BS: Resolutions for folk song characters

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 01:33 PM

I'll pay Paddy Doyle for his boots if he'll turn down his f***ing stereo.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 12:51 PM

I will not hire Long Lankin's girlfriend as my Home Help.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:07 PM

Ain't gonna drink with no fireship wearing a black velvet band, no sir!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Songster Bob
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 10:02 PM

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.

Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: jaze
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM

If she gets on that morning train, I definitely will marry someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 07:11 PM

Should I decide to rejoin the ranks of the British Army, I shall not indulge in barter or second hand trade, and I will check my sergeant for cloven hoofed feet, small horns or a pointy tail.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: jaze
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:53 PM

When buying a round for the gang, I definitely won't forget Barbara!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:20 PM

I sang that for years as "ain't gonna greet my Lord no more...

Splains a lot! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:14 PM

and I'll make sure no prospective partners are called william or johnny/nancy or nelly (delete as applicable :-) )

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 06:08 PM

I will stay indoors all through May

I will be wary of soldiers and sitting on their knees (although I'm not sure it's their knees you have to watch out for)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 04:54 PM

(Susan...I sang that for years as "ain't gonna greet my Lord no more...guess I'd better break up with Lady Mondegreen, also) (always thought it sounded a little odd, but the nuances of theology always did escape me.)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:28 PM

Ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:29 PM

If there ain't no more cane on the Brazos, I'll leave and start over.

I'm not going to wait around until she comes 'round the mountain, or for the wagon either.

The next time I see my rival, I won't have a dagger in my hand. I'll stay back a hundred meters and nail him with a .30-06.

I'm going to break up with Lady Mondegreen.

I'll tell the next person who asks exactly what I saw at Killiecrankie!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:11 PM

If I never had but one sweetheart, and in greenwood she is lain, I'm damned if I'll sit and weep all on her grave for a twelve month and an day.   Much less kiss her. There's other sweethearts to be had.

If I'm walking down the street and see a string hanging out a girl's window, I'll be sure to pull the ole string.

If I'm rich, and a beggar begs the crumbs that fell from my table, I'll be sure to have them swept up and presented to him with a low bow.

When riding along the Cimarron, having lost my job upon the Santa Fee because of some trouble with the boss, if I ask some cowboys for the loan of a horse and it's granted, I'll not ride him if he's dun-colored.

If I ain't got the do-re-mi, I'll go back to beautiful Texas. Or maybe Alabama. Tennessee??   T' hell with California!

When I'm about to be affianced to a rich farmer's daughter called Beautiful Kate, who has a large fortune of jewels and rings and five thousand pounds and other fine things, I won't accept a grey mare into the dowry even should papa offer to throw it in as pourboire!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 12:16 PM

The NEXT time I go into that town where the boys kick my dog around, he will be a Pit Bull.

I'm going to sue that geneological site which refuses to input my information that proves I'm my own GrandPa.....(well, I have to admit, it DID crash the program)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

If daughter says "Don't go in the lion cage tonight!" I think I'll go shopping at the mall instead.

I will at least empathize with "The Downtrodden Landlord" until those irresponsible tenants upstairs are evicted.

I will swear off "eggs and marrow bones" and "yellar eels" for another year.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: DMcG
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 03:25 AM

When I catch 'em in my molecatchers trap, I will take due account of inflation and the market rate before asking for ten pounds as compensation.

I will, on the other hand, no longer complain about butter at a shilling a pound or a half-penny a loaf.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 05 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM

refresh - any of you folk song characters out there make any new year's resolutions?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:55 AM

... and I'm not looking for a travelling companion ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 07:50 AM

... but WHERE do I get the money to buy the new bucket/duct tape? ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 05:56 AM

For Foolestroupe.....Use Gaffer/Duct tape, Henry!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 04:26 AM

Just buy another bloody bucket!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 12:42 AM

I don't know - Barden of England - you should have some nice fancy garb now...

... but HOW will I fix it, Morticia, Morticia ...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:10 PM

I will not be satisfied with a tall ship, and a star to steer her by.
I will insist on a proper corrected compass, echo sounder, and GPS !

45 fathoms, and a white sandy bottom will not fix my position - I'll want a tide corrected "ping", three radio bearings with a good cut, and a full weather synopsis before squaring the main yard. This will enable me to give the Dodman, Rame Head, Portland, The Wight, and the Owers good clearence. I will fix again before attempting to mix it with the ferries between Beachy, Dungeness and the South Foreland. A definitely working echo sounder before going inside of the Goodwins to the North Forland via the Gull Passage and most certainly not trust upon wearing ship and a visual on the Light, 'Cos the North Foreland Light aint there any more.

And without a pilot I will not take a square rigger past the Longnose, inside Margate Hook, and across the Copras, Whitstable Street, and 4 Fathoms Channel to the Nore.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM

I will come in your kitchen (Heh! Heh!), keep my skillet good and greasy, keep my damper down, and put my buns in the oven (hadn't thought of a better place to cook them anyway)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:54 PM

Hardi swears there shall be no more hunting on Sundays by any member of our household.

As for me, I will get good sturdy shoes from LL Bean before following any gourds, anywhere. Also, when next asked, "Sister, don't you want to go there?", I will answer promptly in the affirmative.

From now on, any windows we smash will be replaced with Plexi.

I will check Expedia before setting out for Lindisfarne/Lisdoonvarna.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:49 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Roughyed
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:38 PM

Sorry I sent that a little prematurely..

I will wait till Sunday and then inspect her birth certificate to ensure that she is indeed seventeen years of age.

I will avoid barley fields at all costs

I will not go rooting around bushes on Leatherhead Common or riding off to inns and will mind my own business

I will leave the poor White Hare to roam the fields of Oldham, Howden or wherever it may be found

I will not get caught rebelling against famine or crown.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Roughyed
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM

I will not stick knives in any part of young infants

I will leave the Blacksmiths good billycock strictly alone

I will leave my true love to an untroubled night's sleep and will not go calling at her window

I will seek another cure for my leprosy that does not involve infantile vampirism

I will wait till S

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

OK , Michael, You win, I'll get a new outboard, or by the time we get there they will have a bridge across the Jordan!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 05:01 PM

If I wake up one morning to the sound of something moving past my window in the wind I WILL be concerned. I'll assume you are a stalker and phone the cops. Take your nets of wonder somewhere else there are no butterflies in here! - bright, elusive or of the love kind. Footsteps running through an open window? That's just too silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 09:38 AM

If I'm traveling under the name of Jack Duggan and troopers named Kelly, Davis and Fitzroy step up, I'll go quietly and hope for a fair trial.

Okay, okay, I'll TIE your bloody kangaroo down!

I might have been everywhere, but I'm avoiding Llangof..Llangokl...Wales.

Forget it, Captain. Your daughter ain't worth the swim, and I lost my little boring-tool in a card game.

Next Christmas I'll be waiting on the rooftop, shotgun in hand, and if that reindoor crap ain't cleaned up, I'm gonna have me some venison.

Next time I play "jolly old St. Nicholas" I'm not leaning my ear any damned way. Little anklebiter spit in it this year.

I'll mind my OWN arms and ammunition, thank you!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Barden of England
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM

1) I will never serve drinks to 3 maidens from the Isle of Wight without them paying for them first.
2) If I get to a wide river, then I'll catch a ferry and not wait for somebody to build me a boat.
3) I'm not going to lean bck on any trees, as the bend and break too often
4) I'm not going to change my name to 'John Barleycorn' - it's too bloody dangerous.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 07:15 AM

Just fix the bloody bucket,Henry, okay?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 04:03 AM

Look, those three ships - who gives a sh*t who is in them or what day it is?!

If I'm sitting in a field, minding my own business, which just happens to be sheep, I ain't gonna go running round the country on the word of a wierd looking bloke in a dress. I'm gonna be going straight to my doc and ask him about the hallucination chorus!

Should my two companions suggest I take some presents to a small child half a world away, I'm not going to be the one carrying the gold.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:41 AM

If I am walking through a cherry orchard with St. Joseph and he makes some snide remark about my baby's paternity, I will divorce him. I'm the friggin' Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Galilee! I don't have to put up with that kind of crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Marion
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 03:35 AM

I will keep my concern over what is said of me in fair England in reasonable perspective, and will not offer anyone the opportunity to strike me with my own sword.

If King Wenceslas proposes a social call to a miserable peasant's hut a good league hence, on a night when the frost is cruel, and carrying a load of pine logs, I will deny knowledge of where the peasant lives.

If the ship I work on sinks, and its owners point out that the loss is fully covered by insurance and that it had twenty years of wear and tear and financial depreciation anyway, I will acknowledge the good sense in what they say.

I will touch Suzanne's perfect body with more than just my mind.

I will tell my former true love just what he can do with his cambric shirt without a seam or fine needlework.

If in the course of lowering a barrel of bricks I am struck and injured repeatedly by the barrel, by the pulley, by falling bricks, and by the ground, I will not write to my employer asking him to excuse my absence. The letter my employer receives will be from my attorney.

I will not break things off with a friend just because he got a little crazy once and tried to touch the sun.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:59 PM

If I see a fair maid wandering up and down on the shore, I'm just going to sail on by.

If I'm rolling down the street in Sailortown and see a thread hanging out the window, I'm gonna give it one hell of a yank.

If I'm rolling down the street and come across Shanghai Brown, I'll politely say, "Good Day" and roll on me way.

If I come across a drunken sailor, I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to do other then check all his pockets and see if there's any money left.

If I'm rolling down to old Maui, I'll make sure I paint them beaches red.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:42 PM

If you know your love by his way of walking and talking the answer to the "if he leaves you" question is , I would suggest "Celebrate"

If a bunch of Cornishmen come calling for their friend let them have him.

If your boy plays the harp and wants to borrow his fathers sword, Dont give it to him, lock him in the cellar until its all over.

Take care when calling cattle in estuarial regions of Cheshire, keep your eye on the state of the tide, especially in a westerly wind.

If your parents are moving house make sure you write down the new address and have a map and street guide handy.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:59 PM

1. If someone says, "Children go where I send thee?" don't ever ask "How shall I send thee?" because it opens you up to a whole evening of answers and you'll never get away.

2. Speaking of questions - when a strange little man, or a knight, meets you on the road and asks silly questions - be brave and assertive! Any silly answer will do.

3. More about questions - if your son or anyone else turns up covered in blood asking him veiled questions like, "why does your sword sae drip with blood?" wastes a lot of time. Just out with the accusations. Unless you think he's dangeruos to you, in which case just don't ask.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:33 PM

If I were a large red coated gentleman who works his butt off just one day a year, I won't be climbing any roofs, just leave a window open for me.

And I'm gonna be checking my information considerably more than twice. Some of those little bastards are dead sneaky.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:16 PM

1. If I had a wayward son I would never visit him in jail bearing only a smile. Come to think of it I would realise that I drove him to crime by smiling silently at him all his life.

2. I will most definitely not go away shearing with you Willie to wait on you hand and foot - especially in regard to washing your dirty moleskins. Ramstack mutton doesn't sound much chop either.

3. If a lady dressed in green, whose garden my ball had just landed in, were to offer me my ball back, an apple, a cherry, and a gay (or otherwise), gold ring, I would immediatly disown the ball and run away very, very fast.

4. If Johnny went to the fair without me, and promised to buy me off with a bunch of blue (or any other coloured) ribbons AND was late home I would question our relationship.

5. If the Bathroom/toilet/dunny/loo door was locked from the inside for days and days I would know that there were three old ladies in there and not be wondering about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:50 PM

I will be pleased to resist the attempts of the white steed, although the dapple grey speaks so highly of him...

I promise to endeavor always to respect God's wishes as I whittle with my little pen knife...

I am now and forever always aware that killing milk white hinds before they appear to royalty just makes good sense...

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: SarahNash
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:46 PM

I will not accept the glass of wine offered to me by my boyfriend, when I *know* he's angry with me for dancing with another man all night.

I will not rove out to eavesdrop on my friends'/acquaintances'/total strangers' lovers' tiffs.

And I will definitely NOT run off to a nunnery when my boyfriend gets killed in battle!!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:30 PM

Liz-

LOL! But it took my wife's wit to decode your resolution.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 03:01 PM

I will not kiss red coated gentlemen under any parasitic plant, real or plastic.

I will allow the hoofed animal with the scarlet proboscis to join in the games and loan the aforementioned red coated gentleman my biggest torch.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:51 AM

If the dog falls in the cider vat and drowns, I will wait a suitable interval, filter and bottle the resulting brew BEFORE inviting my friends and neighbors in for a drink.

Of course, there still might be a little hair of the dog left...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Gareth
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:30 AM

Should I matriculate, I will go straight to the train and not dally with an atractive barperson.

I will not climb up statues, particullay 'Venus'

Out of self presevation will go absent rather than play against Llaneli.

And will most certainly go looking for Badgers !!!!

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:12 AM

When looking for a fine place to play, I will avoid haystacks.

If I leave school on Friday, I'll have Saturday off for relaxation, thank you.

If asked by a Prince, I'll weep. It saves no end of trouble.

No matter how ugly Alison is, I'll take her gifts. That saves trouble as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Micca
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:15 AM

Should I need to go to Wapping I will buy a Travelcard and take the DLR to Canary Wharf, Thus avoiding Ratcliffe Highway completely, and in passing avoiding Limehouse even if the girls are smart as a freshly painted figurehead.