BS: US bombs Yorkshire

Subject: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Beardy
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:28 AM

Just been on the news, a US bomber has dropped a bomb on Yorkshire near Market Weighton at Holme upon Spalding Moor. I know some of our American 'catters have been upset by our disparaging remarks over their President and attempted world domination but I think this is going too far.

Please stop. Our oil has nearly run out and Tony isn't such a bad dictator as dictators go.

Stewart

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST,sledge
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:34 AM

Urban improvement?

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Beardy
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:39 AM

If only but they missed 'Ull.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST,sledge
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:41 AM

True, they could have done several pounds worth of damage.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:42 AM

That'd be a misunderstanding about Irakshire... US airforce drops practice bomb

From the official news release: "Trained and experienced base personnel including Ministry of Defence, and local constabulary authorities responded to the scene and an investigation team is determining the cause of the incident."

I love that "local constabulary" - Ernest the Policeman cycles up and looks at the crater. "Hullo, Hullo, Hullo - what have we here?" And he takes out his little notebook...

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:46 AM

Couldn't have been Wath cos even Hitler refused to bomb Wath on the grounds a. no-one would have noticed b. They'd suffered enuff anyway c. It would have caused about two bobs worth of damage.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:48 AM

Don't Panic, Don't Panic!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 10:55 AM

Right that's it! Set up the antiaircraft spud throwers around the city and we'll be ready for em next time they try it!

A rare incident indeed! a mate of mine was cycling home at Willerby for those of you who know the area he was cycling along Great Guter lane at the back of delapole hospital) back in the 80's and exactly the same thing hapened missing him by about 10 feet!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: mooman
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:03 AM

God help Dubya when the Good Lady McMoo (a Yorkshire lass) hears of this!

mooman

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: BanjoRay
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:15 AM

They were after the Mudcat Gathering at Guisborough - they only missed it by a month and fifty miles! (shuddderrrr!!!!)

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:28 AM

That was just a warning ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:32 AM

McGrath - "Trained and experienced base personnel including Ministry of Defence, and local constabulary authorities responded to the scene and an investigation team is determining the cause of the incident."
I imagine the news report would be a Two Ronnies - style .
"American Bomber makes a large hole - the Hull police are looking into it..."
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: greg stephens
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:33 AM

This looks suspiciously like the start of a practise sequence for Precision County Bombing. In a week or two they are hoping to be able to hit Rutland.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Bassic
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:44 AM

dit dit dit dah ...- ...-

This is the new from the BBC......And this Alvar Liddel reading it.

The bomb dropped near a North East Coastal Town by an American Bomber 5 days ago has been confirmed as a "Practice Bomb".

In preperation for the "real thing" local citizens are now digging out the "Anderson" shelters in their back gardens, planting turnips and swedes in their lawns and melting down their wrought iron gates.
Reports are comming in of a "run" on stocks of "Nylons" in local shops which are being seen as a safe form of currency, and a number of young men have been seen on the streets wearing Sheperd Neame "SPITFIRE" t-shirts.

Local citizens will be reporting to the church hall for home guard duty at 7pm tonight under the comand of Captain Dilip Mainwearing-Singh, the local bank manager, by video conference from the "call centre" in New Delhi).

The landlord at the Ferrit and Firkin has installed a piano for regulars to sing around and the local PEL inforcement officer has been arested and charged with treason.

There are strong rumours that discredeted former Tory leader, William "Winston" Haigh, will shortly be invited to Buckingham Palace and invited by the Queen, to form a government of "National Unity".

All Open University courses have been suspended and students are requested to send all overdue essays for the course "Chess and its aplication in other activities" to,

PO BOX Station X
Pletchley Park,
Bletchley,
England

Now hear are some messages for our friends overseas.

"The rain in spain stays mainly on the plain"
"The rain in spain stays mainly on the plain"

"The seagulls follow the trawler"
"The seagulls follow the trawler"

"Moses saw the Burning Bush"
"Moses saw the Burning Bush"

Dit dit dit dah!   Dit dit dit Dah! ...-   ...-

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: mooman
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:47 AM

...or following Geoff's theme...

"American Bomber makes a large hole - Smallpliers steps in..."

moo

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Bassic
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 12:04 PM

US Government spokesman

This is all a complete misunderstanding. We recieved a request from the East Riding of Yorkshire Council for help in "targeting" speeding tractors on the Market Weighton Bypass. Unfortunately the message arived at the Pentagon first and bypassed the usual political channels making it impossible for the usual warnings to be given. Unfortunately we hit the target just after the tractor had left the scene. We suspect that the driver had a radar "snooper" in his cab. We will get him next time.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 12:53 PM

Is there any truth in the rumour that Bill Sables spoke to GW on his recent vist...

:D

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM

So sorry! You get a free kick now...

GWB

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: kendall
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 03:48 PM

Are there no uninhabited off shore islands to bomb?

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 04:34 PM

They didn't get the pudding works, did they?

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Les from Hull
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 05:39 PM

Targeting information (and a recipe).

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Gareth
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 07:09 PM

"... and when the Americans flew over, everybody took cover !

XXX Corps saying, Normandy 1944.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 07:35 PM

Watch out for your wildlife. They are always bombing our wildlife into oblivion here in Alaska. Go out and count your moose, see if any have been killed. HURRY!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: LadyJean
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 12:54 AM

Great Britian is mooseless.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:30 AM

Well, LadyJean,
there's no answer to that!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Snuffy
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 09:16 AM

Did this bomb kill them all, then?

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 09:18 AM

Mooseless? Not Scotland. Burns even wrote a poem to one:

Wee, sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!...

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: ced2
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 10:44 AM

What were they aiming for? The RAF listning centre at Fylingdales or their own spybase at Menwith Hill? I know they are pretty good at friendly fire, enough Brits died in both Gulf Wars to testify to that, but aren't they taking it a bit too far?

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 11:13 AM

..ye need na run away sa hastie...

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: tar_heel
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 12:24 PM

if it makes you ,my friends in the UK feel any better,did you know that an a-bomb was accidently dropped on NORTH CAROLINA,back in the 50's?
well,it really did happened!
long before long range missles,the b-52 bombers flew 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, around the world carrying a-bombs and ready to defend america at any moment against the communist world,particuilarly russia,at that time!
anyway,one of the bombs from a b-52 bomber somehow became dislodged from the aircraft and it felll in eastern North Carolina,an area that was densly populated at that time...
according to records kept by our govenrnment,there were 7 devices that had to fuction to make the bomb explode...6 of the devices had triggered as they were supposed to,but the 7th device malfuctioned and the bomb never exploded...
however there was a degree of radiation that exposed several miles surrounding the area where the bomb fell...
this happened sometime in the 50's(i was just a teen ager then)
the incident was not even reported by our government till long after it happened...(there was a book written about it,called...One of Our Bombs Is Missing!)
i remember it very well and how scared i felt and how the folks in my state we horrified that something like this could happen here in our own country by our own armed forces...
tarheel

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 12:39 PM

Friend of mine was a USAF meteorologist stationed in England back in the 1960s. One day he went on duty, glanced at the maps and charts, and about shit. He cleared everybody off the network they used (not computer, of course) and canceled a practice bombing of an island off the English coast.

Seems like he, a lowly Airman, noticed that the bombers would be working out at 35,000 feet, with live bombs, at the same time JFK's plane would be flying over the practice area on the way to Ireland at, say, 30,000 feet.

Later, he was thanked by a General (four stars) he had ordered the hell off the net. Headlines like "USAF Bombs Kill US President" wouldn't have made good press at all....

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 12:40 PM

As I recall that bomb fell on a cow.

THere is another one mising off the Coast of Savannah Georgia that sank into the muck of the swamps so deep that they couldn't find it. A report a couple of years back said that it probably had decomposed by now.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Metchosin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:26 PM

Why shouldn't a few moose go missing in Britain, its only fair, we probably lost a bunch of belugas when the U.S. ``lost'' a bomb assembly in the St. Lawrence River in 1950. Fortunately the bomb, which was detonated 760 metres over the St. Lawrence near Rivire-du-Loup didn't have its usual nuclear components on board at the time.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:32 PM

They dropped another one off the coast of Spain too.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Dead Horse
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:35 PM

We should declare war on the U.S. NOW!

Tomorrow, we surrender and get shit-loads of aid!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Metchosin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 01:42 PM

don't tell me the wee moosie is thinking of roaring.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: selby
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 02:23 PM

I believe the good news is the yanks arrived and filled in the hole, the effects of the bomb on the area cannot be seen.Believe me we will be retaliating shortly, we are going to empty the hole and put fish in.
Keith

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 09:11 PM

If that happened in New England there would have been a huge out cry. Maybe gather the shapnell, box it send it to me and I will see what I can do.
Can I still come visit ? I didnt come when America invaded Iraqu but if I wait untill America learns how to be a polite world citizen I may not get back to Yorkshire for a long time and that wont do at all. Sorry Everyone, Guy

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 09:16 PM

I'm Canadian. We use moose in our hair or we turn it into chocolate.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 10:01 PM

Friendly fire casualties were not high enough in two gulf wars, so they decided to bomb Englands largest county, and as usual made a total twat of it.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 10:09 PM

Damn! Missed.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: mouldy
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 02:46 AM

One of the theories mooted was that they were actually trying to get a mysterious thing called the "rhubarb triangle" ... but missed by about 50 miles.
Perhaps they saw the Cheshire Home in Holme-Upon-Spalding-Moor as a threat. After all, Sue Ryder and Group Captain Leonard Cheshire did set them up originally to look after disabled ex-servicemen. Who knows what stories they could tell.
On the other hand, as the village has a beacon - one of the chain that was set up across the country in 1988 for the Armada 400th anniversary - it could be that they were trying to disable part of our early warning system!

(Of course it won't have anything to do with me transporting immigrants from Wiltshire through there last Tuesday afternoon).

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: mouldy
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 02:51 AM

Of course, there was the comment Terry Wogan made yesterday morning about the "Whippets of Mass Destruction" that they were searching for!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Bobjack
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 03:32 AM

If a big fat yankee bomb fell on Hull and exploded, would anyone notice? It might incinerate a bit of litter and dogshite but that's about it!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Gurney
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 05:35 AM

See the 'idiots' thread.

The crew were probably founder members trying to find Andorra.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: GUEST,M'Grath of Altcar
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 06:16 AM

My Grandad fought in the trenches of the first world war and he told me that it was well understood that.....

When the Germans started the war, all of europe ducked.
When Britain entered the war, all the Germans ducked.
When the Americans entered the war, every bugger ducked.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 06:27 AM

A very nice chap called Ed from USAF Lakenheath explained on Tv that they had a specialist investigaton team for this sort of thing -which somewhat implies that this happens a lot. (Don't tell them your name Pike!)

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 07:10 AM

Hey mouldy if they actully hit the ' rhubarb triangle ' even I could forgive them.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 06:30 PM

I think its sad about them wiping out your moose. sniff.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 08:55 AM

I reckon that it was really a surveying probe, dropped by the Vogan Constructor Fleet !

Back in the days when the West German airforce was having a lot of problems with the Starfighters which they had bought from America, there was a joke going the rounds. "How do you get a Starfighter ?" - "Buy a field in West Germany and wait !".

Then there was the plane carrying a load of Japanese car gearbox spares that had engine trouble as it was flying over Germany, so the pilot decided to jetison the cargo. As the parts came falling out of the sky a German bystander shouted out "Mein Gott - it is raining Datsun Cogs !".

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Cobble
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 09:01 AM

It was dropped close to disused airfield near a very small village called LAND OF NOD!!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Midchuck
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 09:18 AM

This looks suspiciously like the start of a practise sequence for Precision County Bombing. In a week or two they are hoping to be able to hit Rutland.

I sure hope you mean Rutland, UK! (my home town of Pittsford is in Rutland County, VT, USA)

Having spent time in Yorkshire, I can understand this mistake. They probably had heard Yorkshire people speaking English and thought it was some dialect of Arabic.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: Les from Hull
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 06:24 PM

Land of Nod? Might sound a bit Arabic to some!

Subject: RE: BS: US bombs Yorkshire
From: mouldy
Date: 16 Jan 04 - 03:00 AM

Sounds a bit Old Testament, anyway.

I've seen the signpost, but I have never been there.

Andrea