BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Homeless
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:34 PM

Go to a fabric store and get a piece of that fake fur and wrap around the stick. If you want to go over the edge, carve a little hoof out of wood, spray paint it black, and attach it to the bottom of the stick.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:15 PM

Get yourself some short cross pieces, a batch of beer bottle caps, some nails, etc. and make an Australian "lagerphone"!

I'm sure Bob Bolton who is a mudcatter can e-mail you some plans.

Makes a great rhythm stick, better than a bass, and you don't have to know the chord progression.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 05:02 PM

That waiting times site was very interesting..... one Dr told me 2 months (60 days - some how it seems shorter when you say days rather than months), the bookings clerk told me 9 months which works out at 270 days, which is a bit different to the 6 months (189 days) that comes up on the list....

Someone, somewhere is definately telling me porkies.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 01:44 PM

You and Tash should be a right pair at the weekend!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: HuwG
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 01:06 PM

Apologies for the delay in offering my commiserations on catsPHiddle's difficulties. My suggestion re the crutch decorations; you may be able to electrolyse copper onto them, using a bath filled with copper sulphate solution and a car battery. (I assume that the crutches are aluminium). If you mask areas of the crutches using vaseline, you can get a rather vivid patterned effect. I don't know quite what the Appliance Officers will say when they get them back. The process is indelible, and irreversible, so far as I know.

Nil bastardis carborundum, Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: okthen
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 10:30 AM

Did a bit of research, and came up with this unfortunately this particular lady lost her case, but the E112 rule might apply to your situations, you could try dropping it into the conversation during your next consultation.
Alternatively you could try for a weekend in Paris and make enquiries when you get there.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: okthen
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:32 AM

Further to my earlier post, the case I was referring to was for a hip replacement (hip operations are so uncool) the recipient was an elderly lady in east anglia somewhere (I saw it on Anglia news) she went to France and the cost (including airfares,etc.) was less than if she'd had the same operation privately in this country.I think (some doubt here) she sued the NHS and the judge ruled that if she had waited a reasonable length of time i.e. 4 months without having the op. she was entitled to go privately and send the bill to the NHS.Unfortunately although she won her case there was (in her particular instance)some reason why they didn't have to reimburse her but I don't know what that reason was, but the precedent was set.
You could start a UK thread on this subject, I'm pretty sure there are some lawyers here.
If I can find out any more, I'll post.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:25 AM

A better threat would be to "Give me seat or I'll start listening to Les Barker on my walkman" - they'd only have to hear you laugh once and you'd get the whole compartment to your self.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:20 AM

Liz, instead of the sign reading "..or I'll faint on you" change it to read "..or I'll throw up* on you."

If you're talking about a stent via an angioplasty, they can hurt like hell and you're awake the whole time. I haven't had one, but that info is from several friends who have had.





*The wording is up to you. Alternatives include, but are not limited to: puke, vomit, toss my cookies, show you a technicolor yawn, be sick all over you, sail the narrow seas. Choose whatever you need to get the message across.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From:
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:18 AM

I went to the NHS website and this is the info I have found so far....

waiting times etc

could be interesting

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From:
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:14 AM

I ask them to move so that I can sit down....tell them to move because you need the seat Liz. Thats what I had to do today as the young woman was just staring at me.....should have given her a signed photo if I had one!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:11 AM

Interesting thought... will look into it as soon as I can!

Even more interesting thought - my employers HR section suggested I have a little day trip to an area where there is a nice hospital, do whatever it is I do to make myself faint (which these days is practically anything from getting up out of a chair too fast or walking up stairs) and when I'm taken into casualty to tell them what I'm waiting for and how long it's taking.. there's a fair chance they'll do it there and then!

And the third interesting thought - if I do opt for private treatment, it will be the same surgeon whose waiting list I'm on for the NHS treatment and I can have it done within 4 weeks!

I've a sneaky suspicion that the ruling only aplies to certain types of operation. I might be covered in that mine is a potentially life threatening (increased risk of stroke due to reduced oxygen to brain - yes I have one!) whereas poor Cats is only disabling and bloody annoying (her knee that is, the rest of her is fairly OK).


I'm just peeved because Cats gets the sympathy and the seat on the tube because she's got the crutches as a visible sign - a big sign that says 'heart condition, give me a seat or I'll faint on you!' doesn't really get the same sort of concern..... : )

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From:
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 05:27 AM

If it's true and you are waiting for more than 4 months for a surgical proceedure and you can then go private and bill the NHS I qualify too......will have too look into that one. Does anyone have any details of this and how Liz and I can find out???

Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:30 AM

Liz are the Glossy Merkins available for (ah - hmm) private bookings ? - I thought I saw some advertising - I think it was in a phone kiosk near Bow flyover.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:13 AM

Ballistick?

Domestick?

I suppose Spastick would be a bit too near the knuckle ...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: okthen
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 03:54 AM

LTS, wasn't there a recent legal ruling that anyone waiting longer than "a reasonable length of time" (4 months) for a surgical procedure could have the op done privately and send the bill to the NHS?
I think you might qualify.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 06:20 PM

Through the nose is one way they haven't discussed - through the chest or up the femoral artery yes, but nose, no.....

Cats has mastered (or should that be mistressed) the art of crutches, when she can wrest them from the grasp of Bratling - who, being a good 4 feet shorter looks more than a tad ridiculous.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Peg
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 11:31 AM

Sorry your knee is still giving you problems, Cat!   Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
You could get some super-glue and semi-precious stones like the ones sold in magick shops (tumbled amethyst, quartz, malachite, etc.) these are not too expensive and would look nice...

Liz: I hope you get the procedure you need soon! In this country you'd not only have to wait bu pay through thenose for it, even if insured (which I am not so dont ask)

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 04:51 AM

NHS = National Health Service - the free health care service that allegedly provides the same standard of care for everyone in the country, rich or poor.

I say allegedly because Tony Blair recently had an episode where he had palpitations and an irregular heartbeat. I've got the same problem.

He says he was treated on the NHS and walked out of hospital after a surgical procedure to correct it, 6 hours or so after being diagnosed. And it was on a Sunday, a day when ordinary people don't get appointments with consultants.

I'm waiting for the same procedure (day surgery, in an out in less than 8 hours, saves beds, shortens waiting lists), and have been doing so for 2 months so far, another 7 months to go. I was told I needed this procedure 19 months after my first admission to Casualty (ER) after fainting at work.

Of course, I'm not the Prime Minister, neither do I live in WC1, in the heart of London, where there are more than a dozen hospitals.

Whinge over.

And no, the Glossy Merkins will not be available for BarMitzvahs or weddings.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: open mike
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 06:34 PM

what's N.H.S.?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 06:28 PM

Im getting used to the sticks and I at least get a seat on the tube and buses!!!!!

I think I am going to get some material and wrap them although I have been told to spray paint them!!!!!

Thanks for the good thoughts

Love
Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Mudlark
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 03:30 PM

Better a walking stick than walking papers....

Sorry about the knee Cat, glad the need for the stick(s) will be temporary. I actually kind of like mine...there is a certain stance, leaning on cane splayed slightly away from body, opposite hip slightly sprung the other way, which looks quite sylish, even elegant. At least that's my story and I'm stick-ing to it!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: sian, west wales
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 03:07 PM

Further to Joe Offer's post - you could call it Buster. Introduced in an appropriately menancing way to people on the underground might get you a seat ...

So, could you rig this to be a washtub and some strings to give you a washtub base?

sian

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 02:44 PM

Heaven forbid - not the Glossy Merkins Variety Show?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 02:26 PM

Oh ye gods, 2 of them.... I've still got my pair under the stairs, we could work up a double act.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: selby
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 12:33 PM

I,m perplexed how does this stick walk? if it has sufficent training will it talk?
As for decoration locate your nearest electrical wholesaler, present him you stick and ask for some "heat shrink sleeving" place it over the stick, apply heat from a hair dryer to the sleeve, it wil then shrink to fit the walking stick (clever what) it is usually black, you can then decorate to your hearts content, when the stick has to go back with a sharp knife cut it off and hey presto a shiny aluminium one will reappear.
Keith

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: GUEST,KT, too lazy to sign on
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 10:54 AM

Khatt, get a string of white or colorful battery operated lights to wrap around that stick! "Tis the season to add more light!!! KT

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 10:46 AM

Gog and Magog?

Hey, Art! I've got some more Ole and Lena jokes! Bet Cat can use some. You started it, so go on ahead.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 03 - 10:43 AM

Homeless has a walking stick made from a bull's penis. Interesting item especially when he passes it around in a restaurant before identifying the source.

How about wrapping them in red and blue ribbon then adding a bunch of small yellow bows.?

Or black and white ribbons? You know, the old joke: What is black and white and black and white, etc.? A nun falling down the stairs. Sorry - it's been a difficult weekend. I will crawl back in my corner and try to behave.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: lady penelope
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 02:25 PM

Pain and Pleasure ?   ( I'll get me coat.....)

If you ever need someone to cart your pint about for you, I'm your girl. Of course there may be a small beer tax involved..........

TTFN Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 12:47 PM

Bind tightly with black satin ribbon with a bit of fabric glue here and there. Shouldn't damage the crutches. You could finish off with a depth of white ribbon so they look like wands!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:40 AM

One sample, and there are thousands...or is that en dere are tousans?

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:34 AM

Spanish Archers [El Bows]
Itchy and Sweaty.
Friars, as in Crutched Friars.
L.I.M.P ..Pronounced limp.

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From:
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:26 AM

Please do tell Art!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:18 AM

Aren't those called Swedish cruches? So call them Ole and Lena. Do UKers know about Ole and Lena?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Cobble
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM

Dont walk get a besom, fly everywhere and you could call it
ZOOM THE BROOME.

From expert walking stick user Cobble.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Allan C.
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 06:14 AM

You could call them Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Then you could somehow incorporate one of my favorite quotations, spoken by Tweedledum:

"I'm very brave, generally, only today I happen to have a headache."

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 05:50 AM

Hop & Scotch
Dexter and Sinister
Bow and Scrape
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 05:49 AM

Put a besom head around the bottom and write "Nimbus 2000" on it !

Sorry to hear that you're having problems, Cat. Still walking sticks are great for prodding people, or tripping them up. You can always get Micca to give you a piggy-back !

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From:
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 05:36 AM

Just got back from the physicalterrorists and they have given me a pair of elbow crutches so now I need two names.......

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 02:04 AM

Hi Cats - sorry about your knee - would bow strings not attach to it or would they object to the odd hole in it and then you could turn it into a low D whistle - alternatively what about one of those clip on animal things that clips onto things with its arms - thinking of you R&WR

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Nov 03 - 01:23 AM

Hi, Cat - I know a short guy who wears a cape, and he needs a little taming. If you bop him upside the head with that stick a few times a day, it might to him good...
Poor fellow.

Hope you won't need the cane for long, Cat.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 07:38 PM

Cats, forget them wimpy NHS things! Here ya go; do a search for 9-553.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Morticia
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 07:33 PM

I think you should call it Citizen.....and decorate it with misletoe; don't think of it as giving you 'age', think of it as giving you presence....

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Joybell
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:43 PM

Red ribbon as per Candy-cane for Christmas. I do wish I had a walking stick too!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Micca
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:36 PM

would that mean when she goes for a walk she could sing "Adeste Phiddleis"?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Cllr
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:20 PM

If you want, you can call it Phiddle (from your mudcat name) and then when you get exasperated with it you could shout...
"OH PHiddlestick"
8-)
Hugs cllr

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Tig
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 06:04 PM

Khatt - how about contacting Fretwell and seeing if he can come up with one more to your station?

Having seen what appeared for John I am certain he will oblige, then you can do anything you want with it - even turn it into a longer wand than usual :-).

Get a diary and keep ticking off the days to your op which hopefully will not be too far into the New Year.

Lots of love and hugs,
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{XXXXXXXX}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Bassic
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:54 PM

There is only one thing to do, go private!!! Buy a shooting stick then you can look sporty, be a little "dangerous" cos some of them have spikes on the end, and you can sit on it in crowded pubs and on the tube etc. Then you dont have to give it back and can decorate it how you like.

By the way, the NHS expects to loose a HUGE proportion of those Aluminium stiks it issues, just look in any lost property office and they are over run with the things!! (Not that I would be recomending that you "lost" it when you paint it black and attach the skull handle to it etc etc etc) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:47 PM

Oh... I SOOOO want a sword cane!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a chum who has a flask cane... it's very sweet too...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:46 PM

I knew someone who had a swordstick - mind you, I don't think they do those on the NHS.....

I'm sure we could knock up some cloth cover for it... complete with tatters of course!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:36 PM

Well, d'uh... why not NAME it Morris????

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Joybell
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:26 PM

Ah! cross-post. Bells AND ribbons!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:24 PM

Michael [Cane]
George [W Shrub}
Abel
You could decorate it with ribbons a la Morris Dancing.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Joybell
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 04:24 PM

Bells - lots of silver bells. Handy for jollying up a session too. Joy-of-the-belles.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:39 PM

Stickers, with some sort of spray fixative over them. Jenn suggests www.dover.com...she says they have an excellent collection of "Celtic" motif ones. Stencils with acrylic paint...no, paint's not allowed. Leather braiding or macrame on the handle. Sailors' knot work (Turk's head knot).

Does NHS expect this thing back? BTW, Jenn says to tell you she has a patient who keeps saying he wished he had the cane his Dad made him when he came back from WW2. 'Cane', also BTW, is American for a walking stick.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:37 PM

Then call it 'Baldwin' (They're all dumb as sticks anyway!)

Except some 'piano' people might get offended...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:31 PM

You can buy "holographic" decorative tape and "Go-Faster" stripes from car accessory shops. They ought to be removable if attacked carefully.
Or alternatively - look to Star Wars or Lord of the Rings for ideas in the light saber or staff mould. Mind you - I'm sure Micca will tel you that "You just can't get the Staff, these days!..."
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:28 PM

I did Clinton...Im thinking aloing the lines of a male name....so I can insult it..etc etc!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:26 PM

uh, Clinton....she asked for funny, not the same asinine crap you spout over and over again.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:26 PM

I'd imagine not more than that thing they put on the bottom for ice... It's sorta like a glorified bottle cap...

You don't like my name suggestion?

Heh

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:23 PM

mmmmm.....Im am allowed spikes???!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:22 PM

But you can use it to wave menacingly at people, you'll like that! Be dead handy for crowded Tube trains too, especially if you decorate it with spikes

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:10 PM

Name it Calista... (Flockheart?? LOL)

:-)

Subject: BS: catsPHiddle gets walking stick!!!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 03:03 PM

As some of you know I am waiting to have reconstructive surgery on my knee...and hopefully it will be sometime in the spring. Because the surgery is quite a major operation and I am finding it increasingly more difficult to walk, use stairs etc etc my consultant has told me I have to use a walking stick. Those of you that know me personally......yes I did ask for it black but the doctor didn't see the funny side of that, so I have been issued with an NHS walking stick!

I am asking you good people for ideas (not including paint coz they said no to that) on how to decorate this piece of metal which is to help me get around.....I need cheering up. I want to make it funny, to lift my spirits a bit as I am only 23 and I feel about 80 with this blasted stick. I will of course have to name it....any suggestions (clean as I have to take it to work) would be apprieciated!

Khatt