Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 01:58 AM

Guest---Ronnie Barker's full quote was "Gentlemen! Glaise your asses to the Queer old Dean!" Wonder what Mr Spooner would have made of one of our local pubs on Vancouver Island --"The Fish and Duck". Or the local water ski club title--" The Sproat Lake Fog Duckers". [!!]

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 02:05 AM

Pete---sorry, I can't do better than you on the names of Northern Front members. Along time back., eh? Wonder if you can recall Benny "the Whale" Graham, Jim Sharp, Brian Watson, Geordie Hunter, Terry Conway---and all the talents of the "Ranters" --- What a hotbed of traddie folk music the NorthEast was--and is...

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Chip2447
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 03:25 AM

"It's a simple song, most of you should be able to keep up."

"Hey, it's the poster child for planned parenthood."

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 06:14 AM

Hi,Boab,
North East England indeed was and is a hotbed of Folk and writers.
Yes I remember Benny and I occasionally see Jinm Sharp - great and distinctive performers.
If I could refer you to the earlier : TheBigPinkLad 02 Mar 04 - 06:35 PM.
I walked out on to a stage at Heppburn and had the same feeling - the audience was made up entirely of more talented musicians and singers than I was:- the Doonans , Hedgehog Pie etc.jeez what a baptism of fire that was.
Perhaps you/we should start a new thread on N.East singers,
musicians and writers, but,
to stay true to this thread I`m sure Les Barker can claim copyright to the phrase a "Wit of a Banker".
3rd member - was it Nic someone - I`m ashamed I can't
remember , he was a bloody decent bloke an'all.

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Lancashire Lad
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 06:43 AM

One from the late Hamish Imlach

"If you dont shut up, I'll sit on your lap and fart". Anyone who had the pleasure of seeing Hamish will know how much that would of hurt. He was legendary for his love of curry too.

LL

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Cluin
Date: 03 Mar 04 - 01:38 PM

"You guys suck!"

"You swallow."

The man with the microphone holds all the trumps.

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: GUEST,Dave S
Date: 04 Mar 04 - 01:22 AM

The third member of The Northern Front was Nick Fenwick

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: matai
Date: 04 Mar 04 - 02:19 AM

Once a friend of mine was performing at a small venue where one particularly drunk guy heckled her. She stopped, looked at him and said 'Now I know why some Mother's eat their young.' He didn't interject again.

Matai

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 04 Mar 04 - 10:13 PM

New CITY...New JIG...

The same ol' smacks with a flounder side the face...work....they are comfortible at the ol; I,IV,V

A REAL problem occurs when the resident-drunk, friend of the bar-keep, and patron of 30% of the night's receipts...is the heckler.

Keep Peace...and put in place....

As Simon said, "You gotta keep the customer satisfied."

Sincerely<,br> Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Shimbo Darktree
Date: 04 Mar 04 - 10:55 PM

At our local folk club, regulars are so regular, and heckles are so familiar (repetitive), that one of our performers (I swear I won't mention your name, Anne), circulated a numbered list of comebacks. It is much easier to yell out "Five" than "Shut up Roger!". By the way, Roger is one of this forum's regulars, but wild horses won't make me tell you who! Roger is a professional heckler, and, because it is done without malice, the whole club including the performers (I am one) enjoys the by-play. So, there is a place for it, and I wouldn't do without it for quids!

Shimbo (you're not getting my name either)

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 02:12 AM

Yeah, Roger is heaps of fun. He doesn't always beat me to it, but I usually wait for his input, as he was the 'house heckler' long before I turned up... :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 06:23 AM

Thankyou Dave S. and many many apologies to Nick (04 Mar 04 - 01:22) AM
.

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: dermod in salisbury
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 08:30 AM

I've heard of a ready wit. Be sure and let us know when yours is ready.

Do you mind standing up, sir. I want to prove I'm not working you with my foot.

I'd hate to be like that in my 40s. The girls would swap me for two 20s.

boom boom

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: Lil Dog Turpy
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 09:10 AM

At a comedy club in montreal, a couple sitting right in the middle of the front row, inches from the stage were having a conversation audible to most in the room about what they thought of the show so far.

The comedian came back with ... "This isn't television you know .....   I can hear you!"

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 05 Mar 04 - 09:42 AM

I `ad that Alex Campbell in my cab once. `e looked well pissed off. I asked `im what`s the matter? `e said `ed just `ad to deal with a `eckler `oo was three sheets to the wind. I asked `im what `e said to `im? `e said the last time `e saw a mouth like that it `ad a ¬ook in it
What am i like?

Subject: RE: Your Favourite Audience Insult/Comeback?
From: kendall
Date: 06 Mar 04 - 03:59 AM

My friend, Glenn Jenks, who used to work with Jud Strunk (Daisy a Day) once had a heckler. At the break, Glenn asked the bar tender if he could "Put that guy out" Bar man says, "Sure I can."
Before the next set, the barman gave the heckler a water glass half full of whiskey. Within a short time, he was face down on the table.