Bad Christmas music

Subject: Bad Christmas music
From: RangerSteve
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 06:15 PM

This has been brought up before, but it's time to do it again.

So far this year, I haven't heard "Blue Christmas". I had a close call yesterday. There's a listener-supported radio station here that has mostly good country music on Saturdays, and when I turned it on, the announcer mentioned that he just played the Ernest Tubb version. I thought I had escaped. But, later on, someone called in to request it again (maybe they didn't hear the first one), so they played Stonewall Jackson's version, (I'm disappointed in Mr. Jackson, I always liked his music) but fortunately, it was announed in advance, so I turned off the radio for a few minutes. A couple of hours later, they played an old recording of a Christmas radio show by Wilf Carter. Just as I was getting relaxed by Carter's perfect voice, those dreaded words"I'll have a blue..." before I realized what was coming and turned it off again. Why, Wilf, why?

Last night, while getting ready to go on with my band at a regular monthly gig, the band on stage before us sang "Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas". The other Bad Christmas song.

I assume that in the next couple of weeks I'll be hearing Blue Christmas, probably the worst version, that of Elvis. It always happens. There is no escaping Blue Christmas.

Now, it's your turn. What song Xmas song deserves to die?

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 06:38 PM

I don't really hear bad Christmas songs, but anything done by a country singer, MTV, karaoke, or sung at a large sporting event sends me running.

On the other hand, anything sung by children is OK.

I used to hate anything done by a saxophone, but heard a few jazz pieces that were OK.

I pretty much tune out all the mall/WalMart noise.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 07:09 PM

Keep in mind that Wilf Carter singing anything dates back to when the song was new! (Gotta defend Montana Slim, my second hero)

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Barry T
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 07:58 PM

I'm... like... totally... entertained when pop singers on the current top 40 attempt to sing a Christmas song.

'Gives new meaning to the term "Quit while you're ahead!"

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: RangerSteve
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 08:15 PM

Ebbie, He's one of my favorites, that's why I was so upset on hearing him do such a bad song. I'm sure he did a good job, I just couldn't bare to listen to it.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 14 Dec 03 - 08:20 PM

There's a song I found called "Christmas Shoes" which is a fine example of horrid songwriting... it could go... I wouldn't mind... And Lou Montes, "Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey" could go as well...

Other than that, I'm fine with whatever X-mas music is on...

"Maybe it's always time, for another Christmas Song"
-Jethro Tull-

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM

Meli Kelikilacka

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dani
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM

There's a version of "O Holy Night" making the rounds on the internet. I don't know who sings it, and for his sake I have to hope it's a joke. But when my husband played it for me I put a pillow over my head and howled 'til I couldn't hear it any more.

Dani

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:05 AM

Anything where animals bark, meow, grunt or snort out my favorite Christmas songs.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Peter T.
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:08 AM

"The Little Drummer Boy" is the worst. "Prumpapumpum" -- where is an AK-47 when you need it?

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Micca
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:11 AM

would this qualify??? Christmas song

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas Music
From: GUEST, GEST
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:15 AM

I have an aversion to Randy Brook's 1977 hit, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. After all, Grandpa sure doesn't care, sitting there watching football, drinking beer and playing cards. Why should anyone else? She was only laying dead outside all night. Arrgh.... ;-p

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:29 AM

The Little Drummer Boy is the woest. I run for cover every time it comes on. It is just sooooooo boring and usuually it is very badly sung.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:30 AM

I've always had an aversion to "Away in a Manger", even when sung by my own kids!

Add to that anything "festive" by Cliff Richard, the appalling "Last Christmas I Gev you my Heart" by whoever.

For good measure, any "christmas song" sung or played other than during the seven days preceding December 25th.

As an antidote, I offer Paddy Roberts' "Merry Christmas, you suckers", Tom Lehrer's Christmas song or, if you really like PROPER Christmas Carols, any arrangement by John Rutter.

Alan

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: black walnut
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:50 AM

Maybe I shouldn't admit this...but I like Drummer Boy. I start making up cool rhythms in my feet when it's playing in Zellers. What I really don't like is Frosty the Snowman, and unfortunately it's one of those songs that churns around in my brain on an hourly basis at this time of the year. Sometimes I let out a howling scream in the Barbie aisle, and Frosty disappears for a few minutes. Not for very long, but long enough for me to hum a few bars of Jingle Bell Rock, at least.

~b.w.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Mooh
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM

I went through a period of tolerance when the kids were little but now I roundly dislike virtually all popish Christmas music. It's usually so soulless, so trite, and so distracting.

Current favourite is Simon Mayor's Winter With Mandolins. Buy it.

Peace on Earth, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM

Now, it doesn't take much, I know. But is this bad music at Christmas? Music for a bad Christmas? Bad, as in good? Or bad, as in bad?

And Micca, you are one sick bunny...;-)

Cheers
DtG
And away you Santa, my dear Anna...

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 10:00 AM

Doesn't take much to confuse me (or put me off what I am rabbiting about apparantly) btw.

:D

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Steve-o
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 12:49 PM

White Christmas is far ickier than Blue Christmas. The only version worth listening to is the Three Tenors, where Pavarotti sings sort of "phonetically"....."Om drrreemeeng ov ayyy wott Creessmoss..."

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 01:01 PM

"It's usually so soulless, so trite, and so distracting"

Oh... so you mean... it's JUST like Christmas then eh?

LOL

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 01:08 PM

The Little Drummer Boy Is my husband's favorite, too. I loathe it.

My most memorable bad Christmas song experience: I used to have my clock radio set to a country music station because, while I rarely liked anything the station played, I could always stand it until I could get it together to turn the blasted thing off. (The radio lived across the room from my bed)

That was until one morning when I heard Johnny Cash singing "The Little Srummer Boy" with a full boys' choir doing the "Pah-rum-pum-pum-pums." Never had I levitated ere that morning, but I set an air speed record flying to the radio to make it stop!

I could just imagine the conversation Johnny must've had with his producer: Alright, I'll do the danged thing, but I ain't singin' no &*%$@! "pah-rum-pum-pum-pum!"

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Amergin
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 01:26 PM

roflmao, Micca....a man after my own heart....lol...

songs that don't poke fun at christmas are all bad...

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: PoppaGator
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 01:40 PM

Speaking of bad versions of "O Holy Night," Paul Shafer's annual over-the-top imitation of Cher's rendition, which he has performed for at least twenty consecutive Decembers of the Dave Letterman late-night show, is my favorite so-bad-it's-good Xmas number. It's even worse than listening to Cher herself, if you can believe that.

Also on the same show once very year, you can see and hear Ronnie Spector wail her own masterful and little-known Christmas rock-n-roll single, whose title escapes me at the moment (This is something I classify as *good,* now, not one of the bad ones.)

Other favorite offbeat seasonal numbers:
"Santa Baby" (especially Earth Kitt's rendition)
"Please Come Home for Christmas," Charles Brown
and this 12-bar blues -- I should know the artist, but don't:

Merry Christmas baby / Yes you sure did treat me nice (2X)
Gave me a diamond ring for Christmas / Now I'm livin in Paradise.

I'm feeling fine and mellow / Got good music on my radio (2X)
I wanna kiss you baby / Underneath the mistletoe

Merry Christmas baby / Yes you sure been good to me (2X)
You know I haven't had a drink this morning/
But I'm all lit up like a Christmas tree.

****

And, oh yeah, one more vote against "Little Drummer Boy." And I'm not too crazy about "The 12 Days.." either.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: M.Ted
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 02:26 PM

Do you mean "Christmas(Baby, Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love. PoppaGator?

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Mooh
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 02:30 PM

ClintonHammond...Yeah, just like Christmas isn't supposed to be (and isn't for me), but is. Too bad.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 03:44 PM

LOL Micca!!!

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: PapaWhiskey
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:29 PM

It would be hard to chose between Mistletoe and Holly (Oh, by gosh, by golly. It's time for mistletoe and holly) and Holly, Jolly Christmas.

I heard Johnny Cash singing Little Drummer Boy once a long time ago, but I assumed I was halluncinating and never told anyone about it. What a shock to find out years later that he really recorded it!

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: alison
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:13 AM

you're a sick man Micca, *grin*

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 01:35 AM

I'm probably alone with one shuddering one: I don't like the Hallelujah chorus. Obviously I'm missing in the sentiment department- but I don't feel any emotion coming from any rendition of it I have ever heard, and feel none in response. And the choppy blurtings are an irritant to me.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 01:41 AM

Well, once you get bad with all the bad Christmas songs, here's a good one - Merry Christmas from the Family, by Robert Earl Keen, Jr.
Merry Christmas!!
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: open mike
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:27 AM

funny, i would think musicians would appreciate
the sentiment in "Drummer", that the gift of music
is the best gift of all...

and i would have to vote for John McCutcheon's
song Christmas in the Trenches as the best all-
around song for the season. It tells the story
(true) of how music helped to bring an end to
war, if just briefly, and was a unifying factor
between soldiers on "both sides of the rifle"

the song that bothers me the most when sung in public
is "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" because they
usually enunciate the "sh" part and slur it til
it gets all mushy like figgy pudding...

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:58 AM

I appreciate the sentiment in "Drummer" I just can't take the parumpapumpums.

And when I heard J. Cadh's version I had exactly the same feeling as ClaireBear; I bet ol' John put his foot down when it came to parumping.

clint

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: RangerSteve
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 06:22 AM

Ok, Micca, I'm not starting any more threads if that's what you're going to contribute. Just kidding. It was great, except for the fact that it's the first song I heard this morning and I'll probably have it in my head all day. It is truly the worst. I'm ready to hear Elvis sing "Blue Christmas" now.
By the way, why or how did you come across that song?

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 06:26 AM

I've always liked Tom Lehrer's Christmas Time

I usually perform "The Carol Singers" (We sang forte, sounded like a hundred) - must post the words sometime.


BTW Kat - I don't know what you're laughing about - after all in the song which Micca posted - he claims that all these ills came from his true-love !

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: black walnut
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 07:03 AM

I found this yesterday:

The Reindeer Pokey

(to the tune of The Hokey Pokey)

You put your antlers in.
You put your antlers out.
You put you antlers in,
And you shake them all about.
You do the Reindeer Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about!

You put your hooves in....
You put your red nose in....
You put your fluffy tail in...
You put your reindeer body in.

Egad!
~b.w.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Leadfingers
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:33 AM

The question that springs to mind is "Are there ANY good Christmas Songs?" Other than the PROPER Carols that is. But that one Micca found is absolutely brilliant. I wish I had the nerve to sing it!

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dani
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:33 AM

Wonderful!

Joe, what's the main tune to the Lehrer song? I see the bits with their own tunes at the bottom.

Dani (who's learning to pick tunes out on the piano and EVERYTHING sounds bad!)

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM

I kinda like Robert Earl Keen Jrs song...

Maybe ya hadda grow up there to get it...

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 12:17 AM

My sister gave me "Meowy Christmas By The Jingle Cats" when it came out. If you haven't had the bad luck to hear it, some genius spent nine months recording his several cats meowing, then spliced the meows into Christmas songs and carols.

We played it for our cousin John Caldwell. I will never forget, John, who loves Bach heard cats meowing "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring". "He spent nine months making that," John said. "He needs something else to do."

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 02:41 AM

Dani, are you saying you want me to transcribe the tune for Lehrer's "Christmas Time"? Heck, that tune is four pages long, a veritable concerto! I'll tell you what: I e-mailed a scan of the song to you, so YOU can transcribe it and send me a MIDI.
Good luck.
-Joe Offer-
[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:45 AM

Leadfingers dons his Pedant hat to inform you that Tom Lehrers song is actually entitled 'A Christmas Carol'.And if any one wants the dots I can do a copy from the Hardback book published in 1958- and No
I Dont have a First edition.
We had our Christmas do at Uxbridge last night - Carols in the bar -
A Good Time Was Had By All, Despite some one singing 'I Saw Momma Kissing Sant Claus' which I think qualifies for a nomination for worst Christmas song.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:57 AM

What about "When Santa got stuck up the chimney".

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 07:40 AM

I remember cats, and the barking dogs songs.... only just ... think they did a "Christmas" one too - and then "Simon and the Chipmunks"....

but those things always remind me of Stan Freburg and the shepherd with his singing sheep... he hit them over the head with his crook and they each went baaaa in tune....

Robin

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Micca
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 07:45 AM

and just when you thought I had had a "Good taste transplant"
Try here

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Dani
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 07:46 AM

Hey, now, Joe. You know I wasn't paying attention in class when you taught us Midis. I will, however, learn the tune from the sheet music, and sing it to anyone willing to call me!! That's my MO, and I'm sticking to it. 'Least 'til I have some spare time to learn this stuff.

Dani

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: RangerSteve
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 06:39 PM

Micca, that was almost as bad as the 12 Days of Xmas that you posted, but not quite. Keep them coming.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 07:07 PM

Lots of "bad" ones on the Cd "Bah Humbug" but more in the category of bad, mad and very funny if you've got a black sense of humour, e.g. "I'm the man that slits the turkeys' throats at Christmas" adn "Santa Bloody Claus".

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 09:59 PM

How could any of you forget to condemn "Feliz Navidad" It's got everything bad about it. Bubbly and happy. Repetitious as hell. And its half in a foreign language making you wonder if your not singing the wrong thing (and perhaps saying something positively dirty). Add to it that there's a new version by Celine Dion. There's something amusing about a French Canadian singing a song in Spanish. Somehow they made it even happier. Yechhh! By the way, there's an even worse version of Blue Christmas by Jon Bon Jovi. I can't remember which carol it is but the Pretenders do a version of it with Chrissie Hind singing flat through a good deal of the song.
I don't much care for Christmas Shoes myself

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM

Lanfranc, I saw John Nutter on TV this evening. (I had never heard of him before.) I would love to sit in on one of his singing "classes." His energy and enthusiasm reminds me a bit of Leonard Bernstein. The interviewer said that some people think his work is too sugary, fairy dust trails after it. I haven't heard enough to have an opinion.

Subject: RE: Bad Christmas music
From: Margret RoadKnight
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:42 AM

Tiny Tim singing "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" ..... truly excruciating!