BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN

Subject: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 03:15 PM

Last year was dominated in duel terms by MCFAT against Old Git the allegations of bribery and corruption continue but the new season is aproaching and Kampervan has began to throw caution to the wind by challenging said MCFat.

Last year at Beverley MCfFat and I tied the knot - It only lasts a year and a day and then I get to pick a new husband. At Beverley last year Kampervan asked to be husband number 4 so I guess its duel time again to see which of these two gallant songslayers can win the hand of a fair maid - no comments Raggy!!

Are there seconds and thirds for a Beverley Duel?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Ed.
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 03:40 PM

The vast majority of us don't care in the least.

Why don't you conduct such messages privately?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 04:24 PM

Who's Ed? and do we care?

What's the fun in doing anything privately or seriously? Who wants to be part of the vast majority. Ed obviously. Get a life get light, get light-hearted, fall in love with Red or White Rabbit, get silly.

Pleeeeeease don't get boringly judgemental

We love everybody on Mudcat

In the meantime .. bring on Banjo Jim for Glencoe the replay; aka the McDonalds lose again. Looks like a June honeymoon for us R&WR

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 06:54 AM

Dearest Ed

sorry if we have offended you but the title of the thread did give some indication of what it was about - it is a BS thread and if you dont care why look?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MCFAT
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 07:10 AM

Ed you are talking like your TV counterpart from a number of years ago - out of your aa..............rchibald

I can only accept said duel if my twusty second sir wraggetache keeper of the Runswick Lifeboat money and Lord Kenneth of Brampton my third can attend to their duties.


I challenge you Kampervan - you soft southern jesse nana-nana -na naH - to swap as many credit cards as possible cos you're Norfolking good!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 09:56 AM

What's this?
Conditions already.
"I can only come out to play of my friends can come too". Whinge whinge. Is this the man that won the heart of R&WR? and if it is should you have?
I can't believe that she gave even the time of day to such a craven duel-dodger.

I may be resident in the sunny south (remember the sun Jim?)
but I have the heart of a man who's got a brave heart, whoever that is.
Your songs won't save you this time. You're up against a man who spent hours listening to Danny Couper play his banjo and came out SANE. So there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 02:08 PM

Swine Vamperkan, you have slighted my Leige and thus you shall feel the wrath of his venom and I, as always, shall be his trusty second, you obviously ken little of the ways of gentlemen, not unsurprising given the nature of scoundrels such as yourself.

That being said I would consider you a tad more worthy than Ed who could and perhaps should ..............off

If Numpties like him don't want to read the drivel we put on why on earth do they click on the thread, I can only ascribe it to their lack of intelligence

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:46 PM

Raggytash
I pay due tribute to thy valour,honour and loyalty to he who is not worthy of a listing in the credits.
But why such commitment to a paltroon who cannot come forth without a bodyguard.
I mean - Whitney Houston he is not! (she can nearly sing!)

And anyway, I've felt the roff of 'is venom before. A couple of large whiskies soon sees me alright.

And who is this Ken Little and 'is gentlemanly ways. Doesn't sound very scary to me. Another Scottish lager head I shouldn't wonder. Well just watch them all run scared when faced with a true English bitter drinker. That's someone who drinks english bitter, not someone who's english and bitter and a drinker.... oh sod it. BE AFRAID, O.K.?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 05:13 AM

'Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go,
ere we go, ere we go, ere we go-oo..!!

Sort him out good and proper this time, KV. It's about time he paid for his sculduggery and blatant sabotage of previous duels. Watch out for the jury-knobbling.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:16 AM

Methinks the man doth protest too muchest. I strike your cheek with my glove (or aleast a mangy oven mitt) and challengest thou pesky southern disco piss drinking unworthy knave to the duel... the survival of the fattest...it's gloves off, handbags at the ready nah nah nah sucks yah boo to you. Bring on Deanie as well we'll see you all off !!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:30 AM

Do you need a second, KAMPERVAN ? - I'd be pleased to oblige.

I take it that banjos breach the arms limitations conventions.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:03 AM

Damned decent of you Mr Bryant.Ta muchly. Offer gratefully accepted. I get the feeling that I'm going to need someone to watch my back when those supposedly chivalrous nerds get going. I can't imagine McFat limiting himself to a full frontal.

As for the banjos, well I don't use the things myself, but I fully expect that as the duel comes to a painful end (and Jimbos end will be painful), well we can expect Mc to pull something out, and it MIGHT JUST BE A BANJO.

But it will avail him little, and his dastardly cheating tictacs will only make our victory the sweeter.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:04 AM

Oh Oh I am quaking in my boots ............ I think not, bring on the second I'll deal with him, anyway MC who is the Vamping Clump person, do I know the scoundrel

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 09:16 AM

See me and creep    ......away oh Raggytash. For I am the largest realist strongest cleverest cleverthing that you have ever seen.

Just reflect that although I may be the last thing you ever see, at least I will be the prettiest

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:53 AM

But I Sire, am DASTARDLY



(yes I CAN spell, Thank you)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:40 PM

That's ok then

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:19 AM

ooh goody they are setting up this years duel in style - I dont remember any formal slaps with gloves across the face last year!

Raggy - Kampervan has a very beautiful young daughter - you might wish to claim her for your harem

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:16 AM

Don't even think about it, Nicholas.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:59 AM

I have no fear of being claimed by Raggy - always a second, never in front!?.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:20 AM

I ineveriably come second .......... Is the daughter of legal age, if so she will be a welcomed addition to my harem

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:21 AM

Spoils of war can be bountiful to the victor

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:40 AM

Raggy, in the completely unlikely event of you and McFat gaining a victory (which could only be by some form of base sculduggery) will you also be expecting to drag Essex Girl off to your harem ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:40 AM

After watching 'Braveheart' for the umptieth time, can I claim 'primo nuptia' rights on said daughter (He says twisting his tash and having an evil lecherous look on his face)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 05:52 AM

Oi Davy boy, you don't catch me out that easily, trying to unload one Missus, sorry old girl spoils of war, due homage etc Whilst you sod off with a new model ......... nice try but doomed to failure with me, try MC he might not spot your wily ways

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 10:55 AM

Well - it was worth a try ! - anyway, I don't think she'd fancy Jim !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 01:58 PM

Oh, you poor deluded fools. Anyone who thinks that Bigbird aka daughter of Kampervan can be viewed as "The spoils of war" needs their brain cavity opening up to see what they've got in place of the brains that are so obviously missing.

Mein kinder is not just a law unto herself, she is the statute book; and she makes the rules.

Not that will worry anyone, cos the Grean Meanie from Wolfsburg is not going to be beaten by some woad wearing Scottish exile.

Anyone who didn't watch Braveheart can see what quartering aa Scot really looks like if they come along to see Jimbo slaughtered.

KV & DB are the business.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:39 PM

Big Bird is staying very quiet - must be scuba diving again

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:08 PM

Cor!! Spoils of war that go diving, Wink Wink

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:09 PM

with apologies to any close relatives

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:28 AM

..we don't need no apologies, we don't need no thought control , hey Kamper leave Fatboy alone...

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:54 AM

Going to Whitby this year KAMPERVAN ? - I think we'll probably have to take the fight to them as they're rather afraid of coming south. Anyway an "away win" always carries more points.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:57 AM

Spoils of war? Be careful what you wish for Raggy! I think you'll find me a somehwhat 'disruptive' addition to your harem.

And from what I've heard, 'diving' and you would involve me running out of air before I found anything!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:05 AM

THWACKKKK!! KERPOWWW! Take that, Sir Rascaltash!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:32 AM

all in all it's just another thick Scottish brawl

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 07:45 AM

Oi Bogbird, I've got a bigbird of my own and you'll not find any in my harem who complain ........... no their all part of the new pier at Whitby.

However it is noce to know that CampingStove has some support other than his truss

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 07:46 AM

Apologies for appalling English there

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 08:48 AM

You apologising for all the apalling English then Raggy. I meam that includes Jeffrey Archer as well mate.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 09:43 AM

"you'll not find any in my harem who complain ........... no their (I think he means they're) all part of the new pier at Whitby."

Obviously Raggytash has had quite a lot of ladies who showed contempt for his technique. Noticing his method of disposal for those willing to criticise him, I'm beginning to wonder if the "diving" comments are actually meant as a veiled threat to the remainder of his so-called harem, rather than a reference to his desire for oral stimulation.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 09:54 AM

Oi? Oi?
Is that any way to address a lady?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:04 AM

I hope that none of my remarks have caused you distress, Big Bird. I must admit though that I initially read "address" as "undress" - which produced a momentary spasm of pleasure - I must go and scourge myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:28 AM

Madam Big Bird, how can you support this rapscallion and yet lay claim to be a lady, surely you know this delinquent malefactor is no match for a lady, pray have nought to do with this evildoer and blackguard, no, you deserve much better things than he could ever offer a lady who seeks refined, genteel company such as you would find with me.




PS Oi Essex Boy, still got your white socks on with your black shoe's, I was aware that I had in my haste mistyped certain words, thus I pur a thread to this effect, did you not understand, you bucketfull of sheep snot.

Lady Rabbit, are you missing me

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:31 AM

PUT

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:36 AM

.....another log on the fire ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:45 AM

a spell on you....?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:48 AM

your left leg in
put your left leg out
put your left leg in
and you shake it all about...

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:50 AM

It's all hypothetical, Baggysplash. As I recall, I won the eternal affections of milady Big Bird last year, fair and square, in spite of your dastardly dealings with the judges. As such, she is not now to be considered spoils of war. The fight is for R&WW's hand. If, as a lowly second, you find that displeasing, I suggest you find another cause.

So there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:03 AM

Tashyrag - While I enjoy the affections of a lady who hails from the fair county of Essex, my own county happens to be Kent - the garden of England.

Lady Rabbit - if you keep missing that varlet Raggytash, I have some advice for you.

1. Make sure that you have a firm well-locked posture.
2. Breath out and hold it.
3. Take good aim.
4. S-Q-U-E-E-Z-E the trigger.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:13 AM

Davy half a match company, Kent is it, sure you can spell, a sheath for a dagger perchance

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:27 AM

I object to the "half a match company" quip - my mother's maiden name was "Mayes" (OK there's an extra e) - I reckon I'll be more than a match for you in this duel !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Roger Waters
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:41 AM

I hope you all realise that if you sung a parody, or different words, to my melody Another Brick in the Wall, you must pay me royalties! I will, in fact, pursue this as my name is Waters, not McLean, or even Campbell.

I hope that leaves you uncomfortably numb, James.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 02:55 PM

Raggy if I tried really hard from here I'm sure I would miss you my love

Deanmeister you miss the point another year has past any you only won the hand of the lady Big Bird for a year and a day - sorry she's fare game as spoils of war this year


Jim - if you are acting as RW dont forget to reset your cookie again you sado masi-whatsit or else they cant PM you! If it wasnt you Jim not - Waters do you have a spare copy of final cut going? could prove useful during the duel!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Roger Waters
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 03:12 AM

Sorry, love, Margaret Thatcher bought the last one.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:36 AM

That Kampervan, (sounds German to me) is nought but a blackguard, bootlegger, caitiff and drunkard, he will deserve nor will he receive any mercy when he faces the wrath of my leige MC Fat and my good self.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:56 AM

Arsytag...
words fail me - you really are the most antagonistic reprehensible character. I am launching a mission to free the poor underserving women you hold captive in your harem - watch out!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 05:55 AM

Bogbrush, I think you will find it difficult to convince them to leave, they all appreciate my chivalrous and gentle manners, to gether with other advantages.
If you should wish to free yourself from Dumbmastard it is not too late to align yourself with the vertiable ladies of my acquaintance

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:40 AM

I might be seconding the noble knight KAMPERVAN, but I'm sure he wouldn't expect me to engage in the sycophantic, brown-tongued, protestations of loyalty that McFat's second seems to find necessary. I'd be surprised if any lady but a stern dominatrix would accept such a crawler - and she'd probably want payment.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:58 AM

Not unsurprisingly the ways of chivalry are unknown to you, it is a two way code that benefits both parties equally, one is neither senior or subservient to the other it relies on mutual respect. If we allow you to survive the duel I may be generous enough to explain the finer points to you and the oaf you yourself have agreed to second.

On the other hand I might have a quite word with your corpse

Looking forward to the duel quite a lot now

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:17 AM

He couldn't pay me enough!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:30 AM

Told you she loved me   :o)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 11:18 AM

I can well understand your repugnance, Big Bird.

In a recent TV series, Terry Jones exposed the myth of the Knight's code of chivalry as merely a form of self advancement, oportunism, and brutality. After viewing (and photographing) the last leg of the duel between McFat (and the toadying Taggyrash - who I'm sure would stab his principal in the back at any time if he saw profit in it) I find I must agree with him. KAMPERVAN and I will therefore try and raise the coming duel to a higher ethical plane.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 11:23 AM

Ethics !! from a part time Cockney that's rich !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 11:43 AM

An ethical plane to you southern gits is flying from Heathrow by Virgin Airways instead of Luton by EasyJet

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 02:08 PM

ooooooo!!

Big Bird - step daughter to be - I am not sure you could get the women to leave Raggy's harem - we are talking 'uddersfield women!! unless he has a few stashed away from other parts or is that other parts stashed away?
Deanmeisterseems to think you are his - is it to be a joint wedding?

Kampervan my love how art though? hast though decided on songs to slay them all?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 02:09 PM

that should have said 'hast thou'

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:04 PM

As I relax here in my eerie, hawk-like, gazing down on the antics of Mcflat and untrimmedtash bickering away trying to bolster their sad little(?) egos with this sad war of words, I find it all so ....sad, so melancholy. I feel so sorry, knowing the fate that awaits them. Humiliation for the combatant and disgrace by association for the sad second who is, so easily, being led astray.

Cease thy pointless banter you losers, lets get down to the nitty-gritty rules of engagement; sharpen those clefs, drag up the diminished seconds (that's raggytash for the uninitiated) and polish up the resonance balancing using non-nasal consonants.
Let slip the dogs of war and cry God for KV&DB + R&WR and to hell with the French-loving jock.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:36 PM

MC Fat, I think we have the fools beaten already, they think there are rules ...............poor simple things

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 01:41 AM

Raggy there are rules - song slayers of old have combatted by said rules of engagement

rule one - song slayers must be over the age of 30
rule two - have impoased song slaying on unsuspecting people of the world
rule three be prepared to do anything to avhieve victory

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:32 AM

Slay bell ring are you listening.....

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:33 AM

Sorry that should have read....
Slay bells ring are you listening

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 05:58 AM

Rule 1 - I definitely pass that requirement by nearly a factor of 2.
Rule 2 - No problem - I have slain audiences in many parts of the world for over 40 years.
Rule 3 - A complete rout of Mcfat (and his organgrinder's monkey) is the only outcome that I will consider.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Mar 04 - 12:43 PM

So MC, after banjos, its now bells. Do you prefer the hand jobs or the ones where you pull the string?
I suppose either is appropriate. This is jsut so 'big girls blouse'.

Am I missing something? Should I be afraid???? I don't think so.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:17 AM

Be very very afraid

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:34 AM

My Leige, I consider the fact that he has to ask the question is sufficient indication he is having second thought about the Wisdom of challenging your good self. He will be aware of the ignominous defeats suffered by Deanmeister and Old Git and has now had the opportunity to ponder his future and the apparent brevity of it. You could be magnanimous and allow him the cede to your domination with the forfiture of Danegeld in the form of copious liquid refreshment. May I suggest you put this to him before he stains the carpet

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:40 AM

The only thing that will stain the carpet will the blood of that craven plucker MCFAT.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:45 AM

I think that in McFat's case, the "Bells" probably comes out of a bottle !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 06:07 AM

"Ignominious defeat...????" Were you at the aforementioned duel? That's certainly not how I recall the chain of events. Baggysplash was no match for my sturdy second, Sir Waistline. Fear not, KV, you will triumph, of that I am certain.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 06:50 AM

Where was I, you sorry little toenail clipping. I was in the vanguard of the troops that routed you, I was also bribing the judges with chocolate, the same chocolate that you subsequently purloined from the fair Noreen and scoffed yourself. Not, I think, the conduct of a gentleman.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 07:10 AM

Forgot about the chocolate nabbing !!! I mean we did ask Noreen to wear the fetching low cut number just for't lads

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 07:19 AM

Aye ...... it were grand

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 07:20 AM

Or, to quote me Grandad "Ay up, sithee, all that meat an' no gravy"

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 10:56 AM

Noreen tried to charge me for taking those piccies of her at Whitby !
You should see this new Mudcat Female "Avril Betts" she makes Noreen look positively flat-chested - mind you she can't sing to save her life - unlike Noreen.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 02:27 PM

So Mr Bryant, oh most gallant and honorable second, my very close connection with a certain brewery, not to mention access to large quantities of VERY CHEAP beer, might just help in ensuring that the judges come to a fair and equitable decision in our favour EH?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 03:16 AM

Can I be the judge....? ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:00 AM

Kampervan - I am impressed with the sublety of your plans. Might I also suggest that to show some consideration for those who we will be vanquishing that we supply them with a very special supply of liquor as well (if you catch my drift).

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:14 AM

Vanquish, vanquish vanquish my arse !!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 05:18 AM

Well it would certainly be one way for you to lose a lot of ugly flesh - and the source of noxious emissions Jim.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 05:48 AM

Children, please!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:16 AM

Oi Deano      You want to volunteer to be a judge, you cannot then complain about the content. As a judge you are required to be neutral so butt out of the argument.

PS As MC Fat and I were victorious in the Rout at the Sun, Beverley last yead we question the possibility of your remaining neutral in subsequent duel and will therefore appeal to the judicial council (who appoint judges) that in this instance you not be considered as a suitable candidate for this important bout. Please don't take this personally, we are not making any aspersions that you might feel inclined to favour the challengers.

'onest injun !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:19 AM

All rise !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 07:15 AM

I only do that for ladies

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 09:04 AM

I gave that up for Lent.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 09:47 AM

So Deanie ...... you've finally come out, so who's Len T then, is he anything like Mr T

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:06 AM

Fool.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:09 AM

You calling my mate a fool then eh ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:14 AM

I am sure that The Deanmeister will be perfectly impartial - especially after he's had a few of Kampervan's free pints.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:18 AM

Kampervan has an unfair advantage apart vfrom having a bootifull daughter Mrs Kampervan the First works for Sheppard Neame Brewery so he gets the stuff you know nudge nudge knocked off fallen off the back of a dray.....

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:35 AM

And your problem is?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:36 AM

Deanie baby, no need to be shy now, you've passed the first hurdle, it doesn't carry the same social stigma it did in the days of yore. Well done, you should be very pleased, you will find most people are prepared to accept your new indentity and those that don't are not worth bothering with. As for us proper men, it's just one less in competition.

Cheers

Mine's a pint

Raggy

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 10:49 AM

Hey, I'll have a Babycham. And I'll deal with you later, Bottyblast.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: el ted
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 11:00 AM

Post no 100, thanks chaps, carry on.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 11:27 AM

I didn't realise that it was Sheps that fine fluid from Faversham that we were talking about. Supply enough Masterbrew and we could probably get all of Hartley Morris as judges !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 01:24 PM

Give them Southern jessies some proper northern bitter, two sniffs of the barmaids apron they'll be on the floor. We Northern men (well Deano excluded) are made of sterner stuff

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM

Blimey - I was only away a couple of days! What are you lot like?!?!
Deano's come out; Raggytash is still trying to make out he's a real man, and a hit with the ladies (will somebody have a quiet word); someones' done away with RWR; Dad's turned to bribery and corruption (hoorah!)
You're all mad!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:26 PM

Raggytash, you're all southerners to us north of Berwick.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:26 PM

North of Berwick ........... Hmmmmmmmm You're all celts up there ........ is that the correct spelling ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:42 AM

I have only been away a couple of days and the duel has heated up enough to replace the nuclear power industry!

Hi Big Bird - missed you too

DeanMeister whats this about you coming out?

Whats more important is that I have just learnt that my beloved future husaband has a wife already who works for a brewery - how can a girl compete with that? Might have to change allegiance but who will make husband number four now?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 02:58 AM

Deanmeister! This is your chance to reconvert him!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 03:37 AM

Help me out here, Bootiful Bird? Just because I refuse to be drawn into cheap innuendo, I'm apparently gay now! How did that happen?

Anyway, I don't fancy chaps with facial hair. Just in case Floppytosh thought he was in with a chance. I swore my undying love for the Faversham Filly last year, and not even he can take me away from you!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 04:12 AM

Limp wristed Deano eh dancing at the wrong side of the ballroom. We can put out the knowledge even if it is false....

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 06:29 AM

yuk -
limp wrists!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 07:16 AM

I thought he was your husband to be Big Bird, this must come as a shock and a terrible disappointment for you, if I could offer solcae my dear ...............

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 09:40 AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!!!!!

This calls for immediate action! Right, I forthwith, hitherto, and with immediate effect, propose the motion to discuss the prevention of the Raggytash, without prejudice, to be denied access, ergo, to a geographical zone consisting 100 miles radius.... oh, pooh, where was I? Oh yeah. All those in favour, say aye.

Whatever happened to the People's Front of Judea?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 11:08 AM

Perhaps we should send Avril Betts up to Raggytash - I'm sure she'd settle his hash - a few bacardis and he'd have to fight her off - then he'd get thumped by Wombat as well.

Deano - don't give a damn about what McFatMcDonald says - he's admitted to being a Banjo Player - and I bet he doesn't care if the banjo is male or female !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 11:10 AM

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! Thanks, Avril.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:10 PM

limp wrists, flase accusations, threats and betrayal its got all the features of a soap this thread ( or should that be soap on a rope?)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:33 AM

I like that Dove, me. It's gentle on my sensitive skin. I mean, a boy's got to be careful if he wants to preserve his beauty.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:51 AM

Why woz he born so beautifool !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:59 AM

Oh Deanie, so good to hear from you. I was told you were unwell, I think that's what they meant when they said you were feeling a little queer

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 02:25 PM

Why woz he born at all!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:47 PM

I hope its not Dove sensitive - otherwise we could be in for a real slanging match!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 04:05 AM

Sensitive is the ne limp wristed

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM

Listen, sweetie-pie, you're only jealous of my delicate touch on the guitar ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 10:34 AM

I can usually cure limp parts on most men.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 01:13 PM

how - i could do with some ideas

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 05:46 AM

Saggytrash was once again defeated by a single blow at the Monks Walk session yesterday. You were on my turf, boyo. Veni, vidi, vici.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:03 AM

I have witnesses who will verify that once De-mister realised one of MC's team was on the premises he fled, defeated indeed, tish and nonsense

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:25 AM

I had to go and get tooled up for mine and Sir Roger's devastating display of musical virtuosity at the Sun Inn last night, Nick. I note that you daren't even poke your head through the door. The Strat was unleashed at last on the unsuspecting people of Beverley! Had a really nice night, actually.

Was good to see you though, you handsome devil, you xx

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:52 AM

Peter,
Glad it went well for you and Roger, couldn't stay any later as our American friend was a little shell shocked at 3 days of partying after a 16 hour flight from San Fransico.

Just one little thing Peter, please don't put kisses on your threads to me, I know you mean well but with your reputation people may get the wrong idea about me too !!

Cheers ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:53 AM

Rabbit - when Avril's around, they're all too tensed up looking for a possible means of escape to be limp ! Pehaps Avril would be suitable wench for Raggyarse's harem - with the large economy size he wouldn't need to bother about the smaller offers.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

What, with Phatboy coming out, and myself being finally exposed, I thought you might feel a little more comfortable about revealing your preferences, Bottyblast.

Don't be shy. It's ok in this day and age.

Do you prefer Italian or Chinese?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 11:12 AM

Can we change this subject and get back to the duel. I find thoughts of Raggybum having sexual congress with (or wet dreams about) any mammal - of either sex, very disturbing.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 01:15 PM

Oi Deanmeister is it any coincidence that your name is an anagram of driest enema ? ............. Ooooooooooooh !!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 01:48 PM

or yours is an anagram of gag trashy?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 02:57 PM

Rich indeed coming from " a whetted birdbrain"

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 04:29 AM

Very dangerous anagram Sir Rag

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:00 AM

What news of KV's campaign?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:04 AM

Oh - at last you two have stopped your lover's tiff thread-creep and are getting back to the main issue.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:49 AM

Me thinks Deanmiester old chap that Kampervan has reconsidered his suicidal bid to challenge my Noble Leige, MC Fat, and has taken the cowardly way to distance himself from the inevitable and ignominious defeat by remaining silent in the hope we will forgive his audacity and forget his mendacity.

Did you know you name is a anagram of ememas tried? coincidence perchance

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:18 AM

Arty Shagg, I have less of your lip.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:19 AM

I am sure that Kampervan has not decided to turn his back on the coming fray. He was probably appalled and disgusted by the discourse between yourself and Deanmeister, which was of the level one would expect from two pupils at a girls preparatory school haranguing each other from adjacent lavatory cubicles.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:36 AM

Hark !

This is rich indeed coming from the Alta ego of the infamous Avril Betes, reknown man eater with a bosom of such proportions that it could only have been dreamt up by a fink and a chalatan such as this "man" is.

Mr Byrant you are nought but a blackguard, brute, heel, knave and evildoer. I look forward with relish to our forthcoming battle, if your faint-of-heart, chicken livered protagonist co-dueller ever raises his craven head again.

Lord Bulstrode de Wraggetache

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:12 AM

Does "Alta Ego" mean the same as mistress - because if so it's not true. I know that he does really fancy me (most men do), but Linda won't let me get near to him.

It's funny, but Dave Bryant warned me about you when I joined Mudcat.
Is it alright if I call you Nicolas ? - it sounds a nice name. Do you play guitar ? because I'm looking for a nice young man who could accompany me for all sorts of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:49 AM

Avril, Nicholas doesn't so much play it as wring it's neck.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

Please dont encourage the noble Sir Raggy - people are bound to make comments about his guitar playing so I wont but you may find you have bitten off more than you can chew if you encourage him

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:54 AM

Beat you to it, R&WR!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 12:05 PM

Oh but I'd never dream of biting anything off or chewing it. I'd be very gentle. My grandma came from France, the same as my name, so I like french things, you know - wine and letters from my relatives over there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 02:41 PM

Aw shucks Pete

Avril - you'd go very well with the good lord Raggy whose encampment at festivals tends to be stocked full of wine and pate - as for French letters - well you'd better ask him!

Trash Gay G - sorry Raggy my dear if you are nice to me I shall tell you how much I raised on Sunday for that life boat you try to keep afloat by singing my song!!


Kampervan where art thou?

McFat - you arent making much of a job of fighting for me - looks like you're going to let Kampervan take me without so much as a murmur - is that all this last months have meant to you? After all I have done - Avril perhaps you can take over from me - the good Lord McFat has a knack of finding 'the spot'!( usually one a cow has left but he still comes up smelling of roses - or should that be lavender?)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM

Peekaboo, here I am.

Thanks to my most gallant, honourable and courageous second, the Great Lord Bryant, for dealing in such a commanding and decisive way with the pathetic best that our opponents could muster.

Sorry to been a little remote o deliciously delectable R&WR.

I've been away, meditating on the course of things to come.

The responsibility of wreaking such a horrible veangance on a man whom once I thought my friend does not sit lightly on my shoulders. I have been seeking counsel from the wise ones; working with them to ensure that the end of McFat is humbling but not humiliating.

I have no wish to destroy his childlike illusory world but he must be made aware of reality.

How can he believe that he is a LORD? He was born, has lived and will have to continue to live, as a villein. This he must know.

The great ones are with us. We can only succeed. En avant, mes enfants!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 07:44 PM

Petit Blanc et Rouge Lapin,

I could be VERY nice to you if only you wished, the Avril Betes (her French asperations are dubious) of this mortal coil are nought to your wonderful charms, she is liken to a female Monsieur D Bryant, may God perserve us.

The pusillanimous, timorous, runaway who would seek to be your betrothed is fearful, hesitant and is suffering from shaking and trembling, palpitations, jitters and the creeps at the thought of facing my wrath.

Kampervan I personally challange you to a duel, in the highly unlikely event of you being triumphant over my Noble Lord MC Fat, I remain as always a trusty and loyal second to me Noble Lord

Lord Bulstrode Wraggetache of Colne

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:05 AM

Furthermore, what sort of ponce uses "peekaboo" to open his posting, if he considers the duel to be a childrens game then our victory will be both glorious and simple

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:35 AM

Ponce, ponce, ponce sacre beaujolais et bon appetite. Mais je ne understand que Kampervan mince about. Le victoraie c'est ours !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:38 AM

Sorry just had a bas attack of franglais. R & WR (sounds like a pre nationalised railway company) I will fight to the very second to win your heart, soul and money. Kampervan hath no chance he is beaten before he starts. He could not even beat an egg.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 05:30 AM

if he considers the duel to be a childrens game then our victory will be both glorious and simple

At your the Whitby leg of your previous duel, you produced a mascot. Was it a ferocious Lion or a fire-breathing dragon that would strike terror into the hearts of your opponents ? No it was a diminutive bear from an entertainment for children - called "Sooty".

Mind you, obviously Essex Girl on the left and Noreen on the right, find the bear more appealing than McFat !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 05:48 AM

I have a new but even more deadlierer puppet as well as trusty Sooty I have now an even more frighteninging sheep glove puppet called Shagger. I mean you'll be very very afraid when you see me with my hand up a sheep's arse !!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 05:54 AM

Ha ! The fool thought it was a childs toy, unbeknown the the ne'er do well, reprobate it concealed a vast array of deadly weapons (the Trojans fell for a similar ruse).
If the enfant terrible survives long enough he may learn to give seemingly innocent objects greater respect

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 05:58 AM

That'll make a change Jim - only your hand up a sheep's rear end - do you find that they prefer a bit of foreplay first, or are you having problems finding the other bit of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 06:25 AM

Nah the foreplay consists of 'Here Sheepy, Sheepy'

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 06:34 AM

Yes draggybash, but the Trojan Horse was big enough for soldiers to hide inside - what could you have concealed in Sootie - Ninja Stag Beetles ? And what the hell is McFat going to hide up a sheep's arsehole ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 06:46 AM

Best keep his sex life out of this

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 06:57 AM

I'm sure the R.S.P.C.A. would agree with that.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 11:39 AM

Just to be serious for a sec, I'm trying to obtain some old tracks for a current music project. Where do you recommend on the www to download music? Struggling to find some of them. Is anybody current on this sort of thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 12:14 PM

Why not start a (non-BS) thread Deaney - you'll get a wider audience.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 03:57 PM

I'm not sure that a sheep worrier (and I'm sure they are worried by the sight McFatboy's armoured fist approaching their rectal extremities), is a suitable opponent for a noble knight such as myself.

However in keeping with today's unfortunate tendency towards egalitarianism I'm sure that any reluctance to soil my hands on his unworthy gizzard would be construed as cowardice by his saddo second.

So, in response to the pathetic challenge from sheepshaggytash for me to meet him face-to-face after I've conquered Mc, I'll just say Why wait?
I'll take you both on at the same time. No holds barred.

Anyone who thinks that the greeks used a glove puupet to take Troy needs to be put out of their misery very quickly.

Come on down you losers.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 03:17 AM

well well, things change rapidly when you are away from your computer for a day dont they?

This news about ovine rumpy pumpy is news indeed to moi - my honour has been soiled by this brigand - will no one whisk me away from him?

Raggy - as you were being very nice - you know what happens when you talk french to me - the sum raised for your boat was £21 - not bad with one song and me singing it eh?

Deanmiester you could always try Kazaa - thats a shared P2P link and you can get quite a lot of stuff on there

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 04:40 AM

Thanks, R&WR, that's the one I ended up using. Found everything I needed on there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM

what's all this then ? technical advice on a 'duel' thread. The only technical advice that Kampervan needs to know is that I cook a mean breakfast (isn't that right R & WR ?) and that southern wimps like what he is will probably not be able to find the frying pan cos it will need to be grilled and organic and healthy wimpy crap like that where as us northern lads thrive on LARD !!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Apr 04 - 07:11 AM

Well if there's a food shortage up north - there's probably enough lard on you to feed Sheffield for a week, Jim.

BTW - when I was at Miskin over the weekend, I passed your name on to a couple of sheep who might be contacting you.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM

It would take a while for me to waste away

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 14 Apr 04 - 12:27 PM

Pleasure Mr DeanMeister - have to help out future son in laws all I can!

breakfast - well cremated offerings are all I can remember but then word has it that I was suffering Hilsboro Hexcess

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 04:17 AM

Haich Pee Hay Excess (and some Phoenix and some Kinder)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 15 Apr 04 - 04:18 AM

well it wasnt kinder to me !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:02 AM

Are all these northerners whingeing coz they can't take their booze ? Good job that you lot weren't around at Miskin on Sunday night when we had the task of making sure that all the remaining barrels of ale got consumed. We had no trouble getting through 2,232 pints of assorted good ales and 160 pints of Draught Cider - and it wasn't that weak gassy stuff with 25% of head that you folks up north call beer.

Kampervan - If we bring up some of Mr Neames Finest Faversham ale - we could probably win the duel by a walk-over.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:12 AM

Now that's fighting dirty. Kampervan has an advantage first Mrs Kampervan the First works for Mr Neame and Co. and lots of their falling over water comes north to Beverley. Second Kampervan is aware that the only berr to 'lay me low' and have such a massive hangover that I stayed off work for two days was whenst I was imbibing 'Spitfire'. Mind you I did have about eleventeen pints.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:33 AM

Mr Try Ban - The reason for the difficulties with the weekend's beer had nothing to do with being a Northerner - my parents would hate you for that since I am from Suffolk originally! I know that to you anything above London is North but they were from Dagenham and Bethnal Green so they like to keep Suffolk as South rather than allowing me to link myself to the North.

The reason for my difficulties following the Hilsboro my dear Barty Dean was I have touched alcohol since New Year and three dry months took their toll!!

Anyone wishing to donate to the rehabilitiation of a red and white rabbit can of course send beer vouchers to me and I will ensure that once the festival season is here I will make sure R&R takes that medicine like the good girl she is!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 09:44 AM

I have touched alcohol since New Year

Good God Rabbit, don't you northerners know that you're supposed to drink the stuff, not just touch it !

There I beheld a most beautiful maiden, lamenting for her Shepherd Neame - there you are, the fine ale of Faversham is respected as far north as Holmfirth.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:30 AM

I have got to start reading what I write!!

Okay 'I havent touched ' it honest me lord

and there you go again calling me a northerner _ I could get quite upset!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:41 AM

If you put Raggytash into Google you learn he is really called Katie and likes 'Friends' and 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' he posts to the Horneyt Owners Club and checkout his picture on the Sunday Soccer Predictions - I cant do blue clicky things!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:44 AM

And check out the picture of Deanmeister on his nickpage!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

I always suspected this. Begone, Baggysplash. We have no need of your kind on this forum.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 10:51 AM

http://deanmeister.uboot.com/

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:03 AM

How the hell do you come up with this stuff, babe? Top marks.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:04 AM

And Dave Bryant is a closet Jazz player
http://www.accuraterecords.com/bryant.html

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:09 AM

Yeah, but he's on our side, so it'ok. We won't tell anybody...

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM

I prefer Jazz to the blinking Banjo....!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Not there for the orientation...
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:38 PM

So is this exchange the actual duel itsel? And if so, how do we know who wins? Or is it another time and place? And if so, when and where? And just WHAT is the duel? (Don't mean to poop on anyones's fun; I just plain don't understand.) Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:00 PM

R&WR
I stand speechless, transfixed and even more deeply in awe of you and the pearls which emanate from your wondrous mind.

Add that to your mega breakfasts of sausage, bacon, tomato, egg, black pudding, toast, butter and hot strong tea .... well who could not fall at thy feet and worship.

And that, O guest from the Orient,is why I will shortly stand before a panel of independent judges, (all carefully dosed up with lots of independently brewed beer which I shall supply), and beat the McDonald (aka MCFAT) into a hocked cat.

Don't worry 'Guest NTFTO' nobody else knows what the hells going to happen, or where, or how.
BUT we know why.

It's for the love of a fabulous lady known only as R&WR. A mythical Mrs who can bring such joy and pleasure to a man's life that you could not imagine.

Here's to us R&WR

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 03:14 PM

Hello o guest NTFTO

the duel is not fought on line but it is this year to be fought at Beverley Folk Festival in the UK. The format last year was I believe with old git each contender to sing a Shanty then a song from Burns and then a song of their own choice - the seconds also had to sing a song. Voting was by the gathered audience and the judges could be bribed to alter decision for chocolate or by singing their favourite songs etc. Each round was scored and the winner was declared based on the highest number of points - or in the event of a tie on the least cheating!!

DeaMeister v MCFAT chose love songs and Bruns for their specialist rounds when they fought for the love of Kampervans daughter Big Bird but Sooty, a waterpistol and chocolate led to MCfat being disqualified and Deanmeister claiming to win - or was it that he threatened to throw himself off the Humber bridge if Mcfat touched Big Bird - basically we are all completely mad and have a great time with songs and sculdugery and this thread is the build up to the event
Noreen are you being a judge again? Low cut top and chocolate?

well he/she did ask!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:33 AM

....a handbag...a handbag...pass me a handbag at dawn trusty Raggy. We will crush on these pesky varmits.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:48 AM

Can we have the duel at Moor & Coast as I have commitments that will not allow me to attend Beverley, besides which Moor and Coast is sooner and I want to taste Clowningmans blood

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 06:58 AM

Ah you see Kampervan being the wet southern softie what he is has never been to Moor & Coast. He has threatened to and may make an appearance but Beverley is usually where him and the delectable Big Bird (aka known as Vicky) go. You know me though Raggy a Duel is a Duel and to hardened pro's like what we are the Moor the merrier.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:33 AM

Kampervan has gone strangly quiet methinks Lod Ragtash that we have frit him !!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:47 AM

Why don't you wimps come down south, then - frit ? - or is the ale too strong ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:51 AM

Won't get past border control

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 05:47 AM

I'm sure that they'll widen the gate so that you could sqeeze through.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 05:56 AM

Ale too strong ! Gnats piss me thinks, after 2 years in Oxford where I signally failured to get pissed on the local brews, Morrels, Moorlands and God forbid Halls Harvest,(This despite many concerted efforts) I had to return North in order to drink some decent beer. Even the landlord in one pub I frequented (Black Boy at Headington)referred to his bitter as a "pint of flat"

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 06:09 AM

Boys Bitter more like !! I too did missionary work in the South. Buckinghamshire where Ind Coope or Aylesbury Bitter was as weak as Kthe Deimeister's limp wrist. Bedfordshire at least had Green King which was passable.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:31 AM

Try Fuller's ESB or the fiendish brew that Harvey's bring out at Christmas. Young's special isn't to be taken lightly either - try it half and Half with Winter Warmer !

Incidently "Greene King" comes from Suffolk, Charlie Wells is Bedford's home brewery - Bombardier (named after "Bombardier" Billy Wells, the boxing champ who hits the gong before Rank films) is quite capable of putting people on the floor too.

Perhaps we should insist on one "Home" and one "Away" bout.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 10:30 AM

You can discuss my limp wrist all you like in June, when I shall be staying in a five star hotel in Monte Carlo, thinking about you not one little bit. So there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 10:50 AM

Can't you try a handcream with Viagra in it ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM

Bless. I don't need it, Dave love. It comes naturally to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:52 PM

What comes naturally limp wrists or not thinking one little bit?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 02:55 PM

What a pair of sad stereotypical northern meatheads.

Mcfattytash, might as well roll them together cos they both make the same inane noises.

"My beer's stronger than your beer"
"My head's thicker than your head"

Given that I was born a Midlander, I can see why I've been drawn to the civilised south.

Why not give yourselves a treat and get down to Kent, the land where hops are grown and the brewers know how to use them.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:13 AM

Shall I 'hop' down with R & W Rabbitt

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:13 AM

They might find the culture shock to much for them, Kampervan. Perhaps if we found some pigeons and whippets, put up outside privies, and put coal in the bath, they'd feel more at home. We could all dress up in cloth caps and mufflers as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:35 AM

Where will I put me Lamborghini ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:10 AM

In the 'porche'

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 07:15 AM

Brands Hatch circuit ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:10 PM

Must be a teeny-weeny lambo-geeny to fit into a porsche!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:18 AM

I thought Lamborghini went in the oven and you put cheese on top!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:19 AM

BTW MCFAT if you check out your mail box you will see that I have met my challenge - writing a song about Clem Beckett - no wonder they called him the outlawed rider!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 04:17 AM

Can I have some parmesan on my lamb borginni ? p.s. you forgot to attach the song !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:39 AM

No I didnt
- well not the second time

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 02:45 PM

Only a heathen like McFat would remove a lamb's borginnis.
It's cruel and it makes them put on weight.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:59 AM

stops them reproducing as well!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:47 AM

so does daddy lamb borginnii do rude things to mummy lamb borginii ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:56 AM

I fear my Leige that there has been some drifting on this thread, bring on that mountebank miscreant Klumperbum, the monstrous scoundrel deserves a sound beating and I, my leige, am more than happy to oblige.
He is nought but a mischief making, lowlife. A fraud, a heel, a gyp and a knavish hooligan let us concentrate on his forthcoming downfall and prepare for the merriment we will enjoy in his defeat.


Rabbit prepare thyself wench

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:59 AM

By George, that feels good.

We don't want to fight but by Jingo if we do,
we've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too, we've fought the Klump before, and while we're Britons too,
the Oaf shall not ever win the Rabbit

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 06:19 AM

They do not want to fight there afrit of us you know,
Thery're full shit and piss and wind
and bloody southerners too......

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 04:31 AM

Hmm - I think this is getting a little base!!

I am prepared Lord Raggy - though the thought of having to break in another new man if Kamper should prove victorious is worrying

( Raggy do you remember our night together when the moon shone and the wine flowed.......)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 04:53 AM

Ain't no-one broken me yet honey, an' I don't see neither of those losers even getting close.
But you, well we can have fun while you try.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:40 AM

...base ? Touching Base ??

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:20 AM

I don't know - Rabbit could break me in any time she wants.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:25 PM

Hmmm!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM

Hmmm!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 06:21 AM

Well, at least she seems to be thinking about it !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 06:30 AM

Hope you're NOT thinking about it Rabbit. you have to be won, a fair maiden cannot go flaunting herself like a coomon tart at these ragamuffins, they are Oiks my dear lady, do not lower yourself to their gutter level squalidness

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 09:44 AM

I was merely commenting on a remark that originated with Lapin Rouge et Blanc.

And Raggy - does the fair Lady Wombat know about this night "when the moon shone and the wine flowed" ?.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 10:38 AM

Does Essex Girl require a PM saying you're trying to get inside Rabbits drawers

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 11:33 AM

Essex Girls are very understanding in these matters - it probably dates back to the times when they were subjected to the Viking raids.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 12:06 PM

She probably realsies that I am of Viking descent, a male line that has survived over 1000 years

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 04:30 PM

So that's why you look so thin, washed out and ragydraggled.
Couldn't raise a smile if hell had you.

AND IT DOES

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 05:09 AM

a male line that has survived over 1000 years

Everything has to come to an end sometime.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 05:12 AM

Not yet awhile, I am fortunate that the next generation is young fit and healthy (thats just me) and then there's my son.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:08 AM

Surely it must get boring for a viking up there in the north of England these days. Have you thought of going off somewhere exciting to pillage and plunder, such as Iraq, Afganistan, Chechnya - or anywhere ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:29 AM

Faversham?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 07:44 AM

Mr Bryant. Your comments I note, would direct me to area's that are predominatantly Muslim and therefore the access to alcohol will be limited if not illegal. I have no wish to upset people's religious convictions by taking alcohol with me and thus these states are outside my remit for conflict. However places North, South, East or West in the UK providing they are within walking distance of a public house or at least a premises with a licence to retail alcohol are within my compass. I await your arrival (with your poltroon of a first, or is it second now .... he seems to be cooling to the idea of battle) at Whitby

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

You mean that you aren't able to Pillage or Plunder unless you're pissed ? - I assume the same thing goes as far as duelling is concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 12:45 PM

Rabbit, you have to be won

That remark sounds as though you class her with the goldfishes in platic bags that you see on stalls at the fair.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 02:04 AM

okay - so now i wait for remarks about me opening and shutting my mouth

actuaaly mr bryant the fair lady wombat was there and she and i ended the evening with a girlie stroll in the moonlight!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 10 May 04 - 03:50 PM

OKAY

thats it - a weekend at Holmfirth and I have had it with that MCFAT - criticising my breakfasts after me putting up with him as a band!!

Kampervan take me away from it all!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 11 May 04 - 10:50 AM

Sausages were burnt on the outside (as I like them0 but naked pink on't inside and there were no Turkey

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 May 04 - 11:57 AM

KAMPERVAN - how can you ignore a plea like that from a fair lady ? If I wasn't so busy trying to brew the beer and help sort out the garden in time for my BBQ on the 6th June (to celebrate my reaching an age of distinction 9 days later) I'd offer to stand in for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 11 May 04 - 02:31 PM

even when fully cooked the sausages were pink on the inside - stop trying to hide as a guest MCFAT!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 May 04 - 04:40 AM

Wasn't hiding someon's ate my cookie

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 12 May 04 - 07:03 AM

What sort of Shite in Knighting Armour tells a prospective paramour that he is too busy to defend her honour because he is getting the garden ready for a forthcoming barbeque ........... What a wimp !

When I am free my dear Lady I will show you how a true Knight would act, all night, every night till you are sated

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 May 04 - 08:08 AM

Shouldn't that be sauted or even casserrolled

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 12 May 04 - 10:06 AM

I was would fain wait for my liege KAMPERVAN to answer the lady's plea first. Perhaps we should steal the fair lady from the barbaric north and bring her to the southern realms (where dragons have all been irradicated) in time for said barbecue.

"When I am free my dear Lady I will show you how a true Knight would act, all night, every night till you are sated."

Free of what, Raggybash ? - other commitments ? or do you mean, when the fair Lady Wombat is not around ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 12 May 04 - 10:31 AM

The fair Lady Rabbit will comprehend only too well.

You Sire have no need to be party to this matter, except as a dishevelled corpse on bar room floor at some point in the future, when Klumperbun can pull his trousers up for long enough to face MC Fat. I suppose someone could buy him some bicycle clips

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 12 May 04 - 11:35 AM

"The fair Lady Rabbit will comprehend only too well."

Sound's more like a threat than a promise - I expect that the fair Lady Rabbit will have to wait for the nausea to die down before she will be able to reply.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 12 May 04 - 02:20 PM

gentlemen gentlemen.....

Raggy do you go to Pauls folk club in Lockwood - where is the shoulder of Mutton?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 12 May 04 - 02:33 PM

Just been the once, last week, great night, next one on the 19th, it's only been going for 3 sessions so far, see shoulder of mutton thread

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 13 May 04 - 04:15 AM

Save a Shoulder of Mutton for me, nicely roasted with the fat of kampervan