BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura

Subject: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 11:32 AM

I have lifted the following from another forum. Apologies if this has already been posted here.

......................................................................

Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that (Leviticus 18:22) clearly states it to be an abomination.

End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in (Exodus 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. (Lev. 25:44) states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. (Lev. 21:20) states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev.19:27). How should they die?

9. I know from (Lev.11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:05 PM

F#ck Dr Laura!

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:11 PM

More postcards from the Asylum. (Sigh).


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Tweed
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 12:58 PM

Amos,the mystery iz solved! Ms Penelope Rootwall iz in actuallmnet none other than

DR.LAURA!!

Yerz,
Tweed
MOAB.org

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: GUEST,Ghost of Leviticus
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 01:19 PM

Jeez, you people! I wrote that stuff as a joke! A joke!

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Mudlark
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 05:41 PM

What Clinton said...

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Hrothgar
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 03:43 AM

Well, if you really have to kill people for these transgressions, the Good Book seems to stick pretty close to stoning and burning (with the occasional crucifixion for special offenders). Floods seem to be the prerogative of higher suthority.

Best of luck in making your decisions.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Dead Horse
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 04:06 PM

I shall only post once to this thread, lest I be turned into a pillar of salt.
All catters are damned unto eternity, for going disguised as animals.
Lev.(?)
That's yer Lot.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: RangerSteve
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 06:36 PM

Doctor Laura didn't honor her mother (one of the commandments). But there's an eleventh commandment, not in the Bible, and known only to religious conservatives, that states that these laws don't apply to you, personally, only to everyone else. And only when it's convenient for you.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Mickey191
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 12:08 AM

Steve, You ar right about the bad relationship with her Mom. So much for "Do as I say, Not as I do."

She lost a tv show a few years ago because of her homophobic preachments. She was picketed & there was a brief episode of people boycotting her sponsors.I actually heard her tell a woman on her radio show to not marry. It seems the fellow had been an alcoholic & had been a Member of A.A. for a couple of years.The girl was wondering if he was really cured. The good Dr. said she doubted it--"They" almost always fall back to their old habits.

Kinda shooting herself in the foot, since her job is changing people's destructive habits. She's a piece of work.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: beadie
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:00 PM

Hrothgar:

Crucifixion was actually a favorite pastime of the (pagan) Romans and other more civilized nations. While it is prominently mentioned in the Bible, it was not actually recommended or "officially" sanctioned by the Jewish hierarchy.

   I think that had something to do with its labor intensive nature (it takes a fair amount of carpenter's time and exectuioner's labor to actually crucify someone) and the fact that it was a bunch more expensive than simply picking up some good-sized rocks and casting them in the direction of the condemned.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 05:13 AM

RangerSteve - you are wrong about the eleventh commandment, it actually is:
Thou shalt not get caught !

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 06:27 AM

I stand corrected.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 02:22 AM

Dave,
there were actually three tablets of stone, but Moses dropped one with some other commandments on them ... which is why Christians are often missing something...

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 11:16 PM

The Commandment weren't commandments at all! They were committments...general indications or forecasts of what tends to happen naturally when a person advances spiritually:

He/she doesn't steal, lie, give false witness, murder, dishonour parents, cheat on spouses, and so on...fairly simple stuff.

Anyone who reads the Bible or any other ancient religious text and tries to live NOW by every literal word in the book is directly on the way to living the life of a lunatic. And that would probably be equally true of someone who picked up a really good 1995 psychology book...2,000 or 3,000 years from now...and tried to live by their literal understanding of every translated word, phrase, and colloquial idiom in that book!!!!

LOL! Talk about a guaranteed path to disaster. But lazy people don't really want to think for themselves...they just want to be told what to do. Organized religion and organized government rely heavily upon that weakness in people.

Dr Laura is clearly a dinosaur, who hasn't grasped concepts as subtle as the ones I have suggested above.

Human culture doesn't stand still, it constantly evolves and modifies itself...just as do physical creatures.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:04 AM

I've never heard of her but I liked the letter sent to her. I wonder if she read it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 12:12 AM

Little Hawk,
many years ago when much younger, and I can't recall the title or author, I read a SF story about the "After WWIII" Religion that was based on "the sacred book" - which was a Lift Maintenence Manual - I will admit it changed my phiosophical outlook... :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM

Something I've often wondered is why fanatical Christians -- you all know the ones I mean (usually right wing as well) -- base their belief so much more in the Old Testament than in the New. They seem to be excessively judgmental, usually support whatever war their country is fighting, tend to be condemnatory of those who are not like themselves (homosexuals, liberal thinkers, unmarried mothers, etc.), intolerant to the nth degree, and into vengeance, smiting and retribution.

Where are the gentle teachings of Jesus in the spoutings of these folk? Where is the compassion, love, tolerance and kindness that Christ preached?

I'm not a Christian, nor religious at all. But I was raised with it, and know that "Judge not lest ye yourself be judged," is good doctrine. The Golden Rule is good doctrine: in fact, it encompasses enough that all other rules could be tossed.

But all I ever hear from rabid rightwing Christians is punishment, hellfire and damnation, and that they get to decide who is a sinner.

Some Christianity that is!

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Gurney
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 02:05 AM

Saw that letter on the web about a year ago, complete with the biblical references... What a frightening book both the Old Testament and its Jewish original are, and what a worry it is that some people think that such ancient guidelines can apply today. I have no problem with the 10 commandments, but to consider that it is a mortal sin to sew your buttons on with a different thread, or practise birth control...
The other worry is that so many extremists of every stripe can accept SOMEONE ELSES interpretation of any sacred book, instead of reading it for themselves and letting common sense percolate.
Maybe they are extremists BECAUSE they have no common sense.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 07:29 AM

One the other hand, most of my Jewish friends (whose sacred book is the Old Testament) are neither right wing nor are they the sort of people who take things at black/white face value.

I used to live with a Jewish lady and I got to see how pragmatic their religion tended to be. In the passover service, there often seem to be slightly different ways of explaining things according to various talmudic authorities. On at least two occasions, I was pressed-ganged into a "minyan" for prayers - even though I'm not Jewish - it seems that being an adult male was the only qualification needed in an emergency. Jewish descent is via the female parent (except for Cohens) which makes good sense as it's much easier to prove who is the mother than the father - and it also provided a way of allowing outside genes into the group. There are all sorts of ways that Jews can get round the spirit of the law without contravening the letter of it - starting to cook a (very liquid) stew on a very low heat, just before the Sabath starts, so that they can have a hot meal (thick stew by then) on the Saturday without the need to kindle fire.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Kent Davis
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 01:08 AM

Laura Schlesinger is not, and does not claim to be, a Christian. If you don't like her, please don't blame the Christians.

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:23 PM

There are many different varieties of Christian out there from the very liberal to the very conservative, so this isn't a matter of dissing Christians, per se. Dr Laura, however, is apparently using Leviticus as authority to back up her opinion of homosexuality, so what does she think she is? A Muslim? An orthodox Jew? A Christian fundamentalist? What?

If she is none of those, how can she use Leviticus as her authority?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: PeteBoom
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:43 PM

She converted to Judaism several years ago.

She is a model of the "I know what I'm talking about because I'm talking and I'm right and everyone who does not agree is an idiot or ignorant or worse a leftist commie liberal traitor to our country and should be dealt with harshly" school of radio "entertainment."

Of course, as Garrison Keillor once said, "Conservatives are merely liberals who have not had therapy yet."

Cheers -

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: The Word, according to Dr Laura
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 04:49 PM

. . . . For instance, one might examine the attitudes and teaching of Christ, himself.

"Love thy neighbor?" sounds like another version of the sexual revolution, to me.

"Give all you have to the poor?" !!!! Welfare !!!

"Turn the other cheek?"   -   wimpy-ass and likely gay, to boot

"Go and sin no more"    -    Damn soft-on-crime pinko

"He who is without sin, cast the first stone" - see above