Lyr Req: Rogaine (parody of 'Cocaine')

Subject: Lyr Req: Cocaine Parody;Rogaine
From: Dharmabum
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 02:51 PM

I saw Mike Cross do this a couple years back at the Philly Folk Fest.
Sung to the J.J Cale tune "Cocaine".
Anyone know where I could find the lyrics?
I've already checked Mike's discography,doesn't look like he's recorded it.

Thanks,D.B.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cocaine Parody;Rogaine
From: open mike
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:04 PM

ca't help there but i have heard the version that is
P R O P A N E

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cocaine Parody;Rogaine
From: Dharmabum
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:37 PM

Thanks Mike,
It was actually the propane song that sparked my memory about the rogaine version.

I've got a "Folicly impaired" friend that will get a real laugh out of the song,if I can locate the words.

The search continues.


         D.B.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Cocaine Parody;Rogaine
From: Dharmabum
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 02:15 PM

Just thought I'd give this one another go round.

   D.B.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rogaine (parody of 'Cocaine')
From: GUEST,dbk.1955
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 08:48 AM

This is one version. I've heard other variants. There's a YouTube video of it circulating too; enter cocaine rogaine marlinaires into Google to find it. Apparently Mike Cross and even Eric Clapton have performed it, also.

Rogaine

If your hair's getting thin, and it just won't grow in, Rogaine
If it's getting you down, you look like Bozo the clown, Rogaine
Listen guy, don't be shy, go and buy – Rogaine

Your scalps nice and pink and hair is cloggin' the sink – Rogaine
Don't forget this fact – it ain't growing back- Rogaine
Listen guy, don't be shy, go and buy – Rogaine

If your shiny on top, don't need no barber shop – Rogaine
If you don't need a comb because of your dome – Rogaine
If it's been your worst fear to look into the mirror – Rogaine
You know it's really a snap, just pull on a cap – Rogaine

(Lead)

It ain't happened to me, but I got sympathy – Rogaine
Got no hair on your head, it's on your back instead - Rogaine

Listen guy, don't be shy, go and buy – Rogaine

Why not try, why not try, why not try – Rogaine

-END-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rogaine (parody of 'Cocaine')
From: open mike
Date: 29 Apr 10 - 02:45 PM

you might also check out the song that says "you're not losing hair, you are gaining face" by the 4 Bitchin' Babes...or Christine Lavin
with a line that also rhymes testosterone with chrome dome...in a good way!

Subject: Lyr Add: ROGAINE (Mike Cross)
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 10:06 AM

Mike Cross Lyrics...

If you use to have hair, Now there ain't any there - Rogaine
If the hair on your head has all got up and fled - Rogaine
You Can Try; You Can Try; You Can Try - Rogaine

If your friends all call you "Ole Cueball" - That's a shame
And if you try your head off with a polishing cloth - Try Rogaine
You Can Try; You Can Try; You Can Try - Rogaine

(Instrumental Break)

Try the Rogaine Plan; Rub it in with your hand - Rogaine
And then try to stay calm If you grow hair on your palm - Rogaine
You Can Try; You Can Try; You Can Try - Rogaine

Rogaine
Rogaine
Rogaine
Rogaine
Rogaine

Subject: Lyr Add: ROGAINE (Vince Vance & the Valiants)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 11:53 PM

I have omitted some spoken patter from this transcription:

ROGAINE
As recorded by Vince Vance & the Valiants on "Tamale Wagon" (1998)

If you'd rather be dead than to have a bald head – Rogaine
New hair can be grown on your shiny chrome dome – Rogaine
We don't lie; we don't lie; you should try – Rogaine

If your face is all red 'cause you're called melon-head – Rogaine
You won't need a rug if you use this drug – Rogaine
We don't lie; we don't lie; you should try – Rogaine

If you're gettin' all stressed 'cause your head is undressed – Rogaine
No more hair in the sink; get a head like a bink(?) – Rogaine
We don't lie; we don't lie; you should try – Rogaine
We don't lie; we don't lie; you should try – Rogaine

Subject: Lyr Add: ROGAINE (David Petete)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Oct 13 - 12:07 AM

ROGAINE
As recorded by David Petete on "The Off White Album" (2013)

When your hair's fallin' out, don't scream and shout – Rogaine
No need to cry when your hair says bye-bye – Rogaine
It's all right; it's all right; it's all right – Rogaine

When your hair disappears then grows out your ears – Rogaine
When the protein you lack grows wild on your back – Rogaine
It's all right; it's all right; it's all right – Rogaine

When your family tree is as bald as can be – Rogaine
What can you say? You've got bad DNA – Rogaine
It's all right; it's all right; it's all right – Rogaine

When you use your comb and nobody's home – Rogaine
When Mother Nature's forgotten to cover your noggin – Rogaine
It's all right; it's all right; it's all right – Rogaine
It's all right; it's all right; it's all right – Rogaine