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MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:38 PM There used to be a swan who would come on board my boat every morning and bash on the cabin door with it's bill until I fed it. It wasn't the feeding that was the problem, it was the fact that it crapped all over the cockpit ! - I don't have a soft spot for swans at all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:47 PM Well, c'mon then Stilly, put on yer jingle bells and let's shimmy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM "Amber," says the chap in the chaps. "Alaskan Amber." And he holds out his mug. "Or Fat Tire. Or Black Butte. Or Firehouse. Or Polygamy. Or Provo Girl. Or Sierra Nevada. Actually, 'most anything except B*******r or C***s or S*****z or P****t or M*****s." He looks around and sees the smoked salmon. "Hot damn! Copper River or Bristol Bay?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM Copper River, of course! And I included a few steelhead from up the Stillaguamish River (naturally!) KimC, I think your idea with the zils (those finger cymbols used in belly dancing) was a good idea. The swan was annoyed enough by the high-pitched ringing that it has moved outside again, and seems to be hovering around by the back door. I think someone tossed some sultanas out onto the snow for it. The tub must have felt a bit too much like a stew pot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,freds Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:23 PM Thank you! We were not aware that you had Intergalactic Transponder Alarms! There's one over there, that little red button by the bar. Here, we'll push it and help will come and before you know it What? It's does what???? Oh, my. We're so very, very sorry. We simply haven't been the same since we inadvertently consumed Khandu. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 02:49 PM One of the cats is boosted up to a beam near the ceiling and cleverly bats at the leather traces to dislodge the harness from the spot where it landed. Better reset that trapeze harness--catsPHiddle hasn't even had a chance to try it on yet. We don't want her to see this tangle and fear testing it. I'm sure that her body weight is enough to prevent this little mishap from happening again. . .
The cat curls up on the intersection of a couple of beams and peers down at the gathering crowd. The smells of spicy pumpkin drinks and smoked meats, fish, and tofu drift up to the rafters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:13 PM Hi. I brought Turtles to go with the stout. Where's the stout? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM What kind of turtles? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:16 PM Well chocloate ones of course. You look disappointed Sage ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:30 PM Stout is in the second beer case from the back, third door to the left after you go behind the bar. Don't trip over the cat. White chocolate, milk, dark, or bitter? cashews,almonds, brazil nuts, or pistachios in those turtles? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:48 PM Pecans? Walnuts? If walnuts, English or black? Roasted or un? Inquiring minds want to know! And don't forget the dried fruits and caramel and nougat and.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Kim C Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:54 PM Mister's been brewing some double chocolate stout.... it should be ready by Christmas. It's mine mine mine but if y'all are really sweet, I might be convinced to share. Bring on the zils. I have an extra set if anyone needs some. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Donuel Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:17 PM Here's your virtual tree http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/Fir8.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:31 PM Here is a little one you can put on the end of the bar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:34 PM Hmmm, bar snacks....yummy, I love angelica and fresh cranberries. Those angelica strands, they were a bit.... well, piney.... and the cranberries were well, not so much tart as bloody sharp. Hang on, what's this in my teeth? Bloody tinsel? Get me back to that barrel and sod the quenciquonces! Mind you, if anyone wants the balloons blowing up, see me in about 6 pints time. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: My guru always said Date: 04 Dec 03 - 08:08 PM Poor old Camo, things won't be the same around here.... What a Ride, wondered what all those tassles did! Now, how do I get down from here? That smoked Salmon has my name on it & I didn't get to finish that Steak Tartare either. This calls for a cunning plan.... Any handy firefighters in the house wanna rescue a poor stray kitty? Meeoowwww..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM Carefully crawling throught the tiny hole in the northern corner comes SINSULL, hair coiffed, silk vested suit and high heels. She appears slightly disoriented and almost drops the deep dish pizza she is juggling along with a lap top, a calculator, and a pocket protector. "Help me" she mumbles. "Please help me." They are making me jump up and down chanting "I feel healthy! I feel happy! I feel terrific!" Actually, I think I am going to puke... She skulks over to a dark table in a darker corner and grabs a double JD on the rocks along the way. F**Kin' sales seminars! Just a moment's peace without the motivational noise track. Please. Just one moment's peace. And maybe a banjo tune??? Before they take me back... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Tinker Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:59 PM SINS... just who are you working for???? That's the line they started us with back when I learnt to sell dictionaries !!!! Course I did end up meeting my husband out of that deal.... Come on girl lets just get you slid into the hot tub and bring all of that energy to a place of dissipation.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:14 PM My thought exactly. Sounds like a good soak and some good music will put you to rights. (Me, I snuck out back and cooked a batch of homemade ravioli for my kids--they loved it and I feel great at their pleasure with the meal.) Come to think of it, I think I'll join you.
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: artbrooks Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:58 PM Hummmm...the East India Company paper is off to a good start, and the one on politics in medieval Italian towns is starting to perk...time for a good brain flush! Did anybody bring some Arrogant Bastard Ale? Who said that Rapaire was drinking Rocky Mountain Panther Piss? Never happen! Room for me in the hot tub? I promise to leave my shorts on, out of consideration for public decency. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM Robin wanders in with a Quince Tart |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:59 AM Kat - I know that you've been drinking the FFL and that crutch and crotch sound similiar, but I really think you shouldn't do that in polite company ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:05 AM "No, no thanks, no hot tub right now. My rapier would get rusty, my boots would be first squishy and then unbendable, and it would play pure hell with the angora chaps. You do know that the "ch" sound in "chaps" is pronounced "sh", don't you? Anyway, sudden chaps shrinkage turned many a cowboy into a surprised soprano. The only preventives for catastrophic castration are either dry chaps or plate armor underwear. And the underwear can rust, positively preventing peepee and so I opt for dry chaps. I've learned all sort of Western Lore. Maybe later, thanks. Another tankard of RMPP, por favor." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: InOBU Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:16 AM Dave your swan story reminds me of when I was chief mate on a cattle boat (excursion boat...) a wooden working boat from 1910, a ketch used for dredging oysters... but I digress. Genie and I would be awakened by someone pacing the deck at night. and in the morning there would be HUGE bird droppings. It was a big ugly brown oily Greeb, who considered the boat his own. Like you, I could live with the heavy pacing, but the bird crap was impressive, but then again, the boat, being wooden, had to be washed down several times a day anyway... but swan crap in the cockpit, I can just emagine... wasail Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:35 AM The Duck emerges from underneath a pile of coats, where he appears to have fallen asleep during a quiet stretch. SINSULL - Did you ask for banjo tunes. I think there's some on the Juke Box. He looks around the bar and spies the trapeze harness. Hey - is that for the cabaret? I heard that Dave Bryant was trying to book the Glossy Merkins Variety Show for a private function. Didn't realise it was for this party... Did he manage it, or are we just goint to have to put up with Gareth and the pantomime sheep again? Is there any chance you can rustle up a pint of Timothy Taylor's Porter? Ah, nectar... Ta. Quack! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:39 AM Swans? Swans? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:39 AM Glossy Merkins are still awaiting payment for the last gig they did.... them crotchless crutches cost you know! And then there's the shampoo and the insect repellant..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:08 AM Liz - Not to mention the deodorant spray and fire extinguisher as you've been drinking the Jockstrap's "Santa's Old Bollocks". I tell what - I'll polish up your merkin for you. Geoff - why settle for Timothy Taylor's when there's Nissed Pewt's FFL on offer - just look and see how relaxed Kat is - good lord I never thought it was possible to do that with a full length pair of crutches ! I'm on my second quart and watch - I can F-l-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y - c-r-a-s-h - Oh Shit ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: SINSULL Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM soaking...soaking...what the mind of man cab conceive and believe he can achieve...hMMMMMM Isn't that what Paw and Cletus are always saying? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:21 AM I found this pin-up on the Desert Island thread - let's stick it up on the wall of the gent's bog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:53 AM Okay. And here's one for the women's loo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:03 PM Liz - can't you get NHS crutches instead??? You could use them for swatting the insects! Quack! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:16 PM Barkeep! I'd like some of Rustic Rebel's pumpkin pie drink. Can you put something in for a little kick? And a slice of that quince tart, please. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:20 PM Oh, dammit, I told Calvin Klein not to use my picture!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM What, pray-tell, were you doing in the women's loo? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Cluin Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:44 PM The guy looks a little deformed. Did somebody whack him in the gut with an axe? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 05 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM Just my face. I just peeked in and Calvin Klein took my picture. Then he puts it on some sort of alien body. Just you wait, Calvin baby, just you wait! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 05 Dec 03 - 02:34 PM How's the wyvern coming along, and did you say you were going to do some auroch this year, MMario? Is that music I hear coming from outside? It's about time! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:50 PM So where's the guy for real women then? He looks a real action man, all flock hair and no genitals. Give us someone like http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?aid=384362&item=307259 to look at.... Back in a while... slurp LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: moonglow Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:01 PM Kicking snow off her boots, Moonglow wanders in carrying a large jar of pickled herring and a handful of birds. Peg- Here's the quail you wanted, and sorry if you wanted the tag number, it was pretty dark when I picked them up. Moon slides the jar onto the counter and plops down next to a cat in front of the fireplace. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:23 PM Ahh, that's better.. .anyone got a cigarette I can bum? mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Move over, pusscat, I need the beer! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 05 Dec 03 - 09:46 PM Moonglow, slide that jar of herring over here, please! Barkeep, slide me a fork! Thanks! (And Moonglow, if your quail reference is to Bailey White, I love that essay!) I haven't wanted to hover too much in here, though I have busied myself by throwing a lot of balls into the air. What I'm really hoping is that catsPHiddle will come by and test out that trapeze gizmo. It has real potential to be the life of the party, so to speak, if she can dance a jig. But since she's not around, maybe I can convince another |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: MAG Date: 05 Dec 03 - 09:56 PM Ah, here I am with my virtual knee braces, in my perennial search for a man who can waltz. I might look big, but I am very light on my feet. Just don't steer us anywhere near that wet floor by the hot tub. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Ralphs Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM Har! Greetings, Mudcat people! Har! In case you haven't met us, we are Ralphs. Har! Ralphs are the most annoying race of more-or-less humanoid types in the known Universe. Har! What's so annoying about Ralphs is that we say "Har!" at the end of every sentence. Har! It really starts to get on people's nerves after a while. Har! We just noticed that those stinking freds had stopped by to wish you happy holidays, so we thought we'd do the same. Har! So... Happy Harlidays! Har! Har! Har! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: moonglow Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM -looks around to see if anyone is watching- Moon straps herself into the harness, cautiously pushes the red button, and is flipped into the air. Sitting in the rafters, she looks down at the party and pets a cat who happens to be up there too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM Naw! That pinup guy'll never work. You know Mudcat wimmen like old farts with beards. Well... maybe it's not so much likin' 'em as feelin' sorry for 'em. Sorta like stray Golden Retrievers. By the way, what's a Golden and why did they have to breed a special kind of dog just to retrieve 'em? Wouldn't Labrador Retrievers have worked just as well? Just get 'em to go retrieve a few Goldens after they've finished retrieving Labrador. Somebody pass me a banjo and I'll shut up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dead Horse Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:18 AM Somebody mention "Old farts with beards"? Taint no way to talk about my wife! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Peg Date: 06 Dec 03 - 10:19 AM Old farts with beards? Hmm, maybe in a few years! though there's a young one with a beard I like more and more: Karl Urban, who plays Eomer in Return of the King. Yummy! (I saw it on Thursday at a press screening). Quail? I do not know the literary reference, but I would be happy to have a goat cooking the little things. My dad used to raise them in our garage. I can't remember why. He raised chinchilla for a time, too. I think these birds would do nicely if we rub them with garlic and olive oil, crushed thyme, black pepper and coarse salt, and spit-roast them over the fire...no forks and knives allowed, hands only! very Henry the Eighth... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:24 PM Or even better, Very Tom Jones! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM Robin can be seen playing the Comb. |
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