BS: World's Longest Sperm?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: GUEST,red and white rabbit
Date: 20 May 03 - 11:41 AM

well she will be 'boared' then

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: GUEST,Richard H
Date: 20 May 03 - 11:28 AM

The male pig's thing is corkscrew-shaped so it can thread into the female and lock. The big problem comes if the female has a left-hand thread...

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:49 AM

And from "Cats on the Rooftops":

The fruit fly's small and rather slow,
In length he's but a millimeter or so,
But when he comes, it's time to go,
As he revels in the throes of fornication!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Doug_Remley
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:18 AM

Guess that's why ladies are screwed by bores. Geesh! I've got fruit flies all over the place from some melons I bought. Does this mean I have to mop the kitchen. How boring, screwed again.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:10 AM

For those who have wondered what "comes" in second in the great sperm competition, according to Pitnick it's just another fruit fly.

And here's a tasteless limerick to close this thread:

There is a fruit fly called bifurka,
Whose claim to fame is bizurka,
It produces a sperm,
Which scholars confirm,
Is longer than all other jerkers.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: diesel
Date: 19 May 03 - 10:07 PM

Not sure why this thread reminds of this joke - but here it is anyhow:

Little Jenny comes home from playing at Johnny's house.

Hey Mom, guess what! Johnny's got a penis like a peanut!"
Mom is understandably confused for a second, then asks
What, you mean it's shaped like a peanut?"
No silly, it's salty!"

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: artbrooks
Date: 19 May 03 - 09:52 AM

A natural French tickler?...never mind...

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: *daylia*
Date: 19 May 03 - 09:24 AM

"I'm jealous now. Imagine the orgasm needed to jack out a sperm 20 times your own body length."

Cluin, just imagine the dimensions of the condom required to contain such a monster! Maybe it could be evacuated and used as a hot-air balloon afterwards!

"the more she mates, the shorter her life span." -- "I think that's true in the human as well.... -- "I also seem to recall reading that a boar has a corkscrew shaped penis."

Well guys, I was just always grateful to be a human and not a cat. Apparently female cats are "induced ovulators" -- they cannot release eggs until they are stimulated ... (read "ripped")... internally by the barbs - or "penil spines", on the male's penis. It's shaped like a little fish-hook. Don't even want to think about it ...

But a corkscrew-shaped penis? Hmmm, except for the sharp little tip, that sounds like anything BUT boaring ... he he he

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: MC Fat
Date: 19 May 03 - 09:15 AM

When I once used one of my throw a way one liners about onece being 8lb 10 oz a fellow Catter (Beardy) said 'Yes it's in the Guiness Book of Records as the heaviest ever human sperm'

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 May 03 - 09:10 AM

stevetheORC
almost SPAWned another joke there, for eggs ample.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Deckman
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:50 AM

As long as we're speaking of weird animals (we were. weren't we?) don't forget the "Picca." It's a small land mammal, somewhat similiar to Marmets. One unique feature is that it's testicles are FORWARD of it's penis! Poor little critter, it probably can't tell if it's coming or going. CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:11 AM

We may get a ditty out of this yet, "A Rhapsody to the Fruit Fly" or perhaps "Pity the Poor Sperm Whale." Sorry, but "Superior Sperm" as a song title is already taken.

Got to run,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 19 May 03 - 02:07 AM

"Stick in your mind"--well, I suppose there's that, too...

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Metchosin
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:10 PM

While we're on the subject of exaggerated anatomy, sort of, did you know that the male Argentine lake duck, has a penis about the same length as it's body. Odd because very few species of birds have penises. I also seem to recall reading that a boar has a corkscrew shaped penis. Weird how factoids like this stick in your mind.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 18 May 03 - 10:16 PM

So, he's f**king her to death...thats nice....

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Cluin
Date: 18 May 03 - 09:16 PM

A short life and a merry one, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 03 - 08:16 PM

I think that's true in the human as well....


A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: MMario
Date: 18 May 03 - 06:45 PM

fruit fly sperm is (they think) toxic to the female - the more she mates, the shorter her life span.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 18 May 03 - 06:37 PM

what about the female he's pumping it into??

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 03 - 06:27 PM

I don't even want to think about what it must be like to be a male in that species.

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Cluin
Date: 18 May 03 - 04:59 PM

I'm jealous now. Imagine the orgasm needed to jack out a sperm 20 times your own body length.

It'd be a good way to lose weight too.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Gareth
Date: 18 May 03 - 04:45 PM

Charley - It's not length that matters !

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:23 PM

A bi-furca!
Does this mean it is attracted to both sexes?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: stevetheORC
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:16 PM

Sorry but I thought that you said the Worlds longest Spaw!!!!!

De Orc

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Deckman
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:09 PM

It's almost a tail well told ... so to speak! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: alanabit
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:04 PM

Thanks Charley. It's one of those things that a feller just needs to know.

Subject: BS: World's Longest Sperm?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:02 PM

I was thinking of posting this on the erotic/erratic music thread but after some consideration decided it deserved its own special thread. Now this is all true, based on a Portland Press Herald AP article back in 5/12/95. I save things like this for special moments.

Now you may think that the answer to the title of this thread is the elephant or the whale but you'd be wrong. It's the sperm of the Drosophila bifurca (droh-SAH-fil-uh bye-FUR-kuh if you're putting this to music), of all things a lowly fruit fly.

This marvel of nature "cranks out sperm that are about 2.3 inches long. That's 20 times as long as the fly itself and about 1000 times longer than human sperm" if you're interested in comparisons. This fly is found in places such as Arizona, Mexico, parts of Central America and the kitchens of some of our finest restaurants.

Each sperm is almost all tail, but that doesn't make it speedy. "They're kind of big and sluggish," says Scott Pitnick, a National Science Foundation postdoctoral fellow at Bowling Green State University in Ohio.

"About 11 percent of the fly's body weight is devoted to the yellow-orange curled tube that produces the sperm. And that apparatus takes so long to develop that once a male fly becomes an adult, it must wait 17 days before it can reproduce...Females are ready in only 7 days."

So, share the moment and be humble, and then let's raise a mug to the awesome Drosophila bifurca!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble