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You may be a musician if...
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Subject: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Bsondahl Date: 10 May 03 - 08:14 PM This might be an oft invented thread, but I reinvented these for my Musician's Anonymous page, which you can find at http://sondahl.com You may be a musician if... The callouses on your fingers are thick enough to handle hot dishes from the oven without a hot pad... You tell your spouse you're going out to spend the evening playing music with some friends, and then actually do it. You have too many instruments to carry all at once. You can "rationally" explain to your spouse why you needed that third guitar. It bothers you that "Waltzing Mathilda" isn't a waltz. Feel free to add your own qualifiers... Brad Sondahl |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: khandu Date: 10 May 03 - 09:14 PM You know the keys of your spouse's normal speaking voice and your dog's "happy you are home" bark! k |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 May 03 - 09:40 PM You've ever bought a guitar as a present for your spouse even though he or she has about as much talent as a milkshake. To keep from having to retune your guitar, you have different guitars for DADGAD tuning and Open D tuning (DADF#AD). By the way, rationally explaining the third guitar to the spouse is no problem. It's the tenth one that's tough. Fortunately, by the fifteenth one they will usually have just resigned themselves to their lot in life and won't even ask. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Bill D Date: 10 May 03 - 09:44 PM ...if you can't STAND someone singing or humming part of a song without finishing it. If you know it, you have to finish it- if you don't know it you have to learn it. This refers to my wife...not to me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rick Fielding Date: 10 May 03 - 10:12 PM You can (with a little experience) justify the 40th(!!) instrument to get into the basement! Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 10 May 03 - 10:29 PM You notice and react to the music in restaurants, shops, etc. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rapparee Date: 10 May 03 - 11:48 PM You actually LISTEN to the music. You can identify both songs and music from the middle of various pieces. Singing in church, you realize how many hymns actually have more secular roots. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 11 May 03 - 12:32 AM After a convention gig ...you walk around the dinning-room tables...picking up untouched, parmasiam-cheeze chicken breasts.
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,.g Date: 11 May 03 - 12:40 AM On weeknights, when you can stay up late, the kids go to bed early, and so does their mother.
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Thomas the Rhymer Date: 11 May 03 - 02:14 AM ...you look forward to that new set of strings measurably more than your next sexual encounter... ...you take a bite of dinner, pick up an instrument, and fifteen minutes later, your 'bite' is still in your mouth... ...you bound out of bed at four in the morning to try a tune you remembered in a dream... ...doorbell intervals, and car horn chords are interesting, and fun to harmonize with... ...the backing beeper on the construction trucks inspires a counterpoint melody... ...all the knives in the house are kept as dull as possible... ...you write songs about writing songs about about your exlover's lack of musical appreciation... ...you actually like the sound of bagpipes... ;^) ttr |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: alanabit Date: 11 May 03 - 04:16 AM You hear a pretty girl singing in the shower and you put you ear to the keyhole. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Hrothgar Date: 11 May 03 - 07:37 AM You're unemployed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST Date: 11 May 03 - 10:00 AM Anything that happens or anything anyone says can evoke an appropriate song from you as a response. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Mr Red Date: 11 May 03 - 10:25 AM Bsondahl I think you'll find that the Queensland (and original) version of 'Matilda is a waltz - but then what would a drummer know? Apart from what he reads in threads on the subject. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rick Fielding Date: 11 May 03 - 11:54 AM You're in a good mood Greg, and a funny one too. Stealing (liberating) food is an all too common occurrence among musicians......highly unprofessional, but some (like yours truly) who have more than a bit of larceny in them can turn it into an art occasionally. I mentioned this before on the cat, but filling my whole case up with lobsters seemed like a good idea at the time. When I got home I realized that even the biggest pig could only eat a couple....and I couldn't re-freeze the other forty. Chucked 'em sadly. Twenty five years later the cats still LOVE sniffing that case! Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 11 May 03 - 01:03 PM Stealing food? Are we musicians or are we bums? ( I know... in some circles they're one and the same... ) " ...you take a bite of dinner, pick up an instrument, and fifteen minutes later, your 'bite' is still in your mouth..."??? That's just gross... A couple of my musician chums and I were remarking over pints the other night, that we're the only people we know, outside of characters in musicals, who actually break into song in normal conversation... |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Thomas the Rhymer Date: 11 May 03 - 01:32 PM I have a hard time imagining you having a 'normal' conversation, Clinton... ;^) Yes, the vile and disgusting truth is out... Sometimes I'd rather play than chew... ...and my new strings are a day old... I wonder who will be at the session today?;^) ttr |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,Wesley S Date: 11 May 03 - 02:56 PM You may be a musician if you get the same lust in your heart going into Mandolin Brothers or Gruhns that other men get going into a topless bar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 11 May 03 - 03:38 PM ... your daughters name is Amanda Lynn ,-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Les B Date: 11 May 03 - 11:06 PM You take your guitar to bed with you and can't understand why your new bride is upset (a friend claims he really did this!!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 May 03 - 11:39 PM Well, Wesley, I personally get a much stronger lust in my heart going into a nice music store that I would going into a topless bar. After all, the topless bars don't let you play with the merchandise for hours and walk out without having spent a cent. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Merritt Date: 11 May 03 - 11:42 PM ...you keep a full-scale pitch pipe in your car so that you can try out singing a new song until you get the right key. ...you look forward to long car trips (I have responsibilities around the state in my job) in order to work on vocals. ...instead of going "out on the town" when you travel, you bring pizza and beer back to your motel room (and your guitar) so you can go over more tunes. - Merritt |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blackcatter Date: 12 May 03 - 12:14 AM You receive SPAM from sheet music sites more than porn sites. You play Name That Tune with yourself. You remember vacations by the CDs or tapes you brought along to listen to. You have at least 5 formats of recorded music. (CD, MP3, LP, cass., reel to reel, 8-track, 78, 45, etc.) You chose where to eat, not by the quality of the food, but the type of music played. You bring your instruments along to any party in the hopes it will turn into a jam session. You sing the words to Musak, even though you hate Musak. While most people have a favorite color, you have a favorite time signature. You have your own website dedicated to the lyrics of TV Theme Songs. Blackcatter's World of TV Theme Lyrics |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 May 03 - 06:12 AM It's 11.15am local time, you're still wearing your night attire and you're posting to Mudcat threads NOT labelled BS! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blackcatter Date: 12 May 03 - 04:56 PM If you complain about the BS threads |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rapparee Date: 12 May 03 - 08:36 PM If you can discuss, intelligently and at GREAT length, every variation of the instrument you play (e.g., you play dobro and you can discuss valved, stringed, tenor, soprano, bass, plucked, hammered, keyed and every other variety of the thing) as well as the variety of their key signatures (e.g., the difference between an A flat hammered banjo and a banjo hammered flat). |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Cluin Date: 12 May 03 - 08:41 PM You probably DON'T listen to the radio while driving your car. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blackcatter Date: 13 May 03 - 12:06 AM God, Rapaire, you're right! I play tin whistle, just about the simplest instrument going, and I find myself going on and on with people who just ask the simple qustion - "What is that you're playing?" Of course I often open up my whistle case (a large drum stick bag) and start showing off 15 some whistles (about all I can resonably fit in the bag - the rest are at home). Usually 4 metal types, two mouth piece types, 8 keys, graduated -vs- straight bodies, countries of origin, etc. Don't get me started about jews harps . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,mink Date: 13 May 03 - 05:51 AM You get to work late every day because you picked up your guitar to practice "just one song" before going in. One song leads to another. An hour later you realise you still haven't cleaned your teeth, washed your hair & ironed you clothes........ Worse than that though, is when you find a kindred spirit to go for a quick jam at lunchtimes...... one tune leads to another..... etc etc |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Pied Piper Date: 13 May 03 - 06:10 AM A researcher decides to investigate the old idea that pets grow resemble there owners, so she borrows the dogs of an Architect an Accountant and a Musician. The idea is to put the dogs in a room full of bones to see how they react. First in is the Architect's dog, which assembles the bones into a neo-gothic kennel, then the accountant's, which stacks the bones in piles of 10 and groups of 100. Finally in goes the musician's dog, eats all the bones, shags the other two dogs, shits all over the floor, and asks the researcher how much he's getting for the gig. All the best PP |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rapparee Date: 13 May 03 - 09:04 AM Your wife or other significant person pats you gently on the arm and says, "That's okay, dear. I now know more about 12/8 time than I've ever wanted to know. And the guests left three hours ago." |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: *daylia* Date: 13 May 03 - 09:40 AM You spend half an hour going through the rings on your new phone to find one that's in the same key as your doorbell? Sometimes the birds outside your window early in the morning drive you INSANE because they keep singing that same d*** minor third OVER and OVER and OVER ... (So you let the cat out, hoping they'll either change their tune or flock off!) You think the most attractive thing about Liona Boyd is her fingerpicking techniques? |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Bsondahl Date: 13 May 03 - 09:53 AM The bird thing is a coincidence. I'm not sure of the interval, but it's chickadees in spring that do the pronounced two note whistle, and I wrote it into a song, available on my MIDI page (called Birdsong), and now whenever I go out and hear the birds sing, that tune starts in my head. http://home.earthlink.net/~sondahl/birdsong.mid there's the blue clicky to it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: *daylia* Date: 13 May 03 - 10:22 AM Bsondahl, that's just lovely! Thank you! It's the changes in the underlying chords that make those same two notes bearable after the first dozen repetitions, for me anyway. Now, if the chickadees could only sing in harmony ... or maybe I could drag my weary bones out of bed and accompany them on the guitar! ;) I heard a very pretty bird-melody the other day - couldn't see the little vocalist but I bet the song is species-specific. It went up a minor 6th, down a major third, and ended with a series of staccato notes and an upwards glissando. If you play the note E for one beat, then up to C and hold for 2, down to Ab for one beat followed by 6 quick staccato notes and then an upwards slide, it's a pretty fair simulation. The little creature kept perfect time too, and never went off-key. Very impressive! Anyway, if you're not a musician you'd have to be pretty obsessive-compulsive to analyse bird-songs, I guess. daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: JennyO Date: 13 May 03 - 10:54 AM Very pretty, Bsondahl. Daylia, just happens I have a piano beside me at the computer, and I had to try out the birdsong you described. I wonder what kind of bird it is? We have the currawongs whose cries even seem to vary from one area to another. At my place, and very close by, they seem to say "Get real!" They sort of start on high c for "get", down to d for the beginning of "real", then slide up to about a : "get reeeeaaalll". I only have to swivel my chair around to play the piano. Would only a musician have the computer next to the piano? One of the reasons I chose the mobile phone I did, was that I can program tunes of my own choice into it. I put in four of the songs my choir sings. Now when it rings, I know it's mine. I'm probably the only person in the world with a phone that plays "Grandola Vila Morena" - drove them crazy on the tour! ;-) Jenny |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: DMcG Date: 13 May 03 - 10:59 AM Mine phone plays 'Sir John Fenwick's the Flower o' them all' for most callers, and 'Childgrove' for family. Sad, isn't it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,kingbrilliant Date: 13 May 03 - 11:03 AM The pidgeons at my mum's house are,allegedly, more literary than lyrical. One cries "Where's Heathcliffe" - and the other replies "Gone away, poor Kathy" I think my mum's a nutter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Cluin Date: 13 May 03 - 01:46 PM The crow outside my window every morning keeps asking, "Is it safe?... Is it safe?..." I think I'm a nutter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Kim C Date: 13 May 03 - 04:47 PM You can't just have music on in the background, because you have to stop what you're doing, pick up your instrument, and find out what key it's in... |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: MMario Date: 13 May 03 - 04:50 PM grumble,grumble,grumble theyareallslantingtheiranswers*INSTRUMENTALISTS!phooey! |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blackcatter Date: 13 May 03 - 06:29 PM If you turn a BS thread into a serious discussion of music inspired by bird calls. yall are wunnerful! |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: s&r Date: 14 May 03 - 06:36 AM your defence to a speeding charge is that you can't have been speeding since at 30mph your gearbox was humming concert pitch A and you would have noticed a change since you have perfect pitch (John Dankworth I think) |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blues=Life Date: 14 May 03 - 08:22 AM JennyO, good for you. I keep a Telecaster in an open case under my desk. Half of my workday, it's in my lap. You can't hear it (unplugged) when I'm on the phone. I know a call is running long when I find myself reaching under the desk... Blues |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST,Sarah Date: 14 May 03 - 08:33 AM You reward musically-accomplished buskers - but get insanely annoyed with the shaggy whistlers who have never learned a whole tune but string phrases of several together! AAAArgh. Sarah |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Rapparee Date: 14 May 03 - 09:13 AM After searching for years for the words to complete the memory of a song, you post your request to the 'Cat and are discover either that no one else knows or that it's in the DT. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Hollowfox Date: 14 May 03 - 09:52 AM Blackcatter, that's a great site! I'm going to recommend it to my library's reference center. Yep, we get questions on this. Thanks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Thomas the Rhymer Date: 14 May 03 - 05:52 PM ... your simultanious orgasms are in harmony. ttr |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST Date: 15 May 03 - 10:45 AM Your car is held together with baling wire, your house should've been condemned in the previous millenium, but your instruments are in pristine condition and occupy the only temperature controlled room in the house. |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: GUEST Date: 15 May 03 - 10:48 AM when you write a new song and it kills you when no one else is around to listen to it... |
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Subject: RE: BS: You may be a musician if... From: Blues=Life Date: 15 May 03 - 12:36 PM ...if you have a guitar worth more than your car. |
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