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BS: Want to meet someone?

the lemonade lady 19 Aug 03 - 06:15 AM
kendall 19 Aug 03 - 10:16 AM
Amos 19 Aug 03 - 10:22 AM
John MacKenzie 19 Aug 03 - 10:50 AM
Liz the Squeak 19 Aug 03 - 11:03 AM
Amos 19 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM
jimmyt 19 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM
Liz the Squeak 19 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM
jimmyt 19 Aug 03 - 11:29 AM
kendall 19 Aug 03 - 11:57 AM
Morticia 19 Aug 03 - 01:54 PM
jimmyt 19 Aug 03 - 02:06 PM
Amos 19 Aug 03 - 02:56 PM
Mudlark 19 Aug 03 - 05:30 PM
GUEST,Susst 19 Aug 03 - 05:57 PM
GUEST 19 Aug 03 - 06:10 PM
SINSULL 19 Aug 03 - 09:18 PM
Liz the Squeak 20 Aug 03 - 01:18 AM
the lemonade lady 20 Aug 03 - 07:34 AM
jacqui c 20 Aug 03 - 03:58 PM
catspaw49 20 Aug 03 - 04:25 PM
GUEST,amergin 20 Aug 03 - 04:34 PM
GUEST,Susst 20 Aug 03 - 06:31 PM
MAG 20 Aug 03 - 06:46 PM
Liz the Squeak 20 Aug 03 - 06:50 PM
GUEST,amergin 20 Aug 03 - 06:56 PM
GUEST,I'm shy, Ms. Lemon, I'm shy 20 Aug 03 - 07:26 PM
kendall 20 Aug 03 - 07:56 PM
catspaw49 20 Aug 03 - 09:45 PM
Deckman 20 Aug 03 - 10:29 PM
Liz the Squeak 21 Aug 03 - 01:51 AM
the lemonade lady 21 Aug 03 - 02:29 PM
MAG 22 Aug 03 - 01:48 AM
HelenR 22 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM
Kelly 22 Aug 03 - 09:51 AM
Shelley C 22 Aug 03 - 04:33 PM
GUEST 23 Aug 03 - 06:46 AM
Peg 23 Aug 03 - 09:01 AM
bbc 23 Aug 03 - 09:31 AM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM
Allan C. 23 Aug 03 - 10:28 AM
jacqui c 23 Aug 03 - 01:06 PM
GUEST,married moaner ! 23 Aug 03 - 01:32 PM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 03 - 02:15 PM
jacqui c 23 Aug 03 - 02:32 PM
GUEST,married moaner 23 Aug 03 - 02:37 PM
jacqui c 23 Aug 03 - 02:45 PM
Kelly 23 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM
Peg 23 Aug 03 - 09:34 PM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 03 - 10:39 PM
MAG 24 Aug 03 - 12:20 AM
GUEST,Diva 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 AM
jacqui c 24 Aug 03 - 08:23 AM
kendall 24 Aug 03 - 12:22 PM
GUEST,Geena 24 Aug 03 - 02:57 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 03:13 PM
Allan C. 24 Aug 03 - 04:30 PM
bbc 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 PM
GUEST,married moaner 24 Aug 03 - 04:56 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 05:05 PM
Bill D 24 Aug 03 - 05:23 PM
mg 24 Aug 03 - 05:28 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 06:01 PM
kendall 24 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 06:32 PM
kendall 24 Aug 03 - 06:35 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 09:10 PM
SINSULL 24 Aug 03 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 03 - 11:10 PM
jacqui c 25 Aug 03 - 05:22 AM
kendall 25 Aug 03 - 08:36 AM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 11:40 AM
Bill D 25 Aug 03 - 12:29 PM
Peg 25 Aug 03 - 12:37 PM
kendall 25 Aug 03 - 02:47 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 04:39 PM
kendall 25 Aug 03 - 05:02 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 05:07 PM
GUEST 25 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM
Peter T. 25 Aug 03 - 06:21 PM
kendall 25 Aug 03 - 08:58 PM
SINSULL 25 Aug 03 - 09:22 PM
SINSULL 25 Aug 03 - 09:25 PM
Little Hawk 25 Aug 03 - 11:06 PM
Dave Bryant 26 Aug 03 - 05:36 AM
kendall 26 Aug 03 - 06:06 AM
Noreen 26 Aug 03 - 07:33 AM
Dave Bryant 26 Aug 03 - 07:38 AM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 08:49 AM
Efiddler 26 Aug 03 - 05:13 PM
Amos 26 Aug 03 - 05:17 PM
bbc 26 Aug 03 - 05:53 PM
Noreen 26 Aug 03 - 06:54 PM
GUEST 27 Aug 03 - 03:22 AM
Catherine Jayne 27 Aug 03 - 03:47 AM
mg 28 Aug 03 - 02:33 AM
GUEST 28 Aug 03 - 05:46 AM
Efiddler 28 Aug 03 - 07:13 AM
smallpiper 28 Aug 03 - 10:42 AM
Peg 28 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM
bbc 28 Aug 03 - 10:23 PM
kendall 29 Aug 03 - 02:56 AM
GUEST 02 Sep 03 - 03:25 AM
the lemonade lady 02 Sep 03 - 07:28 AM
Liz the Squeak 02 Sep 03 - 11:06 AM
the lemonade lady 08 Sep 03 - 11:47 AM
Liz the Squeak 08 Sep 03 - 06:47 PM
Catherine Jayne 08 Sep 03 - 06:49 PM
Liz the Squeak 09 Sep 03 - 06:40 PM
Catherine Jayne 10 Sep 03 - 03:51 AM
the lemonade lady 10 Sep 03 - 06:27 AM
Leadfingers 11 Sep 03 - 06:00 AM
the lemonade lady 11 Sep 03 - 06:54 AM
GUEST,noddy 11 Sep 03 - 11:34 AM
Dave Bryant 11 Sep 03 - 12:26 PM
kendall 11 Sep 03 - 12:28 PM
Efiddler 16 Sep 03 - 03:41 PM
GUEST 17 Sep 03 - 03:14 AM
Efiddler 17 Sep 03 - 05:07 AM
kendall 17 Sep 03 - 05:37 AM
Noreen 17 Sep 03 - 10:06 AM
sian, west wales 17 Sep 03 - 10:28 AM
Efiddler 17 Sep 03 - 02:40 PM
sian, west wales 18 Sep 03 - 05:31 AM
GUEST 18 Sep 03 - 11:37 AM
Efiddler 18 Sep 03 - 02:24 PM
kendall 18 Sep 03 - 10:59 PM
Jeanie 19 Sep 03 - 02:17 PM
GUEST,jk 20 Sep 03 - 11:42 AM
kendall 20 Sep 03 - 03:25 PM
diesel 20 Sep 03 - 07:38 PM
RichardK 21 Sep 03 - 04:19 PM
GUEST,María 21 Sep 03 - 04:42 PM
Jeanie 21 Sep 03 - 08:10 PM
kendall 21 Sep 03 - 09:27 PM
Jeanie 22 Sep 03 - 05:02 AM
the lemonade lady 22 Sep 03 - 05:44 AM
GUEST,Diva 22 Sep 03 - 07:26 AM
jacqui.c 22 Sep 03 - 08:08 AM
GUEST,Diva 22 Sep 03 - 01:29 PM
kendall 23 Sep 03 - 10:38 AM
GUEST 24 Sep 03 - 03:49 AM
jacqui.c 24 Sep 03 - 04:22 AM
the lemonade lady 01 Oct 03 - 06:22 AM
jacqui.c 01 Oct 03 - 08:41 AM
GUEST 01 Oct 03 - 04:11 PM
the lemonade lady 12 Oct 03 - 02:09 PM
kendall 13 Oct 03 - 07:52 PM
GUEST 24 Oct 03 - 10:44 AM
SINSULL 24 Oct 03 - 11:35 AM
Raedwulf 24 Oct 03 - 12:52 PM
Jeanie 24 Oct 03 - 02:37 PM
hobbitwoman 24 Oct 03 - 08:59 PM
jacqui c 26 Oct 03 - 03:44 PM
the lemonade lady 25 Nov 03 - 10:20 AM
mg 25 Nov 03 - 12:29 PM
ToulouseCruise 25 Nov 03 - 01:26 PM
ToulouseCruise 25 Nov 03 - 01:37 PM
GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo 25 Nov 03 - 08:13 PM
jacqui.c 26 Nov 03 - 05:17 AM
kendall 26 Nov 03 - 07:48 PM
Jeri 26 Nov 03 - 08:00 PM
momnopp 27 Nov 03 - 01:13 AM
kendall 27 Nov 03 - 08:10 AM
Jeri 27 Nov 03 - 09:44 AM
kendall 27 Nov 03 - 09:10 PM
GUEST,boocat 28 Nov 03 - 09:56 AM
SINSULL 28 Nov 03 - 10:51 AM
kendall 28 Nov 03 - 12:12 PM
GUEST 28 Nov 03 - 12:20 PM
SINSULL 29 Nov 03 - 10:21 AM
Jeri 29 Nov 03 - 10:48 AM
jacqui c 29 Nov 03 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 03 - 06:50 PM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 03 - 07:26 PM
kendall 29 Nov 03 - 08:04 PM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM
Katemaryrose 29 Nov 03 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 29 Nov 03 - 08:46 PM
jacqui c 30 Nov 03 - 03:55 PM
Little Hawk 30 Nov 03 - 04:12 PM
The Fooles Troupe 30 Nov 03 - 05:58 PM
The Fooles Troupe 30 Nov 03 - 07:21 PM
jacqui.c 01 Dec 03 - 04:39 AM
The Fooles Troupe 01 Dec 03 - 05:28 AM
jacqui.c 01 Dec 03 - 08:14 AM
kendall 01 Dec 03 - 08:20 AM
GUEST,hotoy 01 Dec 03 - 09:28 AM
GUEST,plusmama 01 Dec 03 - 01:43 PM
The Fooles Troupe 01 Dec 03 - 04:09 PM
GUEST,DeGaul 01 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM
kendall 01 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM
The Fooles Troupe 01 Dec 03 - 08:21 PM
jacqui.c 02 Dec 03 - 04:19 AM
GUEST,DeGaul 02 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM
kendall 02 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM
Herga Kitty 02 Dec 03 - 07:11 PM
The Fooles Troupe 02 Dec 03 - 09:08 PM
the lemonade lady 04 Dec 03 - 08:48 AM
jacqui.c 04 Dec 03 - 10:35 AM
GUEST 04 Dec 03 - 04:32 PM
jacqui.c 05 Dec 03 - 04:08 AM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Dec 03 - 06:09 AM
GUEST 05 Dec 03 - 06:26 PM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM
GUEST,Diva 06 Dec 03 - 03:45 AM
GUEST,bclitton 06 Dec 03 - 04:20 PM
Little Hawk 06 Dec 03 - 06:51 PM
jacqui c 07 Dec 03 - 05:23 PM
Ebbie 16 Aug 09 - 05:28 PM
Ebbie 16 Aug 09 - 08:19 PM
Amos 16 Aug 09 - 08:20 PM
frogprince 16 Aug 09 - 08:22 PM
Ebbie 16 Aug 09 - 09:03 PM
curmudgeon 16 Aug 09 - 09:31 PM
kendall 16 Aug 09 - 09:32 PM
Jeri 16 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM
jacqui.c 17 Aug 09 - 07:46 AM
Ebbie 17 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM
Stilly River Sage 18 Aug 09 - 01:03 AM

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Subject: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 06:15 AM

I have a friend (male) who would like to met a like-minded lady for friendship and evenings out. He comes from the South of England, but attends many festivals all over Britain. He's a very talented musician/singer and a brilliant ceilidh dancer. He's in his 40's.

Is it possible for us to start up a meeting area for the shy?

PM me and I'll give you his Mudcat name.

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:16 AM

Gargoyl will have a field day with this!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:22 AM

Kindly done, Ms L. Were I in like circumstance I would put myself in your hands in a trice.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 10:50 AM

Put yourself in her hands Amos!! Shame on you Santee, that's no way to talk to a lady.
Still not smoking I hope?

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:03 AM

Er.... define south please? And does he have all his own teeth?
LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:06 AM

I didn't mean literaly, y'auld sot!! No, statying clean as the driven smog!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jimmyt
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM

Liz, never mind if he doesn't have all his teeth, I will gladly drop a set of dentures (or even better, a jar of extracted teeth ) in the post,. and he'll be good as new!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:26 AM

Can you do the same with an E type Jaguar Jimmyt?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jimmyt
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:29 AM

Liz, Only a damn fool would try to replace the teeth in a jaguar!! You would get the hell bit out of you!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 11:57 AM

iS YOUR COOKING THAT BAD?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 01:54 PM

For heavens sake, Liz, what have we told you about inter-species dating? Remember that aardvark? It all ended in tears.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jimmyt
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:06 PM

MOrticia, I had no idea aardvarks could weep!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 02:56 PM

I have known some rerlationships to successfully transcend the species boundary, but they are few and far between. And none of them involved dentistry.

Aardvarks don't usually weep unless provoked in the extreme; more commonly they hold it all inside, and snuffle quietly to themselves in a grating, piercing sort of snorky way. Most unsettling to hear.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Mudlark
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 05:30 PM

Most unsettling, yes, and dont they know it, too, the snivelling little passive aggressive little plonkers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Susst
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 05:57 PM

After evenings out etc...-get my head done in and endup
in hostipal with what I have to putup with. The aftermath

No thanks

I'm goin for cars houses etc. yeah I might even get some diamonds!

They last

I'm keepin my mind sapce for myself


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 06:10 PM

does this person have and interest in re-locating state side?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Aug 03 - 09:18 PM

Does he have an older brother? Preferably independently wealthy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 01:18 AM

Morty - find me a bloke with a tongue like that aardvark......

And an E-type Jag.....

Oooooooooooh nurse, the screens!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 07:34 AM

Woo Hoo are you guys getting excited!!! Calm down, calm down.

Yes, he has his own teeth. He is self employed, so might run to a diamond (ish type thing)but hasn't got an E-type!

"After evenings out etc...-get my head done in and endup
in hostipal with what I have to putup with. The aftermath..." This guy is a friend of mine and I can assure you he's harmless. Don't jump to conclusions.

Actually, can we be serious here. There are some folkies out there who have had some bad luck, or even no luck at all. They've tried many ways to meet someone with no sucess and are a tad lonely. Some of us are loud and confident and manage to get what we want. Others aren't quite so...

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 03:58 PM

The problem is that the shy ones aren't going to come out on the Cat because it's too public. How do you get round that one? Maybe it needs a special thread with a PM run by someone with enough time to sort out the messages. Or maybe we need more local Mudcat gatherings..


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 04:25 PM

The interspecies thing can work out. Just look at Karen and I .... We do fine, get along great!!! Karen is Homo sapiens of course but they're still trying to find a genus/species where I fit in............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 04:34 PM

LOL, spaw...i always figured you were a possum....or a skunk...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Susst
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:31 PM

Ms lemon I was only havin a mess, I ment no offence to your friend
I am sure he is lovely. Good luck, it is a very nice thing to do.

Excuse me, I will try my best not to mess but it one of my favorite
things to do, could someone start a thread on how not to mess I'd
love a look at that and I promise I wo'nt mess


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: MAG
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:46 PM

YTou mean all I have to do to find a guy is to buy a Jag??

Sure, no problem. I'd just have to get rid of my house ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:50 PM

ER... I'm not a guy, but heck, if you're a girl with an Etype, I'll learn to like tuna.....


Well, maybe not....

Seriously - what is this guy after - is it just company to folky events or something.... 'else'.....?

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 06:56 PM

ROFLMAO! you crack me up LTS!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,I'm shy, Ms. Lemon, I'm shy
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 07:26 PM

Jacqui C has hit the nail on the head - it's a real dilemma. I'm sure I wasn't the only one to read the title to this thread and think to myself "Yes, I'd like that", then discover that I could be a possible person for Ms. Lemon's friend to meet....and then get the total jitters about doing anything about it.

Although the world of sessions, festivals, dancing is a very sociable world, with a lot of fun, joy and laughter in it, I get the feeling that there may be a lot of us out there who have been more than once bitten and are more than twice shy when it comes to the possibility of developing a relationship. This then leaves the false impression that there's no-one around in our regular social gatherings who may be interested !

I still think that meeting someone by getting to know them naturally, socially, is the best way, though. Once you start arranging things, all kinds of (false) expectations and hopes come looming over the horizon and they are very hard to shoo away.

Perhaps we could all decide on this thread on some kind of secret masonic-type signal we can use at sessions and festivals ???? Post your suggestions here, fellow Shy-Catters ;)

I wish I wasn't, but, to paraphrase the old song: "I'm shy, Ms. Lemon, I'm shy !"


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 07:56 PM

This could turn into a dating service. How many of us are single and available?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 09:45 PM

Kendall old Bro, I think that you too have a species problem.....The llahma probably has something to say about your availability.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Deckman
Date: 20 Aug 03 - 10:29 PM

This has got to be a talking blues. What key is it in? Bob


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 01:51 AM

Bugger single and available - I just want to go out and have some fun!

Particularly in an E-type!

Just because we have no money, doesn't mean we can't go window shopping, and if we want to try a few things on for size......?!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 02:29 PM

Liz the Squeak
"Seriously - what is this guy after - is it just company to folky events or something.... 'else'.....?"

Company, laughs, singing together... it would be what ever you wanted. It wouldn't have to go any further than your PC until you were ready, if ever.

I'm just the messenger really... don't shoot me!

PM me if you'd like to know more.

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: MAG
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 01:48 AM

One of the planets in the Miles Vorkosigan sagas has this whole system whereby ear jewelry indicates status: single and looking; single but not looking; straight, gay, or hermaphrodite, etc ... made a lot of sense to me. Has to beat the personals any day. A good friend married a guy she met through the personals and it was a disaster from day 1. (She's very happy w/ someone else now; she tells me to never give up.)

M.A., silver haired and overweight


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: HelenR
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 08:57 AM

Yep, I wish there was a code. Little coloured lapel badges or something. It would save an awful lot of guesswork, deduction and emotionally draining cul-de-sacs, wouldn't it? Everybody has to guess everybody else's aims and rules of engagement, or find out the hard way... gah!!

It's hard to take the dating ads/online approach though. You never know if it's got that zing till you meet somebody face to face, however well you might get on by email. Not that I've tried, actually. But I've met quite a few people in real life after meeting them online and you just never know how the two will differ.

x Helen: 37, single-and-looking, as it happens... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Kelly
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 09:51 AM

Online dating seems to have about the same average success rate of bar-scene and other common places for meeting folks. 50% or so. Its just all in what you're comfortable with. I've met bf's online, at work, at clubs, bars and through friends.. and there was relatively little difference. However, those stats are for wide-expansive online services such as random chat interractions, or broad-swath dating sites like Match or Yahoo or whichever. Specialized sites (such as a site not devoted to dating at all, but rather a specific interest group ..ie Mudcat) have a higher success rate, 'cause ya know you already have something fairly major in common. *my two cents*

-Kelly (Single-ish, nawt lookin' hehe.. erm.. unless you have one o' them great Victorian houses in downtown San Francisco. Then we can talk! :P j/k)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Shelley C
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 04:33 PM

I beleive that in certain Gay clubs they use a code based on coloured handkerchiefs hanging out of your back pocket. By this you could tell if someone was single, looking for fun, commitment or whatever.
But I saw a gay guy interviewed on TV who said he found that approach too clinical. You had to dedcide what 'category' you were in and stick to it. Sometimes you just want to go with the flow and see what develops.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 06:46 AM

It's not easy. I am happily single and I think I'm getting set in my ways :-)))))))) but it would be nice now and again to go out on a date sort of thing. My best friend and I keep conjuring up adds to place in mags but lack the courage to do it. Man wanted: own hair,own teeth, all parts in working order, must like music!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we are too fussy????


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 09:01 AM

I have a friend (married, whom I had a crush on for years,   but we addressed this issue and decided straightaway we would    not pursue it) who I was talking to about not being able to have a real relationship. I never met anyone interesting, or if I did, they were always unavailable or uninterested, etc. he suggested   lowering my standards! I thought this was strange advice.   When I mentioned it to a married female friend, she said "absolutely not!"

After several years of having only brief, impossible relationships (with guys who lived in other countries, for example),I am now    seeing someone I first met (and became friends with) two years ago, he was married then; got divorced this year. He does live far away (Ohio, and I am in Massachusetts) but at least it's closer than England! But speaking of standards:   though I liked this guy right away when I met him, he is not normally the "type" I go for. He is steady and normal and not the least bit glamorous, and though he is quite nice-looking and in good shape and all, he is not the calibre of handsomeness I usually am attracted to (I have dated   male models, some of them clearly out of my league, not sure how I managed it). But none of it seems to matter. Anyway, I am getting older so I think looks become less important as time goes by.

I have to admit this dating stuff gets more and more   difficult...and I wish there was a way to bypass it all. I have made some attempts at the online or personal ad thing over the years but without much luck. I am very much a person who responds to the actual "flesh and blood" of someone, to their energy and voice,and I think "getting to know" a stranger via email can be very misleading! at least, this has been true in my experience...

Good luck all!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 09:31 AM

I'm a 50-yr old unattached female, in NE New York state. I haven't decided yet if I'm available. My experiences, so far, haven't encouraged me to have a lot of confidence in my ability to find & keep a good partner. I'm not sure if I've given up on trying or not.

best to all,

bbc


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 10:23 AM

Meet someone? Naw...I've met plenty enough someone's already for one life. Anyway, I've passed the point of thinking that happiness will be found in something (or someone) outside of myself. Being "alone" does not trouble me in the least.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Allan C.
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 10:28 AM

Peg, it has been my experience that there is nothing at all wrong with having an interest in someone as far away as England.

bbc, whether or not you give up on trying, someone is sure to notice what a treasure you are and treat you accordingly.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 01:06 PM

I've been single for about four years now and, while I enjoy the independence there are times when it would be so nice to have someone to talk over a good night's singing or just to snuggle into at night. I do think though that you have to be sure that it is the right person - otherwise things can go wrong so fast. I do agree - it is very difficult to meet anyone - how can you tell who's looking and who isn't? I think the only way is to make friends and see where things go from there. I've got fed up, in the past with guys to say that they are interested in the same things as I am and who later show that they aren't. Why do they do that? Just to get into a relationship? Crazy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,married moaner !
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 01:32 PM

Hi all,

What an interesting read this thread is !

Well, I want to say two things. First, if someone is looking for a mate I don't think there's anything wrong with doing unusual things in an attempt to meet someone. The guy wants a "partner" ? Well, recognise that as a fact, and then think how you are going to do something about it. Apart from the obvious safety concerns, why not ?

Secondly, spare a though for those of us that are in a relationship and still don't get the amount of love and affection they crave for. Poor us ! Ok, back to the point ! I would be happiest if I could reach the way Little Hawk feels. She says "Being "alone" does not trouble me in the least. "

Oh yeah, and if I could have Liz the Squeak's sense of humour, please !


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 02:15 PM

Hey, I'm a male. And you're right, it's a big relief not to be "needing" that one special partner anymore in order to feel okay. I do enjoy having friends, don't get me wrong. I'm not recommending becoming a hermit by any means.

Jacqui - Yeah, that's exactly why they say they are interested in the same things as you...just to get into a relationship! (To be merciful to these guys, they may not all be consciously quite aware of what they're doing at the time...) It all starts when you're 12 or 13 or thereabouts. You've been profoundly affected by all the books, movies, songs, and social mythology...plus your rapidly emerging and ever-increasing sex drive...into thinking that your life is UTTERLY BEREFT and WITHOUT HOPE unless you can get your arms around some desirable female, the queen of all your hopes and dreams...or several such, depending on whether you're a hopeless romantically monogamous type (like I was) or a "kiss 'em and leave 'em" play-the-field type of guy. The former type convinces himself that he IS interested in the same stuff as she is, the latter just outright lies, figuring that anything that works is justifiable.

Sometimes it leads to pregnancy, it most cases it leads eventually to marriage...and a host of other complications. Them as wants it are welcome to it. :-) If I was 16 now, I'm sure it would be the main thing on my mind. Such is life.

Being a householder and raising a family is the toughest job there is, but for most people it is the centerpiece of life, and that's okay with me if that's what they want.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 02:32 PM

LH - I agree with you about being a householder etc. the problem is that a lot of people don't recognise that fact and REALLY work at the relationship. In my experience there seems to be an attitiude of 'OK, now we're married I don't have to try so hard' and that's when the real work should start.

I now would not go into a relationship unless I felt that there really was a strong tie with the guy, and a lot of shared interests. Otherwise I think I have got to a point where I can accept that I may never have another romantic relationship for the rest of my life. So be it.

Now I make sure that I be myself - a good friend says that that is what we are most qualified to be. I found it hard at first to be confident of my own opinions, even if they were not shared by the majority, but have now realised how many people will accede to the majority view, just to avoid seeming out of step. I now have a great circle of friends who seek my company and accept me as I am. If I find a guy who does the same, fine. If not life's too short to worry about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,married moaner
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 02:37 PM

Sorry Lh for inadvertantly giving you a sex change !

Now, since we are talking about what guys want and what gals want, can I ask if any female mudcatters have managed to live life in true love 'em and leave 'em way ? You know, the way men seem to like things !I'd love to do that !


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 02:45 PM

I have a friend who is quite happy to bed guys but doesn't wnat to wake up beside them in the morning. She's quite happy with that situation, but I think that our hardwiring doesn't usually allow us to do that. Goes back to basic instinct, I think - men may have the urge to spread their genes as far and wide as possible but women have more limited options for reproduction and have the responsibility for the resultant sprog, so try to 'pin' the man down as a provider - to ensure the survival of their genes! No wonder there's such a gender gap!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Kelly
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM

Re Allan C's comment:

Hehe dad, no kidding. But, you and I both know the effot it takes to make a long-distance relationship into something successful. So I understand the urge to look a tad closer to home. (Im glad you didnt tho. *waves big to Morty*)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 09:34 PM

Allan C: true enough, but so far it hasn't really worked out for me to have a boyfriend there...though I would like to move there at some point and give it a shot!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 10:39 PM

Very sensible attitude there, Jacqui. Well said on all counts. I knew one woman who was into casual sex in a big way. She seemed to be collecting notches on her gun or something. She was odd. You don't meet too many females with that attitude, and I think it has to do with the genetic hardwiring, as you say.

When societies (mostly very ancient ones, but also some Native American ones) traced lineage through the females it made a lot more sense, because mothers are in there for the duration (normally) and there's no doubt who the mother is either! The father could be anybody. It's downright silly to trace lineage through the fathers...one of a number of silly things that have occurred since the takeover of patriarchal social orders.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: MAG
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 12:20 AM

Women usually collect notches on the doorpost after some big kick in the teeth. The urge passes though.

For women, I think the great rites of passage might look something like (in modern times at least:

Learning to weed out the good seducers who are "merely" good in bed.

Learning to look past initial hyperbold rhetoric a guy spews thinking he means it.

Learning to recognise when guy has put zilch effort into a relationship and then says here's what's wrong with YOU ...

Learning to leave someone who is just plain boring ...

And I agree with the abovementioned one about someone who pretends to be interested in what you are just to get in. I have noticed this usually correlates with that person sabotaging same itmes in your life out of insecurity ( heaven forbid anything should be more important to you than he is!)

Of course these issues may have the genders reversed. Feel free to add any important ones you think I missed.

Oh, and I hope your friend meets lots of nice ladies. Nice guys deserve it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 AM

Good thread....from being single I have learnt that I'm more practical than I ever thought possible. I am self sufficent and very happy with my own company but then I always was. The most important thing is to keep those high standards and if someone comes along that will be lovely and if not, thats fine too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 08:23 AM

Little Hawk - on the lineage thing, I read an article recently that suggested that a mother will take more interest in her daughter's children than those of her son, because she KNOWS, beyond doubt, that the child is genetically related to her. The survival of the species is a very strong instinct and does seem to come down to preserving one's own genes for the future.

MAG - you must have met my ex-husband!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 12:22 PM

The real problem with relationships is, we make them more complicated than they need to be. We play silly games, pretend we are what we are not, etc. Well, I say screw all that! As Popeye said "I yam what I yam." Almost everyone will say they want honesty, but it has been my experience that they are kidding themselves. The greatest of all virtues is straightforwardness...but, it scares the shit out of many people.
When you get to be my age, you lack the energy for games, and your true self shows all the time.
Guys, if you try to get into a relationship with sex as the goal, you are going to be found out and called a rat bastard.
Girls, when you meet a guy that grabs your attention, at the first chance find out how he feels about cats. If he hates cats, RUN like a bandit! He is a control freak, and you will regret it. Don't ask him, he will deny it. Just watch him. Also see how he treats waitresses and his mother. That's how he will treat you when his facade drops away.
If this sounds pedantic, remember, although I have been around for a long time, this is just my opinion.
Single, not really looking but available to the right "Kook"


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Geena
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 02:57 PM

God, Kendall, the lines about cats, waitresses and mothers just sent a shiver down my spine.

My man just ran over a cat and wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't kicked up a real fuss, he hates his mum and waiteresses shouldn't even exist as far as he is concerned.

Oh dear . Should I leave now ? Or wait till tomorrow morning ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 03:13 PM

Good advice, Kendall! Women should definitely avoid guys who hate cats. Cats instinctively avoid such guys, recognizing them immediately for the assholes they are... Also, avoid a guy who talks incessantly about his business or his work (as if it was the only subject of any importance). Living with such people is like being in hell, and it's really boring too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Allan C.
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:30 PM

Here's a statistic I collected a few years ago: Women marrying for the second time expect far more from their new mates. Men expect less.

Ponder this for a bit and see what you think about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:44 PM

Sounds doomed to failure, doesn't it, Allan?

bbc


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,married moaner
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 04:56 PM

Interesting statistic there, Allan.

Has anybody noticed that women are more likely to ENJOY their freedom after a split, whereas men are more likely to jump back into a realtionship again.

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that men have got a lot to gain in a marriage ( e.g. they get their domestic chores done for them ) and have little to lose ( it's more socially acceptable for them to have a bit on the side so they can be married and still play around. )


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:05 PM

I don't think it's necessarily because of that, although it certainly is in some cases. It may be more because of the male sex drive in other cases. One thing for sure, when I thought of women I never pictured someone who was going to do my domestic chores for me...but I was anything but traditional and was hardly thinking in any domestic terms whatsoever...

Now, in my father's case, yeah, he was definitely looking for someone to do the cooking, housecleaning, hostessing, and all that...plus a pretty face. He's traditional. He feels lost without a woman to do that stuff. I'd just as soon do it myself, but when I have a partner I like it split about 50/50.

Allan's statistic indicates that men tend to overidealize women at first. No surprise to me. :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:23 PM

24 years ago, I met this nice lady whose cat jumped into my lap and settled down. She said, "that cat NEVER takes to anyone like that!"

we've been married for 23 years now....
('course, there had to be a few other things in common too, like thie music..*smile*)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: mg
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 05:28 PM

I don't like cats and would strongly prefer never to have one in my house. mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:01 PM

There's an insensitive, control-freak man out there for YOU, Mary... :-)

(just joking)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:13 PM

Mistake number 1

Women marry a flawed guy kidding herself into thinking, "I can change him"

Mistake number 2

A guy marries and kids himself into thinking "She will always be young, firm and sexy".


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:32 PM

Oh! Deadly, Kendall! You are on a roll today, bruthah!

Add "with long, beautiful hair" to that...

(95% of the women over 30 in this town have haircuts that look like an ugly, short, man's haircut. Why? It's very easy to take care of, and they're lazy and can't be bothered anymore. They still discuss their ugly, friggin' haircuts with each other, though, and compare notes...and the hairdressers are happy.)

Falling in love is Nature's way of tricking people into ensuring survival of the species.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 06:35 PM

I never judge a woman by the lenght of her hair, but, I know many men who automatically think that a woman with short hair is a "Dyke"


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:10 PM

Well, to be fair (and I'd better be while I still have time), some women look quite good with short haircuts. It all depends on facial structure, hair, and so on. Thought I'd better say it before I get assailed from all sides for my insensitivity to devotees of abbreviated plumage.

Winona Ryder, for instance, looks great with either short or long hair...at least she used to anyway. Haven't seen Winona just lately.

This in no way excuses the mediocre ugly short women's haircut that has infested Orillia, however. It ain't style, it's sheer inertia and lack of imagination.

Speaking of hairstyles, I saw a young man yesterday who had his hair dyed in two colours, split down the middle of his head. On the right side it was jet black. On the left side it was fourescent Flash Gordon bright green, like a traffic light only an uglier shade of green. He looked "dead stupid" to me, to use a British slang term, but he no doubt thinks he looks totally cool. It's a matter of perception.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:56 PM

Fascinating thread. The ones who claim to love the single life the most, spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about relationships. HMMMM.

So does he have an older brother or not??????


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 11:10 PM

Who, the guy with the black & green hair?

And why not talk about it? Relationships are a fascinating subject. I had two that darn near put me in the funny bin for life. :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:22 AM

LH - at least the two-tone guy is showing some sort of individuality! I keep my daughter shuddering by telling her that, when my (short)hair goes completely white (probably not long now!) I'm going to dye it bright purple and cut out wearing the 'purple hat' in the poem. I rather like the fact that some people, whatever their age will do something that seems totally outrageous to the rest of us. Too often the general run of things is to conform and that's the same in relationships as well. The thing that nearly sent me mad, and took my weight up to nearly 15 stone was conforming to being the housewife - got rid of the man and dropped 4 stone quite easily! I've now come round to the fact that, while I CAN do housework most times I simply DO NOT WISH to do it. In other words this cat ain't housetrained. i had to get into my fifties before I came to terms with that one.

Now, if I could find a man who IS domesticated I might give him houseroom!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 08:36 AM

Playing with fire is also interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:40 AM

True. I was a right pyromaniac when I was a kid, although I kept it to burning rubbish in the backyard and never caused the loss of anyone's house or barn, fortunately. Then I got interested in sex, and that was the end of my fascination with fires.

I agree that showing individuality is good, but I still don't like the look of green hair very much... :-) I have seen some stylish goth-girls in Toronto who look pretty good in their black and metallic regalia.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:29 PM

" I still don't like the look of green hair very much"

but if you get the right ones together, they can serve as traffic signals..

go

stop


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 12:37 PM

slightly off-topic but appropos of physical attractiveness in potential partners:

re: hair, I agree Little Hawk, some women look absolutely feminine and beautiful with short hair and it is very dependent on the shape of their face, head and their personal style...as for their sexual orientation, many lesbians wear their hair long. Kendall, not everyone is from Maine! LOL...

I was kind of forced to wear my hair short until my late teens (too unruly to deal with) and now would never cut it short again; it just doesn't look good on me. Even though my long hair is a pain in the ass sometimes, I can't imagine cutting it short. I think many women cut it short (or do so in stages, thinking they need to get it "done" every few weeks) to make things easier, and on many older women this is quite unattractive...again it completely depends on ther woman. Sometimes a short hairstyle on a less-than-ideal facial structure can be made very nice with the right clothing style    (long flowing things for movement etc.)

While we are on this subject of hairstyle and people not having a clue what looks good: what is with all these younger men shaving their heads??? I readily admit this is sexy on some guys, but most of them look like cretins this way. Please, men, stop shaving your bulbous heads!

The guy I am kinda seeing now (long distance relationship) had very long hair when I met him, cut it short before we finally got together this summer. He has really nice hair, too, thick and full (he is 47) so it's a shame he cut it. He also wears a goatee. I am wondering when this beard style will finally stop being trendy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 02:47 PM

Peg, better re read my post. I was quite clear in what I said; I dont judge a woman by the lenght of her hair, and the men I know who DO, come from all over, not just Maine. This is not the backwater that many think it is!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 04:39 PM

Okay, I'll buy that. Where is what you would term the "hub" of the action in Maine? I want to know in case I go there on vacation.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:02 PM

Depends on what type of action you are looking for.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 05:07 PM

Ah...

Okay, where are the best guitar stores? The quaintest towns? The finest scenery? The penguin rookeries?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM

I have got to stand up for short hair. No, wait, I'll stand up for NICE hair. I don't like unattractive long hair, nor do I like unattractive short hair.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peter T.
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 06:21 PM

Geena, go now. pack the bags quietly and go now, leave no forwarding address. Anyone who would run over a cat for the hell of it is a monster in training.

The waitress test kendall describes is also good. I have never known anyone, male or female who treated waitresses or secretaries badly who was worth shit.

yours,

Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 08:58 PM

LH, the best guitar store is in Portland. The best scenery is almost anywhere along the coast east of Portland, the quaintest village is up for debate. We dont have any penguins, just Llamas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:22 PM

Puffins. We have puffins. But you have missed the season.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 09:25 PM

Come in the early spring and I can introduce you to a family of bald eagles. Came within ten feet of one this year. He came within three feet of my car and deposited about ten pounds of excreta - the look on the face of the guy at the carwash was priceless. Giant chunks of half digested fish frozen to the hood and roof. And me trying to explain "A giant bald eagle crapped on my car."


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 11:06 PM

Sounds like a nice place to visit in the Spring. Seems to me I was there for a few days at a rather young age with my parents. I remember looking at 2 or 3 derelict old clipper ships (fairly big ones) sitting abandoned in a harbour. I was a big fan of clipper ships at that age, and would have dearly loved to climb aboard them, but there didn't appear to be any way handy to do so, and my parents wouldn't let me anyway...they said it was dangerous.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:36 AM

It's obvious that Noreen's off at festivals at the moment (she had Mudguard under her wing at Whitby) or she would have posted on this thread by now.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:06 AM

LH, that had to be the schooners in Wiscasset. They were run aground because they didn't pay any more. Gone now, the town had them broken up and hauled away. Lois Lyman wrote a great song about them which was recorded by Trickett Bok and Muir.
And, your parents were right, they were dangerous to walk upon.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 07:33 AM

Would I, Dave?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 07:38 AM

You just have !


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:49 AM

I loved those old hulks -- they were a major landmark to my youthful mind. Those and the yards at BIW.

Sorry to hear they're gone, but I guess they's have decomposed by now anyway!! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:13 PM

I've been off Mudcat for a while, but now I'm back I'll own up! I'm the one Ms. Lemon started this thread off for, though I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'd just like to say that the teeth I've got are mine, cats seem to head straight for me, and I've never mistreated a waitress in my life (I wouldn't, I used to be a waiter and I know what they have to put up with). I'm single and looking, friendship or something 'else'. Oh, and I'm in love with Ms. Lemon, but she's got someone else :-)

anyone out there?

efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:17 PM

Well, and a good deal less shy than I feared, too! Good on ya!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:53 PM

Greeting, E!

I just checked out the Mudcat pages & didn't find photo or profile for you. I bet the ladies would love to know more about you. At the top right of the page, click the down arrow, select Member Photos & Info & click GO. Send something to Pene Azul so we can get to know you better. You sound like a nice guy!

best,

bbc (in NY)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 06:54 PM

I'm always pleased to make new friends, ef, as Dave Bryant was suggesting (at least I think that was what he was suggesting...) and any friend of Sally's must be ok.

P'raps I'll bump into you at a festival somewhere?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:22 AM

Efiddler...you have the qualities...esp the cats......good luck in your search :-)))))))))


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:47 AM

Efiddler good luck in you search for the perfect partner!

I am happily in a relationship and most people that know us will agree that we are the most unlikely couple ever and many had their doubts about us us at first! I have to say that our relationship works because we have fun together. We laugh...lots and thats important. We both love music and festivals and socializing and good food and good wine....oh and port! Our spiritual beliefs are very similar and we respect each other. I must be very lucky!

I do have long hair which gets very long at times because it grows so fast. I would hope that it looks ok the majority of the time!!....my male seems to like it!!!

Good luck! and have fun!!!

Khatt x


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: mg
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 02:33 AM

I bet y ou will meet someone very nice this way. mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 05:46 AM

Be careful.......its a good way to make friends but I know someone who was very unlucky to meet an ace manipulator, although they didn't know it at the time as they were charm itself to begin with but on digging a bit deeper they had an obvious MO. Listen to that inner voice and be guided by it


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:13 AM

If anyone wants an unbiased opinion of me, they should talk to Ms. Lemon. She's a friend, but she's not blind to my faults, and I know she'd give a realistic picture of me. Probably truer than I'd give of myself!

Efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:42 AM

Hey BBC no photo of you either. You gonna rectify this?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Peg
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM

Catsphiddle you have beautiful hair! Long and silky. One of your prettiest features IMHO.
Yes, you and your man ARE an unlikely couple, but if your relationship works for the two of you (and as far as I have seen, it does!), the rest of the world should not question it.
peg


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: bbc
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 10:23 PM

smallpiper, I started the member info site & removed my info when I stopped managing it. Those who need to know why already know. If you're curious, send me a PM.

best,

bbc


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 02:56 AM

FEMALE PRAYER
> Before I lay me down to sleep,
> I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
> One who's handsome, smart and strong.
> One who's loves to listen long.
> One who thinks before he speaks.
> When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
> I pray that he is gainfully employed.
> When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
> Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
> Massages my back and begs to do more.
> Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to
> "How big is my behind?"
> I pray that this man will love me to no end,
> And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen..
>
>
>   
>
>
> MALE PRAYER
> I pray for a deaf-mute
> nymphomaniac with huge boobs who
> owns a liquor store and a boat.. Amen.
>
>
>
>


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 03:25 AM

Its all true :-)))))))


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 07:28 AM

oi you lot...behave! Thanks for all the pm's. See I told you meeting people isn't that easy.

I've been away and so has mudcat, but i'm back for a while. Keep 'em coming and thankyou.

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 11:06 AM

I'm turning into the man I wanted to marry!! And Jacqui C - Manitas is SO housetrained, feel free to borrow him, he's driving me batty!

Still holding out for that E type Jag though....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 11:47 AM

May I refresh this?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 06:47 PM

Please do - I want to see if there is an E type out there!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 06:49 PM

How about a trike Liz........all that power between your legs!!!

Wish I had a camera at Towersey to get the expression on face when Mick brought you back to the pub on the back of his!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 06:40 PM

It was the 'can I have a cigarette and a rub down with a damp edition of the Radio Times please' expression.

Oh, and a clean set of underwear.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 03:51 AM

Yep that one!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 10 Sep 03 - 06:27 AM

Just a little reminder about this thread...

'I have a friend (male) who would like to met a like-minded lady for friendship and evenings out. He comes from the South of England, but attends many festivals all over Britain. He's a very talented musician/singer and a brilliant ceilidh dancer. He's in his 40's.

Is it possible for us to start up a meeting area for the shy?

PM me and I'll give you his Mudcat name.'

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 06:00 AM

I wish I was daring enough to post a similar request for a lady but I am far too shy to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 06:54 AM

#8-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 11:34 AM

anyone rich and famous will do but then again this is a folk music site so not much chance of that!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 12:26 PM

Hi Efiddler - haven't you had any luck yet ? What part of the South are you from anyway ? - If you're anywhere near London, there's always our barbecue on Sunday.

Poor Leadfingers - it must be terrible to be as shy and retiring as you Terry.

Liz - how about a beaten up old Peugeot 405 diesel - would that do ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 11 Sep 03 - 12:28 PM

I'm always up for meeting someone new...or used even.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 16 Sep 03 - 03:41 PM

Just for the record, I'm living in Somerset.

Yes, I'm still on my own, though I'm corresponding with one 'catter.

Don't have an E-Type. Will a Transit do?

Efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 03:14 AM

A man with a van!!!!!!! Would it be a white one by any chance???


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 05:07 AM

Not white!! Mind you, they go faster than other vans. No, mine's big and orange (and that got me into trouble when I went over to Ireland a few years ago).

Efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 05:37 AM

Try driving a red one in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 10:06 AM

why?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 10:28 AM

Seems to me that's a classic Welsh Valleys Boys' pick-up line: "I got a van." (delivered in a hopeful voice ...) Immortalized by Max Boyce.

sian
passion-wagonless


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 17 Sep 03 - 02:40 PM

Don't know about red in Texas, but anything orange in Eire is still equated with the Unionist cause by a handful of people. The van got hit and I got spat at. I didn't see a single orange vehicle while I was over there!

Sian - well, there is a bed in the back! I spend about 20 weekends a year away from home, mostly with the business at festivals, and I'm damned if I'm going to be uncomfortable!

Efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 05:31 AM

Sounds like - all in all - you're a red-hot property Efiddler. I was camping in Somerset a couple of weeks back; should have paid more attention to this thread!!!

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 11:37 AM

It would be the English number plates combined with the orange but maybe you just went to the wrong places.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Efiddler
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 02:24 PM

Kilorglin. The locals were wonderful people, but a few of the people coming into the Puck Fair were rather nasty! I'd still go back to Ireland (as soon as I find a suitable companion - I don't like travelling alone), but this time I'll hire a car over there.

Efiddler


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 18 Sep 03 - 10:59 PM

Efiddler, I enjoy doing many things alone, but travelling is not one of them.
Noreen, a red vehicle...red is the color of communists. The only worse one is a pink one!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeanie
Date: 19 Sep 03 - 02:17 PM

Orange ? Pink ? The colours of choice for all the best and most eligible superstars when on tour ! See here

(I don't know that they got to America, Kendall, so you can be forgiven for having thought that pink vehicles aren't just as cool as orange).

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,jk
Date: 20 Sep 03 - 11:42 AM

It'll have to be a red van for me then ! Kendall, I hope your wee comment was a joke !


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 20 Sep 03 - 03:25 PM

Of course it was. I drive a red van. Well, more like burgandy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: diesel
Date: 20 Sep 03 - 07:38 PM

Hi Efiddler

Sorry for your troubles with the van in Ireland. Next time you're over in Dublin keep this in mind : There is a rumour floating - not sure how true, but seemingly Dublin during the week has a Female:Male ratio of 7:1 dropping to 5:1 at the weekends !

About the van - just a thought - I don't think it wasn't the colour orange or unionist conotations that done it. Fairs attract their more than fair share of 'gypsies' (inverted comma's for a reason as there are other names used for who I mean..) they nearly always drive vans and with UK plates - dead ringer I'm afraid...

As for me suggetsing where to go if you do come back, and I hope you do, I'm afraid I can't help ye there - I'm married !!
(Though I could always ask the wife if she know's of anybody interesting....)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: RichardK
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 04:19 PM

Um,
Hello.
Er.
Oh well, here goes. Let's see if this works.

Yes well, I'm single, male, and 39, and recently moved near the UK's south coast, near Portsmouth. And I'd be happy to find someone (female, my age or younger) for a bit of company. Concerts, dances, staying in with a video and a bottle of wine (crossed out and replaced with beer, we are talking folkies after all, but then replaced as I like wine as well and it wouldn't do to stereotype folkies as only beer drinkers. It wouldn't do to stereotype people who listen to folk/world music as folkies either, would it. I think I'd better stop before I offend everyone).

Seriously, when I go to folk events, whether concerts or morris or dance events I often feel like my age puts me half a generation out of step. There's those who started in the earlier revival, who are likely to be ten to fifteen years older than me, and there's their children, who are fifteen years younger. I can't be the only one in this middle range ? (Nearly wrote middle age, but that's not what I mean !)

Hmm,

Hopefully,
R.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,María
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 04:42 PM

Richard,

Good on ye for getting your message out there. You sound like the kind of guy that I am looking for. Only problem is I already have a guy (although he ISN'T in to folk etc.). Och well, another time , maybe !

I am a second generation folky, and I am your age. No, there aren't many of us about. That's maybe why I am with a non-folky type, looking enviously into the folky garden next door where the grass is greener !

Good luck !


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeanie
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 08:10 PM

Ah, I'm glad this has got onto the subject of ages. I wonder why it is that it's OK for a man to be looking for a woman his age or younger, yet for a woman, the reverse is what is generally considered "acceptable"?   

The whole business of people limiting their relationships age-wise puzzles me. As far as the superficiality of looks are concerned, anyone in their 30s or more who has been to a school or college reunion will know that people born in exactly the same year may look anything up to 15 years older/younger than each other ! It really is impossible to tell the chronological age of someone by looking at them.

The way a person thinks, behaves, treats others, views the world, life and living - surely more important criteria in seeking common ground with a potential mate - most definitely bears no relation to their chronological age !

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 09:27 PM

Jeanie for president!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 05:02 AM

President of what, Kendall ? The "Shy People Wanting to Meet Someone Society" ? OK...especially if it means I get to choose what the Secret Society Handshake is, and the Initiation Rites !

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 05:44 AM

Don't stop now, this thread is beginning to look promising.

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 07:26 AM

Toyboys are all the rage for women of a certain age...or so I read. I'm a bit boring in that respect,I mean what would you talk about??? Or maybe I should try it!!!!   Seriously though, this is an interesting thread and good luck to all who are searching.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 08:08 AM

I tend to agree with Jeanie on the age thing although I think that too big a gap either way has to be looked at seriously. Up to about ten year's difference there will still be a lot of shared memories of the public events, the music and all the other things that influence everybody. I think that those things do matter in a relationship and, with a larger age gap, there have to be other very strong factors to ensure any sort of success. But what is it with so many men who state that their ideal partner should be their age or younger? Is it the culture we've been raised in, an attempt to retain their own feelings of youth or just nature's imperative that says that reproduction is the reason we're here and the younger the female the better the chances!

I've got at least two friends who lie about their ages, one specifically on a dating site. I can see why they do it but, if that's what it takes to get a man interested I think I'll sit that one out. I think that it happens both ways though, this friend met quite a number of men through the dating site - I know because I acted as 'mum' when she met them for the first time - having their details and waiting for her phone call to say she was home safely - and some of the 'exaggerations' that were made were unbelievable. It's sad to think that so many people feel that they can't find a partner just by being themselves. It's also sad that so many people will discount others without even trying to find out more about them. Anyone want to join a campaign for more honesty or am I tilting at windmils here?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 01:29 PM

I'm with you Jackie.....we should be ourselves and if the world don't like it..too bad. A friend of mine went through the personal adds looking for a bloke while she was living in Edinburgh and turned up some horrors and a couple of nice ones. She would read out prospective dates to me and I would translate them back......saved a bit of time. Bit like the adds placed by estate agents ie compact...small etc. As for the age thing..we'd add on at least 5 years to whatever they said and found we were nearer the mark.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 10:38 AM

If you lie, you will be found out, and that is far worse in the long run. I hate liars.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 03:49 AM

So do I, but what is it about cyberspace makes people think they can get away with it?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 04:22 AM

What gets me is that so many people think that they have to knock years off their age to make themselves 'attractive' to the opposite sex, and it seems to be more a female than a male thing.

The columnist in last night's paper decries the idea of having date of birth on any identity document we might have as it provides 'incontravertable proof' of a woman's age. Why is this such a problem?

Can any male mudactters explain please!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 06:22 AM

refresh


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 08:41 AM

Any male mudcatters out there, or are you all still thinking about this one?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 04:11 PM

I really can't be arsed to read all the posts but going back to the OP I have noticed that most good male dancers don't have any problems meeting women. Quite the reverse in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 02:09 PM

So you don't have a problem with women then?

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 07:52 PM

I haD a blind date recently. When I net her it was obvious that the picture she sent me was at least 20 years old. Whey do people do this? I'm not even sure it was the same woman; in the photo she was quite attractive; in person she looked like she had fallen out of the "Ugly tree" and hit every branch on the way down.
I can't abide deceit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 10:44 AM

But what happened to the original lonely heart in this thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 11:35 AM

I'd like a toyboy but he would have to have a functioning brain. Too fussy?
SINS


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 12:52 PM

Jacqui - male muddie. No I can't explain. Perhaps *you* can! In this instance, it's a woman thing, not a man thing, & we can't answer it for you. Why do women feel the the need to lie about their age? It's not blokes that are being called into question here. What sex was the columnist?

I'm like kendall - if you lie to me, you're history. Any other considerations (age, shape, marital staus, children, you name it) are beside the point. If you lie to me... where is the trust? No trust, no relationship, romantic or platonic. But most 'catters seem more sensible than this, a very unique & honest online community, in my experience! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeanie
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 02:37 PM

I've only ever once lied about my age, and that was to make myself older, when my real age was 15 (in 1968 - get out your calculators) so that I could get into the back room of the pub for the folk club. I'm sure a lot of us have done that ! I've heard Billy Connolly joking that if you *are* going to lie about your age, it's best to always make out you are 10 years older than you really are, throughout your life, then people never cease to be amazed at your sprightliness !

I think the reason why some women feel the need to pretend they are younger is because a lot of men seem to only want to consider women who are younger than they are. In these women's way of thinking, the only way to attract a man who is the *same* age as them, is to say they are 5 years younger or more.

What craziness all round !

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: hobbitwoman
Date: 24 Oct 03 - 08:59 PM

Oh, my - what an interesting thread!! How did I miss the beginning of this one back in August?

Just for the record, I'm female (well I guess that might be kind of obvious) and darn near 50, I've been single for 13 years now and loving loving loving it - and I am blown away by all the guys who have said, in one way or another, never trust a guy who doesn't like cats, b/c that's been my theory for a long time now and I wasn't aware others felt the same way - especially guys! Of course this is a bit of an issue in my house, as my son professes to "hate" my cat but I think this is just a bit of false-macho bravado left over from his high school days. That being said, the cat does tend to give him a wide berth, unless he's just come from Burger King with take-out.

Well, I've already forgotten what all I was going to say - oh, recently I added some "interests" to an online profile of mine, and left my instant messenger open to all - and was besieged by 30 something males hitting on me! This seriously freaked me out. I kept pointing out to these young whippersnappers that I was OLD but they seemed not to care. Finally had to shut the durn thing down. Jeesh - I'm already doing laundry for one 27 year old - if I'd wanted more than one kid, I'd have had more than one! No offense intended to any 30 somethings out there, but as for me, *if* I was going to have a relationship, I would want it to be w/ someone who remembered the things I remember - like Woodstock and man walking on the moon - and hasn't just read about them in history class.

Oh, and lately I've been letting my hair grow, and I'm tentatively planning a trip to Maine in the spring w/ my cousin & her husband. :o) Does that about cover it? Well, anyway, it's been pleasant reading for a Friday evening! :o)

Annie


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 26 Oct 03 - 03:44 PM

Raedwulf - Like Jeanie the only time I lied about my age was when I was fourteen and trying to get into an X-rated movie. I agree - honesty has to be paramount - otherwise there's a lot of difficult explaining to do. If I'm not wanted for what I am then I'm probably best off staying on my own. Unfortunately too many people, male and female, don't seem to have reached that conclusion, as a friend of mine who was on a dating site found out. She met some real horrors.

But the age thing does tend to be a male thing - so many of the dating sites and lonely hearts ads confirm it -check them out.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 10:20 AM

would anyone like this refreshed?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: mg
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 12:29 PM

yes..did our friend ever meet anyone special? mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 01:26 PM

Jacqui goes to Xrated movies?

Brian.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 01:37 PM

anyways, enough of that little thought on my mind... I am 35, and haven't been that scared off due to numbers, regarding a woman's age. I am single, and until I find someone I am looking to establish a relationship with (and hopefully she with me!), I will continue to date a variety of gals here in New Brunswick, Canada... in other words, a few weeks ago I went out with a lady who was 42 and this weekend I have a date lined up with someone who is 24. What this all comes down to is that age is a number which is a guideline and not an ends nor a means in itself. It does give an indicator on maturity, on common interests (music, books, etc), and if you have to worry about trying to sneak the lady into the bar... but I digress.

Guys and Gals: Honesty is the best policy, both to others and to yourselves... it is a lot easier to keep things going well when you don't have to make reparations for the "little white lies" along the way.

Done fer now,
Brian.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 08:13 PM

I'll tell you why men like younger women. It's really simple. Too many women go through menopause and lose their sex drive, while a man the same age, or older is still active.Now I know there are exceptions, I'm talking about personal experience, so don't argue with that. Before you freak out ladies, realize that I have dated more women than you have.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 05:17 AM

Yahoo - ever heard of HRT? For a lot of the women I talk to it seems to have a similar effect to Viagra. Maybe the apparent lack of sex drive comes down to the fact that that seems to be the prime reason for a relationship in the minds of a minority of men and that can really turn a woman off. there is also a higher level of impotence in men over fifty so both sexes are taking what they may see as a risk. I suppose it really depends what you want from a relationship. For me I would place more value on the emotional content than the physical, although if you can get both in one package then you really have hit the jackpot. Maybe THATS more of a female thing - and I've probably talked to more females than you have about that one!

I asked a male friend why this insistence on younger women and he came out with "why have a prune when you can have a plum" which at least was honest. The fact that prunes, on the whole are sweeter and better for you obviously hadn't occurred to him.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 07:48 PM

I would agree that the emotional bond is more important, but the physical drive can not be denied. Sure, you can tie the safty valve down on a boiler, and get away with it...for a while. Then, sooner or later, Mount Vesuvius.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 08:00 PM

If Catspaw were around, Kendall...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: momnopp
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 01:13 AM

I, too have been intrigued by this thread (yeah, I know, some of you will not find this surprising...)

I fully expect that I will find and/or be found by a wonderful partner. I'm 40, mom to a most amazing 14 year-old son, cute as a button, and modest to boot! LOL I live in America just outside of Washington, DC.

I find that because I have had a tendency to dive headlong into a relationship (I'm doing my best to rid myself of this particular addiction) that I tend to burn through from one side of a relationship to the other in very short order. It also means I have a tendency to crash hard.

BUT I usually get back up, dust myself off and look at what I've learned from the experience. I always extract something good out of every situation, no matter how miserable. In fact, sometimes the more onerous the situation (shall I start a thread about people discovering their spouse is gay?) the more I am forced to learn and grow.

In recent years I've made friends with more than a couple of people who are avid fans of folk music and who are coupled with someone who does not share their enthusiasm. I've decided that if there are two things I absolutely must share with my future loving partner, they are a deep, abiding love of both music and people.

That being said, I love Kendall's "formula" for assessing the suitability of a prospective partner. Sounds like a perfectly good set of criteria to me!

I've met many people through various forms of "personals" -- and one does learn to translate what people say. How they say it, the care taken to spell things correctly (or not), the choice of subject matter -- all convey messages.

I'd like to think of myself as "non-judgemental" but it's simply not true. We all have our filters, we all categorize everything all the time, otherwise we'd never be able to get out of bed in the morning. The stimuli would overwhelm us regularly. But I think I've modified which criteria I need to pay attention to in order to narrow down the options. There are preferences and there are "must haves" and "can't stands". I think it's important for each of us to know which are which for ourselves.

And honesty remains the "best policy". As mentioned above, no honesty, no trust, no foundation for future trust. Men seem to be more likely to lie about their NAMES in my experience. This is a deal-breaker for me.

Anyway, it's waaayyyyy too late to be up writing theses on dating or whatever one wants to call it. Thanks for the opportunity once again to share my views and opinions on a miscellaneous topic of much interest.

{{{{{{{{{{{MUDCATTERS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I still say we should have a Mudcat dating service...

Peace,

JudyO


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 08:10 AM

Now Jeri, don't be modest, you can handle this...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 09:44 AM

Trying my hand at Haiku:

Once sure, now I hear
The sound of straight lines, dropping
Which path do I choose?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 09:10 PM

YOU ARE SO SHARP!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,boocat
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:56 AM

I wish to meet twin foxy ladies (early to mid forties) to help me through my latest mid-life crisis.

boocat


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 10:51 AM

Single, white, female, 56, well endowed (read goddess), looking for single banjo player willing to join same. Owns own home and four cats.


From: CY:
Too many women go through menopause and lose their sex drive, while a man the same age, or older is still active.Now I know there are exceptions, I'm talking about personal experience, so don't argue with that.

I am not surprised that this is you personal experience. And I strongly suspect that an equal percentage of young females lose their sex drive when introduced to your warped thought process.
SINS, menopausal and active.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 12:12 PM

You are too young to know from experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 12:20 PM

CY said "...too many women." he/she didn't say ALL women.

"If you throw a stone into a pack of dogs, only the one it hits will yelp." (Confucius)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 10:21 AM

Thank you, Kendall,... I think.

GUEST - is the "dog" reference another shot at post-menopausal women?

SINS, who apologizes for her PMS and now will go back to playing nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 10:48 AM

My guess is it's just an expression and the use of the word 'dog' is irrelevant. If one mistakes a snarl for a yelp, one can wind up finding teeth in one's ass.

One also starts to wonder if saying women aren't interested in sleeping with them because they're post-menopausal is the geriatric version of "if she doesn't want ME, she must be a lesbian." The post-menopausal thing is true in some cases, I think. In others, a woman who's sufficiently interested would, I'd think, at least want to want to. If the relationship is such that you can't both at least talk about it, it's not a very good one anyway.

I've known (no, I didn't mean "known") lots (ok, what I really didn't mean was "lots") of guys who went for the sex first, and then waited to see if an emotional relationship grew out of it. This might work if you're 20-something, but it might not be very successful in beginning a relationship with those of us who're economizing on hormones. It might not work anyway. It might help to change one's approach, but it's very hard for an old dog (didn't mean anything derogatory by that) new tricks.

Haha! Listen to me...single, and as far out of the dating loop as I can get without falling off the edge of the planet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 04:37 PM

Sin - I'm with you - same age, single - no cats. I would say that CY's atitude to relationships probably would turn a lot of women off. I can't think of many women of my acquaintance who would want to be thought of as primarily available for the sexual gratification of her partner - been there and didn't like it.

Making love is the closest one person will ever get, physically, to another. I just think that you need to be pretty close, emotionally, to another person to really make that work. And, Kendall - I understand what you're saying about volcanoes - I agree, but there's more than one way to skin a cat if, for any reason the normal avenues aren't available and I can think of a couple of my friends in relationships who, for one reason or another, can't have intercourse but who do manage to have satisfying sex lives.

I would love to find the guy that I could really feel happy spending the rest of my life with, and yes, I miss a physical relationship, but so far it hasn't happened and I have to accept that the likelihood probably reduces as I get older. But I ain't going to pretend to be something I'm not just for company.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 06:50 PM

I hear a lot of talk about "relationships". Given the fact that I already have lively ongoing relationships with the Earth, Nature, and the many other living things around me...plants, animals, people, and so on...why should I obsess about whether or not I have a specific female sexual companion at any particular time?

Of course, I didn't feel that way at age 22! At that point, it was the main thing on my mind. Things change.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 07:26 PM

And yeah, making love is about the most personal thing that you can possibly do with another person. Which is why it's not something to take lightly. Most women know that. A lot of men don't.

If you have two people who are both okay about taking it lightly, though, that's okay with me...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 08:04 PM

I can't speak for all women, or most women, or even many women, but I have heard a few women admit that after becoming mothers and/or going through the change, they lost all interest in sex. and it had nothing to do with their partners. (Women tell me the damdest things!)

Also, men are not immune to this decrease; when I was young, I thought about sex all the time. Now, I only think of it when I'm awake.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Awright, kendall! Best laugh I've had tonight. No wet dreams anymore, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Katemaryrose
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 08:30 PM

Well, Little Hawk, I think you are very mature and independant, but as well as having the earth and the beauty of nature as your companion, would not a good woman at your side.........one with whom you can share your wisdom...one with whom you can chew the cud or sift the chaff from the grain.....would you not enjoy the rest of your life with such a companion when going in to your old age?
Just wondering!
It as quite a different story at 22 for sure!
KMR


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 08:46 PM

Well, perhaps, KMR. It could be great if it was the right person. I'm open to the possibility, I'm just not looking, that's all. I do think it somewhat unlikely at this point that I'd want to spend the whole rest of my life with one other person, but you never know...

What I really enjoy in life is having a lot of dear friends whom I really love, and still living as a single person at the same time.   Suits me better than the "two birds in a nest" routine, I guess.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 03:55 PM

A friend of mine told me that his ideal relationship would be for both parties to have their own home but to be able to spend time together. I must admit that this particular guy, having come through a rather gruesome relationship seems to be in no hurry to think about commitment but I can see some sense in what he's saying. The idea of having a close relationship with someone you really care for but having a bolt hole to go back to for a little space from time to time is very appealing - so long as both of you want the same thing. The strength of the feeling I suppose would show in the degree to which each partner needed that bolt hole.

I think the majority of human beings want that intimacy that comes with a good physical relationship - enjoying life together, laughing and even crying together, knowing, if you wake during the night that that person is there. I have a number of good friends but there is only so far that good friends can go - the relationship of lovers is completely different.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 04:12 PM

Yep. It's more intense and more exclusive. It's the exclusivity that can become a problem sometimes (and I'm not talking about sex, but about available energy and attention).

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 05:58 PM

Think about what Kendall?

"he's got no falorum"


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 07:21 PM

I am always wanting to meet people, especially to play music with. Especially multi-instrumentalists. But the phrase "meet people" is so overloaded with sexual inneuendo that I no longer want to "meet people"....

As for things other than music, at my age, and with my past experiences, I prefer to sit quietly in the corner and wait until I see some lady that expresses some subtle interest in me. Dumb Blondes need not apply. Of course, many blondes are only acting dumb, either in self defence, or because they believe "Bokndes Have More Fun!"

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:39 AM

Foolestruope - What about if the lady's shy or was brought up to believe that a woman doesn't make the first move? How do you recognise 'subtle interest'? I know what you mean though - there almost seems to be an expectation that any friendship between a man and a woman has to be cemented as early as possible with sex. WHY? Can't adults get the idea of moving through friendship to something more?

LH - I agree with you about the exclusivity - my ex wanted that and in the nineteen years that we were together I can count the friends we made on the fingers of one hand. We very rarely got involved in anything with other people - we were this tight little unit. Since splitting up I've made a number of good friends, got involved in the music and in some voluntary work and made a life for myself. Any future involvement would have to have at least the music in common.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 05:28 AM

jacqui - guys can be shy too...

one thing I have noticed is that often if I back off even just a little from a woman who IS interested in "getting on down it" then suddenly, _I_ am the worst sort of scum that turns a lady down - what ever happened to friendship? - so I am even more cautious these days.

total exclusivity === control freak!!! Warning! Warning!

And I no longer even am interested in putting the effort in trying to know more about most women I meet if there is NO interest in performing an instrument --- behave yourselves!

subtle interest - now do you think I am going to give away for nothing all of the things I have learned the hard way?

Look for my forthcoming book:

"Everything I have learnt about Women" 5 pages, Price 50 cents...

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:14 AM

5 pages! You MUST be an expert!

I'm sorry if some of my sex behave in such a way. I know from experience that it can be difficult to have feelings for a guy that aren't returned and to try and maintain a friendship. I suppose that the aggresive attitude is really a defence against hurt feelings - even if there was no real reason to believe that there was a possibility of anything further. Sometimes both men and women read into perfectly innocent attitudes something more - because we so want it to be more.

As for control freaks - tell me about it! Male or female they're real trouble - and it starts from the first time that they 'suggest' that you might change something about yourself. I have a friend who is going into a new relationship and the bluebirds are tweetering around her head. From the outside I can see that this man is going to take her over (and no, it's not jealousy on my part - he's already suggesting that she buys new, sexier underwear and persuaded her to drink beer, which he likes, rather than wine, which she likes) but I can't say anything for fear of upsetting a now rather delicate friendship because he is starting to go toward exclusivity.

I can't say that I'm an expert on men - if I was I probably a) would be in a good relationship now or b)would be steering extremely clear of rather than looking for one. Reading some of the threads (especially this one) gives a little bit of an insight into attitudes and motives but it's so difficult, when somple friendships with the opposite sex seem to be a minefield, to really get a handle on their behaviour. Maybe that's a good thing!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:20 AM

Learn to read body language. IT doesn't lie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,hotoy
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:28 AM

Since so many women (especially you older ones) seem to be desperate to be loved by a man why do you refuse to put out da nookie when we ask for it politely? Carseats and truck beds are good enough for us guys...why not you? Remember (in the words of the king) if you don't, your sister will! Soooooooooooo, wise up ladies and be prepared to lose the laundry wherever you happen to be when the mood strikes.

Albus


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,plusmama
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 01:43 PM

I am an "older" mama and am plus sized. So come on boys, if I can find a siazble man to stuff this quim...the back seat it is (or a truck bed) or a barn loft or even a table or a bed!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:09 PM

Perhaps threads like this are a good reason to ban postings by people without cookies...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,DeGaul
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM

I am an older frenchman (78) and would like to meet 2 twenty year olds to revitalize me...or perhaps I am not wired for 220.

Charles


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM

Well, at least he's honest.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:21 PM

If he's a 78, then playback at 45 or 33 would last longer... :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:19 AM

Yes, but would he play on a modern machine?


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,DeGaul
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM

Only if the modern machine is "slick" enough my needle! Older women are not really suitable. They tend to be less agile (they can't lock their heels behind their necks) and they also tend to be, my my how can we put this gently, a bit "loose" (Carmen Electra had HERS tightened up a stitch or two, for goodness sakes) and, alas, just a mite on the dry side.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM

This thread has gone far enough


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:11 PM

It's the obsession about being long enough to go far enough that is responsible for so much ridiculous spam.

Haven't people realised that the biggest turn on for some other people is a sense of the ridiculous?

GSOH would probably suffice.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 09:08 PM

That reminds me - has anybody got the words and chords for

"Long Playing Daddy" - please put them in a new thread...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 08:48 AM

Perhaps we need a little remender as to why I posted this thread...

There are some folkies out there who have had some bad luck, or even no luck at all. They've tried many ways to meet someone with no success and are a tad lonely. Some of us are loud and confident and manage to get what we want. Others aren't quite so...

Sal


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:35 AM

So - I'm looking - haven't had a lot of luck recently and don't seem to get to places where I meet new (and single) guys either. I'm on profiles with a photo. I'm a regular at the Hertford Club singalong on a Monday night.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:32 PM

Met someone I really like, he makes me laugh,has a brain, likes folk music. Fancies my mate. Oh well....here we go again


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:08 AM

Had the same problem - but he just didn't fancy me. Keep trying.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:09 AM

And you think only ladies have those problems? even including the "already has another woman" one... :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:26 PM

Why is it so difficult? But like Jaquci C said, keep trying. So if I just bide my time. Course I could come out and just tell him, to be told the infamous "I like you but just as a friend" line.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM

Just had a phone call from a friend. She heard on the news about a traffic accident in my suburb, in a street that runs right near my place - so phoned to see if I was still alive.

That's a friend. Want more of those....

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 03:45 AM

Its been a very stressful week and the straw that broke the camels back was hearing about the death of a friends husband. A friend is someone who drives you home, miles out of their way because you're too upset to cope with the practicalities and manages to make you smile on the way. It then turned surreal as we had an extra 20 miles diversion because of a car accident on the main road.
Like Foolstroupe said, we all need more friends like these.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: GUEST,bclitton
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 04:20 PM

Communication is the key for meeting potential mates and for maintaining relationships. My wife and I even talk while we having sex. Just last night she called me from the Marriot...

Slick


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 06:51 PM

Really? The Marriot? Is your wife's name Rachel?

(just kidding!)

I met someone today who just about blew all my circuits and assumptions right out of the water, but I'm maintaining my equilibrium...I think...whew!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui c
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 05:23 PM

I've got the friends, who are great. One of them is even going to put me up for a week when I have to have a foot operation. but there's still an empty space sometimes that even the closest friends can't fill and that comes from not having the wonderful emotional and physical contact that comes with love. I think that LH will know what I'm talking about - you can be as resistant to a new relationship as you want but when it hits there ain't much you can do!


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 05:28 PM

Somehow this thread makes me think of Maine. :)

(Happy endings are nice.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 08:19 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 08:20 PM

I think this was one of the more touching, endearing and honest threads I've read on the Cat.

Yes, Maine is about right...


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 08:22 PM

Awwww; just moments ago I wished Jacqui a belated happy b'day, and then I found this and jumped to Ebbies new entry. Wut a smiler.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 09:03 PM

Life is amazing sometimes. And beautiful.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: curmudgeon
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 09:31 PM

Ebbie - You have exposed the Mudcat for what it really is.

Usually, the resurrection of an old thread has a link to a porn pimp.

But now, you have unveiled the origins of a courtship which has led to the "marriage of true minds."

Thanks - Tom


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: kendall
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 09:32 PM

Men and women are hard wired differently. Adjust.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 09:40 PM

Kendall, huh?

I wonder if the original subject had any luck. A lot of connections have been made because of Mudcat. Some work, although not always in the way you expect, and some just don't. The ones that do are uplifting for everybody involved.


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 07:46 AM

I'd forgotten this thread. It's made me smile reading through it. Who would have thought, then.................


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 10:32 AM

I went looking for it, Jacqui, because of what Kendall said yesterday (?) on another thread, something to the effect that 'Jacqui said something intelligent and he wrote in response' and that's where it all began.

And you are right: it's made me smile too.

{{{{Jacqui and Kendall}}}}


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Subject: RE: BS: Want to meet someone?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 01:03 AM

I really enjoyed rereading this thread also. There was an unspoken subtext, of sorts, people getting to know each other on the side, though we don't know about the original lonely heart. Didn't AllanC also marry since this started?

SRS


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