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BS: The Worlds Shortest Books

harlowpoet 22 Jan 04 - 01:54 PM
Gern 22 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM
Ebbie 22 Jan 04 - 02:45 PM
GUEST 22 Jan 04 - 03:12 PM
Rustic Rebel 22 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM
alanabit 22 Jan 04 - 04:11 PM
GUEST 22 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM
GUEST,Dave 22 Jan 04 - 04:29 PM
The Fooles Troupe 22 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM
Walking Eagle 22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM
khandu 22 Jan 04 - 09:50 PM
Padre 22 Jan 04 - 11:52 PM
GUEST,MD 23 Jan 04 - 02:36 AM
John MacKenzie 23 Jan 04 - 04:59 AM
Dave Hanson 23 Jan 04 - 05:12 AM
khandu 23 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM
Hrothgar 24 Jan 04 - 03:14 AM
John MacKenzie 24 Jan 04 - 04:25 AM
harlowpoet 24 Jan 04 - 05:36 AM
John MacKenzie 24 Jan 04 - 05:46 AM
GUEST,MD 24 Jan 04 - 06:24 AM
Willie-O 24 Jan 04 - 09:15 AM
GUEST 24 Jan 04 - 12:32 PM
Dita 24 Jan 04 - 02:24 PM
Amos 24 Jan 04 - 04:56 PM
Gareth 24 Jan 04 - 08:36 PM
GUEST,c.sparra 24 Jan 04 - 09:05 PM
freightdawg 24 Jan 04 - 09:30 PM
GUEST,harlowpoet 25 Jan 04 - 04:51 AM
GUEST,MD 25 Jan 04 - 05:59 AM
GUEST,guest robbie 25 Jan 04 - 06:38 AM
GUEST 25 Jan 04 - 07:58 AM
The O'Meara 25 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM
s6k 26 Jan 04 - 04:49 AM
Dave Bryant 26 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM
JohnInKansas 26 Jan 04 - 06:56 AM
GUEST,harlowpoet 26 Jan 04 - 08:53 AM
GUEST,Jim Dixon 26 Jan 04 - 07:48 PM
GUEST,Dewey 27 Jan 04 - 01:03 AM
GUEST,UK 27 Jan 04 - 09:11 AM
Bobjack 27 Jan 04 - 09:42 AM
GUEST,harlowpoet 27 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM
GUEST,Johnny in OKC 27 Jan 04 - 09:39 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 27 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM
GUEST,Ozzy 28 Jan 04 - 08:33 AM
GUEST 28 Jan 04 - 08:36 AM
Dead Horse 28 Jan 04 - 09:04 AM
harlowpoet 25 Jun 04 - 03:50 AM
GUEST 25 Jun 04 - 04:07 AM
Ellenpoly 25 Jun 04 - 05:27 AM
Padre 25 Jun 04 - 11:52 AM
GUEST, TheBigPinkLad 25 Jun 04 - 04:45 PM
Amergin 25 Jun 04 - 05:08 PM
GUEST 25 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM
darkriver 26 Jun 04 - 03:19 AM
GUEST,guest 26 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM
Don Firth 26 Jun 04 - 11:40 PM
Sam L 27 Jun 04 - 03:03 AM
khandu 27 Jun 04 - 11:42 AM
Dave Bryant 28 Jun 04 - 05:38 AM
greg stephens 28 Jun 04 - 07:27 AM
GUEST 28 Jun 04 - 07:47 AM
Mr Red 28 Jun 04 - 08:05 AM
Billy Weeks 28 Jun 04 - 09:52 AM
GUEST 28 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM
Willie-O 28 Jun 04 - 08:17 PM
ced2 29 Jun 04 - 05:45 AM
Dave Bryant 29 Jun 04 - 06:53 AM
Mr Red 30 Jun 04 - 06:12 PM
GUEST,Larry K 30 Jun 04 - 09:32 PM
Mr Red 01 Jul 04 - 04:29 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM
Big Al Whittle 02 Jul 04 - 05:55 PM
Gurney 03 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM
Big Al Whittle 03 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM

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Subject: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: harlowpoet
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 01:54 PM

Though I'd start a fun thread, on the worlds shortest books. Here's some suggestions.


How to Succeed in Show Business by Pete Best

Cooking With Salt by Lot

A Guide To Your First Holy Communion by the Rev Ian Paisley



Anyone else got some?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Gern
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 02:36 PM

I've heard many of these that poke fun at various countries. Although this could easily turn offensive, which is not what I would want, some seem harmless to me. These would include: American Rules of Etiquette, French Military Strategies, Great Moments in British Cuisine, [Fill in the Blank] Table Manners, etc. And how about Banjo Players Who Belong to Mensa? The Wit and Wisdom of Dick Cheney?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 02:45 PM

I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:12 PM

How to Start a Fun Mudcat Thread by harlowpoet


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 03:13 PM

There's a book called "What men know about woman" You open it up and it's all blank pages!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:11 PM

The Wit and Wisdom of George Bush

A Slimmer's Diary by Luciano Pavarotti

My Life in Politics by Screaming Lord Sutch

What I Know About Music by Britney Spears

The Good Parenting Guide by Michael Jackson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:24 PM

Yiddish for beginners
By Osama Bin Laden

Getting The Best From Your Stereo
By Vincent Van Gogh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Dave
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 04:29 PM

Spit or Swallow? By Mary Whitehouse


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:16 PM

My latest publication - available from my website -

"All I learned about Women"
5 pages 50 cents + postage.

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM

This is a true one 'Katz on Dogs' written by a dog trainer, Katz, here in the states.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: khandu
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:50 PM

George Foreman's "Names for Babies"

"How To Sing Well " by Bob Dylan


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Padre
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:52 PM

"The PETA Guide to Great Burger Restaurants"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,MD
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:36 AM

How to speed past light with a warp drive accelerator
By Albert Einstein


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 04:59 AM

The Miami Airport Police book of jokes.
John


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:12 AM

How about one of the worlds shortest songs,'The Ballad of Spiro Agnew ' by Tom Paxton.
eric


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM

"Interesting Things To Do in Alabama" by Anyone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Hrothgar
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 03:14 AM

"Ear Surgery for Beginners" by Mike Tyson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 04:25 AM

The Gargoyle book of one liners.
John


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: harlowpoet
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 05:36 AM

Opening a McDonalds Franchise - Fidel Castro


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 05:46 AM

Tony Blair's little book of Socialism.

How to be Self Effacing by Anthony Wedgewood Benn

Towards Eloquent Speech by G W Bush

Dog Training by Princess Anne

Welsh for Beginners by Anne Robinson & John Redwood

John


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,MD
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 06:24 AM

The Road To Mecca by Ariel Sharon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:15 AM

How I Plan To Make Everything Better In Canada After I Become the New Conservative PM
by Belinda Stronach
see www.belinda.ca


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 12:32 PM

We don't need no meditation -
The Buddha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dita
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 02:24 PM

Where the WoMD are located - George & Tony


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 04:56 PM

Advanced Applications of Humanism in Commercial Societies, by GW Bush


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Gareth
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 08:36 PM

Oi - Giok ( Sorry I havnt the lexicon to type yer new handle )

The case for Scots Independance,

and even shorter,

The Case for an Independant Wales.

And all blank pages - " Good Government" by Michael Howard (Ghosted by M Thatcher)

Gareth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,c.sparra
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:05 PM

Reasons for me to be King:    by Prince Charles.

My greatest achievements:    by David Blaine.

Meals on a Shoestring:       by the Queen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: freightdawg
Date: 24 Jan 04 - 09:30 PM

"The Value of Being Honest"-- Pete Rose with a forward by Bill Clinton.

"Making it on your Own" -- George W. Bush

"Stock Deals For the Common Man" -- Martha Stewart

"Dating Made Simple" -- Kobe Bryant

"Mars on a Shoestring Budget" -- NASA

"Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say" -- Saddam Hussein


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,harlowpoet
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 04:51 AM

Broadcasting. Ethics and Integrity
By Comical Ali


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,MD
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 05:59 AM

The Great Moon Landing Hoax - Buzz Aldrin

Our Father, Who Art In Heaven - Richard Dawkins


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,guest robbie
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 06:38 AM

Caring for the Elderly - Dr Harold Shipma
Decorating That Guest Room -Howard Hughes
What I Learnt from The Mahatma - George Rumsfield
Grace and Modesty :Towards a New Decorum - Paris Hilton
Sexy Dressing to Keep Your Man- Andrea Dworkin


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 07:58 AM

Recipes For Game
By St Francis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: The O'Meara
Date: 25 Jan 04 - 09:49 AM

The Book of Irish Sexuality.

O'Meara


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: s6k
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 04:49 AM

Standard Journalists Notepad
How to make a cup of tea
Gareth Gates autobiography (this will help on the "Counting Sheep" thread here on Mudcat)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM

The Italian book of WW2 heroes.
The Japanese book of great cricketers.
The book of sober Harlow poets :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 06:56 AM

There were several of these that made the rounds of the office periodically, whenever another crop of "new puppies" who hadn't seen them all became comfortable with the office humor.

On appearing regularly was The < you favorite nationality, ethnic group, or social class > Sex Manual

Page 1.          IN
Page 2.          OUT
Page 3.          REPEAT AS NEEDED

I haven't seen it since it appeared as The .*.*.*. SEX MANUAL, in which someone edited Page 3 to

              "REPEAT IF NEEDED."

(We were pretty sure she had a particular .*.*.*. in mind, and she was never seen again after her boss saw it . . . .)

John


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,harlowpoet
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 08:53 AM

Busking In Tehran by Salman Rushdie

The Joy Of Sex by Pope John Paul ii

Women's Soccer, The Need For Longjohns by Sepp Blatter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Jan 04 - 07:48 PM

Care of the Voice, by Howard Dean.
It Pays to Increase Your Vocabulary, by G. W. Bush.
The Anthology of Conservative Humor, edited by Al Franken.
Handbook of Motorcycle Safety, by James Dean, with an introduction by T. E. Lawrence.
Guitar Repair for Beginners, by Willie Nelson.
Winning the Respect You Deserve, by Dan Quayle.
Standing Out in the Crowd, by Dennis Kucinich
Memoirs, by Ronald Reagan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Dewey
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 01:03 AM

She's Coming Back....

Author Unknown...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,UK
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:11 AM

The Golden Age Of Steam by Dr Beeching


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Bobjack
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:42 AM

The Harri Watts band songbook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,harlowpoet
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM

Researching Your Family Tree
By Adam and Eve


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Johnny in OKC
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 09:39 PM

"Viet Nam -- the Lesson We Learned There"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Jan 04 - 10:59 PM

how to putting shelfs up, by jOhn from Ull.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Ozzy
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 08:33 AM

jOhn's boook of hamster recippes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 08:36 AM

12 steps to sobriety-john from hull


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Jan 04 - 09:04 AM

"tYpeing_for_bEgginers" buy jOhn from Hull9


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: harlowpoet
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 03:50 AM

My Reflections
by Count Dracula


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 04:07 AM

A History of Ethics in The Australian Liberal Party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:27 AM

And the book that got lost...

How To Use The Brain I Gave You: The Complete Instruction Manual

By God


..xx..e


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Padre
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 11:52 AM

The Humour of Michael Moore
The Charisma of Al Gore
Camouflage Secrets of Sadaam Hussein


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST, TheBigPinkLad
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 04:45 PM

Saville Row Patrick Moore
Etiquette Chubby Brown
How to say no Keith Richards
Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell
Downhill skiing Sonny Bono
How to Marry a Winner Nicole Simpson
Household Safety Tips Richard Prior
How to score from the spot David Beckham


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:08 PM

Great Leaders of The Republican Party


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jun 04 - 05:19 PM

GUEST, Pink Lad

Cattle Auctioneering Patrick Campbell ... LOL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: darkriver
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 03:19 AM

The Big Book of Swiss Jokes

doug


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM

"Irish Erotic Art"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Jun 04 - 11:40 PM

Moderation as a Guide for Living by Ann Coulter.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Sam L
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 03:03 AM

i DON'T GET SOME OF THESE. The book of Irish sexuality, or Ulysses, by James Joyce. In fact, in the famous obscenity trial, the question of whether the book was unusually concerned with sex was dismissed by the judge because, well, they're celtic, and it's spring.

And a book by Dylan about how he gets so much musicality out of his voice would be pretty interesting.

But who am I to criticise. I don't have a short book. But since I've been facing going back to work full-time for health insurance, and there's a 90 day wait for benefits to start, I did think of checking out a copy of Around The World In 80 Days, and on the last page writing--

...And then in ten more days the health insurance benefits kicked in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: khandu
Date: 27 Jun 04 - 11:42 AM

The following were written by Mudcat Members:
Why I Love Birthday Threads by Joe Offer
Tips on Enunciation by Tweed
Controlling Flatulence by Spaw
Bush: The Mighty Man of God!! by Bobert
Brilliant Accordionists by Carol the Sailor
Belly Dancing with Wolves by Kim C
Stop Flooding Dick! by Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 05:38 AM

"Folk Clubs who have booked me" & "Men I have turned down" both by Avril Betts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: greg stephens
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 07:27 AM

"Hull:the Official Tourist Guide"
"Ben Gurion, Meir and Sharon: the Glory Years" by CarolC
"WMD Sites in Iraq"(UN Inspectorate Official List)
"Things that aren't Rubish" by Sir JOhn from Hull MBE
"Chords Used in Bluegrass Music"
"The Art of Bodhran Playing"
"Classic Mudcat Threads"
"Songs I've never heard of" by Masato Sakurai
"Benefits of the Atkins Diet"
"Relaxing at Home: the guide to success" by David Beckham


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 07:47 AM

Do It Yourself health Care for Canadians..by Stephen Harper


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:05 AM

Brevity for Beginners


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Billy Weeks
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 09:52 AM

'My Gift to Society: Nurturing the Caring Community' by Margaret Thatcher
'How to Retreat Gracefully into Old Age and Become a Really Lovable Old Thing' by Margaret Thatcher
'Joyful Memories of the Poll Tax' by Margaret Thatcher
'My Love and Admiration for Margaret Thatcher' by Ted Heath


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM

"Messiahs who have delivered"
"Useful bible tracts"
"Evidence of life after death"
"The book of good UFO pictures"
"The ACME book of successful roadrunner traps"
"French soaps"
"Kosher charcuterie"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Willie-O
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:17 PM

"Day by day: My accomplishments as Prime Minister of Canada" by Joe Clark, John Turner, Kim What's-Her-Name, Paul Martin Jr and possibly Stephen Harper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: ced2
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 05:45 AM

A number of recent titles:-
1. The Encylopeadia of Rectitude and Honest Behaviour in Government; editors:- Aitkin J, Archer J & Hamilton N; publisher Major Morals in Office, c/o Smith Square, London.
2. No Bonking, A Practical Guide for M.Ps. by Major J, & Parkinson C;
pub Major Morals.
3. Imaginative Uses for Football Shirts by D Mellor; pub. Major Morals
4. Compassion and Sensativity in Governmant by Thatcher, Joseph & Tebbett, Pub Grabda Cashanrun, Smith Sq. London.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 06:53 AM

From a previous posting:-

I used to have one that measured 1 1/2 x 1 1/2 inches...

Sequel: Then I discovered VIAGRA !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 06:12 PM

societies and clubs in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 09:32 PM

The Michael Moore Diet Book
Saying No by Bill Clinton
Natural Charm by John Kerry
Motivaltional speaking by Al Gore
Keeping control of your temper by Howard Dean
Negotiating with terrorists by Jimmy Carter
Everything I know by Kato Kailin, Paris Hilton, and Britany Spears
Great sex with your husband by Hillary Clinton
Swim with confidence by Ted Kennedy
Rational Democrats by Joe Liebeman
Great vaction spots in Europe by Ossama Bin Laden
and finally
Numbers after 10 by David Letterman


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 04:29 PM

Oh be fair - with a name like David Letterman he is never going to be number one Numbersman - now is he? Though what I have seen of him leaves me numb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM

"The Many Good Reasons Why William Shatner Is Not Vitally Important To Human Civilization" by Amos "J".

"All The Things I Love About Cats" by Corridus the Hamster.

"Orangutans I Have Loved" by Chongo Chimp.

"A Return To Love: Part II" by Martin Gibson.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Jul 04 - 05:55 PM

Simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Gurney
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM

How not to keep house........ Za Za Gabor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Worlds Shortest Books
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 03 Jul 04 - 11:31 AM

simple guitar accompaniments by Martin Simpson


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