King of Rome sequel?

Subject: RE: King of Rome sequel?
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Aug 14 - 02:25 PM

I'd guess you mean the parody by Les Barker, which is also called the King of Rome.
Recorded by Sic Transit on the Missing Persians File (Guide Cats for the Blind, volume 2)
Les's website as he makes his living through a combination of performances and sales from his site it would be wrong of me to post the actual lyrics.

Subject: RE: King of Rome sequel?
From: GUEST,jojofolkagogo
Date: 16 Aug 14 - 08:37 AM

I am looking for the Parody of King of Rome
about a man who buys a pigeon and it keeps going back to the original owner, Hi there K McGrath, how are you, do you know this song and what's it called

from Jo

Subject: RE: King of Rome sequel?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 07:27 PM

Even though, unlike Malcolm and Leadfingers, I don't live in Hayes, I'm with Leadfingers on preferring the moggy version. Especially since I was sent an e-mail on buttered cats (there's a readover to the Toast Song too, but the buttering I can't recall...)

Subject: Perpetual Motion)

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were
used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

.....and then this mail got this reply from one of the recipients:
I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance
between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
p = s * t(t)/tc
where "p" is the probability of carpet impact and "s" is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping and permanently staining the carpet.
Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high "s" value, while the "s" value of water is zero.

"tc" and "t(t)" indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of "p" being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a "p" value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet. "

Kitty

Subject: Lyr Add: THE CAT THAT ROAMED
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 06:04 PM

Here's a link to it - 'The Cat Who Roamed' A nice contrast, but...

---

Thread #31088   Message #483197

Posted By: Gervase

14-Jun-01 - 08:02 AM

Thread Name: Songs for Cats...Corrrrrrrr.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE CAT THAT ROAMED

A belated addition (I sing this to my cat as a dire warning. Particularly when his farts get too bad):

THE CAT THAT ROAMED
(Malcolm Austin)

In the West End of Hayes lives a working man
He says I can't fly but me moggie can
And when my cat gets free
He comes flying back to me
Lifted up by next-door's toe

There's a pigeon loft in next-door's yard
With locks and bars - oh, entry was hard
But Charlie had a dream;
Oh how he would scheme
Just to get amongst them for his tea.

It was 1950 - that's ten to eight,
When the neighbour made his big mistake;
Left the door open wide
Charlie got inside.
Sometimes it seems your dreams come true.

In the West End of Hayes life was hard
And so were those pigeons in next door's yard.
Have you seen what beaks can do?
It was far more peck than chew.
Poor old Charlie how his fur did fly.

The neighbour stormed out in a rage
To see Charlie fall out of that cage.
He said, 'Cat you're going to fly;
I'll lift you up so high
You'll think you're never coming down!'

I was off with me mates for a pint or two
When I saw a bit of orange flash up in the blue.
It's Charlie the cat that roamed
Flying back to his West End home.
Come outside he's crashed upon the path.

Get on up you flat moggie
And I'll fetch the vet to thee.
Charlie I told you so,
I warned you not to go;
Now you'll need a lift just to reach me knee.

In the West End of Hayes lives a working man.
He says I can't fly but me moggie can,
And when my cat gets free
He comes flying back to me,
Lifted up by next-door's toe.

Subject: RE: King of Rome sequel?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 05:58 PM

But I still prefer Malcolm Austins rewrite 'The Cat Who Roamed'

Subject: RE: King of Rome sequel?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 05:19 PM

And here is a link I left out of that post - to The King of Rome, for anyone who doesn't know the song.

Subject: King of Rome sequel?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 05:17 PM

Just saw this story about a pigeon from Bootle called Billy who has turned up in New York after taking the wrong truirning on the way home from France.

All the makings of a great song. Only false note is the suggestion that Billy "has been renamed Tony Blair for his 'guts and determination'." That has to be some New York media hack. I can't see many people this side of the Atlantic having quite that take on Blair.

And Billy the Pigeon is a pretty honourable name - here is a link to a site about a predecessor with the same name from the 1940s who was awared "the animal's VC".