Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Deckman Date: 31 Jan 04 - 10:14 AM I hope this gives you a chuckle. As I was laying in my hospital bed, JUST before starting my hip surgery, I was visited by all kinds of people: the anesthesiologist, the blood taker, the blood giver, many nurses, and of course the DOCTOR. I smelled the doctor's breath ... NO whiskey smell. I looked at his hands and they were NOT shaking, even though he had blood on his clothes from the previous patent. He then asked me several questions, handed me a magic marker pen, and told me to put an "X" on which hip I wanted replaced. After I did that, he wrote his own name on the right side. A few minutes later, when I was finally alone, I took the same pen that was on the table and drew a verticle line over my right hip. Then I scribbled "START" and "STOP." When I saw him on his morning rounds early the next morning, he was laughing as he came into my room. He said that he'd NEVER seen that one done before and he loved it! CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson (who's ALSO had a triple bi-pass) |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Amos Date: 31 Jan 04 - 09:45 AM Well, this is fine stuff, Skipper! You're in excellent company, folks who have been bypassed and survived it!! I don't know why anyone would want to do such a thing as bypass Kendall though. I find it unthinkable, myself. If they get that lobster meat outta there tell them you want a doggie bag -- that stuff is pricey. A |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: dick greenhaus Date: 31 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM A triple? Kendall, from you I expected at least a home run. Stop playing silly games and get better. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: kendall Date: 31 Jan 04 - 07:36 AM You guys are great! Gargoyle, you surprise me, thanks man. Spaw, the details are this: I failed the stress test. At first I thought, ok, I lack stress, but no, they have their own slant on that. Boils down to this, I have 3 arteries that are partially blocked with something, probably lobster meat, and I need a triple bypass. That will be done on Monday am at 6:30. Assuming they don't screw it up, I'll fill you in after. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Stilly River Sage Date: 31 Jan 04 - 12:34 AM For once Gargoyle got it right! |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: JedMarum Date: 30 Jan 04 - 11:02 PM get well quick, Kendall .. this thread's getting long in the tooth! |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Gorgeous Gary Date: 30 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM Tossing a few more healthy thoughts on the pile...best wishes for a speedy recovery! -- Gary |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Maryrrf Date: 30 Jan 04 - 10:19 PM Here's hoping for a speedy recovery so you can enjoy your trip to the UK |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:58 PM
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Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Art Thieme Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:45 PM Well, Kendall, My old uncle had a hemorrhoid break free and lodge in his heart a few years back. It worked very much like the bypass on the Interstate (I-39) near here. They put in a concrete cloverleaf and eliminated the need for any bypass at all. (You can only hope.) Then they doused it with Prep-H., shrunk it, and it passed easily through the main artery, Interstate-80, also near here, until it was right back where it should've been. Many say that our town, Peru in Illinois, really is the anus of the state. And Bush just introduced to congress a bill that will make the Concrete Cloverleaf the National Flower of the U.S.A. That seems somehow quite appropriate to me since those now outnumber any other variety of flower. Whatever !!! Be well, good sir. Art Thieme |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:24 PM I wrote this before, but I'll pass it along to you as well Kendall. BTW, if you're having the bypass, hopefully they take the vein they will use from inside rather than your leg. Your leg will bother you for weeks after the chest trauma is over!!! Ya know Kendall, it's hard to have a sense of humor when you're in pain ain't it? And the folks who staff these damn places seem to have a weird sense of humor themselves. When I had the quad by-pass, they went to great lengths to explain prior to the surgery about "What to do if you have to cough." They explained all the details of holding the pillow over your chest, arms crossed, etc. Then they said that this was traumatic to the surgical incision (read: chopping your breastbone in half with an ax--actually they use a nice little POWER SAW!!!). Then, as soon as you are off the vent, the first thing they want you to do is COUGH. Now I know this is to keep your lungs clear and prevent pneumonia, but you'd think they could come up with a "Lung Sucker" of some sort so you wouldn't have to wouldn't you? So you cough for them and they say, "Again...a little deeper this time." You wish at this point you were stronger so you could get out of bed and kick their ass. After this comes the cruelest joke. You feel a sneeze coming on. All of a sudden, in that nanosecond before you sneeze, a whole series of thoughts fly through your brain which can be summarized by, "If a cough liked to kill me, this is gonna' be a motherfucker.......and the SOB's never MENTIONED sneezing!!!" After the sneeze, when someone has picked up the quivering blob on the floor that used to be your body and returned it to an upright position, thought #2 hits-----"Sneezes always seem to come in 3's." Uh-huh. Two more sneezes later, you are barely alive and wondering where you can steal some morphine when a nurse walks in and, after a check of your vitals, says, "Okay, now cough...Have to keep those lungs clear don't we?" You try to remember anyone you've known in the past who might be willing to drop by the hospital and beat this bimbo to a bloody pulp. And why do they all say "we." Like, "We have to cough....We have to get our exercise....We have to take our shower." The main practioners of this plural art are always the most unattractive women you have ever met and you want to say, "Honey, I wouldn't get in a shower with you if I was being attacked by Killer Bees." Of course there are bedpans......How the hell can you shit lying flat on your back? Actually you're arched backwards. So they whip the sucker under you and then leave......and don't come back......and in the meantime a group of friends walk in.........right then............. And get a note from your doctor if they use wire and staples to hold your sternum together because you will set off metal detectors stark naked. I'm serious here, especially in this day and age. I really enjoy the part where you try to move around with all the stuff hooked up. Especially fun is walking down the hall with your IV stand held by one hand, your catheter bag half full of piss in the other, and your ass hanging out. Very attractive. Well Kendall, I hope you're having a fun time tonight....the fun doesn't last much longer!!!! Spaw |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Jeri Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:08 PM Kendall, I just got off the phone with Rick. He sends his regards and a wish for your speedy recovery. Me too. You're in pretty good heath for someone undergoing this surgery and should sail through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts, dear. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:57 PM So are they doing what? Are you having open heart or have they done an angioplasty? I got confused along the line here somewhere.......Whatever it is, you got my best thoughts, such as they are. Of course my best thoughts are generally about sex but that's another story..... Spaw |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: kendall Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:51 PM Hey folks, the community confuser is available for a short while, so just want to bring you up to speed. The prognosis is excellent, and I am not a bit worried. Love to you all. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: annamill Date: 30 Jan 04 - 07:49 PM Please be careful! Love, Ann |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: GUEST,Melani Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:40 PM Good luck, Kendall. Looking forward to hearing all the gory details. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Rapparee Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:02 PM Hey, Kendall! My brother had sleep apnea and had some surgeries for it. The last one wasn't laser like the others, it was with a good, old fashioned, scalpel. So the surgeon did an EKG (ECG) and found a very small, very faint anomaly. Said he'd do the surgery and that Tony should get checked out later by his doctor. All went well, and finally Tony went for an echocardiogram stress test. He didn't go home. They slammed him in the hospital and next morning they did nine (9) bypasses. He said to tell you that he's still ahead. If he can survive that AND seven kids, you can go to Blighty after three. Take care, and get well, ya hear? |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Dani Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:47 PM Poor nurses?! Bet they're lining up to volunteer for the overnight, Max. Dani |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: mg Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:27 PM get well soon....mg |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Dave Swan Date: 30 Jan 04 - 02:32 PM Came in late here. Something about you and Catspaw and somebody else in some kind of three way? Well, have fun then. Best of luck with the procedure and a speedy recovery, sir. D |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Walking Eagle Date: 30 Jan 04 - 02:16 PM That hospital website is neat! They are going to think that they have a famous person in there!(;>) |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Max Date: 30 Jan 04 - 02:11 PM Those poor nurses. Love ya Kendall. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Bat Goddess Date: 30 Jan 04 - 01:32 PM The stuff you do for story fodder! And wadya mean, no Guinness?!? Not that long ago it was PRESCRIBED! (Well, especially for nursing mothers and people with kidney stones or just run down and in need of iron, etc.) Thinking about you, Kendall. Lots. (I suppose you'll use this as an excuse not to come to the February shanty singaround . . .) Love ya, Linn |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: GUEST,bbc at work Date: 30 Jan 04 - 12:24 PM Wow, Kendall, that was quick action on your doctors' part! My dad had triple bypass 15+ years ago & is still going strong at 80. His dad had died just after retirement w/ a heart attack. I'm thankful for the advances in medical science! Best to you, Barbara |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: EBarnacle Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:40 AM Good luck on Monday and thereafter. Hang in there and keep the aspidafsteras flying. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Big Mick Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:36 AM Kendall.....given your prodigous repertoire of funnies, I will just give you the punch lines: Sorry......had him set for pheasants. All the best, Mick |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Willie-O Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:52 AM I wouldn't dare tell ya a joke...just do whatever ya need to do to get out of there in due course. Bypass, don't exert yourself for a few days--how hard can that be? Take care and best wishes, skipper. Bill |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: fiddler Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:51 AM Kendal, this is not a case of WCS is it? White Coat Syndrome or the one I seem to get which pushes my stress levels up I'm going to take your blood pressure syndrome. There are no good acronyms for them though. Get well soon - think relaxing thoughs about trips to the UK where everything is smaller and slowere than USA! A |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Amos Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:50 AM Thanks, artbrooks. I told him he should see what people are saying about him with him off line. That oughta get him up!! :>) A |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Fergie Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:45 AM Kendall Best of luck to you from Dublin, keep the spirit and hope that you are fixed and out of there in no time, you will be in my thoughts. Slán go foill Fergus |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Dharmabum Date: 30 Jan 04 - 08:12 AM Hey Kendall, I'd tell you a joke,but I know you've heard 'em all before! Best wishes & a speedy recovery to you. Ron. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Dani Date: 30 Jan 04 - 07:52 AM Good morning, Kendall! Holly and I are sitting here checking up on you. She is just THIS MORNING going back to school because it's been closed since last week because we got a couple inches of SNOW and the damn state shut DOWN! We really need to bring some yankee consultants to show these folks how to get along in the winter. Now, sometimes we get wierd ice stuff that makes it tough to stay warm and get around, but still... How much snow do y'all have to get for your kids to be home from school for FOUR DAYS?! She wants to be sure you AND Seamus are OK, I told her Mary would take good care of both of you! Thanks, Mar. Dani and Holly |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: JennyO Date: 30 Jan 04 - 07:20 AM Well Kendall, I just sent you a message on the patient greeting site, then I noticed it said not to send anything confidential obscene or otherwise inappropriate, so I'm not sure if you will get it :-) Anyway, I'm beaming you lots of healing energy from Oz. Hope to see you back in chat really soon (or else I will have to send Nurse Ratched in to sort you out). Love, Jenny |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:49 AM Me, too- let's keep the ol' salt busy! Allison |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Partridge Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:36 AM I just sent one too. Happy thoughts Kendall Pat x |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Kim C Date: 30 Jan 04 - 06:32 AM Hey, I sent a message through the hospital greeting site - how cool is that?!!? I didn't know they did stuff like that. Let's keep those volunteers busy, shall we?!?! |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Geoff the Duck Date: 30 Jan 04 - 05:53 AM See you at the Yorkshire Gathering in May, Kendall. Here's to a successful OP and a rapid recovery. Geoff. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Dave Bryant Date: 30 Jan 04 - 05:45 AM Isn't it rather counter-productive putting you in a hospital full of pretty nurses, skipper ? I hope it's obly a temporary glitch. Take it n i c e a n d e a s y so that you're fit to come over here in April. You don't need to feel at all stressed about the trip - all us UK catters are goung to make things really easy for you - just leave it to us. You might have to make the odd bit of exertion, but if lifting a pint is too taxing, you can either have halves or we'll find pretty girls to lift the glasses for you ! Best wishes from Linda and myself. (Seamus - LOL) |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Hrothgar Date: 30 Jan 04 - 05:37 AM The hardest part will be not laughing at things like that, Kendall. Take care of yourself, and study harder for your next test. |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 30 Jan 04 - 05:20 AM OK folks. Latest update from Kendall. He was lying in bed with the oxygen mask on when a young nurse came in to massage his arms and legs for circulation, take his temp and blood pressure. The Cap'n said thro' the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?" The young nurse, shocked, said "I'm just here to massage your arms and legs, and take your temperature and blood pressure, sir." Kendall repeated thro' the mask, "Are my testicles black?" She lifted the sheet, lifted his hospital gown, moved his wedding tackle out of the way and peered down. "No sir, they look just fine," she said. The cap'n removed the oxygen mask and murmured, "That was lovely nurse, but are my test results back?" Seamus |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Jeanie Date: 30 Jan 04 - 04:51 AM Thinking of you and sending lots of love and every good wish, - jeanie xxx |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Mark Cohen Date: 30 Jan 04 - 04:34 AM Kendall, just remember one thing. If you're on the table in the OR and you recognize the surgeon who walks in as the ENT who fixed your vocal cords...run away! (Slowly, though.) Lots of good wishes from here in the warm parts. Aloha, Mark Now if you'd taken that vacation in Hawaii like I suggested, you never would have failed that stress test... |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: George Papavgeris Date: 30 Jan 04 - 04:28 AM Best wishes for a successful op and speedy recovery, Kendall! George & Vanessa |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: artbrooks Date: 30 Jan 04 - 04:22 AM The hospital's 'Patient Greeting" site is here. . |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Liz the Squeak Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:47 AM Well you had to go one better than me didn't you! I really hope all goes well and kind words to the Deity du jour are on the way. When you get over here, we can swap recovery stories and compare bruising. Oh ZM, I had mine done in St Bartholomews, London and the bruising is entirely my fault - I bruise like a ripe peach anyway and I wasn't pressing hard enough on the right bit to avoid bleeding. I was concentrating more on not decorating the ceiling in an interesting shade called 'Sanguine de Squeak' and not falling off the bed. LTS |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: fat B****rd Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:30 AM All the best, Mr. K. from the fB |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: SussexCarole Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:30 AM So sorry to hear the news Kendall. Get yourself better for your trip over here - there'll be Guinness by the barrel load waiting. Keep smiling! Carole |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:23 AM Best wishes, Cap'n. RtS |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: KT Date: 30 Jan 04 - 03:10 AM Kendall, lots of prayers and good wishes going out there for ya from here, too! Be well! KT |
Subject: RE: Kendall in hospital From: Shanghaiceltic Date: 30 Jan 04 - 02:41 AM Hi Kendall, Hope all goes well and wishing you a full recovery. Remember that if the nurse call button does not work a well aimed (full) bedpan will no doubt attract their attention! |
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