Lyr Add: more Little Willie

Subject: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Barbara
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 04:24 PM

My family was just talking about these rhymes, so I did a search for them. There are a number of them in the database, and more in threads, but here are some more I found that we don't seem to have.
Blessings,
Barbara

Weep not for little Leone
Abducted by a French Marquis
Though loss of honour was a wrench
Just think how it's improved her French!

Father heard his children scream,
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard."
   
When, with my little daughter Blanche,
I climbed the Alps last summer,
I saw a dreadful avalanche
About to overcome her;
And, as it swept her down the slope,
I vaguely wondered whether
I should be wise to cut the rope
That held us twain together.
I must confess I'm glad I did,
But still I miss the child – poor kid.

When baby's cries grew hard to bear,
` I popped him in the Frigidaire.
I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff.
My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappé!
Our darling's now completely frappé.

My son, Augustus, in the street, one day,
Was feeling quite exceptionally merry.
A stranger asked him; "Can you show me, pray,
The quickest way to Brompton cemetery?"
"The quickest way? You bet I can," said Gus,
And pushed the fellow underneath a bus.
Whatever people say about my son,
He does enjoy his bit of fun.

There's been an accident!" they said,
"Your servant's cut in half; he's dead!"
"Indeed!" said Mr. Jones, "and please
Send me the half that's got my keys."

Willie in the cauldron fell;
See the grief on mother's brow;
Mother loved her darling well --
Willie's quite hard-boiled by now.

Dr. Jones fell in the well
and died without a moan.
He should have tended to the sick
and left the well alone.

When Grandmama fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.

Bob was bathing in the bay,
When a shark who passed that way
Punctured him in seven places;
--And he made such funny faces!

When rabies attacked my Uncle Daniel,
And he had fits of barking like a spaniel,
The BBC relayed him (from all stations),
At Children's Hour in "farmyard imitations".

Little Willie with a shout,
Gouged the baby's eyeballs out;
Stamped on them to make them pop.
Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"

Willie with the nursery shears
Cut off both the baby's ears.
To the baby so unsightly
Mother raised her eyebrows slightly.

Note: these come from a book called "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes" (or "More Ruthless...") by Harry Graham (Col. D. Streamer)written in about 1890.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Hrothgar
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:05 PM

Are these related to:

The higher up the mountain
The greener grows the grass;
Down came the billygoat
Sliding on his overcoat.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:13 PM

Thats what I like about Mudcat -- REAL Class

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Barbara
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 10:07 PM

Hrothgar, if you go here Little Willie you will find more poems that will give you the idea. To be a "Little Willie" a poem must be macabre, and careless with life, especially the lives of children, and then have a surprise end, especially one with a bad pun in it.

Willie pushed his sister Nell
Into the family drinking well
She's still there because it killed her
Now we have to use a filter.

Probably these are most closely related to Tom Lehrer's Irish Ballad (Rickety Tickety Tin). Wonder if this is where he took his inspiration?
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 10:39 PM

This the very first time that Little Willie has had a thread of his own. If you (click here to search), you'll find that poor Willie has been scattered all over the Forum. I've posted it before, but I have to say that my favorite one is:

Little Willie Jones fell down the elevator
There they found him, six months later;
They held their noses, and said, "Gee, whiz,
What a spoiled child our Little Willie is."

In another thread, Art Thieme suggested singing "Willie" to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw." I learned it as verses to The Dummy Line.

There was another verse about Davy Jones' locker - anybdy know that one?
-Joe Offer-

---

Posted in another thread (some of which appears below):

Thread #118593   Message #2589022
Posted By: Joe_F
14-Mar-09 - 09:00 PM
Thread Name: Folklore: Gallows Humour-laughing at death/disease
Subject: RE: Folklore: Gallows Humour-laughing at death/disease


There was a tradition of nasty rhymes in the 19th century, e.g.:

Little Willy from the mirror
Licked the mercury right off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral, his mother
Smartly said to Mrs Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willy
When the mercury went down."

Willy, in one of his bright new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes.
Soon the room grew rather chilly,
But no one cared to poke poor Willy.

Mother heard her children scream,
So she threw them in the stream,
Saying, as she drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard."

There were also, in the early 20th century, the Little Audrey jokes, some of which made fun of death:

Little Audrey played with matches and set fire to the house. As it burned, her mother said "You just wait till your father comes home; then you'll catch it." Little Audrey just laughed and laughed, because she knew that her father had come home early and was taking a nap upstairs.

For some literal gallows humor, see "The Night before Larry Was Stretched" in the DigiTrad.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Barbara
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 02:29 AM

Hey Joe, you lost a line, (and I think it scans better this way)

Willie fell down the elevator
When they found him six days(months) later
They held their noses, and said, "Gee, whiz,
What a spoiled child our Willie is."

And you know, scanning through our old threads, I gotta say I like
Art Thieme's about as well as any; I wonder if he wrote it.

"Willie fell into a septic tank,
You know that tank it really stank,
He couldn't swim inside that tank,
But he went through the movements before he sank."

Blessings,
Barbara

---

Yes, I missed a line. I added the one I knew, which was slightly different from yours.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 11:34 AM

Ah, Little Willie! I wanted to grow up and be just like him.

Dover republished the book cited some years ago (LOTS of years ago!) and I'm looking forward to someday unpacking my copy again.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 05:53 AM

The above mentioned "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes" is in print and available from Dover Books. Check their website.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 02:13 PM

Little Willie from the mirror
Licked the mercury right off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure the whooping cough.

At the funeral, his mother
Smartly said to Mrs Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down."

Willie, in one of his bright new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes.
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Willie.

E. Gorey's book _The Listing Attic_ has limericks in a similar vein:

The partition of Salvador Scowles
Was a sickener: They came on his bowels
In a firkin. His brain
Was found clogging a drain,
And his toes were wrapped up in some towels.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: more Little Willie
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 02:49 PM

from memory: (they are probably in some of those links)


Little Willie, with a taste for gore,
Nailed his sister to the door.
Mother said with humor quaint,
"Willie, dear, you'll spoil the paint.

Willie found some dynamite-
Couldn't understand it quite.
Curiousity never pays-
It rained Willie seven days.