BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 08:34 PM

Several Mudcat felines came
Their armpits long and hairy
Vlad inhaled their musky smell
And found the stench quite scary.

Some had eaten garlic wings
As Superbowl droned onward.
Some had knoshed on hummus paste
Pita bread and mustard.

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: freda underhill
Date: 02 Feb 04 - 02:46 AM

thanks again charley - but what this thread needs is a few nurses whoops sorry Kendall verses!

you've got the Romainian blood & all...

i think its time to introduce a few Mudcat caharcaters to this one...

free da vampires!

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 11:32 AM

I've read that Vladimir's castle is still a major tourist attraction in Romania. Since my family left that part of Romania in the late 1880's, I really don't know much about it and have been tempted to return for a visit. Still, it's probably wiser not to go back and rack over old bones so to speak. One never knows when strange reality will overwhelm romantic fantasy. Besides, there's far less competition for nocturnal dining here on the coast of Maine.

Tasty thread, fred!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: freda underhill
Date: 01 Feb 04 - 04:40 AM

its amazing how they think of using things for their military potential. I saw an article a few years ago about spider webs and how the US was experimenting with them to make bullet proof vests (apparaently they are very strong)..

fred

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 10:25 PM

Speaking of bats,

I watched a show the other night where they discussed secret weapons of the war. It seems that the U.S. gov't tried using small incendiary bombs tied to bats. They intended to keep them in refrigerated capsules that would keep them in "suspended animation" and drop the capsules from bombers over Japan. The bats would revive and fly off to roost under the wooden rafters of the Japanese buildings and then the incendiary would go off burning the place down. They suffered several casualties to the bats and containers and finally had a succesful test run with live bombs. UNfortunately instead of all of them stopping at the wooden target on the range some of them returned home to their bat house and burned it to the ground. They got one of the watch towers as well!

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: freda underhill
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 10:27 AM

the young one gazed to his bloodshot eyes
she looked to him like dinner
and clutched her tween his throbbing thighs
and sank his fangs right in her..

and slowly slowly he walked out
and slowly she did follow
unto his castle, tall and dark
his heart was cold and hollow....

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: fat B****rd
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 04:56 AM

Vlad The Inhaler...Ho ho. I like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: LadyJean
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 12:49 AM

The bottles stood empty all in a row.
The whiskey, the brandy, the wine and the gin
were gone with the beer. Oh, where did they go?
Why was our alcohol gone with the wind?

He came in the night, dressed all in black.
He came to our party, oh how could we tell?
He looked like a mortal, alas and alack!
Our party was crashed by a fiend straight from hell!

That creature of darkness, of nocturnal ooze
He's the reason our liquor is gone!
Count Drunkula came! he sucked up all our booze!
And vanished, like mist, in the dawn.

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: Mudlark
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:43 PM

Then slowly he did bare his teeth
And slowly he came nigh her
And all that he could think to say
Was dear bride, I am a liar

I am a prince, of royal rank
But a prince of darkness, I be
And you my dear, are but a sip
A draght that will delight me

A sip each night, to plump my cheeks
A sip at dawn for good measure
Then we'll sleep away the cursed bright day
Again rise at dark for pleasure

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: GUEST,Bleeding Gums Boris
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 11:23 AM

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

.......

Subject: RE: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: GUEST,Natasha Smasher
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 10:59 AM

she wandered in to the ballroom draped in black velvet lace
her steel blue eyes locked with his their lips locked in juicy embrace

her sisters watched in dismay, they thought he was darkly unnerving
get out of here quick, my Darling, he's drooling at the mouth and perving....

He's a control freak, he'll make you suffer
Can't I rip off those rose coloured glasses,
You're so sweet, you optimistic duffer
he could really make you suffer............

Subject: BS: Vladimir the Inhaler; Vampire Villain
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Jan 04 - 09:31 AM

A True Tail of Vampires, Villains, and Vice...

welcome to the land of the living dead and hear my sorry tale
of a cruel man who murdered me and feasted on my entrails....
I am the ghost of a sorrowful maid forced forever to roam the night
in limbo , never to rest again, imprisoned by death and fright

His name is Vladimir and he currently resides
in a waterfront mansion in Maine
I met him at the Mudcatter's Ball and remember that evening in pain
He charmed me with his flashing eyes and thrilled me with his .. smile
he ran his fingers through my hair and won me with his guile

I left my home to join this brute on one vile and foolish night
I joined him in his house of dreams to savour sweet delight
Little did I know that Vladimir did harbor secrets vile
I only saw his snowy skin, his lips and bloodred smile...

Inhaler? you ask.. my Vladimir was a snorter debonaire
The white powder that he inhaled did fuel his derriere
a Blinding Flash would fuel his rage a snort of coke or speed...

Calm down old boy I pleaded, Vlad,please, try a bit of weed....

I remember that night so vividly he came to the bed with a smile
I noticed his eyes were rather glazed but more of that in a while..
for there is a young maiden in danger of becoming his next new bride
I must try and warn her to keep away or there'll be another young woman who's died..


... Dead Wife

Can you rescue the next young victim?
add your voice to the tail, of Vladimir.... the inhaler...