BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 04:42 PM

Thts the people Nemesis kinked to in the first post, saul

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 03:23 PM

Wow!! The ministry of the Holy Red Breast>??!! They're one of our long-lost splinter groups from the Temple of the Golden Curve!! They had some disagreement about the way we were handling things, so they decided to cleave to their own path. We had completely lost sight of them! Glad to say they are still busting chops.

Reverend Frank Adoration
Director of Attention
Temple of the Golden Curve

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: saulgoldie
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 03:02 PM

Got this from another board. Seems that someone has managed to turn the tables and scam the scammers!


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3887493.stm

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 04 - 07:54 AM

The Kizombe Correspondence link seems to have changed to http://www.savannahsays.com/kizombe.htm

A

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST,Ahhh not sure if this will win
Date: 04 Jul 04 - 02:11 AM

Libby, the daughter of finance minister of Nigeria
want help in shiffting funds from her fathers eastare to a reputable bank...minimal cost but lot of paper work...look lets face these poor misguided individuals must get assitance for trying...I once pulled a similar scam to get free drinks at the melbourne cup in the VIP tent section...Mine was the daughter of foreign minister of Zimbabwe and we got free drinks despite the fact that no one had ever heard the minister was in Melbourne...BUT A+ for these people keep up the good work...and gods speed in your star trek adventure...

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST,Shay32680
Date: 01 May 04 - 08:33 PM

Mr Olanrewaju Lambert,
Branch Accountant,
Standard trust bank plc,
Lagos Nigeria.
Mobile.[phone]
[e-mail]

Dear Weber,

I am Accountant with STANDARD TRUST BANK plc(STB),My name is Mr
olarewaju Lambert,a Banker. I am the personal Accountant to ENGINEER Mike
ALex Weber, a National of your country, who used to work with shell
Development company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my
client On April 21, 2000 my client, his wife, and their three children
were involved in a car accident along lagos Ibadan express way.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.Since then
I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my
clients extended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last
name through a geological search on family trace, to locate any member
of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in
repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before
they Get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge
deposits were lodged, particularly the STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC. Where
the deceased had an account Valued at about ($6 million us dollars) has
Issued me a notice to provide the next of kin. Or have the account
confiscated as an unclaimed fund.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2
years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased so that this account valued at ($6 million u s dollars) can be
paid to you as the beneficiary next of kin and then you and me Can share
the money.60% to me and 40%.

An attorney will be contracted to help revalidated and notarize all
the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up
any claim we may make.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal
through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate
arrangement that will protect you. from any breach of the law.

Also reply to me with your phone and fax number ,contact address ,full
name and age and occupation.

Awaiting your urgent response.

Send your reply to my private email box [e-mail]

Best regards
Olarewaju Lambert.

-This was my very first scam e-mail, I'm sooooo proud

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:56 PM

Ooh, excellent (she said wiping tea off her keyboard).

I still continue to get these pieces of literary BS. Lately I have been noticing somewhat of a religious flavour:

From: Mrs Serena Jones
PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USED IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married
to Dr. Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast
for nine years before he died in the year
2000.
We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only
four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-
marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the
sum of$8.6Million (Eight Million six hundred thousand U.S. Dollars)
with one finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland.
Presently, this money is still with the Security Company.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next
three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is
my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to
donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual
that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.
I want a church that will use this fund to fund churches, orphanages
and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.
The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.
I took this decision because I don?t have any child that will inherit this
money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don?t want my husband´s
hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don?t want a situation where this money
will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking
this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.
I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my
case and I shall hold my peace. I don?t need any telephone communication in this regard because
of my health and because of the presence of my husband?s relatives around me always. I don?t want
them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply
I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company in Amsterderm Holland
. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original-
beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always
pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My
happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord
must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church
or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure
me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping
to hearing from you.
N.B-
PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND
IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE IS
VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS NAME,
THE LAWYER'S NAME IS ADVOCATEN VAN BOSCH,PHONE NUMBER
IS 0031-620-794-311.
[e-mail].
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Serena Jones

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

Here's something similar I found a year or so ago...


Savannah Says: The Kizombe Correspondence


Enjoy... it's a stitch!

YY

Subject: RE: Nigerian Scammers not on the Uppity Up...
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:11 PM

Con promises slick inheritance

Tue Dec 16, 6:32 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - A pharmacy in Scotland is suffering from a bad case of mistaken identity.

Unsuspecting victims from around the world are descending on the chemists shop in Thurso, Caithness, believing it to be a bank they were duped into paying thousands of pounds.

Each was told they would inherit an oil company in return for an upfront fee to be paid into an account at the Continental Trust Bank -- but the bank does not exist and the address given was that of Sutherland's the chemists.


"The address is a chemist shop...It is a bona fide operating pharmacy," Detective Superintendent Gordon Urquhart of Caithness Police said on Tuesday.

Pharmacy manager Andrew Paterson said people as far afield as Norway and New Zealand were calling in to demand their money back.

"We had a Mediterranean couple come in looking for a bank," Paterson told BBC Radio 4's Today programme. "After a while we suggested maybe they should go round to the police. They did seem a little upset about it."

Arlen Hughes, from Wyoming in the United States, was told he would inherit $41 million (23 million pounds) if he paid $57,000 up front.

"I received a call from a fella in Nigeria saying that I had inherited an oil company," he told Today. "They were very professional."

"I found a registered number in Scotland and so the researches I had found led me to believe they were on the uppity up."   

---

Not as uppity up as you hoped, obviously...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 08:00 AM

For some reason I've been getting heaps of them lately - one or two a day. I used to only get one every few weeks. I save them in my funnies folder. I think they are a scream.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 07:44 AM

looks like I'm missing a lot of innocent merriment by deleting them!

sandra (at least in the good old days we could keep the pretty Nigerian stamp & recycle the letter & save a tree!)

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Nemesis
Date: 18 Nov 03 - 06:14 PM

I was sending copies of different pleas back to different scammers and suggesting they negotiate with each other (and then blocking the email address) ..

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 18 Nov 03 - 03:34 AM

LadyJean, your disingenuousness does you credit, but none of these things will have the slightest effect.

The best way to deal with the scammers is to waste their time. I tell them I am a rich businessman who is eager to help them and that I will be flying out on a specified date, bringing some thousands of dollars with me to tide them over. All they have to do is book me in the local Sheraton Hotel for the night. (More good timewasting advice in the link above in the first post)

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: LadyJean
Date: 18 Nov 03 - 01:03 AM

When I started getting them, I responded with, "You just sent a fraudulent email to Judge Martin's granddaughter, don't you feel foolish." My grandfather was a judge. He died before I was born. But they didn't need to know this.
They were unimpressed by judges.
So I tried telling them I was married to a gangster, a bald faced lie. That didn't work either. No luck with an invented uncle who worked for the state department. Of late, I've been trying a mythical male relation who works for interpol. I also forward them to the treasury address. I wonder what they do with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST,Peter from Essex
Date: 17 Nov 03 - 06:31 PM

Some people actually beleve these emails. As in this news item

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 03 - 04:09 PM

I'd love to buy 16000 from you. Where can I send the penny?

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 03 - 01:05 PM

i got one too
what a wanker he was
he should have asked for turkish dollars
1,600,000.00 to one US dollar

I have a turkish Million dollar bill here

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Peace
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 09:17 PM

We're missing a money amker here guys and gals. Let's try it on Ollie North.

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Nemesis
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 09:14 PM

Only one every two weeks? Cor .. I'm getting 2 every other day .. "farmers in the Netherlands" are getting in on the act now

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: GUEST,Dr. Jacob Kalamba
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM

DR. JACOB KALAMBA

The Zambia Home Office.

The Hague.

The Netherlands.

Tel: [phone]

Fax: [phone]

Email:[e-mail]

Attn:

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE IN A FINANCIAL TRANSACTION.

I am interested in your partnership in business dealing. This business
proposal I wish to intimate you with is of mutual benefit and it's success is entirely based on mutual trust, cooperation and a high level of confidentiality as regard this transaction.

I am representing the board of the contract award and monitoring committee of the Zambian Ministry of Mining and Resources. I am seeking your assistance to enable me transfer the sum of          73,702,500,000.00 Zambian Kwacha into your private/company account.

The fund came about as a result of a contract awarded and executed for and on behalf of my Ministry. The contract was supposed to be awarded to two foreign contractors to clean up deposit bottles throughout Zambia. The contract was awarded to a Bulgarian contractor and at the close of their contract we realized a profit of 73,702,500,000.00 Zambian Kwacha to my benefit unknown to the contractor. This contract has been satisfactorily executed and inspected as the Bulgarian firm is presently securing payment from my Ministry, where our Board is in-charge of all foreign contract payment approval.

As a civil servant I want to share this wealth with you, a person who I don't know and have never met. My family keeps saying "Fly the country and let us live in some nice place like Newark or Ballyfungus, somewher where 73,702,500,000.00 Zambian Kwacha still commands some respect." But I am in active government service, I am forbidden by law to operate a scam outside the shores of Zambia. Hence this message to you seeking your assistance so as to enable me present your
private/company account details as a beneficiary of contractual claims
alongside that of the Bulgarian contractor, to enable me transfer the
difference of 73,702,500,000.00 Zambian Kwacha into your provided account.

On actualization, the fund will be disbursed as stated below.

0% for you and 100% for us, plus whatever we can convince you to send.

What we request from you are:

1,your NAMES, COMPANY NAME if any- otherwise we will use your name to
register the company.

2. Your ADDRESS, TELEPHONE, FAX, MOBILE PHONE numbers.

The NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR BANKERS.

ACCOUNT NUMBER AND SWIFT CODE or routing number.

NAME OF ACCOUNT HOLDER OR BENEFICIARY.

All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for a smooth
actualization of the transaction within the next few working days of
commencement. For further details as to the workability of this transaction, please reach me as soon as possible for further clarification. Please, call me on receipt of this mail on:

Tel: + 31 62 34 37 497

Thank you while I await your urgent response.

Yours Sincerely,

DR. JACOB KALAMBA

[e-mail]

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 07:50 PM

Beautiful!

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Peace
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 04:58 PM

Dear Mr Nemesis,

I have make a misteak abuot the monie. It is only $13,427 that my buisness assosiates requier. Send me your acount number and we will put it to you after you give it to us.

In the vernacular, "What a hoot!"

Subject: RE: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: MarkS
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 04:24 PM

This is too cool for words. I get about one Nigerian scam every two weeks or so, and cant wait to try it out.
Martk

Subject: BS: Even better than best Nigerian Scam!
From: Nemesis
Date: 16 Nov 03 - 07:51 AM

Nigerian Scammers stitched up (especially the letters page!)

ROFLMAO