Lyr Req: What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster

Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER (Bygraves)`
From: GUEST,Just Visiting
Date: 17 Apr 17 - 04:47 PM

Could the song you remember be this one? It's from the album:
Songs For The Young In Heart, by the late-great Max Bygraves.


WHAT NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER
Written by Romaine
As recorded by Max Bygraves, 1960.

CHORUS: What noise annoys an oyster? Oh, tell me, tell me do.
What noise annoys an oyster and gets him in a stew?
Well out of all the noises upon the sea or coast,
I'll tell you boys, a noisy noise annoys an oyster most!"

1. I know a great professor named professor Twinkledee.
He's working out a problem that's a great big mystery.
Wherever he may go,
He paces to and fro,
And says: "I've got a puzzle and it makes me worry so." CHORUS

2. A certain politician got upon his legs to speak.
He said: "As it's election time, the drinks are all on me."
To put you at your ease,
Ask me a question, please."
And a man said: "Answer this one; it really is a tease:" CHORUS

3. A battle was a-raging on the cold and stormy sea.
The admiral cried: "We've won, boys!" and he signaled victory.
Then dear old Captain Bligh,
With glass up to his eye,
Read this dramatic signal that came back in reply:" CHORUS

[Discographical information from: http://www.45cat.com/record/dfea7510]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,#
Date: 11 Jul 15 - 12:48 PM

Frank Crumit: What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: stevewise
Date: 10 Jul 15 - 04:35 PM

My friend Jolly Jock - of Biggles Wartime Band - sings this. I found myself bursting into the chorus the other day and realised I didn't know where it came from. Thank you so much for the link to the Weston and lee sheet music - this is exactly what Jock sings

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,stephen
Date: 17 Dec 11 - 11:51 PM

Try this:

What noise annoys an oyster, O tell me, tell me do!
What noise annoys an oyster and gets him in a stew?
Well out of all the noises along the sea or coast,
I'll tell you, boys,
A noisy noise
Annoys an oyster most.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: clueless don
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 08:55 AM

Nothing much to add, except that I heard the chorus of "A Noise Annoys and Oyster" on the old "My Music" BBC quiz show, sung by Frank Muir (may he rest in peace.)

Don

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: semi-submersible
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 02:31 AM

Wonder if she'll ever find out her question was answered here? But anyway I'm grateful I found it.

When we kids were racketing around the house, Mom would sometimes mention to Dad that in her next life she planned to be an oyster, to have some peace and quiet.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 07:06 PM

And it's only taken six and a half years to connect Crystal with the person she probably first heard sing it.... during which time I've certainly heard Tony and Lesley (Cap'n Ella) sing it too!

Kitty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Noise Annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,Chris Pitt
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 12:02 PM

In answer to Kitty's comment, I certainly have sung "A Noise annoys an Oyster" at Towersey, so it was probably me that Crystal heard. The version I sing is the Weston and Lee version to which Jim Dixon has supplied the lyrics. I've been singing it for more than twenty years, solo and with Gavin Atkin, and we found it in a bogstandard book of music-hall songs.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: Barbara
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 07:25 PM

Well, Bozo, Dr. Seuss is a great writer and I love him, and Gerald, however the song "A Noise Annoys an Oyster (but A Noisy Noise Annoys an Oyster More)" was written in 1921, so I think it probably came first.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,Bozo the Clown
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 04:28 PM

The phrase, "A Noisy Noise Annoys An Oyster" should be credited to Dr Seuss, the famous expert on rhymes, who wrote the first Gerald McBoing Boing cartoon in the 50s. In the episode entitled "How Now Boing Boing" the phrase, "A noisy noise annoys an oyster" is written on a wall. The wordplay is typical Seuss: A noise-y noise a-noise a-noise-ster!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,Dave Spence
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 06:12 AM

What noise annoys an oyster
oh tell me tell me do
what noise annoys an oyster
oh tell me tell me true
what noise annoys an oyster
a living at the coast.
I'll tell you boys, a noisy noise
annoys an oyster most!

This is a version which I heard

Subject: Lyr Add: A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER (Weston, Lee)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 06 - 09:09 AM

I don't know about Weston, but Wikipedia says Bert Lee was born and died in London.

Here's my transcription from the sheet music at The National Library of Australia:

A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER
R. P. Weston and Bert Lee, 1921.

1. I was standing in a fish shop. I'd an hour or two to wait,
For the gentleman that kept the shop was filleting a skate,
So I sang a little chorus just to pass the time away.
Then a big fat oyster growl'd at me and leap'd out of the tray.
He bit a lobster's leg off and the fishman was so wild.
He shouted, "Stop that singing! Didn't you learn as a child?

CHORUS: "A noise annoys an oyster,
But a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.
When the west wind whistles through the whiskers of a shrimp,
The poor old oyster feels a trifle limp.
He'll murder mussels if the seaweed rustles,
Or a cockle croaks a chorus on the shore;
For a noise annoys an oyster,
But a noisy noise annoys an oyster more."

2. I was cross with that young oyster, very, very cross indeed,
So when he'd his shell wide open, being of the bulldog breed,
I scoop'd him out and swallowed him, and said, "Well, there, old thing,
That'll stop you biting lobsters just because I care to sing,"
But when in my interior, he tried to loop the loop.
I shouted to a man near me, "Don't gargle with your soup!

3. It was on a British warship back in nineteen-seventeen,
And our gallant lads beneath them saw a great big submarine.
The captain shouted, "Grab your bombs and drop 'em fore and aft!"
But from below the U-boat quickly wireless telegraph'd:
"We'll willingly surrender. Please don't drop your bombs," they said.
"They'd make a fearful noise and we're upon an oyster bed.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 31 May 06 - 05:41 PM

Surely it must be on one of Capella's CDs?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: Barbara
Date: 31 May 06 - 04:22 PM

Let me try this again.
By following the link that CeltArctic posted above I found
there are apparently two separate songs on this.
The other is called "A Noise Annoys an Oyster" and was written in
1921 by two Aussie chaps called R.P. Weston and Bert Lee.

The chorus goes:
A noise annoys an oyster,
But a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.
When the west wind whistles through the whiskers of a shrimp.
The poor old oyster feels a trifle limp
He'll murder mussles if the seaweed rustles,
Or a cockle croaks a chorus on the shore
For a noise annoys an oyster,
But a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.

Give me a bit and I'll post the tune.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 May 06 - 06:13 AM

Oooooo, you're so Saucy...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: Artful Codger
Date: 30 May 06 - 03:52 AM

I'd bet they'd clam up their ears at Phish.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 May 06 - 06:52 PM

Ohhhhh, that misght get a bit sticky, Peace...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: Peace
Date: 29 May 06 - 06:18 PM

"What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?"

Beats me. However, I wonder if the like the music of Pearl Jam?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What Kind of Noise Annoys an Oyster?
From: CeltArctic
Date: 29 May 06 - 12:42 PM

I did a Google search on these lyrics, because I was also looking for them. I found a nifty website where you can view the original printed music sheets online and save them as PDF files. The website is: National Library of Australia

Moira Cameron

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: Greycap
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 10:21 AM

I've got it by Frank Crumit on an LP ( vinyl, remember them? ), if anyone needs a cassette, just personal message me,

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 09:12 AM

Music hall sounds like a good bet - Colin & Una Waters do quite a lot of excellent stuff in that style.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,Crystal
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 09:05 AM

I've heard that one but it isn't the one I was thinking of the tune is totally different. I thought it might be a Les Barker one but I've never found it on an album.
It could well be a music hall song.
I guess I'll just keep looking!

Subject: Chords Add: WHAT KIND OF A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER?
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 10:40 PM

Here are the chords from Frank Crumit's songbook:
"Frank Crumit's Book of Favorite Songs"

JAB

  WHAT KIND OF A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER? 
  by Crumit & Curtis
  as sung by Frank Crumit. 
  
  From "Frank Crumit's Book of Favorite Songs"
  
  
  F             Cdim C7           F               C7  F
  Lots of folks are  worried over how they'll pay the rent.
                 Cdim C7                 F
  Some folks are an-  noyed because they can't lay up a cent.
  C7         Bb          C7       F   Fdim F   C7   F
  Others are perplexed a-bout the lat-est  pic-ture show.
      Dm    A  F      G7                  C7 Cdim  C7
  But there is really just one thing that I  would like to know.
  
  Chorus:
  F                              G7
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  G7+ C7
  No  matter what I do
      F  C+   F     C7   F
  The an-swer won't come true.
                              Cdim C   Am
  What kind of a noise annoys an   oys-ter?
  Gdim     G7                              C
  That's a question I would like an answer to.
    Bb              F               C7                 F
  A little piece of cheese annoys a mouse, there is no doubt.
      Bb                             F      G7             C7
  But here's the one thing I've been trying hard to figure out:
  F                              G7
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
          C7            F        C7
  When an oyster's in a stew?
  
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  I asked them at the zoo.
  They said they wish they knew.
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  That's a question I would like an answer to.
  A piece of cheese annoys a mouse
  The mouse annoys in turn
  The cat who then annoys the dog
  But still I cannot learn
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
  When an oyster's in a stew.
  
  Oysters live a life within a very narrow scope.
  One thing I've found out is that an oyster don't like soap.
  I'll admit the problem's been a sticker from the go.
  I've asked most everyone I've met, and no one seems to know
  
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster.
  I've figured till I'm blue,
  So now I'm asking you.
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  That's a question I would like an answer to.
  The piece of cheese annoys the mouse
  The mouse annoys the cat
  The cat annoys the dog
  The dog annoys your Sunday hat.
  But, what kind of a noise annoys an oyster
  When an oyster's in a stew. 
  
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  I've asked each one I knew
  From here to Kalamazoo.
  What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
  That's a question I would like an answer to.
  Now, simple things annoy a lot of simple folks, you see.
  And that's most likely why this question is annoying me.
  But, What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
  When an oyster's in a stew?
  

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,p[dq
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 09:44 PM

Please note the general dicussion of Frank Crumit:   


http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=62865&messages=10

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: vectis
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 07:02 PM

Capella sing a different version of this.
Their chorus goes
"for a noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 03:29 AM

This was a big hit in the 50/60's in Oz

Wasn't it Lonnie Donnergan?

Robin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: reggie miles
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 12:21 AM

Sorcha,

I've got to learn this one! I've got a lot of Frank Crumit on 78rpm but I don't believe I have this one. Thanks for posting it. I'll poke around and try to find the tune, but if you've got a line on an online location of a sound file, it would be very much appreciated.

Is there anything the Mudcat can't provide? Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: Barbara
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 08:27 PM

Any chance of a tune, please?
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 07:48 PM

Thanks Sorcha.

Colin Waters from Readifolk sings it, and I think Chris Pitt does too, so might have been responsible for the version heard at Towersey.

Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT KIND OF A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER?`
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 11:32 AM

This the one?


WHAT KIND OF A NOISE ANNOYS AN OYSTER?
Words by Billy Curtis, music by Frank Crumit
As recorded by Frank Crumit, 1930.

Lots of folks are worried over how they'll pay the rent.
Some folks are annoyed because they can't lay up a cent.
Others are perplexed about the latest picture show.
But there is really only just one thing I'd like to know.

What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
No matter what I do
The answer won't come through.
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
That's a question I would like an answer to.
A little piece of cheese annoys a mouse, there is no doubt.
But here's the one thing I've been trying hard to figure out:
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
When an oyster's in a stew?

What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
I asked them at the zoo.
They said they wish they knew.
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
That's a question I would like an answer to.
A piece of cheese annoys a mouse; the mouse annoys in turn
The cat who then annoys the dog, but still I cannot learn
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
When an oyster's in a stew.

Oysters live a life within a very narrow scope.
One thing I've found out is that an oyster don't like soap.
I'll admit the problem's been a sticker from the go.
I've asked most everyone I've met, and no one seems to know

What kind of a noise annoys an oyster.
I've figured till I'm blue,
So now I'm asking you.
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
That's a question I would like an answer to.
The piece of cheese annoys the mouse; the mouse annoys the cat
The cat annoys the dog; the dog annoys your Sunday hat.
But, what kind of a noise annoys an oyster
When an oyster's in a stew?

What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
I've asked each one I knew
From here to Kalamazoo.
What kind of a noise annoys an oyster?
That's a question I would like an answer to.
Now, simple things annoy a lot of simple folks, you see.
And that's most likely why this question is annoying me.
But, What kind of a noise annoys an oyster
When an oyster's in a stew?


From: http://www.geocities.com/Cag03/NovWKOyst.html
Also, previous thread

Subject: Lyr Req: A noise annoys an Oyster
From: GUEST,Crystal
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 11:22 AM

I've been looking for this song for years and have never been able to find it!

I heard it at Towersy in (I think) 1996. Possibly in the Village hall, but I've got no idea who sung it.
the chorus went;

Oh a Noise annoys an oyster,
but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more,
when the west wind whistles through the whiskers of a shrimp,
the poor old oyster feels a trifle limp,
He'll murder mussles if the seaweed rustles,
or the cockel sings a chorus on the shore,
oh a noise annoys an oyster,
but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.