Punch The Horse - November fred

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,NHS
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:29 AM

Their was no mention of the "pain in the neck"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Raggytash
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:06 AM

Sir William, it may have been kinder to take the unfortunate TC to a vet, there are times when it is better to embrace a harsh realities and be cruel to be kind

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Sir William Ootton
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 05:55 AM

Has anyone ever heard of the tune Bootyman's Umbrella?

On Tuesday last TC and I breakfasted extensively. We discussed, amongst other things, how Thornton seems to have become the object of opprobrium on various threads on this chatter forum. The poor person was beside him/ herself.

On Wednesday, following a panic-stricken text message, I was forced to bundle TC into the back of my Humber Sceptre Gti and take him to the apothecary who dispensed wisdom, succour and a remedy containing witch hazel. Apparently, some of TCs more hurtful outpourings have been directly related to a back injury sustained on a canal towpath ambling holiday taken at the start of October. There is considerable discomfort. We should all try to understand a little more.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 02:48 AM

ferresh

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 12:07 PM

Oh dear.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 05:04 AM

I believe Thornton has just been Kirbyed.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Kirby Grindlehyde
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 05:02 AM

Thornton, my dear fellow, please don't lower the tone.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 03:42 PM

We are swiftly moving towards another momentous objective for this thread "300". I am sure with a concerted effort we can achieve it today or tomorrowwww.....ELP wots appenin tu meeee...







Just testing your language - no need to worry - it did not seem to work for me.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 02:46 PM

Or being hung upside down from a mangle with one's head in a huge hollowed-out model of Judith Chalmers brimming with Trill by a mysterious group from the management committee of the of Caravan Club.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 12:38 PM

Or whelked.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: smallpiper
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 09:53 AM

better than being ignored I suppose oaklet

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 09:29 AM

Eeeek! I've been Thorntoned.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 09:18 AM

I do not believe Hull's new sewer has diverted all the effluent into Saltend.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 09:06 AM

There is no shortage of finches in my aviary. So there.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: KJ
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 08:35 AM

Bloody 'ell Oaklet, the wheel's going round up there but the hamster's definately decomposing!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 06:46 AM

Sorry Oss, I know there is only room for you in my dreams even though I have to stretch them a bit to accommodate all of you. On the subject of snoring, I sustained industrial deafness sneaking down your passage on Sunday morning as I emerged into the watery sunshine of the Spanish Quarter. I now have to attend to the whelk pens. Since Hull's new sewer has diverted all the effluent into Saltend, I have had to start feeding the little buggers. That was a load of drivel and I apologise to sensitive souls who object to that sort of thing.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 06:31 AM

In your dreams, oakers?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 06:11 AM

It is Colin Thompson (in a flowery dress).

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 06:06 AM

It would appear then that none of you people have the wit or intelligence to be able to even guess at my true identity.
Do you require another clue?
Very well, the clue is as follows - My main hobby, as some of you well know, is transvestism. does that help?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: sweetfire
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 04:46 AM

Cool, can't wait for the CD!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Kirby Grindlehyde
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 04:14 AM

My dear Miss Marple, you have left a broad spectrum of suspects open to examination with this deduction.

As Mr. Watson was suffering in bed with rather unfortunate bout of influenza, I suspect it is unlikely that he was in fact posting as Thornton Curtis on saturday night.

It may have been the founding member of Rural Sex, but as I have no information relating to his his whereabouts on said saturday evening, my speculation is, as yet, unfounded.

Could it, in fact, be Henry, the mild mannered janitor?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 03:53 AM

Can I come?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:33 PM

Why thank you smallpipes for that bit of nice publicity.

Yes, it is true.On the 1st of December McGarrys Fusiliers - me, Andy, Pete,Nikki and Oaklet - will be striding determindly into the hallowed studios of "Fairview" music to record for posterity sume musc and song and that.

Hopefully," Changing your Demeanour" will be on sale about a week later.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: smallpiper
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 04:16 PM

Stuff Thornton Curtis, who gives a nack about him/her/it anyway .... so on to more important things...

I understand that the world phamouse band Punch the Horse are going into the studio in order to record their particular brand of music for posterity and they have promised that the resulting CD will be available prior to christmas!

Oh what joy for the international members(and the rest of us from Hull and its suburbs inc London) of this forum who will be able at last to hear the full and up to the minute incarnation of this most entertaining band (including the duelling fiddles of Oaklet and the Niknak)providing of course that they buy said CD (availale from ossonflags himsel no doubt). So roll up and place your orders now!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Miss Marple
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 01:24 PM

Mr Raggytash, I think it premature to deduce that Thornton was not in your presence Saturday last. I am given to understand from your postings that several people from your musical community here were indeed present, so that should be where we first look. Thornton, who we mustn't assume is male, is obviously highly literate, which we know from his annoyance at semi or illiterate imposters. If we assume this, that would eliminate most of your guests who embarrass themeselves so publicly here. My initial deduction would be that it is the one called Oaklet, in that he is the only Hull-based contributor who even approaches exemplary syntax.

However, Mr Raggytash, we then peel back the next layer of the onion that is inducing this lacrymose reaction, and examine the modus operandi of Thornton to see if that gives us any clues, and again eliminating poor imitators' scribblings, the last two 'genuine' Thornton entries are visible here as having been made Saturday last, and the timings recorded suggest that the one called Oaklet would have struggled to have been playing with the eponymous band and crafting invective on a keyboard.

Having eliminated Oaklet by demonstrable alibi, and the rest of the revellers (however lamentable their command of English grammar), the next most likely suspect has to be someone connected with this 'Punch The Horse' collective who has cleverly not maintained a risible profile within this domain. That person was not, at face value, present on Saturday night, and would need a publicly accepted alibi to avoid detection. To cut to the chase, I have written the name, or at least the occupation of the suspect at the bottom of my report, but can you guess it?























































The accordion player ................

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 12:18 PM

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 12:02 PM

What ever happened to free speech ?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 11:50 AM

Don't worry Raggy - I have been trying to avoid threads with this shit head in for days. It's like having Penelope crop up without the humour or appeal.

Ignore him and he'll go away.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Raggytash
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 11:43 AM

Mr TC
You weren't at the gig on Saturday night. we are talking serious good music from seriously talented people, I know not your talents in this regard but trust me the diatribes and nonsense here belie a fantastic band

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 11:39 AM

More riveting dialogue excellent information.
Remind me this is about music is it not ?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 11:08 AM

We is show biz folks, Whelkling. Like royalty we don't do that. The Fart Police is on the ball and come round at two in the morning to take it all away.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 11:04 AM

Blimey, I do believe that was Mr Geestline. It was a pleasure to have your company, sir.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Whelkling
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 08:45 AM

Thanks for all the nice comments and allowing me to bugger about with Punch The Horse's set at Raggytash's brilliant bash (note the correct use of apostrophes). You were all on blistering form, even 'two drinks' DeanMeister, and I had a really good time - good company, good music and a great audience.

However, if I'd known that the van ride to Uddersfeeled was intended to be a flatulence competition, I would have brought a wind instrument along as well as my collection of wood and ironmongery. What do you people eat?

Still, best wishes to you all, see you soon and give my love to Kirby Grindlehyde.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 06:35 AM

Oaklet, how do you know that I snore?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:54 AM

Well said, David. I have posted similar sentiments on Raggys thread below (see Does Bush need Raggy and MC FAT)

I thoroughly enjoyed the evening. Thanks to all!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Oaklet
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:51 AM

It was a great pleasure to do Raggytash's bash. I was brilliant, Deanmeister was brilliant, Niknak was brilliant, Ossonflags was brilliant, RW was brilliant and our accordionist was in bed.

Ossonflags, did you know that you snore?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:08 AM

No

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: sweetfire
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 03:02 PM

Why ever would it not include you Mick?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 04:51 AM

Will the new line up include me?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Hull
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 08:11 PM

Why, thank you for asking, Miss Sophia, however colloquially. I am, however, not planning to 'play' (as you say) Durty Nellies at all.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,Thornton Curtis
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 12:29 PM

I feel quite sure no one is realy interested be it Hull or Beverley.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 10:04 AM

When are you next playin at Durty Nellies, Hull?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 05:01 AM

Maybe we'll give that a miss, Nick.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 04:44 AM

I could trundle my upright round the corner if 5 strong lads can help me get it down the steps to the pavement (and back into the house later!)
Having said that it's a semi tone below concert which can bugger things up a tad, piano playing in it's own version of D and you playing C shapes with the capo on the first fret

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 04:12 AM

Not sure yet, Raggy, but I suspect Wattie is buggered for the weekend. So Rich is likely to come to Huddersfield also, adorned with Banjo, Mandola, guitar, Harmonicas and possibly a grand piano for those orchestral numbers.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 03:58 AM

Will the talented Mr Watson be recovered for Saturdays sojourn to Huddersfield or will Mr Waistline be stepping into the breach once again

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 03:51 AM

In view of the fact that our trusty box player and anchorman, Mr. Watson, is in bed with the flu, the pugilists will be sporting a slightly altered line up for this evening's festivities. We shall be joined, at great expense, by the legendary Mr. Richard Wastling, together with whatever instruments he turns up with. Should make for a pleasant evening for anybody thinking of turning out.

Look forward to seeing you. Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: ossonflags
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 02:56 AM

Punch the Horrses will be playing ay the "Hope and Anchor" South Ferriby Tonight - Oakley will be on't fiddle and I may sing a song or two if he lets me(See earlier in thread for instructions how to get there)
I shall not be sporting a handbag tonight.

Hope you can make it Karen and Colin it seems all of a festival ago since I have had the pleasure of your company.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: smallpiper
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 10:11 AM

Is that the follow on to "The Devil he's a stoking them fires for you, repent milk drinkers, repent!"?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse - November fred
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 10:06 AM

Smallpiper
Have you not heard their latest song `Drop kick me Jesus through the goal post of life`? CT