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The Hamster of Time?

The Fooles Troupe 26 Dec 07 - 08:04 AM
Herga Kitty 25 Dec 07 - 12:03 PM
Charley Noble 24 Dec 07 - 09:19 PM
Les in Chorlton 24 Dec 07 - 06:48 AM
Les in Chorlton 24 Dec 07 - 06:46 AM
The Fooles Troupe 24 Dec 07 - 01:34 AM
The Fooles Troupe 24 Dec 07 - 12:23 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 Dec 07 - 05:48 PM
Charley Noble 23 Dec 07 - 02:56 PM
Les in Chorlton 23 Dec 07 - 10:39 AM
Charley Noble 23 Dec 07 - 10:23 AM
Liz the Squeak 22 Dec 07 - 07:22 PM
Les in Chorlton 22 Dec 07 - 01:48 PM
Bill D 22 Dec 07 - 12:43 PM
Mo the caller 22 Dec 07 - 06:46 AM
Liz the Squeak 22 Dec 07 - 04:22 AM
Les in Chorlton 21 Dec 07 - 02:13 PM
Herga Kitty 21 Dec 07 - 02:05 PM
Charley Noble 21 Dec 07 - 01:50 PM
MMario 21 Dec 07 - 09:59 AM
Les in Chorlton 21 Dec 07 - 09:44 AM
Les in Chorlton 28 Jan 04 - 01:19 PM
Les in Chorlton 27 Jan 04 - 02:20 PM
Herga Kitty 26 Jan 04 - 06:37 PM
Charley Noble 26 Jan 04 - 06:11 PM
John MacKenzie 25 Jan 04 - 01:34 PM
Les in Chorlton 25 Jan 04 - 07:31 AM
John MacKenzie 25 Jan 04 - 07:10 AM
Les in Chorlton 25 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM
Charley Noble 24 Jan 04 - 03:47 PM
Mr Red 24 Jan 04 - 10:42 AM
Les in Chorlton 24 Jan 04 - 10:25 AM
Micca 24 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM
Les in Chorlton 24 Jan 04 - 03:59 AM
GUEST 23 Jan 04 - 10:13 AM
Micca 23 Jan 04 - 05:03 AM
John MacKenzie 22 Jan 04 - 05:57 PM
Herga Kitty 22 Jan 04 - 04:36 PM
Les in Chorlton 22 Jan 04 - 02:49 PM
Little Hawk 21 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM
John MacKenzie 21 Jan 04 - 05:59 PM
Les in Chorlton 21 Jan 04 - 02:18 PM
John-S 21 Jan 04 - 06:28 AM
Herga Kitty 20 Jan 04 - 03:11 PM
John MacKenzie 20 Jan 04 - 06:02 AM
John MacKenzie 20 Jan 04 - 05:20 AM
Herga Kitty 19 Jan 04 - 05:50 PM
Herga Kitty 19 Jan 04 - 05:41 PM
Les in Chorlton 19 Jan 04 - 04:02 PM
Gurney 19 Jan 04 - 12:12 AM
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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 08:04 AM

I'd love to be able to get that, but it seems imppossible for download saving, either on Win or Linux...


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 12:03 PM

I did enjoy Humph in Wonderland - the ending was something like "as the chill wind of destiny blows up the snowflake of time, South East trains cancel all their services..." Can be heard by clicking on H, and then on Humph in Wonderland at BBD Radio 4 Listen again page

Kitty


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 09:19 PM

Alas, my love, if I could channel the criteria,
We would be together, you and me, and not in Siberia,
But by the great sidereal movements by which time is commonly reckoned
I cannot with any degree of accuracy state when we might be beckoned.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 06:48 AM

But then again:

I cannot get tae my love if I would dee
For the Hamster of Time run between him and me
And here I maun stand wi a tear in my ee
All sighin and sobbin, my true love to see


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 06:46 AM

As the miserable mole-rat of pessimism
Strangles the worm-like remnants of my Christmas Spirit
And the retaliatory sky-full of Manchester drizzle
Offers me nothing but a trip to the tip

I search for the sweet taste of a Chinese takeaway
Knowing that between my short-sighted misery
And the often visited joy of Honk Kong
Is only, their is only one way of putting it, THE IRONING.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 01:34 AM

I'm sorry, I was just playing with the crayons of your mind...


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 12:23 AM

Did you say Hamster of Time?

I thought I heard the flush of a distant toilet...


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 05:48 PM

Viv Stanshall (What a genius!) Canyons of your mind -

In the canyons of your mind,
I will wander through your brain.
To the ventricles of your heart, my dear.
I'm in love with you again.

'Cross the mountains of your chest (babababa),
I will sticker union jack.
To the forest of your cheek... oh...
Through the holes in your string vest!


My darling, in my cardboard-coloured dreams (cardboard-coloured dreams),
once again, I heard your laugh.
And I kiss, yes, I kiss your perfumed hair. (But she's not there.)
The sweet essence of Giraffe. (Of Giraffe.)
And each time I hear your name, (Frying pan, frying pan)
Oh, oh, my, my, how it hurts! (He's in pain)
In the wardrobe of my soul... (oh, my soul)
In the section labeled "shirts."


:D


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 02:56 PM

As the sabretooth hamster sank into the tarry mire,
His soul ascends while his earthly parts expire!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 10:39 AM

Exlnt

As the ever shrinking Brontosaurus of rhyme
Confronts the ragged rhythm of word play

.......


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 10:23 AM

I saw a Brontosaurus with a thesaurus,
Fie, man, fie!
I saw a Brontosaurus with a thesaurus,
Who's the fool now?
I saw a Brontosaurus with a thesaurus,
Searching for the ultimate chorus –
Thou hast well drunken and who's the fool now?

The Hamster of Thyme spins on!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 07:22 PM

Bill, are you one of those lawyer chaps who are paid £50 a letter?!

LTS


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 01:48 PM

Sense? Tricky word Bill. I think they should sound as if sense was in there but may not be directly accessible.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 12:43 PM

As a surfiet of deranged grammarians foist gratuitious compilations of polysyllabic exhuberance on our unprotected tabulas rasa, it behooves us to repair to the great thesaurus and reply with contumacious verisimilitude, lest this propagation of calumny be unctuously unrestrained.





make sense? is there a rule they have to make sense?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Mo the caller
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 06:46 AM

Bit too late Liz.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 04:22 AM

How about Epigramaphors?


Well I like it...


So now, as the kitty of destiny drops another stinkpod into the litter tray of time and the smell of doom wafts across the landing of life, it's time to go and put the cat out.

LTS


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 02:13 PM

As the often sceptic magpie of anticipation
Cast its eye over the many headed promises of Radio 4
A great welling of innocent optimism casts its face
To the an almost certain promise of much joy


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 02:05 PM

As Santa's Christmas caterpillar crawls into the stocking of Samantha, the hamster scampers down a rabbit hole to find the old buffers of Wonderbraland....

- I've just spotted that we're getting a Christmas Carroll this year, with Humph in Wonderland on BBC Radio 4 at 12.04 on Christmas Day. Humph is played by Humphrey Lyttelton (quelle surprise) and the caterpillar by Andy Hamilton. Sandi Toksvig is the Queen of Hearts, Tim Brooke-Taylor the Duchess, and Rob Brydon the Mad Hatter.

Looking forward to it!

Kitty


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 01:50 PM

refresh


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 09:59 AM

epigrams, aren't they?

say goodnight, gracey!


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 09:44 AM

Somehow came across this old thread of mine - or is that a song?

As the tormented memory of the past
Hits the useless buffers of the present
From fictional grasp of creativity
I throw out this challenge to the Hamsters of Time Past

Merry Christmas

Les Jones


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:19 PM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/clue.shtml


Is this the only source?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 02:20 PM

As the of the word strangling code breaker of truth

Throws in the tear stained kitchen roll of surrender

And the gapping backdoor of the Mudcat pulls at the arse end of analysis

The small brained seeking after understanding goes in search of the origin of Wassailing


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 06:37 PM

As the points of order consign the Hamster of Time to the trellis of destiny, and the eternal prize remains unclaimed...

Kitty


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 06:11 PM

Refreshing.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 01:34 PM

Dashing away with the smoothing iron.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:31 AM

In the spirit of egaliterianism and anarcho-syndicalism ( sorry I don't think I can spell that), the generator will be:

from each according to,
to each according to
free at the point of use,

But just at the moment the the siren sound of the ironing .....


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:10 AM

Don't forget your Flux Capacitor of time, which when added to the Kryptonite of telephony, brings to mind the exteriorisation of male underwear.

Then when you have built your Random Generator, can I put my name at the head of the list to purchase your first Random.
John


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

1. So as the pawls of the capstan of time click away,


2. the mudhook of fate is slowly raised to the surface of tranquility.

So you have Charley.

Basically something in the first line does something to something in the second line. This is embelished by the use of strange or surreal nouns, verbs and so on.

The code looks like this to me:
This is a single Humph'

The first line has an abstract noun - time.
This is made less abstract by a common noun - the pawls of the capstan
Sometimes, though not in this case, the common noun can have adjectives - worn pawls.....

The second line has the abstract + common noun feature - the mudhook of fate - some verbs - slowly raised - that indicate how the 2 lines are related.

Charleys' Humph' has an extra embelishment - the surface of tranquility.

OK. I am off to construct a Random Generator.


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 03:47 PM

I think I'm getting the hang of this:

So as the pawls of the capstan of time click away, the mudhook of fate is slowly raised to the surface of tranquility.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 10:42 AM

I was gpoing to say the screwdriver of fate Chauffeurs the lady Mayoress of destiny (ref to back seat). but I was jammed in the doorway of conflict, or was it conflict in the jam of Spaghetti?.

I was going to suggest Mondayblues (cf Mondegreens) though I have to agree

Humphs' is so fitting BUT note pedantic use of the apostrophe


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 10:25 AM

This kind of talk is very scarry.

Now, the code:

1. The classic single (or 2 line) Humph.

The first and second line contain an abstract noun eg destiny, fear, fate.....



Sorry, offer of a trip to a guitar shop, more later


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Micca
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

approaches the Flat pack of Eternity, The kitchen unit of infinity teeters in search of the 3 missing hinges, 8 screws, 4 bolts, an allen key and a couple of door handles


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 03:59 AM

Thankyou, thank you.

I think we aew are on a roll.

I watched o programme last night about that French guy who cracked the code for Hyroglyphics on the Rosseta Stone. I now believe I am close to cracking the code for Humphs.

But more pressing is the need to go to MFI and struggle with the code for fitted kitchens.

As the uncertain screwdriver of fate..............


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 10:13 AM

>The Hamster of Time scampers across the gap between the train and the >platform, just before the points, at .........Mornington Crescent?

>And points mean?

Switches?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Micca
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:03 AM

As the hamster of destiny falls into the blender of time and the long fickle finger of fate flicks the switch of eternity to create the milkshake of oblivion..


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:57 PM

And the Dewey Decimal sytem of fate, classifies it under bacon products..

John


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:36 PM

As the hawk of destiny deposits the hamster of time in the overdue section of the library of eternity...

Kitty


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 02:49 PM

As the tasty bait of temptation
Is cast over the virtual reality of the Mudcat
The curious attention of the Little Hawk
Is drawn to the destiny of the Hamster


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM

As the Elite Member of the fabled Mudcat Inner Clique ascends to the lofty pinnacle of his/her Gilded Throne (office chair) and wields the Sceptre of Ultimate Power (mouse), he/she finds 32 more unallowable and altogether despicable posts from disgruntled ex-members, anonymous Guests, and existing members who lack discrimination...shortly to be excised with extreme prejudice by the Joe Clone Executioner of Eternity!

;-) (sorry, couldn't resist...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 05:59 PM

As the Joe Clone of time, opens the Mudcat Cafe pages of eternity, he finds 50 new posts from the Gargoyle of fate?
John


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 02:18 PM

Yes, Humph's or is it Humphs? Excellent.

But what about their structure? If we camn understand them better, can we write even funnier ones?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John-S
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:28 AM

Sadly, that link appears to be broken just now. I knew I should have taken a copy. Here's another one to keep us going.

Humph's Intros


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 03:11 PM

Thanks John S for the link. Lots of eternity, destiny, doom....

Could just call them humphs.

Kitty


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 06:02 AM

Just thought, if you fit the hamster of time with a flux capacitor, will he become a Tribble? Or will he boldly go, in a De Lorean called The Enterprise? Or will he then return to Megarathea, to complete his research into the wheel? Or will he, maddened by time travel, commit rodenticide by taking Warfarin.

I'm so confused! Has anybody seen my medication?

John


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 05:20 AM

Go on Kitty, you're on a roll.
ROTFL

John


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 05:50 PM

As the finger of destiny points to the wandering palms waiting to welcome Samantha


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 05:41 PM

The Hamster of Time scampers across the gap between the train and the platform, just before the points, at .........Mornington Crescent?

And points mean?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 04:02 PM

What ever they are they are a strange and varied beast. Many of Humphrey Littletons have a common structure. I can't really understand or describe it but I am sure it's possible.

Perhaps it goes a bit like this:

2 abstract or at least sophisticated concepts are needed - destiny and time are good examples. Each then needs to be illustrated by some sureal but concrete er things (the hamster etc) The 2 concepts need to be related in some strange event???????

Ok this probably doesn't explain anything.

Anyone else fancy a go?


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Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 12:12 AM

The Winds of Change are blowing through The Corridors of Power!

Dont you wish?

Metametaphors?


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