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BS: Santa is dead!!

Red and White Rabbit 11 Dec 03 - 02:37 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Dec 03 - 02:49 PM
Cluin 11 Dec 03 - 02:50 PM
Amos 11 Dec 03 - 02:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Dec 03 - 03:20 PM
Peace 11 Dec 03 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM
Gareth 11 Dec 03 - 04:52 PM
okthen 11 Dec 03 - 04:59 PM
GUEST,Clint Keller 11 Dec 03 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 03 - 05:57 PM
GUEST,Santa Cruz 11 Dec 03 - 06:08 PM
Peter T. 11 Dec 03 - 06:44 PM
Amos 11 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM
JennyO 11 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM
McGrath of Harlow 11 Dec 03 - 08:58 PM
McGrath of Harlow 11 Dec 03 - 09:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Dec 03 - 10:36 PM
Wilfried Schaum 12 Dec 03 - 04:24 AM
Dave Bryant 12 Dec 03 - 04:34 AM
mooman 12 Dec 03 - 04:39 AM
Sweetfia 12 Dec 03 - 08:26 AM
Kim C 12 Dec 03 - 11:47 AM
GUEST,MC Fat 12 Dec 03 - 12:08 PM
wilbyhillbilly 12 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM
Mrs.Duck 12 Dec 03 - 08:34 PM
Firecat 12 Dec 03 - 11:14 PM
Tam the Bam (Nutter) 13 Dec 03 - 07:34 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 03 - 10:04 AM
GUEST,Ghost of Santa 13 Dec 03 - 12:41 PM
Peace 13 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM
Uncle_DaveO 13 Dec 03 - 07:25 PM
Joe_F 14 Dec 03 - 12:13 PM
GUEST,Donna, not Donner 14 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM
Naemanson 14 Dec 03 - 07:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Dec 03 - 08:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Dec 03 - 08:31 PM
Joe_F 14 Dec 03 - 10:10 PM
Red and White Rabbit 15 Dec 03 - 02:20 AM
mooman 15 Dec 03 - 05:17 AM
Dave Bryant 15 Dec 03 - 06:43 AM
Sweetfia 15 Dec 03 - 07:53 AM
GUEST,MC Fat 15 Dec 03 - 08:33 AM
Cluin 15 Dec 03 - 02:19 PM
Gareth 15 Dec 03 - 05:32 PM
Wilfried Schaum 05 Jan 04 - 11:29 AM
Cluin 05 Jan 04 - 01:00 PM
YorkshireYankee 05 Jan 04 - 07:23 PM
Ebbie 05 Jan 04 - 09:59 PM
Peace 05 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM
Cluin 05 Jan 04 - 11:10 PM
Dave Bryant 06 Jan 04 - 11:34 AM
GUEST,THE REAL SANTA 06 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM
GUEST,krisk 06 Jan 04 - 07:32 PM
Dave Bryant 07 Jan 04 - 07:08 AM

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Subject: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:37 PM

I am in total shock my 11 year old son has told me Santa doesnt exist and my other son tells me he's dead as he lived too long ago to still be alive. Is this true? Will Xmas not come this year? will I not get the man of my dreams in my stockings?


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:49 PM

Did you want to get the man of your dreams in your stockings? (which doesn't seem to require santa) or in your Christmas Stocking ?

What do kids know, anyway!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:50 PM

Yup!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:54 PM

Now that is downright cruel!! LOL!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 03:20 PM

Cruel, yes. But damn nice stonework (even if it is just Photoshop).


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Peace
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 03:25 PM

Jaysus: Do the kids know about the Easter Bunny? However, trust me on this one: They'll be workin' the Tooth Fairy as long as possible. Maybe there's a good trade there: Ya want the Tooth Fairy--she comes with Santa. Matched set.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM

No, I think that the stone is genuine. It seems to be a laser-etched scene, name, and dates on a peice of black, possibly Georgia or Rock of Ages. The stone is also wet, which makes it hard to tell what sort of stone it is. I'm certain that it's not Georgia gray; could be Barre or something imported (not Swedish Black, that'd be too expensive). The colors are gonna fade, since they're "paint" and I wonder if the picture will be there at all in an century or so in the weathering.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Gareth
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:52 PM

A tragic Blue on Blue.

No flight path filed.

Failed to answer radio interogation on recognised frequencies.

Om a visual examination by interceptor aircraft, Target failed to respond to internationally recoginised manouvers to descend and land.

As this reindeer powered object was on a direct course for an urban area a weapons lock was aquired on the infra red radiation from the nose of the leading reindeer.

Further attempts to communicate were met with the response "Ho Ho Ho"

Two Air to Air Missiles were fired.

The target then went into a steep dive, from which it did not recover.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: okthen
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:59 PM

We in the UK have known this for some while, apparently gored to death by reindeer. (Coutesy of the Likely Lads, a UK sitcom, written by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais)


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:55 PM

He only sleeps.

clint


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:57 PM

Iffen he's really under that rock I'll betcha 8 to 5 he's gonna have a hard time gettin' up.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,Santa Cruz
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 06:08 PM

Yo! Like, dudes and dudettes! Chill! Don't be worryin' about that old fart bein' dead. Santa Cruz and his buddy Elf Dude have got th' situation under control. We got Christmas in the bag over here at the West Pole. Hell, me an' Elf Dude's about half in the bag too. Know what I mean?

All you Mudcattin' types been sendin' us them cards an' letters an' I been tryin' real hard to stay sober an' not screw up yer orders. Still gotta work a few things out though. Like lotsa you cats askin' fer geetars an' such get purty damn picky about whatcha want there. Dude, like, what's the dif between a SJ an' a OM? Don't they, like, both have six strings on 'em? An' them geetar strings! Jeezus H. Christ! Why they gotta make so many different ones? Maybe I need to hire a special helper just for you guys. Whoa! Dude! What a concept! Hire some cat that really knows his shit so I can go back to drinkin'!

An' I really need to get ridda these raindeer an' get some decent reliable transportation. Problem with raindeer is they don't fly worth a damn if it ain't rainin' an then all the shit gifts get wet.

We be seein' ya'll. Got any ideas fer who might won't that job?

Santa Cruz


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 06:44 PM

He lives in the hearts of corporate marketers everywhere. yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM

Oh, Peter!!! How could you confuse two such different organs???

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM

Well I guess it's time to bring this one out:

"Christmas has been cancelled"

Tune: Lili Marlene

Words: Paul Mortimer

Christmas has been cancelled,
Santa Claus is dead.
When the scandal broke
He put a bullet through his head.
Pinned to his chest they found a note
Admitting what - the papers wrote:
That he was on the payroll
Of Toltoys and K-tel.

It was bigger still than Lockheed
Worse than Watergate.
Kids throughout the world
Called for his head upon a plate
The myth was destroyed and in its wake,
Old Santy stood there a callous fake.
And evidence is mounting
That he was C.I.A.

The Church it tried to brand him
A charlatan and worse.
The Pope said 'Keep off Christmas, mate,
We used that number first,
As a time when all good Christians sing
Of Jesus Christ and cribs and things.
Of course it's only bulldust
To get the faithful in.'

Further allegations
Have made the papers wail,
That Santa's love for children
Was way beyond the pale,
He always liked to give out toys
To little girls and little boys.
It seems that he was harmless
But some don't understand.

Well we can still be jolly
And celebrate New Year,
And we'll be nice to other folks
More than once a year.
With no tinsel trees or plastic snow
Or jingle bells or yo ho ho's.
And no more f***ing reindeer
Or little drummer boys.

Repeat first verse.

Jenny


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:58 PM

In a shop yesterday. I noticed an excited little boy pointing at me, and heard his mother telling him "No, he's not Father Christmas". But I could tell he didn't really believe her.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:12 PM

I wasn't bragging there, because I'm not alone in having this kind of thing happen around this time of year - and summer folk festivals sometimes feel like Father Christmas conventions.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 10:36 PM

Yeah. I get the "Look, Mommy! It's Santa Claus!" all the time. I even had a kid try to crawl into my lap and tell me what he wanted for Christmas. Kinda cute. But kinda weird because it happened in July.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:24 AM

Research in the Physics Dept. comes to the sad conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Sorry
Wilfried


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:34 AM

McGrath - looks like you could be in luck if you fancy getting into Rabbit's stockings - she might insist on you climbing down a chimney though, and you could end up having to duel with McFat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: mooman
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:39 AM

Please tell me it isn't true...

A shocked moo


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:26 AM

My dad told me he didn't exist when i was about 5, the bastard broke my heart!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:47 AM

Pshaw! Don't y'all know that Santa and Elvis are the same person?


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:08 PM

Santa is dead .... get over it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: wilbyhillbilly
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM

Well he must be dead, cos I was asked to stand in for him just last weekend at the local village Kids Christmas Party.

I am definitely not going to apply for full time, even though the hours are good, whew!! some of them kids.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:34 PM

So who fills my stocking every year huh huh? And why do ALL my kids wake me at 4 am to show me what they got? (eldest 19) Those presents must have got there somehow and I certainly couldn't afford to buy them all!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Firecat
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:14 PM

Don't be nasty!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Tam the Bam (Nutter)
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 07:34 AM

I beleive in Santa Claus, and I'm 38 years old. So I'm shocked to find out that he's dead, I just hope not.

Tom Frae Saltcoats.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 10:04 AM

I'll betch Santa is surprised as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,Ghost of Santa
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:41 PM

I could rest a lot easier if I knew for sure that Tim Allen (Dick) wouldn't be playing me in the movies anymore. He was always on my naughty list.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM

Sana is dead. Long live Santa.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 07:25 PM

I learned last year that male reindeer shed their antlers in the early winter, and females don't shed them until perhaps February. Therefore, going by the pictures we see of Santa's sleigh and team, all of his reindeer are female.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 12:13 PM

First you learn there is no Santa Claus. Then you learn there is no God. Then you learn there are no grownups.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,Donna, not Donner
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM

Of course we're all female. How else do you think he can cover the whole globe in one night? He is, after all, a man so he refuses to ask for directions. And it takes several of us nagging him to drag his fat furry butt out of the first bar we come to.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Naemanson
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 07:24 PM

All those who say he's dead are on his Naughty List. Those of us who believe in him are on his Good List.

I've made my decision, now you make yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 08:22 PM

Pacal's Wager Applied to Santa Claus

Either there is a Santa Claus or there is not a Santa Claus. I may choose to believe in Santa Claus or not.

If I do not believe in Santa Claus and there is no Santa Claus then nothing will happen, good or bad. I don't expect to get presents and I won't.

If I do not believe in Santa Claus and there is a Santa Claus then something bad will happen. Other kids will get presents but I won't.

If I do believe in Santa Claus and there is a Santa Claus then something good will happen. I will get presents.

If I do believe in Santa Claus and there is no Santa Claus then something good will still happen. Because I believe in Santa Claus I will be a good boy in hopes that I will get presents.

So, even if there is no Santa Claus, believing in him is still the safest bet.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 08:31 PM

That's supposed to be Pascal's Wager above. Damned uneditable message board.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 10:10 PM

Let A be the sentence "If A is true, then Santa Claus exists".
Suppose that A is true, that is, suppose that if A is true then Santa
Claus exists. Then, since A is true, Santa Claus exists. Thus, we
have shown that *if* A is true, then Santa Claus exists. But that is
precisely the sentence A. Hence, A is true. Hence, Santa Claus
exists.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 02:20 AM

well I am lost on all the santa claus theories of relativities and that picture of his grave must have been a hoax I am sure I would have heard - I taught santa sign language last year and I feel Mrs Claus would have let me know - about the tooth fairy - theory doesnt pan out as 5 year old daughter informed me it was parents who left moeny there - I was lucky we had just been to see elf the movie so I remeinded her that if she didnt believe there was a likelihood when her teeth fall out that the tooth fairy wont arrive - they only have to say there is no easter bunny know and my whole belief system will be destroyed -

MCfat - he's not... not....NOT DEAD! and he knows where the teaspoons socks and pens and handkerchiefs disappear to!! - why do you think you always get these as Xmas presents!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: mooman
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 05:17 AM

On the basis that all human thoughts are essentially illusory in nature, this put Santa in the same category as all other perceptions. So as I perceieve I am typing this message, Santa must exist in the same way that my typing does. Therefore, although illusory, Santa must be as real as my own perceived actions at this moment.

Peace,

moo (who's thoroughly metaphysically confused himself now and who must go and take his medicine)


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:43 AM

Would you want a job where you only came once a year - and that was down a chimney ?

Rabbit - I've got a whitish beard and have been called Santa - do you want me to become aquainted with your stockings ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Sweetfia
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 07:53 AM

I will believe that he is dead when somebody shows me his grave.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 08:33 AM

You'll be telling me next that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist !!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 02:19 PM

Not no more.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Gareth
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 05:32 PM

Awwwww !


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:29 AM

Running through Cluin's link I found a picture to shock mooman even more (sorry).

with due respect I am
Your Mooity's most obdt. servant
Wilfried


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 01:00 PM

Santa's not dead, but it may be a while before we see him again.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 07:23 PM

I don't actually remember this myself, but my parents tell me that we had the following conversation (when I was 7 or so):

Me: Is Santa Claus for real?

Mom & Dad: Erm... well... what do YOU think?

Me: I think I'd like to believe in him for one more year.

My folks had no objections...


Cheers,

YY


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 09:59 PM

When my daughter was about 6, she came to me and said, Mama, I know about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny- but there is a Tooth Fairy. Isn't there?

Knowing I couldn't lie to her, I stalled. I said, Well, what do you think?

Mournfully, she said, Oh, no...


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:07 PM

If there is no Tooth Fairy, who puts the money under the pillow? Answer that!


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:10 PM

My pet crow.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 11:34 AM

Some years back I was over in The Netherlands (I won't call it Holland because I was actually in Friesland) just before Christmas and Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) was visiting the town. This is an annual event and each city/vtown/village will have it's allotted date.
His costume is similiar to our Santa, but rather more elaborate and ornate and of course he carries a sack full of toys for good children. The main difference is that he doesn't come alone, but is accompanied by Black Peter who also carries a sack - to take naughty children away in ! I rather like the "carrot and stick" philosophy - I gather that children are much more easily convinced that Black Peter is real !


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,THE REAL SANTA
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 12:23 PM

I am not dead, I shall never die, because I live in hearts and minds of parents,and children, who despite wars, horrors and modern technology, social engineering, historical revisionizm, want a little fantasy, happiness and love at least one day a year. Santa rides hard, and puts his reindeer away wet every year to provide that.


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: GUEST,krisk
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 07:32 PM

hey great link..
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/antiameri.html


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Subject: RE: BS: Santa is dead!!
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 07:08 AM

The middle slogan is rather ambiguous - it only needs a couple of full stops . . . . . . .


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