BS: Why can't pickles fly?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 09 - 04:13 PM

I say, "Judge NOT! Lest ye be judged!"

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Jul 09 - 12:54 PM

High as a kite.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 15 Jul 09 - 12:43 PM

So if one walks into a bar in the late afternoon, one is apt to meet a bunch of pickles, aye? And who's to say they're not flying?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Jul 09 - 10:28 AM

"Pickles" is the noun applied to items which are pickled....n'est ce pas?

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 07:40 PM

Oh, I see. You mean why the "pickled can't fly!"

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 07:39 PM

You'd think they'd be more understanding, given the overall state of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 07:21 PM

Because no modern day airline will accept passengers who are not reasonably sober.

Arriving at check-in pickled will undoubtedly lead to postponement, and in serious cases cancellation, of your flight.

This has come about largely as a result of the propensity for rage and/or violence exhibited by those who are pickled.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 07:03 PM

Pickle Pastry = Dill-Dough

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 01:42 PM

While in bedroom communities across this great land, bored housewives hum a song about "Just wanna ride on my motorpickle...".


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 12:50 PM

Many people don't know that there is a part of Western Civilization that impales pickles and freezes them. Others will make picklesicles from the juice.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 14 Jul 09 - 12:13 PM

Simon Schwartz was out on Lake Palin this morning, about to land what was reported to be a record breaking rainbow trout, when a kosher dill flew by, grabbed the fish off the gaff-hook, and skimmed on off across the lake with it. Mr. Schwartz has threatened to take his deer rifle and go out looking for that "dratted pickle."

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 03:41 PM

NOthing dill witted about you, if a crash senshea yewma.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Stringsinger
Date: 13 Jul 09 - 02:58 PM

Because it kosher too much money to buy a ticket.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 11:48 PM

YES!
Thank
you.
Now
I
shall
be
able
to
sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 11:07 PM

"Pickles" was the wife of "Buddy" (Morey Amsterdam) on the "Dick Van dyke Show".

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:41 PM

Nope.Theyain'tit.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:32 PM

"The Oblongs" and "Rugrats" both had characters named Pickles.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 09:25 PM

Maybe, but the one I'm thinking of was on TV. I'm sure about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 09:16 PM

There was a character named Pickles, but I can't recall the context. I was thinking it was in a movie.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 08:04 PM

Does anyone remember who was called Pickles in a famous comedy show a while back? I never did know if it was done in colour because I only ever had a black and white TV. Heck, that was back in the day that there were more TVs in Canada than indoor toilets.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 07:58 PM

I relish sweet pickles!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 01:56 PM

It's Gurkhins that really scare the crap out of me.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 01:48 PM

I hear the sweet pickles are even more dangerous than the dills!

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 01:12 PM

Ever since Eddie Pyle drew the public's attention to the phenomenon of flying pickles the number of these incidents has increased annually. There have been 65,012 sightings of flying pickles worldwide in the last couple of years.

Wait. Make that 65,013 sightings! Yes, the reports are coming in even as I speak!

Watch the skies!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:26 AM

Could this be the beginning of The Pickles' Revenge? (Please note correct use of the plural possessive.)

That could bring down Civilization As We Know It (such as it is), fulfilling Nostradamus' (ahem! note possessive!) prophecy:

In that same year that the Sun is still
No horse will wear the Triple Crown
Leaves of Red will fall upon the field of ice
And pickles will stick in your ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Riginslinger
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 09:49 AM

Late last night Albert Boorstead got up to let out his Yorkshire terrier, Mitzy, and when he walked out onto the front porch he was struck in the ear by a flying pickle. His wife called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital where efforts are now underway to remove the briny cuke. Reports indicate it's a large garlic dill, and local authorities indicate that this type of pickle is not normally found flying around this far north. Mr. Boorstead's condition is reported as guarded.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 04:03 AM

Ah ha! Got it. The thread premise is slightly askew. They CAN fly. As the graph clearly demonstrates, pickles fly more often than not.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 11:22 PM

Works better than A-200.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 11:17 PM

He's right about that.


Rap, I have made kimchee before. Slightly different recipe. Thanks though for posting that.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 11:11 PM

Peace only likes kimchi because if you pour it on your crotch it will kill crab lice far more effectively than anything you can buy at a pharmacy.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 09:51 PM

You CAN make your own, you know:

Ingredients:
        
3 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon pickling salt
6 cups water
2 pounds Chinese (Napa) cabbage, cut into 2-inch squares
6 scallions, cut into 2-inch lengths, then slivered
1 1/2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
2 tablespoons Korean ground dried hot pepper (or other mildly hot ground red pepper)
1 teaspoon sugar

Instructions:         
(Makes about 1 1/2 Quarts)

1. Dissolve the 3 tablespoons salt in the water. Put the cabbage into a large bowl, a crock, or a nonreactive pot, and pour the brine over it. Weight the cabbage down with a plate. Let the cabbage stand for 12 hours.

2. Drain the cabbage, reserving the brine. Mix the cabbage with the remaining ingredients, including the 1 teaspoon salt. Pack the mixture into a 2-quart jar. Pour enough of the reserved brine over the cabbage to cover it. Push a freezer bag into the mouth of the jar, and pour the remaining brine into the bag. Seal the bag. Let the kimchi ferment in a cool place, at a temperature no higher than 68° F, for 3 to 6 days,until the kimchi is as sour as you like.

3. Remove the brine bag, and cap the jar tightly. Store the kimchi in the refrigerator, where it will keep for months.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 09:03 PM

Ah, man. The nearset kimchee to here is 300 km away.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 09:00 PM

I've heard that there was good kimchee. I just haven't run across any.

There are, you know, two kinds: Summer and Winter. The Winter kind is much more spicy so that you will keep warmer. The Summer kimchee is milder. Both are eaten with nearly everything.

The above paragraph is the truth and nothing but, by the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 08:11 PM

THAT is painful. I LOVE kimchee.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:41 PM

A bad kimchee recipe? Does that mean there's such a thing as a good kimchee recipe?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:30 PM

Makes you kimill?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:02 PM

My old granny was German, not Korean. We had never HEARD of kimchee until I went to Korea. I would rather not know about it even now.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 07:38 PM

Repaire, are you sure that was pickles, and not a bad kimchee recipe?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 06:08 PM

Thanks for refreshing this old thread.

It's one of the best!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 04:20 PM

My old granny grew old-time cucumbers, which she made into old-time pickles. I remember her putting those cukes into a stoneware container and then covering them with her special brining mixture. And she did it in a special way: way down on the very bottom was a layer of sliced cabbage which was to be made into sauerkraut. On top of that was a layer of peeled ginger roots, then sliced beets, then a layer of pig's testicles, then a layer of rock salt, then the layer of whole cucumbers. The brining solution was an ancient family secret and she passed away before passing it on.

I do now that it had a base of bock beer, the bocker the better -- sludge was excellent -- and a LOT of salt. Ol' granny'd let that stuff ferment for three months or so, and long about January she'd dig it out "for the men-folk to eat." Grandpa, being no fool, ate all he could stomach BUT he rubbed Limburger cheese under his nose first and smoked a Truly Awful See-gar while he ate. Each time after he was finished he'd chew up a storm on some sort of chewin' tobacco he kept in the garage.

But about the pickles.

They tasted awful.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 03:52 PM

Never tried to make a pickle sail, but when I was a little runt on the farm we usually had tons of cucumbers in the garden. Every so often I would make a little dugout canoe of one and mess around with it in the cattle tank.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickled kraut fly?
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 03:52 PM

Of course, most are bunned between the mustard and the burger.

Und vee von't confuse it all mit zee German-American Bund, as ve're concerned here mit zee flight of the cumber/pickle und not zee germanation....

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 03:39 PM

It's not a Cumberland belt, gnu!........
















It's a cumberbund!

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 03:31 PM

Sev's got his Cumberland belt back on and he's not waisting any words.

So nice to see, Sev.

Is that a cucumber in yer pocket or are you Gherkin me around?

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Severn
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 03:21 PM

Still trying to negotiate the Cumberland Gap, are we?

All these years and all these posts and nobody has realized the obvious? Pickles can't fly because they're too cumbersome. Only when totally unencumbered can any of us truly fly like unto the Greek God Piccles (Pronounced Pick-leeze), himself.

Nowadays they're heavier than the old air filled ones before the burpless hybrids were developed. You can't hear them sputtering anymore as they approach, and cucumber patches are no longer required to repair leaks.

"The pickle the litter"-The ones who tried to fly and couldn't and are strewn across the ground like so many expired lemmings waiting to be made into merangue pie? Thus, of course becoming true members of the squash family?

Now, pickles CAN sail and Pickle Day, I believe is celebrated in the UK for the very Pickle that brought news of Nelson's victory.

I should've signed out and come back on as "GUEST George Gherkin", but I guess it's too late now to put this thread above the line.....

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: SharonA
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 01:48 PM

"Why can't pickles fly?"

Pickle 'em in Red Bull, and then maybe...

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: open mike
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 01:07 PM

the flying acrobats of the Pickle Family Circus

join their classes

see the pickles defy gravity

oh, and BTW piga fly, too.

news flash--this just in--flying pig seen in U.K.

please excuse piggish thread drift

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 12:06 PM

Rest assured, if pigs do it so will pickles. The Great Pickle Flew Pandemic is coming.

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 11:09 AM

.........pigs might fly!

Seems like they do now since pandemic: 'Swine Flew'??

Subject: RE: BS: Why can't pickles fly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:40 AM

Somewhere...a Zoning Board is running from a lynch mob.