Obit: Allan C.'s Mom

Subject: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Allan C.
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:14 AM

Mom died early this morning as the result of heart failure. She lived a very long and wonderful life.

Some of you might not know that I am now living in Dallas, Texas. This is where Mom, known then as Thelma Margaret Lacy, grew up. A few days ago a young Mexican woman came to my door. She was selling steaming hot tamales. How could I not buy some? Nearly eighty years ago my mother was doing precisely the same thing in this same city – and probably for the same reason. Her family was very poor.

In 1941 she married Cecil Clark, a Naval officer. It turned out to be one of the happiest marriages anyone might imagine. They had two sons, Paul in 1943 and me in 1946.

I guess my fondest memories of Mom are those of seeing the joy she got from gardening. She always kept beautiful flowerbeds at each of our many homes. I also enjoyed sitting on a stool in the kitchen, watching as she worked her magic there. Mom was a good cook but was an excellent baker, producing chocolate éclairs to die for!

She was a happy woman. Mom especially liked making new friends – especially those who sent written correspondence. This was particularly evident a couple of years ago when many of the fine folks here in Mudcat land showered her with birthday greetings. Some of you even sent gifts. More often than you can imagine, she read and reread those cards. She didn't know who you were, but she marveled more that you cared enough to write. The gifts were among her favorite possessions.

Mom appreciated music of all sorts. I am sure she was not the only woman who once had a huge crush on Perry Como. In more recent years, I played many recordings for her that had been made by Mudcatters. She even got to listen to a few Paltalk sessions. Mom absolutely loved all of it and often clapped along with the livelier tunes. She was also my biggest fan.

There are so many other bits about Mom I could share. A few of them have to do with some of the 'Catters Mom has met as well as some of the wonderful things they did for her. But not unlike the life Mom lived, this post has to stop at some point. I'll close by sharing Mom's motto, which she said she learned from her home economics teacher: "Make your plan then work your plan."

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:24 AM

Allan - you know you are in our thoughts -

it's nice to hear more of your Mom's life - any woman who raised you desrves to be remembered!

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: GMT
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:27 AM

My condolences Allan on your loss. From what you write it seems your Mom was a wonderful lady. It's great you have so many happy memories.

Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:30 AM

A beautiful tribute, Allan. Our best thoughts and wishes to you at this time, from JtS and me.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:34 AM

Condolences from here in the Lone Star State, Allan. She sounds like a wonderful mom. Telling her stories will keep her with you.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:35 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss Allan and thank you for sharing some of your many memories.

Love and hugs
Khatt

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:47 AM

Allan...........one of my very favorite Mudcatters.........why does it not surprise me that YOUR Mom would be a gentle soul? I now know where the subtle grace that you bring to your music comes from. Congratulations to Thelma Margaret Lacy on a life well lived. I wish her well on the next leg of the journey, and assure her that her legacy lives well in her son. Her voice is heard in you, and her song will be sung by those that she touched. I can't be near you just now, but know that I am with you just the same.

God be good to her.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Tinker
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:49 AM

Allan just a quick hug here, I'll write more later. Thanks for sharing a wonderful word picture of a great lady. Holding you close.

Tinker

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Mooh
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:06 AM

Our hopes and prayers for your comfort and her rest.

I better write to my mother.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:37 AM

Rest well, Thelma Margaret. You have earned it. My sympathy, Allan for your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:47 AM

. . . . . .

love,

~Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:50 AM

Loving words from a loving son......and I would have expected no less. My very best thoughts to you my friend may all children be blessed with such a wonderful parent............

God sought to give the greatest thing
In his almighty power to earth.
And deeply wondering,
What should it be, in one moment,
Of great joy and love of heart,
Outweighing every other,
He spread the gates of heaven apart,
And gave to earth a Mother.

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 12:15 PM

Oh, Pat, that's beautiful...streaming tears here.

Allan, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you had the last few years to spend with her and help her out at home. Thank you for sharing even more of her with us; it was so much fun to send those cards and know they were a delight for her to receive.

When we say "May all good things come to pass" I guess it means moms, too. It's a tough one to weather. If you need to talk, give me a holler.

My mom loved her gardening, too. Jeri wrote a beautiful song about it, based on "bet's" posting about our mom and her garden. Ivan B. performed it for us all in Paltalk once. I'll put a link in, as I think you'd see your mom in it, too.

All our love,

Kat & Rog

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 12:17 PM

Here's the thread with my sister's words and Jeri's song: Song for my Mom

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Robin2
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 02:52 PM

Thanks for sharing her life with us. Many thoughts going your way

Robin2

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 03:17 PM

Thelma, like her son, had a wicked sense of humor. I enjoyed the hours we spent together. My favorite moment? Has to be the train trip up a river gorge to see eagles' nests. She and I went to the ladies room only to discover that it was like walking on a bucking bronco. Thelma was a bit frail but determined. And she did not want me in the stall with her. So giggling like a pair of pre-adolescents, we used the facilities and amused anyone within earshot.

Thelma had a full life filled with wonderful stories. It saddened me when she had to leave her home. Now she is safe with her Navy officer.

Bless you, Allan. You did right by her and she loved you dearly. She told me so.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: open mike
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 03:31 PM

Oh, Allan, my heart goes out to you.
And my tears, too
Is your brother with you there?
All these gardening mothers..
and we were their fondest crop!
After my mother's death in 2002,
I read a poem at the memorial service.
By the poet who wrote When I am old,
I shall wear Purple. It mentioned
remembering people by the delicious
harvests from their gardens. Treasure
your memories, and I wish you strength
to perform the many tasks that will be
required of you in the near future.
Thanks for the memories and the love story!
((((((ALLAN)))))) sending you hugs.
Laurel

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 03:42 PM

My friend, Allan:

What a touching tribute to your Mother. My wife and I went to a funeral yesterday and in the black Baptist churches they call them homegoings. Even though there is mourning at the loss (and the woman who died had a sudden heart attack) there is also rejoicing for a life well-lived.

One of the first times I sang with my quartet, we sang at the homegoing of the sister-in-law of Frankie, one of the members of my group. One of the songs we sang was When I Get To Glory, and people actually got up out of their pews and danced in the aisle. For a midwestern white kid, that was something totally new to me. But, it seemed right.

I know the angels are dancing in Heaven today, Allan...

Jerry

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: fat B****rd
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 03:58 PM

Please accept my condolences.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 04:10 PM

Lost my Mother last week too, she also went unexpectedly due to a ruptured Aneurysm. 83 years old not a bad span.
So I know how you feel. and share your sadness.

"Thyme it is a precious thing."

John

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 04:20 PM

Here's to your mom's chocolate éclairs and a life that sounded full and entertaining. Sorry for your loss.
Rustic

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 05:19 PM

Allan, I am sorry for your loss and know that your mom knew how she was loved by you. Blessings in this difficult time.
Love,
Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 05:43 PM

Very sorry to hear, Allan, but I thought you were in England? The boys say Hi to their Uncle Allan, and send condolences as well.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Annie
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:42 PM

Alan

If we live well at all, it seems it is by example. Thanks for sharing a tribute to your mom. Feeling deepest sympathy for your loss.

Hugs and love.....

Annie

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: DonMeixner
Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:47 PM

Congratulations on being so blessed with a mother any one could envy and admire. My condolences to you for your loss.

Don

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: alison
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:02 AM

allan & giok, so sorry to hear of your losses

not much I can add that hasn't already been said... but know that I am thinking of you

love, good thoughts and hugs

alison

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: karen k
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:16 AM

Allan,
My thoughts are with you. From your tribute to your mom and from knowing you I feel like I knew her a little bit. I remember when you moved to West Virginia to care for her. I know you will miss her but you have memories that will stay with you forever. Just imagine how many people are better people because they knew and loved your mom. My condolences to you and your brother. I hope you will make to to next year's Getaway. I didn't know you were in Texas.

Be well and take care.
k

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:48 AM

Giok, my condolences to you, too.

kat

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: open mike
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:22 AM

Home-Going....I like the sound of that...
glad she is "home" now...and that the
"suffering here below" is over-for her.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: mouldy
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:47 AM

My heart goes out to you. Even after a long and happy life, for which no regrets need be felt, the separation is hard.
Those of us who have trod the same path will be thinking of you.

I like the Bishop Brent verse on "What is Dying?" My brother in law found it comforting when his daughter died.

I am standing on the sea shore.
A ship at my side spreads her
white sails in the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I
stand and watch her until at last
she fades on the horizon.

Then someone at my side says,
"There, she has gone."
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large in the mast,
hull and spars as she was
when she left my side.
The diminished size
and total loss of sight
is in me and not in her.
And just at the moment when
someone by my side says,
"She is gone,"
others take up the glad shout,
"There she comes".

Bishop Brent 1862-1929
Bishop of the Philippines

Andrea

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Janie
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 08:22 AM

Dear Allan,

I just now saw this post. As others have said, thank you so very, very much for sharing what she was like with us. You were blessed to have one another. Hugs and love,

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: open mike
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:32 PM

Another poem i found helpful--
eespecially when coupled with
the notion that for the soul,
leaving the body could be like
slipping a tight shoe off your
foot--a freedom and a comfort:

THEY SOFTLY WALK

They are not gone who pass
Beyond the clasp of the hand,
Out from the strong embrace.
They are but come so close
We need not grope with hands,
Nor look to see, nor try
To catch the sound of feet.
Tehy have put off their shoes
Softly to walk by day
Within our thoughts, to tread
At night our dream-led paths
Of sleep.

They are not lost who find
The sunset gate, the goal
Of all their faithful years.
Not lost are they who reach
The summit of their climb,
The peak above the clouds
And storms. They are not lost
Who find the light of sun
And stars..and God!

The are not dead who live In
hearts they leave behind.
In those whom they have blessed
They live again,
And shall live throught the years
Of eternal live, and grow
Each day more beautiful
As time declares theur good,
Forgets the rest and proves
Their immortality.
      -Hugh Robert Orr

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Genie
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:54 PM

Sorry to hear of your mother's passing, Allan. And yours, John.

Your tribute to your mom really 'connected' with me, reminding me of some of the things I love most about my own mom.

As you put it so well, open mike, "All these gardening mothers.. and we were their fondest crop!"

{{{{{{{{{{Allan and John}}}}}}}}}}

Genie

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: jimmyt
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 03:23 PM

To Alan and John Mackenzie, Sorry to hear of both your losses. I lost my mom when I was pretty young, I think I was 24, and I have never quite dealt with the loss properly. Alan, your post may help me to do that. Thanks    jimmyt

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Helen
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 04:46 PM

Allan & John,

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

I am sure that you will both feel your Mothers' presence around you and the loss will not feel so heavy, after a while. I find that people who have passed over will often come to see me briefly just after they pass, but then after a gap of usually 3 to 6 months they come to visit more regularly.

The gap often depends on how much physical or emotional healing they need to do, on the other side. I often see them lying on a bed, in a beautiful garden, with their friends and loved ones at their bedside, watching over them as they recover their former physical and emotional strength. The idea of the ship disappearing from view over the horizon, and being welcomed in a different place - that says it for me.

Helen

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: Hollowfox
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:27 PM

Ah, Allan and John, my heart goes out to the both of you as well. Please, remember and pass around their stories; they are the best tribute you can give, besides living like the good folk you are.

Subject: RE: Obit: Allan C.'s Mom
From: IvanB
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:00 PM

Allan, although I never met your mother in person, I remember the conversation you and I had about our respective mothers several years ago at the Getaway. At the time I had just lost my mom and you had moved to WV to be with yours due to her health. I came to know your mother through your words and that helps me better understand the loss you must be feeling. I hope you can continue to focus on all the ways she has influenced your actions and thus remains in your life. If so, she will live on though she is physically gone.