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Subject: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 09 Oct 03 - 11:32 PM What A Friend We Have In Johnny. (Part I) (© Robin Hayes 2003)(All Rights Reserved) What a friend we have in Johnny, Now the drought has made the land so bare, Flooding monsoon rains, and raging bushfires, He will comfort us by "being there". Your Council rates increase, and are forcibly collected, And you're made redundant by your boss: Remember by whom Johnny was elected, Do I suspect the double cross? Johnny will never be redundant, Unlike maybe you or me. Melba toast and caviar; his pension, Certainly - unlike you and me. Unfair taxes and welfare freezes, Worry not; we'll all just keep calm. Our grandparents, they ate bread and dripping: 'Gainst the breezes, Salvo blankets kept them warm. When your tummy starts to rumble, And your bum begins to freeze; Remember, Johnny loves the poor and humble, He will keep them on their knees. Shut yer gob, He'll do just what you're dreadin', Disagree? Nowadays, He calls that treason: See how the corporate frauds are spreadin', So He calls "The Yellow Peril" - "Terrorism" this season. We are long term unemployed mature age workers, Retraining costs too much to waste on us. Kirribilli neeeds new cups and saucers, I'll loan him my cracked ones, what's the fuss? We are trying hard to live on meager pensions, We trust in Johnny's "Amazing Grace". Bob "The Worker's Friend", now he was honest, Called us "Silly Old Bugger"s to our face. Beguile us with a smile so bonny, Say "I'm only doin' me job". Perhaps you're you're out of touch, Dear Johnny, When the silent majority becomes the mob. Words and Original Tune © Robin Hayes 2003 - All Rights Reserved #Satire #Politics #Australia |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 09 Oct 03 - 11:33 PM What A Friend We Have In Johnny. (Part II) (© Robin Hayes 2003)(All Rights Reserved) We can tell our Johnny is a Politician, Fancy house and cars and such. We can tell he is a Politician, But we cannot tell him very much! Johnny Boy, the Right, the Right is calling, US First!, they cry they're in the Right. Where never have I heard, logic more absurd, But keep the oil rigs pumping day and night. Seemed a harmless bugger when first we met him, Speeches not the brightest, what's he want to hide? Now drunk with power, leading us into the US bower, Speeches plagarised both far and wide. The World's Deputy Sheriff, don't need no Republic, While He's got ol' Uncle Sam for His Queen. When did we become, US State fifty-one? That's the only way it can be seen. Cast your faith upon the water, The price of bread goes up and up. Farmers get paid less and less each quarter, The Salvos have run out of soup for my cup. No child to live in poverty, a child I ain't, Centerlink keeps us scared and stupid, still give Him all our votes. We're told that poverty's mostly in the mind, When we're scared blind, he's got us by the scrotes. Politics bores us little people, It's lost both its logic and its wit. Arguments are now so entangled, That we just can't tell it from sh, sh, sh-a-aving cream, Be nice and clean, Shave every day and you'll never look mean. Dirty politicians, need any more be said? Never vote the bastards out, know who runs the game? Fingers in the tills; skulls must be of lead. And yet we always trust them just the same! All groups are divided in factions, Each one thinks that only they are in the right. They can not listen, only keep on talking, Until it all dissolves in a fight. Sweet polite persuasion brings little relief, When you've enough, and fear you'll grow unhinged; Yielders to Reason don't cause us so much grief, Goodbye Mr. Nice Guy, go and get revenged! No one ever questioned where we're going? One Chipshop Lady wailed "Please Explain!", He laughed her off, acted such a toff, But really, He's just a pain!" Remember the polls, usually November, We little people have so little choice. Our Navigator's blind, makes us a bumpy ride, All little people, who's speaking with our voice? Words and Original Tune © Robin Hayes 2003 - All Rights Reserved #Satire #Politics #Australia |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 09 Oct 03 - 11:37 PM You can get a workable tune by faking it to "What a Friend we have in.." Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 10 Oct 03 - 09:40 PM Rubber Johnny? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Oct 03 - 10:14 PM Australian PM. Who is "Rubber Johnny"? Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Walrus Date: 11 Oct 03 - 08:14 AM Robin, Not so much who as what. I can't speak for McGrath of Harlow, but whan I was at school, "Rubber Johnny" was the accepted term for condom. Walrus |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: Joybell Date: 11 Oct 03 - 08:39 AM Wish our leader was as useful! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 12 Oct 03 - 11:00 PM Yes, Joybell... :-) I've still got the three little plastic squeeky animal chew-toys from the other election which came in the three major leaders heads, Sneaky Johnny, what's-his-name from the Labour Party (oh how quickly we forget!) and Pauline. Been looking for one of those very small round parrot toy cages you can sometimes get in the el-cheapo places to put her in... :-) Been thinking of doing a song along the lines of "Bird in a gilded cage" ... :-) I hope the chew toys come back for next election ... :-) Perhaps our US friends might do their own... :-) Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: Joybell Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:21 AM Robin I just saw those little gilded cages at our local cheapy store (Ha! unintended pun - but not bad) The store is called "Trev's Emporium" I love it! Anyway I don't suppose you are coming to the Maldon Folk Festival? I could bring one along for you. Joy |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:33 AM I'm sorry.. I can't afford to travel far from Brisbane. I'm one of the mature age long term unemployed, and I've spent my savings. I've also been rather physically ill for most of this year and unable to work at all, even part time. I couldn't make it up to the recent Laidley event, as i couldn't manage to drive that far. And I was unhappy, since I had been looking forward to it since last year, and the Toowoomba Accordion Festival was cancelled this year too. And if I do manage to get 13 hours in one days counting cars for $10 an hour, "My Friend Johnny" - see the song! :-) takes half of it away BEFORE tax (no discounts for expenses in travelling to the job etc) - the liberals changed the rules after I became unemployed, and killed off "earnings bank" - so now if I earn more than $40 dollars a fortnight, they take (on a sliding scale) on average half of it away. And anyway while such fun purchases are good to amuse myself with in theory, in practice I can't afford too many luxuries like that... Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:54 AM When did John Major move Down Under? I see that Washington has got mixed up about which rubber Johnny it is Down Under. Mind you, Bush probably thinks Australia is that place where Arnold Schwarzenegger came from. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:32 PM Oh, I see, Rubber Johnny form Spitting Image - we do sometimes get British Comedy series out here. Not all of them. Thanks McGrath, I forwarded this to my Fooles List at Yahoo... :-) Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 28 May 04 - 01:07 AM For more of my songs go to The Foolestroupe Songbook Robin |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: JennyO Date: 28 May 04 - 07:30 AM Some of us call him Bonsai Johnny - a smaller version of the Shrub. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: What A Friend We Have In Johnny From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 28 May 04 - 08:05 AM I call him the Prime Minuscule cos folks in the Prime Minister's Dept call him that! |
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