The Hamster of Time?

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: kendall
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 11:45 PM

Pat Paulsen sang it, "In the elevator of your heart I've been shafted, I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart."

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Joybell
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM

We wouldn't tell Micca. We can keep secrets.
If I buy my Hamster of Time at eBay, like it says I can on the add at the bottom here, will it be shipped in real time or in Hamster time? Will they pack a cut lunch for him/her and will that be enough? A Hamster of Time is not a mortal creature is it? Tell me it's not. Time my friendly, furry, funny, friend
Come to me
Together we will feast on
Peanut-butter sandwiches
And we will giggle in the face of
Cruel death.

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

Oh the hamster of Tyne runs between my love and me?

Kitty

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:09 PM

Yes, and I think we should call it Country & Western music. :~) We had a recent thread with funny C&W song titles, and I have heard some of the songs, and they are a riot.

DROP KICK ME JESUS THRU THE GOAL POSTS OF LIFE... sound familiar? :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:07 PM

Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on?

I we at the start of a new genre of song?

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Micca
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 11:04 AM

Les I was FORBIDDEN from including one verse on pain of having something very painful done to my person and had to PROMISE signed in Blood to destroy it and never to publish same.

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 10:27 AM

Sounds like the land of that incredible Birkenhead band Half man half biscuit?

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM

Song Titles:

THE DAY THE CHEESE LEFT MY CRACKER

I'LL NEVER EAT YOUR DUST AGAIN (D Warwick)

YOU POLLUTED MY OCEAN OF LOVE

~S~

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 05:42 AM

Micca, absolutly brilliant!

I was sitting in a folk club the other night listening to somebody sing one of those long rambling singersongwritersongs about ravens ravings? and the darkness of my soul. I felt the need to make up or at least sing a spoof. I think it is impossible to spoof those kind of songs       ..... when the possibilty of metanines as a basis came to mind.

You have beaten me to it, but also given me great inspiration. Just searching for my talent and originality...... this could take some time.

In the meantime I am off out to buy and fit an MFI fitted kitchen.

As the screwdriver of commitment meets the flat pack of challenge,
The cold dawn of reality throws its light on the liesure time of my life

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Micca
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 04:46 AM

do you mean something like this Les?

Bathroom of your heart.
(Tune..Wild side of life)
(Johnny Cash addn.lyrics Micca)

On the compost heap of life I've been cast out dear
With the tea leaves and grass cuttings to rot down
Like a used bandage that tied up your wounds dear
I am left here by you , cast on the ground

chorus
I've been washed from the sink of your memory
in the theatre of your dreams I've lost my part
and now you've got me off of your conscience
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart"

Like a used kleenex I've been cast aside dear
Full of snot and of bogies and of phlegm
Opened up and inspected then rolled up dear
And then cast with great force into the bin

In the garbage disposal of your life I've been ground up dear..
And with the slurry of my dreams washed down the drain
And now I'm in the sewer with the crap dear
Like a chocolate cake that was left out in the rain

In the cemetery of your past I've been interred dear
I am rotting in the grave of your past life
And now my feelings for you are disgusting
Since you went back to your kids and wife…

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 03:49 AM

Well Carolyn at work, who consults on English, said they are metaphors and this is borne out above. Running metaphors is excellent. How about flying metaphors?

Epigramic metaphors (EMs?)or even Ems?

Since they go so much further could they be metafives or metaphives or metanines, metanines sounds snappy?

Who will sing the first song constructed from metanines?

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Joybell
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:38 AM

Epigrams? Could you call them that? Or are they a sort of free-form English Haiku.
Now Google is talking "Dancing Hamsters" as well as pals.

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 11:24 PM

A running metaphor?

These are easy to create if you are in the right frame of mind (a loose one). We like to pretned the Bible is actually a Western. Oh yeah, that stuff actually all happened in the Old West, that's why the thing about the Historic Jesus is so hard to figure out! No more making the sign of the cross-- it's the sign of the noose, and communion is sarsaparilla. Disciples become podners, Gentiles are Cheyenne, Pilate is a corrupt town marshall..... Lee Van Cleef for Judas, let your mind slip a bit and it's easy, so easy..... too easy..... there goes Miss Kitty Magdalene....

~S~

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 10:40 PM

In some unfortunate cases you'll be amazed at how quickly your hamster will become your worst enemy!

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Joybell
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 05:23 PM

Just took a peek at the add at the bottom of this thread. It said,
"You'll be amazed at how quickly your hamster will become your best friend" It's changed now. How quickly the Hamster of Time moves on!

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Joybell
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 05:19 PM

They remind me a little of Zen sayings. I'm sure you can attain enlightenment if you meditate on them in the right way. Thank you Les. Joy

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 01:42 PM

Thanks a lot John S you are a genius. Do these things have a name? Does any one else do them? I feel sure I have heard some elsewhere.

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 01:12 PM

ooops..seems the sound file has disappeared

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 01:07 PM

"Aloha-oe, aloha-oe, ikeona ona noho ikanipo

As the sun pulls away from the shore, and our boat sinks slowly in the west, we approach the island of Lu-Lu (sproing) - spelled backwards: (sproing) Ul- Ul.

Ah, in the distance we hear Spike Jones and his Wacky Wakakians

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Phot
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 12:40 PM

"as our ship sinks slowly in the West, and the sun sails away.........."    Spike Jones and the city slickers.

Wassail! Chris

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: John-S
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 12:18 PM

Here's some of Humph's

http://www14.brinkster.com/g0akh/ISIHAC/Humphs_Closing_Gems_Page.asp

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Micca
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 12:10 PM

As the Folk singer of time busks the shopping Mall of Eternity
and the bodhran player of creation beats the rhythym of the "lost morris dance" into submission, it is time to fade away

Subject: RE: The Hamster of Time?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 12:03 PM

"This is The BBC Home Service", "Hold it up to the light, not a brain in sight!" (The Goons)

This is total BS!

Nigel

Subject: The Hamster of Time?
From: GUEST,Les in Chorlton
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 11:00 AM

As the Hamster of Time runs around the wheel of eternity
The Gerbil of Space bites the hands of destiny!

OK This is crap but these things turn up all over the place. A good example is the end of I'm sorry I haven't a clue - the antidote to panel games'. Humphry Littleton often finishes the show with one.

Do they have a name? Does anybody know a better one?