Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)

Subject: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: GUEST,Allan S.
Date: 13 May 03 - 01:01 PM

Need the words to a song about 3 men of different ethnicities who are starving. They only have one piece of baloney to feed them. They decide to see who has the best dream and he gets the baloney. Upon waking they tell their dreams. The last man says "I dreamed the other 2 had died and gone to heaven So I ATE THE BALONEY" Sung to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel. Any ideas??

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 May 03 - 01:16 PM

Didn't find any lyrics, but you can order the vinyl here, about half way down.

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: Hillheader
Date: 13 May 03 - 01:49 PM

Are any of these what you are looking for?

Version 1

">Version 2

Davebhoy

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: Hillheader
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:01 PM

Sorry about the last link. Try This one

Davebhoy

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: GUEST,Allan S.
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:44 PM

Fantastic- I havent heard it since 1960 Thanks a million - Allan

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: Jimmy C
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:54 PM

I heard Dick Nolan from Newfoundland sing a version of the Baloney Song, I'm sorry I can't remember all of it but here is what I know:

Verse 1: Two Irishmen and a Newfie went out for recreation.
They took enough provisions along to last a week's vacation,
But they got lost out in the woods and the nights were dark and lonely.
All their provisions ran out, except one piece of baloney.

Verse 2: Someone shouts, says, "I've got a knife but it's no use in carvin'.
There's not enough baloney here to keep us all from starvin'.
Why don't we sleep on it awhile, and in the mornin'," says Maloney,
"Whoever has the nicest dream gets to eat the baloney."

Verse 3: ??????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????

Verse 4: One man says, "I had a dream. It was a double feature.
I thought I died and went to heaven and was welcomed by St. Peter.
He says, 'You're looking grand, my boy, So put it there, Maloney.'
I don't think you can beat that dream, so I guess I get the baloney."

Verse 5: The Newfie said, "I had a dream it is no use in lying.
I dreamed that both of you went off, then I started crying.
I saw you two go up above, and Lord! but it got lonely.
I thought that you would never come back so I got up and eat the baloney."

Verse 6: Now let this be a lesson to you if you go out for recreation.
Be sure to take enough along to last the whole vacation.
For if you get lost out in the woods, and the nights grow day and lonely,
There's always one smart Newf around, and there's always a piece of baloney.

I will wreck my brains for the missing words unless someone else can fill in the gaps.

Jimmy

VERSE 6: Vell, I know I have to admit I know you aren't lying
Cause I dreamt that both of you died. O, how I was crying
You vent up to Heaven an' then Vhile I felt so lonely
I dreamt that you weren't coming back So, I ate the baloney

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: Hillheader
Date: 13 May 03 - 04:40 PM

Jimmy

The earlier posts have the version you're looking for too.

Davebhoy

Subject: RE: Song, need words ' I ate the baloney'
From: GUEST, GEST
Date: 13 May 03 - 06:56 PM

Mighty close on those lyrics, Jimmy C. :-)

For a refresher, here's the complete song by Dick Nolan.

The Baloney Song

Subject: Lyr Add: ONE PIECE OF BALONEY (from Max Hunter)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 06:30 PM

From The Max Hunter Folk Song Collection, which also has a sound file:

ONE PIECE OF BALONEY
As sung by Mary Stoutland, Fort Smith, Arkansas on July 11, 1969

1. An Italian, a Hebrew, an Irishman
Once in search of recreation
Tooking up from each
An allowance to spend a vacation
They got lost, way out in th woods
It was dark an' lonely
All their food gave out, except
One piece of baloney

2. Someone shouts, says I've got a knife
There's no use of cutting
If we do there isn't enough
Who'll give us a speeding
Ho, ho, ho, I think if we keep the baloney awhile
What ya say, say Tony
An' I'll try an' stay awake
And I'll watch the baloney

3. Nothing doing, Tony me boy
It might be to inviting
I suggest we all go to bed
So there's nothin' phony
An' the one who has the nicest dream
Wins the baloney
Ho, ho, ho, I jest a had a nice'a dream
I think this morning at seven
I dreamed I die away
And up descended to Heaven

4. I go right thru the pearly gates
On a nice white pony
You no can beat a dream, like that
So, I win the baloney

5. Not so fast, me bucko, me boy
I had quite a dream, myself
I died for over eating
I went up t' Heaven
And, O, what a greeting
Up came Peter, smiling an' said
If it ain't my old friend, Maloney
Now, you can't beat a dream, like that
So, I win the baloney

6. Vell, I know I have to admit
I know you aren't lying
Cause I dreamt that both of you died
O, how I was crying
You vent up to Heaven an' then
Vhile I felt so lonely
I dreamt that you weren't coming back
So, I ate the baloney

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BALONEY SONG (Dick Nolan)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 06:31 PM

Copied from Songs of Newfoundland and Labrador:

THE BALONEY SONG
Dick Nolan

Two Irishmen and a Newfie once went out for recreation
They carried enough provisions along to last a week's vacation
But they got lost up in the woods the night was dark and lonely
And all of their provisions ran out except one piece of baloney

Now one guy said you must admit there is no use in carving
There's not enough provisions left to keep us all from starving
I suggest we go to bed and tomorrow said Maloney
Whoever has the nicest dream eats the piece of baloney

Next morning when they all awoke at quarter after seven
One guy said I had a dream I dreamt I went to heaven
I met St. Peter at the gate, he was riding on a pony
Now I bet that you can't beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney

Now the next guy said I had a dream and it was a double feature
I also died and went to heaven and was welcomed by St. Peter
He come up to me and put out his hand saying put 'er there, Maloney
Now I know that you can't beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney

Now the Newfie said I know it's true the two of you were dreaming
The reason that I know it's true I was dreaming of you all evening
I saw you two go up above and gee but I was lonely
I thought that you would never get back so I got up and ate the baloney

Now this may be a lesson to you if you go out for recreation
Make sure you carry along enough grub to last for the duration
The story that I told to you, I hope you don't think it's funny
'Cause there's always a smart Newf around and there's always a piece of baloney

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I ate the baloney'
From: GUEST,Y_Si_Ad
Date: 07 Jan 07 - 12:33 AM

Orson Bean had an album called "I ate the boloney" that had that song on it. That was a pretty good album, but it has gone the way of The Little Rascals for not being politically correct. It's pretty tough to find the album and the MP3s are not available.

You all might remember Orson Bean from the old TV game shows. He was a popular game show host. He also did a bunch of guest appearances on sitcoms like the Love Boat. I even think I saw him on Monk or Psych recently (can't remember).

In any case, the album has some pretty funny stuff on it. I particularly like the two Chinese men in China going out for some ethnic food in America Town. They ordered Bay-ka-an-egza, one order for two. :)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'I ate the baloney'
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Jan 07 - 11:15 PM

Allmusic.com says I ATE THE BOLONEY (note spelling) was written by Harry Lee and recorded by Billy Murphy; it's on "Yankee Doodle Boy," ASV/Living Era #5608, 2005.

The National Library of Australia has the sheet music, but does not have the images online, probably because it's still under copyright. Here's the catalog entry:

Author: Lee, Harry
Title: I ATE THE BOLONEY [music] / by Harry Lee.
Publisher: Melbourne: L. F. Collin, c1926.
Description: 1 score (3 p.); 32 cm.
Notes: For voice and piano. Includes chord charts for ukulele.
Cover title.
"Specially featured by "Ukelele Bob" Williams, at J. C. Williamson's Tivoli Theatres".
"This song includes special ukulele accompaniment".
"Hoey and Lee's famous 'boloney' song".
Subjects: Popular music --1921-1930.
Vocal music, Australian --1900-1930.
Other Authors: J.C. Williamson (Firm)
Collect from: Petherick Reading Room (Music Collection)
Call Number: MUS N mba 783.242 L478

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 07 - 09:12 AM

The poem is in "Treasury of American Folklore by Botkin. You may get it in any library.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE THREE DREAMS
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 10:29 PM

Thanks for the tip, guest. I happen to own that book.

THE THREE DREAMS
(Tune: POP GOES THE WEASEL)

Two Irishmen and a Hebrew one day went out for recreation.
They took enough provisions along to spend a week's vacation.
One night, they got lost in the woods; the night was dark and lonely.
At last the food they had gave out, except a piece of baloney.

As one of them took up a knife, I said, "It's no use of carving,
For if we share this piece of baloney, it won't keep us from starving."
So I suggested we all go to sleep, and so did Maloney.
And the one that had the best of dreams wins the piece of baloney.

The following morn we all got up. It was quarter after seven.
One of them said, "I had a dream. I died and went to heaven.
St. Peter met me at the gate, riding on a pony.
I guess that dream couldn't be beat, so that wins the piece of baloney."

[Line missing here?]
The other one said, "I too had a dream. I died and went to heaven.
St. Peter met me at the gate, stuck out his hand, and said, 'Hello, Maloney!'
I guess that dream couldn't be beat, so that wins the piece of baloney."

The Hebrew said, "It's true, my friend, that you were sleeping.
The reason why I know it is 'cause I was peeping.
I saw you both go up in heaven, and, believe me, I was lonely;
I thought you'd never come back again, so I got up and ate the baloney.

[From The Journal of American Folk-Lore, Vol. XXXIV (July-September, 1921), No. CXXXIII, pp. 327-328.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 02:15 AM

I know this song. If you still want the lyrics, write to [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST,Marty Colton
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 01:17 PM

My father used to sing the Baloney song to me in the late 30's. It started like this'

Oh, the country air is rich and rare
It stimulates the mind,
How I long to be there in the Morris chair
With the folks I left behind.
I used to plow and milk the cows,
And now and then I'd stop,
To listen to the guys, who were telling lies,
In the good old barber shop.

OH, I remember a story; I remember a story, and now this little story I'm going to tell to you: There were three men who got lost in the woods and it was dark and lonely. All their food gave out except one piece of baloney. Someone shouted I've got a knife??????????????? But one said "I suggest we all go to sleep and the one who has the best dream - he wins the baloney." They awoke in the morning and told their dream and said it deserved to be chosen but one man said "Wait a minute I went to sleep and dreamt we died and went to heaven and saw Saint Peter" and he tells the two men he thought they died so when he woke up, he said "I ate the baloney."

We always sang this song when dad would take us driving on Sundays and when we passed by a farm where fresh manure was spread we'd start singing the verse Oh, the country air etc. I've got all the lyrics right for the verse and then I just remember the jest of the rest of the song, I always felt so sorry for the two men who woke up to find the one man had decided to eat the baloney. By the way I used to listen to this song on our old Victrola. So somewhere out there someone might still have the record.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST,Scott Temple
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:25 PM

i want the chords to the song anyone able to help me with this email me.. [e-mail] thanks...

Subject: Lyr Req: I ATE THE BALONEY (from Orson Bean)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 07:46 AM

You can hear this version at The Internet Archive:


I ATE THE BALONEY
As sung by Orson Bean on his album "I Ate the Baloney" (1969)
Tune: "Pop Goes the Weasel"

Two Irishmen and a Hebrew once went out for recreation,
And they took enough provisions along to spend a week's vacation.
But they got lost out in the woods. The nights grew dark and lonely,
And at last all of their food ran out except a piece of baloney.

Now one of them said as he picked up a knife, "There's no use in us carving,
For if we do, there won't be enough to keep us all from starving.
So I suggest we go to bed, and tomorrow," said Maloney,
"Whoever has the nicest dream wins the piece of baloney."

The following morning when they awoke a quarter after seven,
One of them said, "I had a dream. I died and went to heaven.
Saint Peter met me at the gate, riding on a pony.
Now I don't think you can beat that dream. I win the baloney."

The other one said, "I had a dream too, and mine was a world-beater.
I also died and went to heaven, welcomed by Saint Peter.
He rushed to me, held out his hand. He said, 'Hello, Mahoney.'
Now I don't think you can beat that dream. I win the baloney."

The Hebrew said, "I'm dreaming too, a dream that couldn't be sweeter.
I seen you both go up to heaven, welcomed by Saint Peter.
I waited and waited and waited around, and I got so lonely,
I didn't think you was coming back, so I got up and I ate the baloney."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 09:35 AM

Dick Nolan can be heard singing his Newfoundland version here:

Piece Of Baloney

Subject: Lyr Add: I ATE THE BALONEY (from Billy Murray)
From: GUEST,D. ALLISON
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 12:20 AM

I ATE THE BALONEY is not exactly "politically correct" but still funny. I have the original Billy Murray 78 rpm record and as far as I can tell the words go like this:

A-hunting we will go.
A-hunting we will go.
A-hunting we will go.

The country air is rich and rare; it stimulates the mind.
We long to be there in a Morris chair with the folks we left behind.
We used to plow and milk the cow, but now and then we'd stop
To listen to guys who were telling lies in the village barber shop.

Oh, we remember a story.
We remember a story,
And now this little story
We're going to tell to you.

An Italian, a Hebrew, an Irishman once in search of recreation,
Took enough provisions along to spend a vacation.
They got lost way out in the woods; it was dark and lonely.
All their food gave out except one piece of baloney.

Someone shouted, "I got a knife, but there's no use of carving.
If we do there isn't enough to keep us from starving."
"We keep-a de baloney a while, a-what-a you say?" says Tony.
"You let-a me try and-a stay awake and I watch the baloney."

"Nothing doing, Tony me boy; it might be too inviting.
Never mind; now listen, mein pal; please stop all this fighting.
I suggest we'll all go to bed so there's nothing phony,
And the one who has the nicest dream wins the baloney."

(Yawning sounds)

"I joost-a had a nice-a dream I think this morning about at seven.
I dream I'm-a die and go up-a stairs-a to heaven.
I go right through the pearly gates on a nice-a white-a pony.
You no can-a beat a dream like dis, eh, Mike-a? Poosh over the baloney."

"Not so fast, me bucko; I had quite a dream meself; I died from overeating.
I went up to heaven and then, oh, what a greeting!
Old Saint Peter smilingly said: 'If it ain't me old friend Moloney!'
Now you can't beat a dream like that, so I win the baloney."

"Don't push! Take your time, please; will you?

"I want to say, I'll have to admit, I know you aren't lying,
For I dreamt that both of you died and, oh, how I was crying!
You vent up to heaven and then, vhile I felt so lonely,
I dreamt you wasn't coming back, so I ate the baloney."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST
Date: 30 May 12 - 09:41 AM

I too am looking for these lyrics. I can only offer the last 4 lines: "I waited and waited and waited around,/ I was getting mighty lonely / I didn't think you were coming back / so I got up and I ate the baloney." When I heard it it was sung in a vaudeville routine, and the last ethnicity in the rowboat to deliver a line was Yiddish. "I vaited and vaited ..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GUEST,Molly
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 06:26 PM

I have been singing the first few verses of this song my entire life as my dad did and his dad before him. My grandfather, b. 1905, whose parents emigrated directly from Ireland, actually made a recording of this song (for his own personal use). For what it's worth, below is my family's version of the first few verses and I sing this to my kids still. :-)

Oh the country air that's rich and rare and stimulates the mind
How I long to be in the Morris Chair with the guys I left behind
I used to plow and milk the cows and now and then I'd stop
To listen to the guys tellin' lies in the village barber shop

Oh I remember a story, I remember a story, I remember a story
I'm about to tell to you
An Italian, a Hebrew, and an Irishman set out for recreation
They brought enough provisions along to spend a vacation
Well they got lost way out in the woods and it was dark and lonely
And all the food gave out except one hunk of baloney

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: LadyJean
Date: 04 Apr 14 - 06:47 PM

In Turkey they tell stories about Nasser Ed Din Hodja. In one of these he's on a trip with two friends. They are down to one bowl of rice and agree that whoever dreams the best dream will get it. His two friends dream of paradise, but Nasser Ed Din says, he dreamed he saw Satan with his fangs, who told him "Nasser Ed Din! Eat that rice!" So of course he did.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:44 AM

Not only is this song anti-Semitic, it's clearly anti-Hasidic as well!

Subject: Lyr Add: BALONEY (F Adkins)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 12:44 PM

Heard this on Spotify:


BALONEY
As sung by Frank Adkins & Frankie Adkins on "Cool Water" (2011)

1. Got the pedal to the metal; I'm on my way.
There's nothing in this world could make me stay.
I just hope there's something to eat up ahead.
All I need is a pound of b'loney and loaf of bread.

CHORUS: B'loney is all I need,
Cold beer and bein' free,
A place to lay my body down,
A hunk of good b'loney layin' 'round.

2. Some like it fried and some like it plain.
To me it don't matter; it's all the same.
Some like it hot and some like it cold,
Even onions and green peppers, I've been told.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Ate the Boloney (Harry Lee)
From: GEST
Date: 02 Jun 16 - 09:36 AM

The URL in my post above has changed. If I could I would delete the post, but here is the new URL: Piece Of Baloney (Dick Nolan)

---

Hi, GEST - I'm always happy to edit posts in the music section, although I prefer not to delete them. I updated your link above.
-Joe Offer-
[e-mail]

Subject: Lyr Add: BALONEY (from Benny Bell)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Jun 16 - 08:13 AM

Yet another version that I found on Spotify. The recording sounds rather old; I suspect it's a transcription from a 78-rpm record, but I have no details.


BALONEY
As recorded by Benny Bell on "The Best of Benny Bell"

Three guys I know with plenty of dough once had a grand inspiration.
They thought they'd like to go on a hike and spend a ten-day vacation.
They took along three bags of food and a pound of macaroni,
A can of corn, a can of beans, and a four-inch piece of baloney.

For seven days they wandered around; the road map somebody lost it;
And on the eighth they suddenly found that all their food was exhausted.
The sun went down and here they were in a valley rough and stony:
No food at all except that small little precious piece of baloney.

It was too small to cut up in three so that was out of the question.
Then someone got a brilliant idea and made a clever suggestion.
They all agreed to go to sleep and they swore it won't be phony.
Whoever has the sweetest dream will eat up all the baloney.

They all woke up the following day and Tony was so delighted.
He said he dreamt he went to heaven and joyfully he recited:
"An angel shook me by the hand and shouted: 'Hello, Tony!'
I think this dream cannot be beat, so I guess I win the baloney."

The next one said: "Be patient, my friend; I'm not so sure that you win it.
I also dreamt to heaven I went and promptly as I got in it,
I took the key to paradise and I rode there on a pony.
I think this dream is better than yours, so gimme; I want the baloney."

The last one said: "Don't argue, my friends; you both should win; I don't doubt it.
I dreamt your dreams were just as you say, and I did something about it.
I saw you both go up to heaven; it made me sad and lonely.
I thought you'd never come back again, so I got up and ate the baloney."