Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??

Subject: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: Big Mick
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 10:51 PM

I love playing this game. Tom (mando player in my band) and I were out playing 9 holes tonight. As were driving along, singing songs and talking music, it occurs to me that the Scots have got to have some great songs about the game that they standardised and play so well. And the Irish as well.

How about it, Catters. Waddyagot?

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 01:34 AM

The only thing I can think of is a snatch of a song my father used to sing to himself:

Oh the dirty little pill went rolling down the hill
And it rolled right into a bunker
From there to the green I took fourteen
And there, by God, I sunk 'er

(to the tune of "The Girl I Left Behind Me")

wr

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: Snuffy
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 08:11 AM

I think that bit comes in the middle of Bing Crosby's Straight down the middle

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: greg stephens
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 08:48 AM

Some sports seem so much more musical than others. There are countless thousands of songs about the mechanics of tormenting foxes and hares in various ways; boxers and wrestlers get plenty of praise; the post-game music of rugby players is legendary(thoughthe songs generally celebrate another kind of game);there is a smattering of good cricket songs: football ispires the purest folk form of all, the offensive chants of the terraces, but not much actual songs(except for dreary money raising anthems sung(?) by the teams); but golf as far as I know seems to rank with darts, tiddly winks and rounders as a relatively music-free zone.

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: Peterr
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 09:53 AM

Noel Murphy is a member of our little golf club way down west - and though he doesn't usually sing while on the course he never stops talking! A few years ago he brought Finbar Furey on a round, and he didn't seem to stop talking either. Finbar hits the ball an ENORMOUS distance.

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: GUEST,James H. Silver
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 10:33 AM

I am also looking for a song about golf. A Newfoundland entertainer, since deceased did a song he called "Uncle George"s Golf Game".
He also played the song on his radio program on two occasions. So it must have been a recording. He nearly lost his radio program over it, as it is somewhat off color. It probably had another title but as he billed himself as Uncle George no doubt claimed the song. The text of the song was about a fellow who did not understand what Golf was about and thought the fellow explaining it was referring to his private parts. Maybe someone will know of this song and post the lyrics. It is a corker.

Subject: Lyr Add: BIG NELLIE MAY (from the Corries)
From: Teribus
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 10:43 AM

There's this one by the Corries, don't know who wrote it.

Big Nellie May - tune Vilkens Dinah/Thrashing Machine

I'll tell you the story of Big Nellie May
She took up the golf in a serious way
Wi' her shiney new clubs and her big plastic bag
She could easily have passed for Jack Nicklaus in drag

Now Nellie was handicapped more than the rest
Her swing was impaired by the size o' her chest
Her over-development proved her down-fall
For when she swung they both swung, and all missed the ball

(Not sure about this next verse - no doubt someone will put it right)

Determined was Nellie never givin' up hope
She tethered them up wi' a big piece of rope
But tricks o'this kind really were nae much use
For the very next swing both the rascals broke loose

In shear desperation she turned to the Pro
Who looked at poor Nell and said, "Well I don't know,
I've only seen two just as big as yours do
And they were on a camel in Calderpark Zoo"

This pointed remark at the poor girl's physique
Caused Nell to lash out in a great fit of pique
Her blow caught the Pro in his most cherished spot
And now he's got two just as big as she's got

Tooral-Loo, Tooral-Lay
Ah've got ma Tee-time and am aff tae play.

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: GUEST,Ralf
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 03:08 PM

A famous one is:


Fill up the Rider-Cup

Subject: Lyr Add: DONALD THE DUB (Rice, Crumit)
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 04:36 PM

From the CD "Frank Crumit - The Song of the Prune"

DONALD THE DUB
Rice & Crumit

Listen to the tale of a stalwart male
Who lost his well-known nanny.
Donald was his name and golf was the game
That made him as grey as his granny.
He practised much but his style was such
That his handicap stayed at thirty.
Oh, the words he used when the ball he bruised
Were nothing else than dirty.

In the locker room every night,
He'd sing of his awful plight:

Oh, the dirty little pill went rolling down the hill
And rolled right into a bunker.
From there to the green, I took thirteen,
And then by gosh I sunk her.
I get no fun in the air and sun,
But down in the traps I labour.
I sweat and weep where the sand is deep
Till I want to murder my neighbour.

There was one great day that came his way.
His score he was sure to diminish.
Never had such form; then up came a storm.
He was never able to finish.
He had a slice that was far from nice.
From him it never parted.
Once he hit a shot, believe it or not,
That came right back where it started.

Do you wonder that he groans
And sighs and wails and moans:

Oh, the dirty little pill went rolling down the hill
And rolled right into the water.
And the reason, it would seem, I lifted my beam
When I know that I shouldn't oughter.
Then I hit a shot which, believe it or not,
Sailed right into the marshes.
I wished right then like a lot of other men
That I should have worn his galoshes.

Now Donald the dub joined a country club
And found a fellow duffer
Just as bad as he, so with shouts of glee,
They started out to suffer.
They played nine holes and the poor little moles
Were never scared so badly,
For the divots flew and the cuss words too,
And the birds and the bees left gladly.

As the end of the day drew nigh,
Came a song that was sung with a sigh:

Oh, the dirty little pill went rolling down the hill
And rolled right into the clubhouse.
When I got there with sand in my hair,
They'd changed its name to the dubhouse.
I wrecked more ground than Columbus found,
And the man that I am after
Is the crazy Scot who invented the game
That robbed all the world of laughter.

Donald the dub broke club after club
As he waved the world goodbye.
He suffered every hour when his game went sour,
Even as you and I.

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 07:15 PM

Golf is just another way of spoiling a nice walk in the countryside.

Subject: RE: Golf songs: Irish or Scottish??
From: weerover
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:52 AM

There's also a song by Percy French called "No more of yer golfin' for me". Don't have my PF book to hand but will post it later if anyone wants it.

wr