Folklore: Cursing Thread

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: dianavan
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 01:50 PM

Chief Chaos - My mother used to say that too!

The worst curse of all. It used to end every argument and I would shiver!

I hope you have a daughter just like yourself!

My daughter was much more civil. Her saving grace was that she could never have been as "bad" as me.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:03 PM

May your tongue rot with a stench so foul that maggots gag and cats scream.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE CURSE (J. M. Synge)
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:12 PM

The Curse
To a sister of an enemy of the author's who disapproved of `The Playboy'

Lord, confound this surly sister,
Blight her brow with blotch and blister,
Cramp her larynx, lung, and liver,
In her guts a galling give her.
Let her live to earn her dinners
In Mountjoy with seedy sinners:
Lord, this judgment quickly bring,
And I'm your servant, J. M. Synge.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 08:45 AM

Little Hawk-
The folk tradition doesn't extend to copyrighting bad rewrites. And I suspect that Anka/Carter duets would be a considerable improvement.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 05:24 PM

May your boogers adhere to the walls of your nostrils as if attached by Superglue.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 06:23 PM

Talk to his management team and publishing house, Dick. Maybe you can get something done about it. Albert Grossman is no longer in reach, however.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:06 PM

May you marry Clinton Hammond and live in Windsor, Ontario, Canada FOREVER!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:17 PM

May your next crap be a hedgehog backwards, and may your haemorrhoid cream be laced with pepper.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:10 PM

May you never know a moment's good health until you, scum covered and filty, your body alive with lice, your sores crawling with maggots and the flesh you have left melting from the attacks of flesh-eating bacteria, your eyes and every other orifice of your body dripping blood from Ebola infection, your finger and toe nails grown through your hands and feet, your privy organs rotten with Black Syph and exuding malignant and malodorous pus, your tongue swollen eight times bigger than your mouth, blackflies feasting upon your eyeballs and mosquitoes never giving you a moment's rest, come crawling upon your slime trail to beg my forgiveness.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: 42
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 01:37 AM

"May you be caught in a tornado with Raptor and Little Hawk... watching Trailer Park Boys reruns."

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 01:53 AM

May your pubic hairs turn into baseball bats and beat the bollocks off you.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Mickey191
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 03:30 AM

This is from our dear old friend Catspaw-Circa 2001:
"You would probably eat the crotch out of a leper"s
underwear."      

Followed by: "May the hole in your ass heal up.

I thought immediately of Nell Flaherty's Drake also.
May his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt,
May a ghost always haunt him in the dead of the night
May his hen never lay, may his ass never bray,
May his coat fly away like an old paper kite,
May the lice & the fleas the wretch ever tease,
May the pinching north breeze make him tremble and shake,
May a four year old bug build a nest in the lug,
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty's Drake.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: v
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 03:54 AM

frickin an fockin 'A'! what the hades is this shite?? :-)
may you live this life and be reborn to read this thread over an over an over...ad infinitum...amen (backwards).
an' fock a ewe too!
coises,
v
ps (arg - will swab the deck with yer intestines and cool whip...)

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: v
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:35 AM

or - how 'bout an artificial banana daquiri? and/or a fruitfly maggot-infested   *diet* pineapple/coconut margarita mixxed with too much carbonated water and aspartame? in a coconut shell that has mold all over the inside, and green food colouring?
   with limp coconut meat reeking of putrid scavenger activitiy?
   may i offer you a bloody mary, made of ancient tomato juice,which large larvae have been feasting upon, and slime down your throat before you know it? and comes from a can which has botulism growing in red streaks all over?
   i promise not to curse distastefully in this esteemed company.
   may i offer you blood pudding, made from the blood of sick cows, which glow with mad cow syndrome viruses, and a side of fries from blighted potatoes, which were dug up beneath the graves of your ancestors?
   I would rather just offer everyone healthy tea and sandwiches. But that would not be cursing, now - would it?
have i made anyone sick yet,
v

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: GUEST,Oryx
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:12 AM

Shakespeare was the master. Try this from act 2, scene 2 of King Lear! I love "eater of broken meats".

KENT        A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a
        base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
        hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a
        lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
        glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
        one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a
        bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but
        the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
        and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch:

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 09:37 AM

GUEST Oryx, that's great and for some reason I've missed that. But that's not cursing, that's name-calling. Creative, to be sure (I mean, hell, it's Bill!), but name-caling just the same.

I like it, though. I'll have to use some of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:58 PM

Ah, that Shakespear bloke. Couldn't spell his own name (at least 3 variations of it) but can sure think up some goodies!

As we're on the subject - just what IS the 'widow's curse' as heard in a song whose name escapes me and I couldn't find in the DT?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:00 AM

Alright, it's Dunlavin Green. So I remembered just as I hit Submit, OK? I don't want anyone pointing out that it's in the DT....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:34 AM

May you get to sit through Raptor's efforts to get his new giant woofer speaker for the surround sound system working properly, while being pestered by his crazy little sheltie dog the whole time... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 02:00 AM

I curse ye;
I curse ye by a right line, by a crooked line, a simple and a broken.
By flame, by wind, by water, by a mass, by rain and by clay.
By a flying thing, by a creeping thing, by a sarpint.
By an eye, by a hand, by a foot, by a crown, by a cross, by a sword and by a scourge I curse ye.
Haade, Mikaded,Rakeben, Rika, Ritalica, Tasareth, Modeca, Rabert, Tuth, Tumch.

[Missus Munsey
in The Gyrth Chalice Mystery by Margery Allingham]

This somehow doesn't sound like Margery Allingham's invention; does anyone know where it comes from?

clint

tumch

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: freda underhill
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 08:20 AM

In Australia, the traditional tribal Aboriginal method of cursing someone is to point the bone at them, a form of ritual execution by curse.

A graphic description of the effects on bone pointing is given in Dr. Herbert Basedow's book "The Australian Aboriginal," published in 1925:

A man who discovers that he is being boned by an enemy is, indeed, a pitiable sight. He stands aghast, with his eyes staring at the treacherous pointer, and with his hands lifted as though to ward off the lethal medium, which he imagines is pouring into his body. His cheeks blanch and his eyes become glassy, and the expression on his face becomes horribly distorted...He attempts to shriek, but usually the sound chokes in his throat, and all one might see is froth at his mouth. His body begins to tremble and the muscles twist involuntarily. He sways backwards and falls to the ground, and for a short time appears to be in a swoon; but soon after he begins to writhe as if in mortal agony, and covering his face with his hands, begin [sic] to moan. After a while he becomes more composed and crawls to his wurley (hut). From this time onwards he sickens and frets, refusing to eat, and keeping aloof from the daily affairs of the tribe. Unless help is forthcoming in the shape of a counter-charm, administered by the hands of the "Nangarri," or medicine-man, his death is only a matter of a comparatively short time. If the coming of the medicine-man is opportune, he might be saved.

That a hex, spell, or curse can rate such physiological disorders is mystery enough. Even more puzzling are cases of death in which medical examination reveals no evidence of either reduced blood pressure or an abnormal accumulation of red blood cells. One example is that a Dr. P.S . Clarke, concerning a Kanaka tribesman in North Queensland, Australia, who said that he was going to die soon because a spell had been put on him. The doctor's examinations revealed no medical problems, but a few days later the man was dead.

I mention this for two reasons, one, because this is a cursing thread, and two, because our prime minister has just had the bone pointed at him by an aboriginal woman in Victoria (see next thread for details!). many australians will anxiously be awaiting the outcomes!

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: freda underhill
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 08:22 AM

Aboriginal woman places curse on PM; The Age; April 20, 2004 - 4:05PM

An Aboriginal woman put a curse on Prime Minister John Howard as he visited the regional Victorian town of Colac. Clad in possum skin and traditional tribal makeup, the woman stood silently outside Colac Performing Arts Centre while Mr Howard got into his waiting vehicle after addressing a crowd of more than 500 members of the local community.

Embattled Aboriginal leader Geoff Clark and his supporters watched as the woman known as Moopor pointed a bone about 2.5 centimetres long at Mr Howard, who just smiled and waved. The silent protest comes as Mr Howard last week announced the scrapping of the peak Aboriginal organisation ATSIC.

Mr Clark said the curse was a message to Mr Howard to listen to the Aboriginal community. He said the curse could be taken two ways and Mr Howard had a choice to either let Aboriginal people take control of their own affairs and lives or be cursed up until the next federal election. "This curse could go two ways, it could enlighten him and lift a mental block that Mr Howard has about indigenous Australians,' Mr Clark said. "(Or) Mr Howard can refuse to ignore the message at his own peril and be put under a curse up until the next federal election."

The Aboriginal woman known only as Moopor was not permitted to speak with the media in line with Aboriginal culture. But speaking after his public address Mr Howard dismissed the curse and said he would deal with the issue calmly.

"I don't think Mr Clark speaks for indigenous Australia," Mr Howard said. "I will deal with the matter calmly." Dozens of indigenous Australians turned up to protest against Mr Howard's abolition of ATSIC. They were joined by Victorian farmers protesting about changes to Victoria's dairy industry. A handful of anti-war protesters screamed at Mr Howard "shame on you" as he left the venue.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 09:09 AM

My, my, them Aussies! We Yanks would NEVER, EVER put a curse on our President. Everyone here praises him and heaps blessing upon him. At least, I've heard a lot of invoking the Deity and the President at the same time even though I couldn't quite catch the rest of the words. 8-)

"Shame on you!" is or can be a curse too.

According to Powers, a "widow's curse" was exceptionally potent because it was given by someone who had little else left to her.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 09:12 AM

Oh -- I've been using these for years:

"May your children grow up to be disappointments to you."

and

"I hope your tires all go flat at once."

and

"May your skin fall off all at once during your wedding (or at the Prom, or whatever)."

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Allan C.
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 10:31 AM

Although it points more toward insults than curses, I was pretty sure I remembered seeing this in another discussion and here it is:

The Elizabethan Curse Generator

Here is another generator that is more in line with the intended style.

Or you could try some "biblical" curses here.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE REFUGEES' REVENGE (John Dengate)
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:35 PM

I for one will be waiting with baited breath to hear how our prime monster is affected by the bone-pointing! Of course, a great many uncharitable things have been said and written about him over the years, and so far, we still haven't been able to get rid of him.

Our government's treatment of refugees has come in for a great deal of critcism, and John Dengate, a Sydney writer and singer of political parodies, came up with an excellent song about karma - it really is a curse in song parody form - "May you get what you deserve", a simple but satisfying curse. I get to sing this on Sunday at Snalbans. I can't wait! Here 'tis:


THE REFUGEES' REVENGE
John Dengate
Tune: Bread of Heaven / Cwm Rhondda

Mr Howard, you'll have no passport
When you walk through death's dark vale.
Lost and frightened, you will travel
Buffeted by storm and gale.

CHORUS: Mr Howard and Mr Ruddock,
When your bodies are deceased,
You'll be locked in hell and not released.

Mr Ruddock, power will not save you
When you cross the River Styx,
Nor your specious rhetoric and cunning
Nor your ruthless politics.

CHORUS

Speaking from the throne of heaven,
God will weigh your evil deed.
"Howard and Ruddock, I deny you status,
Never now, will you be freed."

CHORUS

You will weep in hell's detention centre
For your cruel and heartless crime.
Cries for mercy endlessly ignored:
Eternity's a long, long time.

CHORUS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: LadyJean
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:20 PM

Some years ago, I broke my elbow, very badly. I sat for nearly three hours in the emergency room with an unsplinted fracture, waiting for somebody to do something about it, and hurting like hell.
When I finally got it X rayed, I told the technician I was likely to swear, as I was in a LOT of pain.
She said swearing was fine, as long as I didn't bite her. She said several patients, adult patients! had bitten her.
I went through the Xrays without one cussword. At the end, I smmiled sweetly, and told the technician I hoped all her children grew up to vote Republican. She said she wished I'd bitten her.

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 12:55 AM

HA HA!! Dunlavin Green ISN'T in the DT so you can't pick on me for that!!!

Despite that, it still doesn't answer the question WHAT is the widow's curse? I know WHY a widow.... can't wait to try it myself.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 01:32 AM

My mom always made up her own curses during times of stress (usually when sitting at her sewing machine):

"oh... BITCH and BE BUGGERED!!!"



"Is that a natural progression, Mom?"

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 01:46 AM

Ah, well if we're going to start that, my mother's favourite cuss was 'buggery bums and arseholes'. Seems perfectly logical to me!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 01:53 AM

Or one from my uncle:

"That guy's enough to give a dog's arse heartburn"


and, when someone nearby farted audibly:

"Don't tear `er! I'll take the whole yard!"

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: darkriver
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 02:34 AM

speakin of the Elizabethans, I recall something from John Marston's play The Malcontent:
"You turdy-facey nasty-patey lousy-fartical rogues!"

Seriously. You can look it up.

D aka darkriver

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Raptor
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 08:23 PM

Little Hawk You snotty nosed insignifiant pile of parrot droppings!

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:08 AM

If you want to insult creatively, then brush up on your Shakespeare:

"My finger in thine eye, thou beslubbering, sheep-biting, winter-cricket!"

Subject: RE: BS: Cursing Thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:36 AM

But insults and exclamations aren't curses.

There was no specific "Widow's Curse." It was a curse, done from the heart, of a widow.

Hmmm...widow...Widon of Windsor...is perhaps the current UK government the result of a curse by Queen Vicky? Is the current mess in Washington the result of a curse by Mary Todd Lincoln or Jackie Onassis? Instead of an election, perhaps we need an exorcism or cleansing.

Subject: Lyr Add: DUNLAVIN GREEN
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:52 AM

the widow's curse is mentioned in this song, Dunlavin Green:

(In Dunlavin, Co Wicklow, Captain Saunders marched 36 prisoners, among them 28 yeomen suspected of having sympathies towards the United Irishmen, from the jail to the village green. They were executed on the spot.)

In the year one thousand seven hundred and ninety eight
A sorrowful tale the truth unto you I'll relate
Of thirty-six heroes to the world were left to be seen
By a false information were shot on Dunlavin Green

Bad luck to you Saunders, for you did their lives betray
You said a parade would be held on that very day
Our drums they did rattle - our fifes they did sweetly play
Surrounded we were and privately marched away

Quite easy they led us as prisoners through the town
To be slaughtered on the plain, we were then forced to kneel down
Such grief and such sorrow were never before there seen
When the blood ran in streams down the dykes of Dunlavin Green

There is young Matty Farrell has plenty of cause to complain
Also the two Duffys who were also shot down on the plain
And young Andy Ryan, his mother distracted will run
For her own brave boy, her beloved eldest son

Bad luck to you, Saunders, may bad luck never you shun!
That the widow's curse may melt you like the snow in the sun
The cries of the orphans whose murmurs you cannot screen
For the murder of their dear fathers on Dunlavin Green

Some of our boys to the hills they are going away
Some of them are shot and some of them going to sea
Micky Dwyer in the mountains to Saunders he owes a spleen
For his loyal brothers who were shot on Dunlavin Green