BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:08 PM

SRS, if you can't finish all your wine within a reasonable time frame, pour it into ice cube trays and freeze it. Use a cube next time you want to add a little something to a gravy or stew or whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 11:26 PM

Well, well, well... A hundred posts to this silly thing. And to think I almost chickened out 'cause it was too dumb an idea. Only shows to go ya...

Anyway, I just discovered something tonight. Canned spaghetti sauce makes darned good chili! I was going to make chili tonight and had the beans and ground beef all ready to go but, oops! No tomatoes, or tomato sauce. But there was an extra can of el cheapo Del Monte traditional style spaghetti sauce. Did I feel like making a 20 mile round-trip to town to get some tomato sauce? No way! So I threw that can of spahetti sauce in the pot, added a can of water and, viola! Chili! Who said you can't have oregano and basil in chili?

Now, here's the really cool part. Guess what's for dinner tomorrow night? Spaghetti. And guess what's gonna be used for spaghetti sauce? You got it. The leftovers from tonight's chili. Who said ya can't have kidney beans, cumin and chili powder in spaghetti sauce?

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 12:59 AM

Hahaha! Bruce, you're a hoot!

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:58 PM

Before this thread goes off in the wilds...........anothere Ramen Noodle thing for those who like Sesame Noodles or Phad Thai....

Boil the noodles and drain.   Sprinkle with Sesame Oil (better if you buy the "Hot" Sesame Oil). Add a bit of Soy Sauce and "some" or all of the spice packet. Stir this together and then add a blop of peanut butter. It takes a bit to work in the peanut butter but that's the end. If you like it hot and spicy, throw in crushed cayenne peppers. This stuff is amazingly good!!! I generally whip up 4 packs at a time and give a bowl each to the kids before I add the peppers. We all 3 have lunch for about a buck.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: RichM
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 10:04 PM

This one tastes so good, it might be disqualified as a non-cook's recipe. But it's quick and easy, so I think it belongs here...

Put some olive oil or butter in a pan. Place on stove, turn on heat to medium.
Put in one can of "Aylmer Accents" Italian style stewed tomatoes.
Heat till it starts to bubble, turn down heat a notch.
Crack several eggs (2 per person), or to your taste; cook till the eggs are done the way you like 'em.

Serve with toast or bagels preferably.

Goes nicely with white wine...

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:01 PM

'Spaw, I've made full-fledged stir fry with ramen noodles. The trick is to cook them in water for only two of their three minutes. Drain them, and meanwhile have a skillet with whatever you wanted to slice or dice (I usually use green onions, mushrooms, garlic, carrots, and a little broccoli, all cut in about half-inch pieces, and add some canned shrimp or a little diced chicken). Stir fry until that stuff is ready, then at the last minute add the ramen and some soy sauce and stir it a few times.

You could use tahini if you don't have peanut butter for that ramen mix of yours (yeah, I know, like everyone has tahini and no one has peanut butter).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

Thanks to SueB, who put in the recipe for pork roast with garlic and paprika. I made it yesterday, and it was delicious. Baked it in the oven though, because it had been frozen and I feared that it would produce a lot of liquid in the slow cooker and wash all the paprika off.

At 88 cents a pound I'm sure it fulfilled the order for "the cheapest pork roast you can buy."

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 11:37 PM

Oooh, that's good--the next phase, Bruce: Testimonials! There could be some really interesting reading in these pages over the next few days.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 06:01 PM

Ah yes. Bulls Testimonals, lightly fried...

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Burke
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 08:04 PM

Select pre-cooked, boneless ham from meat case in supermarket. Take to meat counter & ask them to slice it to the thinkness you like. I don't think they'll shave it like in the deli, but will do thin to thick slices.

If they aren't busy they do it for free & your sliced ham is much cheaper than the same stuff from the lunchmeat section.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: GUEST,Tracey Dragonsfriend
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:02 PM

I'm an IT technician, and this is our department's signature recipe :


Technical Toast

Note – This procedure should only be attempted by a qualified Toast Technician.

You need :         Flat bread product (or flat bit sawed from chunk of bread), butter, topping

Also :        Some form of incineration device


Procedure :
Remove flat bread product from wrapper. Examine bread for foreign objects, green/while/blue areas & remove these where necessary. Random furry bits are not recommended for eating, and should also be removed. Ensure that butter is approaching room temperature. If it is rock-like, spreading it on your toast will be difficult - warm it first. You can nuke it (for a second or two - more will result in liquefication) if necessary.


Examine your chosen incineration device, and proceed accordingly -

If a toaster :
Plug in toaster, switch on at socket. If sparks & a nasty buzzing sound ensue, suspect inappropriate dampness and seek alternative incineration method. If rewarded by a lack of noise, or indeed anything else, insert flat bread into obvious bread-receiving slots on top (it will only go in a limited number of ways round - any of these are likely to be fairly successful) of toaster. Set brown-ness dial to a random number, and depress lever to lower bread. Ignore until bread goes "Spung!" and emerges ad high speed.

If a grill :
Turn on grill at "High". If it's a gas grill, do remember to light it, or the following steps will result in at best a lack of toast and a funny smell, and at worst the arrival of the fire brigade. Wait until the flames are nicely blue & flickery, or the elements are glowing beautifully red (if you manage the reverse, call me - you may have discovered something saleable). In the meantime, locate the grill-pan, or insert a suitably shaped bit of chicken-wire or other flat & holey object under the grill. Place the bread in the flat object & slide under the grill.

If a blowtorch :
Knock two 4" (or longer) nails about 1" into the wall. Impale bread on nails. Light blowtorch (avoiding ignition of curtains, sleeves, or other inflammable materials) and play flame evenly over bread until brown. Black is bad.

If a lighter :
Proceed as for Blowtorch. But note that this doesn't work…


Watch the bread in a hawk-like fashion for signs of incipient browning - a light summer suntan is ideal. Flabby February-fishbelly-white is not ideal - keep watching. Charcoal is also not ideal - this state arrives earlier than expected. (Either eat it for the sake of good digestive health, or us it as missiles to annoy the pigeons.) If only one side appears to be crispy and coloured, this is probably due to your choice of incineration device - turn the bread over and repeat the process.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Homeless
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 01:53 PM

Aw, geez. No one said that technical recipes were okay.


1.) 532.35 cm³ gluten
2.) 4.9 cm³ NaHCO₃
3.) 4.9 cm³ refined halite
4.) cm³ partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm³ crystalline C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁
6.) 177.45 cm³ unrefined C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁
7.) 4.9 cm³ methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
9.) 473.2 cm³ theobroma cacao
10.) 236 cm³ de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 BTU/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two, and three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.

To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.

Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300x600 mm).

Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 02:04 PM

Lay a peice of bread on top of a lampshade. Light the light bulb. Any bulb will at least warm the bread, and larger ones will toast it quite nicely. Butter it or jam it if you got it.

Oh. Yeah. Keep an eye on it, and it's best to use a lampshade with a hole in the top SMALLER than the peice of bread.

You can use a lightbulb to warm a lot of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, here are some technical-type cooking recipes. I'll provide links instead of recipes, though.


Grapes.
Poptarts.
Pickles.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 03:16 PM

Thanks for the links, Rapaire! "In the future, we recommend that toasters be sold in six-packs to accomodate important SPT research."

I'll go get a rag and clean the tea off of my keyboard now. I spilled it while I was laughing.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM

Here's another toasting method:

Under a rack, place a small amount of a mixture of finely powdered aluminum and ferric oxide in the proportions of 25.3% to 74.7% by weight, respectively.

Put a slice of bread on the rack.

Put a peice of magnesium ribbon in the mixture and light it. Stand back.   WAY back.

When the mixture burns it will burn at about 2300 degrees C., so watch so that your toast doesn't burn.

Turn over and repeat for the other side.

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 03:57 PM

Take one extremely hot day

scrub then hose down concrete path in backyard

sun should dry out path in about 45 secs

Take some mixed grains of any sort and soak overnight.

add wholemeal flour (rye, wheat, whatever)a pinch of celery salt & maybe some carraway seeds

chuck in a bit of oil , stir & blend thru w fingerstips til evenly spread, add a small amount of water.

mix til dough has rubbery consistency

pull off ping pong ball sized knobs of dough and roll out Very thin with a rolling pin.

place on washed, sun dried concrete path in inner city back yard, leave in sun to bake until crispy

add butter, a cool drink and deckchairs... delicious!

(a friend cooked me some of these in Redfern in the early 80s ... yum..)

fred

Subject: RE: BS: Urgently Needed! Recipe for Toast!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM

Take, egg place in frypan, place on concrete (or better - black asphalt) footpath in Brisbane in heat of brisbane Summer.

Remove when cooked, enjoy.

Robin