Song Challenge: Jeri and the stump

Subject: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 03:56 PM

We obviously need a thread for all the songs to be written about Jeri's car and the stump...


The stump sat there, but Jeri kept a-coming,
Stump wasn't quite as pretty as it was a while ago.
....

Please add to this, or start other songs...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 04:15 PM

'Twas the middle of October when she took a little trip
Down to Ramblewood where they're known to sing and pick
She went to meet the shellbacks and her friends both old and new
But she got hung up when the weekend it was through!

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 05:00 PM

Jeri's Motor Car

It was down by Ramblewood Meadow fair, one morning I did stray.
I met a fellow folkie there, who to me he did say,
Oh bring your back and your steely jack, and not yer ole guitar
For there's serious work to do this day, on Jeri's motor car!

Oh Barney dear be of good cheer I'll tell you what we'll do.
The men around are plentiful if mechanics they are few,
We'll round up every man around, on banjo or guitar
And we'll give them all some honest work on Jeri's Motor Car!

Now when we crossed the meadow far, an awful thing to see
For Jeri in her motor car had tried to climb a tree
And perched upon the tree stump high, she couldn't drive too far
So we rolled up our sleeves to try and lift Young Jeri's motor car!

We strove and strained to no avail, we could not get the lift
For some of us would pull too slow, and others were too swift
So the lassies called for a forebitter's song, Just eight beats to the bar
And soon we had her straight removed --Young Jeri's Motor Car!

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Tinker
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 06:26 PM

I can't believe I left before this and lost the most amazing footage...damn

Tinker

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 06:29 PM

Brilliant! (I especially like the "Young Jeri" part.)

I believe Noreen was making notes, but she may not have the time to post for a while.

Perhaps next time, I would make a better passage
Off the road and o'er the lawn, and miss that blessed tree
There should be a sign so a car would not be ravaged
By getting stuck upon the tree by me

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 10:47 PM

Well, Jeri, I figured youth would make a more palatable excuse than CRS syndrome!! My long-gone granny actually tried to drive her little Rambler into the woods in her later years, ended up wedging it between two saplings with no idea how she got there or how to get out. Fortunately my Dad found her!! But her case was advanced age and yours was obviously youthful inexperience, right??

A

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Oct 03 - 11:58 PM

Your experience reminds me of an escapade from the 1950s when I was a mere slip of a thing.

My brother's girlfriend and I, temporarily abandoned at home, found the key to my brother's big, black Oldsmobile. Blithely ignoring her lack of a drivers license, she turned the key in the ignition and we took off. It was a dark night and neither of us knew the town.

We wandered around on side streets for awhile to avoid any cops, and not having all that much fun. We found ourselves on a dead ended street- my friend put the car in reverse and straight up and over a neatly piled cord of firewood. I groaned. We wrecked the pile and dragged a few sticks with us as we hurried away.

Somewhat shaken, she decided to head home. At the intersection we had to stop because of an oncoming car, and when we started across we lurched and bucked and rattled. Feeling a cop practically breathing down my neck, I groaned 'Shit...' She thought I had ordered her to 'shift' and she gasped, 'I did!'

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Snuffy
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 05:49 PM

The Jam on Jeri's Stump or
Foreman Big Mick Lane

Come all you trueborn Getaway'rs, and listen while I tell
The tale of one young shanty-girl, and what to her befell.
'Twas of the jam on Jeri's Stump, a place of noted fame,
'Tis the song of six brave Shellbacks, and of foreman, Big Mick Lane.

'Twas on one Monday morning, as you shall quickly hear,
When Jeri drove onto the stump, we could not pull her clear.
"Turn out, brave boys" the foreman cried, with a voice devoid of fear,
"And we'll break up the jam on Jeri's Stump, for New Hampshire then she'll steer".

Some of us were willing, while others, they were not.
For to work on jams on Monday, they did not think they'd ought;
But six bold British Shellbacks did offer to remain
To write a song for Jeri's Stump, while watching Big Mick Lane.

The foreman called for planks of wood, to place beneath the wheel
While he got busy with the jack, he thought it no big deal.
But jacking up that car, brave boys, it was so very slow,
We'd written seven verses in the first half-inch or so.

As he lay down upon the grass some buzzards did appear,
Which caused us consternation, but the foreman showed no fear.
He carried on regardless in the face of awful death
But "Those bastards can shit chipmunks," he muttered under his breath.

They'd not positioned many planks, before Big Mick did say
"I would you all be on your guard, for the jam will soon give way".
He had no more than spoke those words, when the car was free again,
Pushed away by those brave Shellbacks and their foreman, Big Mick Lane.

There was much jubilation, we raised a hearty cheer,
In fact we felt so very pleased, we thought we'd have a beer.
But we'd drunk it all the night before, our liquid gold was gone,
So we just took photos of the stump, with Jeri perched thereon.

We found this mighty irksome, you should have heard our cusses.
But there was no more we could do, so we got back on the buses
We waved goodbye to Jeri, off on the road again,
Rescued by the Shellback's song, (with some help from Big Mick Lane)

The car had looked undamaged, we thought that all was well,
But underneath, a serious fault made Jeri's life a hell.
For she'd lost all of her bearings, the effects were seen real soon
Up and down the Jersey Turnpike for all that afternoon.

So if you're at the Getaway, want to get away real fast
Just take a warning by my tale, and please keep off the grass.
Or you will live to rue the day, those stumps will be your bane,
Unless you find some Shellbacks, and foreman Big Mick Lane.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 05:55 PM

Snuffy:

Masterful!! Pays to take time, doesn't it? BEautiful job.

A

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Snuffy
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:18 PM

Take time, Amos? I just got back to England yesterday, couldn't get to the "real" lyrics in books or on the net till then!.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: GUEST,Big Mick at work
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 06:25 PM

Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph.........Vaughn, I damn near pissed meself laughing at that one. I can't believe you got my chipmunk comment in there.............hahahahahahaha

Great stuff, can't wait to see the rest.

Jeri.....it will be a long time before this one goes away.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 07:17 PM

Brilliant, Snuffy!

Be sure to sing it next year.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 07:40 PM

I hope everyone DID see the pics!
Car jacking (plus Max & Lily Ani)

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 08:41 PM

Mick, I know, but if it all makes me laugh as hard as Snuffy's song did, it was worth it. (Not that I'd do it again, mind you.)

Snuffy - absolutely brilliant! I am SO honored! Nobody ever written a ballad with me in it before.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 10:09 PM

OK, Jeri, I believe you said there was more to the story. I got home to California before you got home to New Hampshire.
What happened?
The world wants to know.
-Joe, happy that you made it home-

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Tinker
Date: 29 Oct 03 - 10:26 PM

The tale is here.

October 22, 6:45pm-- I couldn't get the clicky to get specific...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:21 AM

Workshop for next year?

Songs of Jeri and the Stump

TV room - Saaturday afternoon?

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:37 AM

Bill-

What great pictures! It's almost like I was there.

Did anyone think of using explosives to remove the stump?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:45 AM

Bravo, Amos and Snuffy!
I was wondering....
Did Mick make sure you were all members of the Teamsters or American Auto Workers?
Did you have a Health and Safety rep. on site?
Where were the hard hats and safety boots?

Fraternally,
RtS

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: momnopp
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 10:58 AM

Vaughn -- those words are indeed wonderful!

It's so nice to re-re-re-live those moments -- even for those of us who missed it the first time 'round!

May it be just the first of many tall tales generated by the presence of Shellbacks at the Getaway!

Miss you guys already,

JudyO still suffering Shellback withdrawal...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 11:21 AM

For those who were not there, the amount of time it took Mick to jack up the car (seven verses per half inch - why is the song so short?) had to do with these facts:
1) The jack was crappy
2) Mick would not let anyone help him. He wanted bragging rights, and also the right to Give Me Shit throughout eternity. A Shellback or two offered to spell him, but Mick just kept on cranking...

Where is Noreen and the song she wrote down? I think she ought to post it soon, as I'm about to begin speaking in double entendre.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Snuffy
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 05:52 PM

Jeri,

Noreen's still on Long Island, and probably won't be posting the shanty till she gets back to Britain at the weekend.

Waiting with baited breath.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 06:28 PM

I came up with some of the verses, and I can't remember any of them. I'm completely stumped. I DO wonder what other verses folks might have come up with after leaving because that song sure seemed to take root.

I guess I'm stuck until Noreen returns, and will just keep lumbering along until then. Pining away. In a jam, so to speak. Up a tree. Am I a sap, or what?

How many people left with a piece of the offending X-tree? I have a hunk, mostly bark, and I'm trying to figure out if I can turn it into jewelry.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 08:58 PM

You guys are a hoot! This is definitely one of those threads one shouldn't read at work, lest one be overcome by fits of unseemly giggling. I know from experience. Very recent experience. ROTFLMAO!

Nancy

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: karen k
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 04:55 AM

Jeri,
I'll be seeing Noreen on Sat. I'll remind her about the song although I did see it (the paper it is on anyway) last weekend at the NY Pinewoods weekend. I brought back a very small piece of the stump. Wish I took more. I, too, am anxiously awaiting the posting and will try to spur her on. I'm so glad I was there to see it all. Just think, Jeri, if we didn't have to stop at the White House to pick up my stuff it would never have happened! So, I guess you can blame it all on me.

k

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: kendall
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 07:26 AM

Jeri, I'd say the "root" of the problem is, that the stump is a hazard to navigation.
By the way, where I come from, to say a girl is "Up a stump" is a polite way of saying she is pregnant and not married.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Dani
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 08:00 AM

I can't hold a candle to Vaughn, or Amos, or anya you songsters, but this song keeps going through my head between bouts of giggles:

Oh in the woods
There was a stump
the prettiest little stump
that you ever did see

Oh the stump in the ground
and the Shellbacks stood all around all around
and the Shellbacks stood all around

And on that stump
there was a car
the prettiest little car
that you ever did see

Oh the car on the stump and the stump in the ground, and...

CHO

And in that car
there was a girl
the prettiest little girl
that you ever did see

Oh the girl in the car and the car on the stump and the stump in the ground, and...

CHO

And with that girl
there was a Mick
the prettiest little Mick
that you ever did see...

ETC ad nauseum

Dani

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: karen k
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 09:03 PM

That's great, Dani! More is needed. It was really something you had to see first hand!

Jeri, I saw Noreen today and she has the paper with the words on it. As I write this she (Theresa, Carole and Alan) has been in the air about 2 1/2 hours on her way home. So, you should be seeing the song before too long. Colin is the only Shellback left here and he leaves tomorrow.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: kendall
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 09:13 PM

I posted a couple of verses in the Memories 2003 thread.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Barbara
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 09:17 PM

Jeri, you said:
"How many people left with a piece of the offending X-tree? I have a hunk, mostly bark, and I'm trying to figure out if I can turn it into jewelry."

So have you considered that the tree's bark might actually be worse than its bite? Or that you might be barking (or debarking) up the wrong tree? That you might be getting more than you barkined for?

Is making jewelry out of the bark of the stump that treed you something like having the hair of the dog that bit you? I wooden do it, myself; I get all splintery just thinking about it.

Yrs in paronomasia,
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 09:52 PM

Oak A, Barbara, if you're gonna be like that. But I have to tell you, so many puns go against the grain. I know I should have taken a plane home, what with the way things turned out with my router and awl.

Thanks Dani & Kendall - I'm overcome with emotion.

Karen K, thanks. I wonder how long it will take before the Shellbacks get some sleep and the reports start rolling in.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 11:17 PM

well...they'll get home early in the morning their time, but probably sleepy, so it's hard to say when they will post ...they will likely take a nap, and wake UP about noon Mudcat time, trying to figure out how to get back to sleep for tomorrow...it takes a couple of days for jet lag to clear.

But then, I could be totally wrong, as there are several who I suspect can do without sleep..*grin*...(they sure outlasted ME at the Getaway!)

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 01:20 AM

Well Bill, as I recall there was a sizeable chunk of the stump knocked forward of the stump but it appeared rotten and not any where near as interesting as the vase I bought from you.

Incidently the vase now sits on a shelf near a window with a bonzi tree placed in a glass jar inside it. Very Japanese. My mother was trained and credentialed as an Ikibana (Japanese flower arranging) judge and would have loved to use your vase as one of the elements in her classes.

Incidently, I could use a piece of your work with a cove for a candle holder, taller, with lots of burl or open rot to create a back drop for the flame, yet set back enough not to catch fire. Think of an old grain scoop without the handle, set on the flat end. Take care.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 10:46 AM

that stump sure appeared too rotten to me for serious processing without some sort of preservation such as superglue, or months in a tank of PEG (polyethelyne glycol)

glad you liked the vase! I will cogitate on the other idea...I have this piece of sassafras...hmmm...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 12:30 PM

Bill, I don't know what that stuff is, but I think some sort of polymerization technique is probably what it's going to take. It's rotten.

The trick in getting over jet lag is to get completely exhausted on the trip, so you can get 8 hours of sleep no matter WHAT time you get home...and then stay up until 'bedtime'. Avoid naps at first, because they'll keep your internal clock from re-setting.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: kendall
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 02:40 PM

So, Jeri, why did you "leaf" via the putrified forest. instead of the road?

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 07:51 PM

Kendall, it was a forestshadowing of what was to come on the NJ Turkpine.

Through the river and over the wood
To Grandmother's house we tred
The sleigh, of course, should carry the horse
Since it fell off a low branch on its head
...ok. stopping now.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Nov 03 - 10:41 PM

She got stumped last October in field that looked so clean.
One minute she was backing up and then she could have cried,
And the groan she gave as she got out it caused us to proclaim,
That Jeri's little red car would rise again!

Rise again, rise again, though you're hung up with your spinning wheels
And movement has to end,
All those who stand around with pockets full of their hands,
Will make Jeri's little red car rise again.

Though the stump it was rotten and cut low to the ground,
It held her fast and kept her car from moving around.
The Shellbacks stood around and wondered where to begin,
When Big Mick waded in and looked around.

He got the jack, sent for some planks, and got down on his knees.
He looked around and cursed and swore and got the jack in place.
Then he started cranking hard and raised a little way,
But the car drove the jack into the ground.

The buzzards circled closer as he fought with the stump,
But, "They can all shit chipmunks" was what he seemed to grunt.
And he worked and lifted, sweated and swore and seemed about to give up,
When the little red car drove off of the stump.

Subject: Lyr add: Jeri on a Stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 07:45 PM

Jeri on a Stump

Car on a stump on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
Can't go forward and can't go back
Open up the boot* and get out the jack
Hi yo get out the jack
Hey yo get out the jack
Hi yo get out the jack
Hey yo get out the jack

*regional variation: open up the trunk

Drove on the lawn and it looked quite smooth
Hi yo get out the jack
Got stuck on a stump and the car won't move
Hi yo get out the jack
Shellback men went to get some wood
Hi yo…
We said they couldn't but they said they could
Hi yo…

Drove on the lawn and the car got stuck
Hi yo get out the jack
But we aint gonna call no breakdown truck
Hi yo get out the jack
Get out mechanical toys and stuff
Hi yo get out the jack
Will Mick be able to get me off?
Hi yo get out the jack

Big Mick set to in front of us
Hi yo…
He didn't cry and he didn't fuss
Hi yo…
Laid on the ground with his bum in the air
Hi yo…
If Mick stays down we girls won't care…
Hi yo……..

Took us the middle and the forenoon too
Hi yo…
With loadsa new songs from the Shellback crew
Hi yo…
Buzzards circling overhead
Hi yo…
Say Jeri shouldn't 'a bothered to get out of bed
Hi yo…….

Communal writing effort- unless anyone wants to claim credit for individual bits? I noted down scraps and stuck it together.

Oh- all the suggestive bits about Mick were composed by Jeri :0)

Subject: Lyr add: The Battle of Jeri's Stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 07:55 PM

Other suggestions included variations on
Leave her Jeri leave her
and
Weh hey and up she rises

and the following, which would benefit from a more creative brain than mine...

The Battle of Jeri's Stump

The stump lay there and Jeri kept a-comin'
And it isn't nigh as pretty as it was a while ago
The car got stuck and the Shellbacks came a-runnin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico*

*poetic licence

Well, we looked cross the lawn and we seed the British come
And there must have been a hundred* of them beating on the drum
They sang so high and they made the branches ring
While Jeri sat behind the wheel and didn't say a thing

*arithmetic licence

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 07:59 PM

Q.    How many Shellbacks does it take to jack up a car?
A.    One to heave and ten shanty men

:0)

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:01 PM

Noreen, I did NOT write that verse about his bum in the air! At least not all of it. Welcome Home Noreen!!!

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:05 PM

Ha! You don't deny the previous verse though :0)

Talked most of yesterday to anyone who would listen, about all that happened in the last two wonderful weeks, slept last night and dozed a fair bit of today. Good to be home, but I miss you guys!

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:19 PM

Previous verse? No. Well, I can't remember exactly. Teresa was there, wasn't she?

I'm glad you had a good time and that I got to meet you, and I hope you can return.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:23 PM

...as do we all. Good to see you finally got 'some' sleep, NOReen...*smile*

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:29 PM

Gonna lie down turn around jack it off the tree stump
Lie down turn around jack it off today...

Think I need more sleep.

:0)

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Tinker
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 08:55 PM

Noreen dearest, that last one is way more suggestive than Jeri's....Seems more suited for one of my old blues...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Nov 03 - 09:13 PM

See where an innocent mind takes me?

I was trying to do something clever with jolly jack tars but it would probably only get me into more trouble...

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Naemanson
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 12:27 AM

"...jack it off today..."

I have to ask if it means the same thing in England as it does here in the USA. Here "jack off" is one of many slang terms for solo sex.

Subject: RE: Need words -songs about Jeri and stump
From: Barb'ry
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 11:49 AM

Oh I have such GOOD photos of unidentifiable men's bums!! All hail to the great and stranded red car...
Hee hee - people will pay money for these!