Hrothgar in Hrospital

Subject: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: rich-joy
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 08:51 AM

News is at hand that Oz Mudcatter HROTHGAR is in hospital tonight after an accident whilst practising his mid-air circus skills at the same time as painting his home. He is believed to have cracked 5 ribs in the attempt and is at present banged-up in Prince Alfred Hospital, Brisbane.

Poor Misery and myself wish him a speedy recovery - esp. as it's less than 3 weeks to the next ABOFOTS!

Cheers, Mate!!
R-J

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:10 AM

I'll second that sentiment, R-J; and may I say we'l try not to make H laugh.

Seve

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:18 AM

Please let him know that there are better ways to paint those difficult, hard-to-reach areas of a house. If he'll pay my way there, I'll be glad to provide (oral) instruction.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:33 AM

Oh no! Please convey to him my prayers and wishes for a prompt and glorious recovery!

~S~

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:46 AM

Doesn't he have a ticket to the Rugby World Cup? - if so he'd better get well quickly.

sandra

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 02:13 PM

Oh, no, my ribs are quaking in sympathy. I do remember the persistent pain, and how it was NOT very entertaining to laugh or cough, or do any energetic hanky panky.

Hang in there!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 03:37 PM

I'd say "get crackin'" but I think it's too late!

Instead, a sincere wish for swift healing and the wisdom to forego such antics in the future.**bg**

kat

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: LadyJean
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 12:59 AM

There ought to be a law against feeding hospital food to sick people. I wish Hrothgar a speedy recovery, as does my good friend Frothgar, who is presently serving his country in Iraq.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 01:39 AM

LJ, wouldn't that be Hrathgar? Or, is that his brother?**bg**

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 02:44 AM

Paint-thinnner is not intended for drinking until after the job is done.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Helen
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 03:06 AM

Hrothgar,

So, no hanky-panky, eh? Well, that's good motivation to get well as soon as possible.

If you are a true Aussie, then it will only hurt when you laugh.

Helen

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Helen
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 03:07 AM

Shouldn't the title read Hrothgar in Hrothspital?

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: allanwill
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 03:26 AM

Hang in there, H.

Allan

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Shimbo Darktree
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 03:33 AM

Hey now, you people ... no more ribbing! Poor Hrothgar is a gentle soul, with a character not so stern...um ... he also enjoys puns, so it pain't nice to ladder man suffer like that.

Get well, Hrothgar ... I can't perform at my best without a professional heckler making humerus comments. It helps me tibia better singer!

All the best,
Shimbo

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Helen
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 04:41 AM

Quote from Hrothgar: LOL. Ouch!

Helen

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: GUEST,Tony in Darwin
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 08:22 AM

For Gawd's sake, stop laughing; this is serious!

Rugby's on the telly, Rog.

Tony

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 08:34 AM

But could he watch Rugby on TV quietly, Tony, or will he try to join in? If he's anything like the footy fanatics who are hanging around my neck of the woods at the moment, he would probably find it difficult to watch the game quietly.

how are you?

sandra

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Hrothgar
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 01:53 AM

Well, thanks, everybody. They let me out for good behaviour. I wish it could have been for bad behaviour.

The score is actually five broken ribs, three cracked vertebrae (only minor), and a little bleeding in one lung, plus a little bruising.

About half an hour before I left the hospital, while I was waiting for my brother-in-law to pick me up, Rich-joy and Paul dropped in an derived an immense amount of sadistic satisfaction from making me laugh. I'll get even.

Rapaire, if I could afford your fare, I'd be paying a bleedin' painter - but I'm the bleeding painter.

Yes, Sandra, I do have tickets to nearly all the World Cup games in Brisbane, and so far I have only had to give away the ones for tonight (USA V Fiji - could be a tremendous game, too). All those steps at Lang Park would be too much, even though I could use the lift to miss some. It was going to be very convenient, too, because the game is only about half a kilometre from the Kookaburra Folk Club, and I was planning to go from one to the other. I'll try to wake up at 11.00 pm tonight to catch the delayed highlights - I don't have FoxSports. Should be okay for Monday - USA v Scotland.

The really funny bit: I lay there half-stunned on the ground, gasping for air and checking that my feet could move, wondering if I could ever breathe again. I pulled myself slowly to my feet, and saw that the paintbrush I had been using was lying on the ground. It still had wet paint on it, and the most important thing I could think of was that I had to get that brush into some water (I'm using water based paint) or it would be ruined. So I painfully picked up the brush, and walked/staggered very slowly around and under the house to a tap so I could put the brush in some water.

Then I went and got the tin of paint I had been using, and carfully (and slowly) put the top back on it. THEN I went upstairs to have a rest. HOW FLAMIN' STUPID DOES A BLOKE HAVE TO BE?

The worst thing is that telling that makes me laugh again. Owwww...

The Princess Alexandra Hospital (Prince Alfred is in Sydney) food was actually pretty good, and the staff were wonderful. If I'd stayed in for another couple of days, I would have been spoiled rotten.

Peace, and thank you all for your good wishes.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:26 AM

Roger,

No tripping the light fantastic for a while eh? Never mind, a good Eightsome Reel will soon have you back in step......fix those ribs in no time.
Seriously, take care of yourself!
Cheers and hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Amergin
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 04:34 AM

so is this the latest joke thread?

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: kendall
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 05:18 AM

Whenever you see someone sick-a-bed, best way I know to get them back on their feet is to have a 5 year old read to them.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: allanwill
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 07:23 AM

Why does Hrothgar's last post remind me of the "Paddy's not at work today" song?

Allan

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 09:54 AM

Jaysus, Hrothgar! You remind me of my aunt when in her 80's, tripped and broke her shoulder, the whole enchilada. She dragged herself across the garage to a step up and the kitchen door, up and over the doorsill, then up to the counter where the phone was. She then proceeded to try reaching her daughter (not home), then granddaughter (not home), then finally the neighbour who was home and who THEN called an ambulance! So...if it makes you feel any better, it's not always just you "blokes.":-)

I am sorry this happened and I do hope you recover quickly and completely!

kat

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:11 AM

Relieved *whew!*

Story is a riot. I will point back to it many times in comcing years to try to get through to my husband! We need a thread of "Didn't think I really needed help" stories!

~Susan

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:22 AM

'No, Really, I'm Sure I'll Be Fine!'

~S~

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: LadyJean
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:11 PM

I slipped on the cement floor in my apartment building's basement. My left elbow hurt. I figured it was dislocated, so I tried to wiggle it back into place. I had, in fact, fractured it, bigtime, requiring surgery and nine lovely screws. (Yes I do set off metal detectors.) Also, a little nerve damage, caused, I suspect by my trying to relocate my "dislocated" elbow.
The food at Shadyside hospital was lousy. But they were the only place in town that got the SciFi channel, so all my friends came to see it, and incidentally me.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:48 PM

So sorry. My Dad is in the hospital too after failing to mention blood in his stools to a female doctor. ER when his blood count fell below 7. Now for the fun part. The doctor now knew that she had to ask specific questions since Dad will not volunteer information. He was asked about urination and if he had any burning in his penis. Well, Dad doesn't always turn on his hearing aid and responded "What?" My brother prompted "Your penis, Dad" To which the response was "I used to be 5' 11" but I've shrunk some. Now my brother was 6'4"."

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Oct 03 - 10:58 PM

I bet your Dad had one helluva' time buying condoms Sins!!!

Hroth, sorry to have missed this thread, but now that you have learned that you do heal and all and you have had some practice in the high diving art, perhaps I can interest you in taking Dave Swan's old act to Oz. I think you could make a buck or two with your experience and all.

Dave's most recent act, as you may be aware, was to ascend a 90 foot tower, garbed in half a gorilla suit and fishnet tights. He would leap from his perch, performing his "Swan Dive" while playing the "Garry Owen" on Bagpipes. Grabbing his Zippo he would ignite a fart and rocket into a Fire Helmet filled with lime jello 90 foot below. After several audience members suffered heart attacks and 47 were sent to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, area promoters blackballed the "Great El Swanno High Dive."

But this could work for you in Oz!!! I think Dave is selling the gear pretty cheap and I can help with the best diet for flatulence. Why not go for it???

Spaw

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Helen
Date: 16 Oct 03 - 02:54 AM

As far as helping with the flatulence diet, 'Spaw, you seem to have forgotten that *we* helped *you* by inventing & supplying your Vegemite.

Helen

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Hrothgar
Date: 16 Oct 03 - 03:41 AM

No good, Spaw. I flatly refuse to wear fishnet tights. What would they think down at the rugby club?

Another laugh: After I made it upstairs, I sat on a kitchen chair for a while, thinking "I'm just badly winded, I'll be all right shortly." Couldn't get comfortable on the chair, so went and lay down on the bed. Couldn't get comfortable on the bed, went and half sat/half lay in a reclining chair. Eventually the only way to reduce the pain was to stand at the back of a chair, with my arms and shoulders (undamaged) taking the weight of my torso.

After a while I started shaking and sweating, and thought, "Gee, I might be going into shock." I decided not to ring an ambulance, on the grounds that if I was on my feet, I didn't need one. I could have rung the bloke acroos the road, but I would have had to bend to lift the phone book to check his number, so I rang my sister, who lives about five miles away. She took me to the hospital, and denies having hit every bump on the way.

Good idea, Kendall - I'll tell her it was her threat to bring her kids to visit me that got me out of hospital!

Peace.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Shimbo Darktree
Date: 17 Oct 03 - 11:50 PM

Prizes to all of you for the humour. Haven't laughed so much since grandma ... yeah, well, I am going to award the prize (nothing tangible, I'm afraid) to LadyJean, who managed to get nine screws out of a trip in the basement. That's nine more than I would get out of a trip to Fortitude Valley (red light district in Brisbane, Aust), if my wife would let me make said trip.

Cannot award a prize to Hrothgar due to a conflict of interest, though his brush with painting accidents has produced some great prose from him. We missed you on Wednesday, Rog, but Anne filled in admirably, as is her wont, although her heckling is somewhat more enthusiastic than is strictly necessary. We had a minute's silence, but that was at the thought of your probable return next week!

Seriously, I'm glad to read your remarks. It tells me that you are not too badly damaged, and Susana and I wish you a full and speedy recovery.

All the best,

Shimbo

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Naemanson
Date: 18 Oct 03 - 01:07 AM

I was alarmed when I saw the title of this thread. I have heard a spate of deadly hospital stories lately, cancer, brain tumors, etc., and I thought this was another. I was so relieved to find it was "only" a few broken and fractured bones.

Glad to hear you're going to be all right, Hrothgar. Hope you get to the rest of the games.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 18 Oct 03 - 05:42 AM

Felicitations, Hrothgar! You're a lucky one if you were dismissed after a few days in hospital; I had to stay for more than 3 months (but with one rib more broken).
Interesting what you did after falling from the ladder (fire fighters' rule: never mount a ladder unassisted!). I remember that I clapped my hand on my holster and mumbled "armory 1st company" before passing out.
Best wishes for a speedy healing!

Wilfried

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Tig
Date: 18 Oct 03 - 07:53 AM

I feel for you Hrothgar. Usually it's me breaking things at about this time of year :-)!

I found that taking the homeopathic remedy Ruta Graveolens 30C potency really helped to speed up the healing and with the hurts. Try it, it might help you too.

Lots of love and (gentle) hugs,
Tig xxxxxx

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Mudlark
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 01:38 AM

Glad you're on the mend, Hrothgar. Now, no laughing, no coughing and next time keep a better hold on that paint brush!

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 09:50 AM

My uncle told me you should PAINT down a wall, not FALL down it..

Robin

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: open mike
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 02:05 PM

no hugs--even gentle ones
but i will squeeze your
(undamaged) hand in hopes
that you will be ready to
receive hugs soon!
Comfrey (also called Bone Knit
I belive) may aid in the rapid
healing....also calcium supplement
to give extra patching material to
your body.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 04:14 PM

Hrothgar-

This thread has got me thinking about stories from the rescue crews, what we call "first responders" in my part of the world. A favorite story has to be from when a little boy fell through the ice here in Maine many years ago, and fortunately a young man had been walking by the pond at the time, and was able to plung in and pull him out. He managed to wrap the boy up in his mackinaw, which fortunately he had removed before diving in, found out where the boy lived, and carried him two and a half miles through the snow to the house. He pounded on the door, beginning to freeze himself by this time, and was greatly relieved when the mother opened it. He explained what had happened and she gave him a sharp look and hustled her son inside and slammed the door in his face. He was some surprised but there wasn't anything to do but make his way, another mile or so, back to his own house where he began to warm himself before the potbelly stove. Well about 20 minutes later he heard a knock on the door, and there was the mother who asked, "Are you the young man who rescued my son from the ice pond?" "Yes, I'm the one," he said, thinking that she was here to thank him for his efforts. "Well, where are his mittens?"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Naemanson
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 07:08 PM

Charley, that sounds like some women I've known.

I just remembered the year we were staining our house. I had an old wooden extension ladder, heavy as a son of a bitch, and was painting rignt at the peak of the two story house when the rung I was standing on broke. I dropped to the next rung, grabbed with both hands and dropped the brush. Then, with trembling heart, I crawled to the bottom and went in to clean out my underwear and have a stiff drink. I never did finish that portion of the house. It was the last and it spent the rest of its days with only one coat on that peak.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Oct 03 - 11:12 PM

Well, Naemanson,

If you had been facing away from the wall, you definitely would have stained it!

Reminds me...

Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!

:-)

Robin

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Hrothgar
Date: 20 Oct 03 - 01:17 AM

Back at work today.

Gee, I work with some funny people - but I'll get even. They're goint on the list that has Rich-joy and Paul at the top.

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Hrothgar
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 07:55 PM

I'm a star - Ive had a pome written about me:

There was laughter at thr folk club
For the word had got around
That Roger Holmes had fallen from a height;
It's not that folkies are all bad,
They even felt a little sad,
But couldn't help but smile at Roger's plight.

He thought it would be grouse
To paint his little house,
To save money he would do it all himself;
So he built a scaffold tall
To lean against the wall,
With two ladders and a plank fom his book-shelf.

He put his workboots on
One blue, one yellow thong,
And he clambered up that ladder with a rush,
Then he raced along that wood
Just as fast as Roger could,
And started slapping paint on with a brush.

He worked with all his might
And he thought it looked alright,
Then, forgetfully, stepped back to view the job.
When working twelve feet in the air
On a plank you should take care,
Thought Roger as he gave a strangled sob.

For the plank was two feet wide
One foot narrower than his stride
So Riger started flying like a bird;
But then as he descended
With arms and legs extended
From Roger's mouth there came a naughty word.

As the ground flew up to meet him
And the mud prepared to greet him
It wasn't life that flashed before his eyes,
But every verse and every word
Of all the songs he'd ever heard
And every singer he'd been able to advise.

Across the gardens winging
Roger's moans and groans went ringing,
But the neighbours chose to blissfully ignore
The cacophony of sound
That echoed all around,
For they'd heard him simg a thousand times before.

They stretchered him away
To the hospital, P. A.,
Where the doctor gathered round with all his staff;
Roger said "Please tell me plain,
Will I always be in pain?"
The doctor said, "No, only if you laugh."

Safe in hospital at last
Roger whimpered with a gasp,
"I think it's ribs, doc, three or four or five."
"And you've crushed some vertebrae,"
The kindly doctor he did say,
"But, take my advice, you're sure to stay alive."

"When you feel you've got the need
"To do the dirty deed,
"And to heckle poor folk singers as they play,
"Just sit and count to ten
"Or the pain will come again -
"Make no sound until the feeling goes away."

It really is quite eerie
As he sits there, silent, teary,
With puns and barbs congealing in his brain
But he mustn't laugh or joke
Or the five ribs that he broke
And the vertebrae just wouldn't stand the strain.

Now, folkies hushed and awed
Talk in wonder of that board,
At the Kookaburra something's not quite right;
He was painting when it threw him,
On behalf of all who knew him,
And that pank became a legend overnight.

Bob Townshend 2003

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 09:39 PM

It's not everyone who gets to star in their own pome Roger! I reckon you should put a tune to it and trot it out at next year's National.
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 09:58 PM

G'day Hrothgar,

For a moment I thought this was a new thread ... and you had head-butted the TV (or the wall!) after the Poms snicked in a field goal in the dying gasps (or maybe your dying gasps!). It all happened about the time we were listening to The Shiny Bums at The Loaded DogWe Are Australians:

   "We are large, but we are stupid ...
    ...
    ...
    We are, youse are, we are the Rugby ones!"

Well, you needed to be there ... it would have done less damage.

JennieG: Well, he could just appropriate the Wallis & Matilda tune for Clancy of the Overflow ... ?

Regard(les)s,

Bob

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Hrothgar
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 03:26 AM

I want the words for that, Bob. Do you have them, or do I have to chase Chris?

Peace

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 07:25 AM

second attempt to post this! I hit submit & everything dissolved in the usual Mudcat way & I was then looking at the first thread on the list & it was not this one. bugger, bugger, bugger, it was a masterpiece & I gotta invent it again - well, I wn't I'll just precis it.

I have sent Chris an email asking him to pls. post his beautiful Rugger song.

sandra

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Guessed
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 07:37 AM

I guess air guitar is out of the question?

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: GUEST,Canberra Chris
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:33 PM

Hrothgar, as requested:

We Are The Rugby Ones (Parody of 'I Am Australian')

Sometimes for no reason
We form those weird scrums
A form of male bonding
With our heads between our bums
Other times we line up
And leap into the air
But we look so silly when
The ball just isn't there.

Chorus:
We are large, but we are stupid
And from all the rugby lands we come
With leather balls, and silly headgear,
I am, youse are, we are the Rugby Ones.

Welsh sing 'Bread of Heaven'
In parts, for they are hot
English sing the chorus of
'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot'
And other songs are sung
In the bath after the game
But their words I would not
Repeat to you for shame.

by Chris Clarke

We know it was really a collapsed scrum that got you! But as Spike wrote in Puckoon "Thank God the ground broke my fall!" Get well, and keep your voice in working order.

Coincidence of course that the Mudcatter thread ad below this message box as I write is for 'Same Day Funeral Flowers'. Don't do it again.

Cheers,
Chris

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Joybell
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 06:33 PM

Glad things are better for you Hrothgar. I was bitten by a Copperhead a few years back and I can relate to the idea of carefully taking care of your equipment. Good man! I went on with my herbicide spraying so as not to waste the stuff after apologising to the snake. I live a good hour away from the hospital. - a good way from anything really. One thing that puzzles me, though, how come you wasted the paint still on the brush. No thoughts of climbing back up to finish that little corner off? Finding a little something at ground level that needed a little dash of colour? Just kidding! Happy healing Joy

Subject: RE: Hrothgar in Hrospital
From: Naemanson
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 07:05 PM

That poem is classic. Good thing I wasn't drinking tea or I would owe Margaret a new keyboard.