Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)

Subject: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Golly
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:21 AM

I am interested in any school-ground parodies on Bicycle Built for Two.
Here are three learned in the 1950's in Melbourne, specifically Elwood and Mordialloc.

Daisy, Daisy, the coppers are after you.
If they catch you, you know what they're gointa do?
They'll tie you up with wire
Behind the Black Maria,
So ring your bell and ride like hell
On that bicycle built for two.

Daisy, Daisy, what do you think I did?
Slipped on the jam, tripped over the pram,
And nearly murdered the kid.
The kid began to bubble,
So I hit it with a shovel.
You look neat washing your feet
In a bucket of Irish stew.

Daisy, Daisy, the bicycle's blown a tire;
So we got a tin of Golden Fleece and set thing on fire.
The fire-hose wouldn't reach
And it's burning like peach,
So run like hell jump in the canal
And paddle to Elwood Beach.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:30 AM

golly,

try here http://www.monologues.co.uk/

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:54 AM

In Girl Scouts we sang:


Harry, Harry, here is my answer true
I'd be crazy to run away with you
You can forget the marriage
With or without the carriage.
And I'll be damned if I'll be crammed
On a bicycle built for two!

Allison

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 08:30 AM

Try a DigiTrad search for Daisy Bell. There's a slew of optional choruses.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: GUEST,ToenailsJohn
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 12:45 PM

Another one for your collection...

Daisy, Daisy,
Will we ever be wed?
You're so lazy,
You never get out of the bed.
And should there ever be a marriage,
They won't be any carriage.
It'll be quite neat,
To go down our street
On a bicycle when we get wed.

But Padraig, dear Padraig,
Then I can't marry you,
Coz I can't cycle,
And I'm in the family way too;
And if you're not getting a carriage,
Then you'll not be getting a marriage,
For I'll be damned
If I will be crammed
On a bicycle made for two!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: The Walrus
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 02:56 PM

Mary Mary
Lived with her aunt in Kew,
Big and hairy
She stood about six foot two.
I told her we'd never marry,
She changed her name to 'Harry'
Now her big feet, they pound the beat
'Cos she's one of our 'Boys in Blue'

(Can't remember wher I first heard that one)

Walrus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: GUEST,Lindswidder
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 03:08 PM

My children brought this one home from Primary school in the 1980s

Daisy, Daisy, give me your tits to chew
I'm half crazy, my bollocks are turning blue
I can't afford a johnny, a plastic bag will do
And you'd look neat, upon a seat
With me on top of you!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 03:12 PM

ooo, I was going to post a variant on the above one, but thought I'd spare the audience! (Last lines "but you'll look smart, with your legs apart".) Another campfire song I can't sing with the Guides (along with "She'll be coming round the mountain").

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Micca
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 06:29 AM

I have heard "Daisy, daisy" sung to the Tune" Hail the conquering Hero comes" from Judas Maccabeus by GF Handel,(tune is also used for the Hymn " Thine is the Glory") it needed a little Jemmying to fit but is so Startling it works!!! a different kind of Parody perhaps?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: pavane
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 07:36 AM

Daisy itself might have started as a parody - there is a song 'Sarah Sarah, or a donkey-cart built for two', written by Harry Bedford in the 19th century.

Scroll down this page to view

Subject: Lyr Add: DAISY BELL (Harry Dacre)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:13 AM

The original DAISY BELL doesn't sound all that much like a parody. From here I got this info, along with the lyric (and another parody):

The magazine "Australian Cyclist" has a column with articles from "The Australian Cyclist" of 100 years ago. Last month's was about Daisy Bell.


DAISY BELL

1. There is a flower within my heart,
Daisy, Daisy!
Planted one day by a glancing dart,
Planted by Daisy Bell!
Whether she loves me or loves me not,
Sometimes it's hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

CHORUS: Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage;
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet
On the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!

2. We will go "tandem" as man and wife,
Daisy, Daisy!
"Ped'ling" away down the road of life,
I and my Daisy Bell!
When the road's dark we can both despise
P'licemen and "lamps" as well.
There are "bright lights" in the dazzling eyes
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

3. I will stand by you in "wheel" or woe,
Daisy, Daisy!
You'll be the bell(e) which I'll ring, you know!
Sweet little Daisy Bell!
You'll take the "lead" in each "trip" we take,
Then, if I don't do well,
I will permit you to use the brake,
My beautiful Daisy Bell!

More trivia (as if this wasn't trivial enough already).

This was written by Harry Dacre in London in 1892 and was very popular in Australia in 1894. Mr Dacre seems to have been very fond of bad puns and exclamation marks.

The bicycle was a "lady front" tandem. I remember reading somewhere that it was thought improper for a lady to be staring at a man's backside. The magazine reproduces an advertisement for one made by Humber. It's billed as "For lady and gentleman or two gentleman" and "Double or single steering at pleasure". The one pictured has the front wheel steered by both sets of handlebars (makes the "would you trust your stoker with a brake" argument seem pretty minor). The picture doesn't show any brakes so I don't whether the lady was entrusted with one (though the song seems to imply that she was).

There is also a photo of a large mug with a picture of a tandem couple embossed on it. The lady (front) appears to be wearing bloomers, gloves to the elbow and a flat straw hat. The gentleman is wearing a dark suit with bowler hat and bow tie. The mug has the words to the song around the bottom and contains a music box that played the tune.

The song was so popular that a parody appeared in "The Australian Cyclist"

"Written after an hour of vain endevour to work in close range of half-a-dozen ambitious young things who try to sing Daisy Bell, because it's popular and not because they can sing a note of it correctly."

Daisy Daisy
For Heaven's sake drop dead, do.
I've gone crazy
Listening to songs of you.
If you'll only skip the marriage
I'll furnish a handsome carriage
For you and your beau
Laid two in a row,
A coffin that's built for two.

Martin Dix

It's also in the DT, and so is all this.

Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 04:32 AM

There was a form of bicycle brake that was foot operated. Instead of the pedals being permantly linked to the wheel, there was a "freewheel" arrangement that meant you could stop pedalling. If you attempted to pedal backwards, it activated a brake withing the rear hub. My bike as a child had one of these, and no hand activated brake, until I got one of those for one of my birthdays.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 05:18 AM

Whence the expression "back-pedalling", meaning to try and slow down or stop some state of affairs or some process, Foolestroupe.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Golly
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:58 AM

Wow!
I am sated! thanks everybody.The collective knowledge in this forum is amazing. I am going to use these parodies to start a little songwriting contest for a primary school pageant in rural Australia and wanted to present the children with some ideas. Mission accomplished!I won't present them with the more racy versions.I am coming to the conclusion that the real folk music present in western society nowadays is from the mouths of babes and usually is obscene.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Cool Beans
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 10:53 AM

Here in Detroit in the 1980s, a city councilwoman whose name really was Daisy was convicted of possessing a stolen car, whereupon one of my colleagues on the city desk, wrote the following:

Daisy, Daisy,
Turn in your Cadillac.
It was stolen,
So you must give it back.
You haven't got any papers.
You gave the judge the vapors.
We're sorry, ma'am
You face the slam
'Cause your Cadillac's hot.
Adieu!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:01 AM

Nothing much to add to the vast amount of stuff above, except that the

For I'll be Dammed if I will be crammed

line is remembered by me as a slight variant

For I'll be blowed if I'll be stowed

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: pavane
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:08 PM

Steve, Dick, I don't think we were talking about Daisy Bell! Totally different song

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:21 PM

Granted we're supposed to be talkng about parodies, but if not of Daisy Bell, then what?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy parodies
From: GUEST,Anthony Berent
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 10:24 AM

Don't know if anybody is still interested in Daisy Daisy parodies.

When I was at primary school in Hampstead (North London) in the 1960s the playground version was:

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy all for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish wedding,
I can't afford a bedding.
But you'll look sweet washing your feet
on the banks of the river Fleet!

The river Fleet is an old London river, with its source in Hampstead. It had, however, been effectively a sewer for some hundreds of years, and most of it was covered over well before the Daisy Bell was written (or the invention of the bicycle).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 11:04 PM

Charlie, Charlie, here is my answer true
Your'e have crazy if you think that that will do
There won't be any marriage
If you can't afford a carriage
For I'll be switched
'fore I'll be hitched
on a bicycle built for two

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: clueless don
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 09:41 AM

I learned the "For I'll be damned if I'll be crammed" line as a boy. I suspect that the "For I'll be switched if I'll be hitched" line is the more "socially acceptable" version.

I have a recording (given to me by a friend - I don't recall anything about it, such as who the singer is) of a song that may have been from the period when Daisy Bell was popular. In it, the singer laments that he hears the song everywhere he goes. Part of the chorus:

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do"
Sure that's the tune that drives me mad the whole day through


Don

Subject: Lyr Add: DAISY BELL (The McNulty Family)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Jul 13 - 05:38 PM

This isn't really a parody; it uses a completely different tune than the original DAISY BELL. I think the tune is a traditional Irish one, but I don't know its name. You can hear this song at The Internet Archive. It is item #9 on the list on that page. This is my transcription:


DAISY BELL
As recorded by the McNulty Family, Decca (USA) 12246B, 9-Dec-1940.

1. I suppose I mustn't tell you but perhaps I might as well:
I have a wife and seven children and they all sing "Daisy Bell."
My wife begins the chorus and the others follow suit,
And the oldest in corner sits and plays it on the flute.

CHORUS: "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do"—
Sure that's the tune that drives me mad the whole day through,
And every organ grinder and the other bands as well,
And the boys and girls across the hills are whistlin' "Daisy Bell."

2. When I come home at dinner time instead of havin' stew,
I have to suffer a rehearsal of "A Bicycle for Two."
The kids around the table all assemble in a ring,
And in forty diff'rent languages they all begin to sing: CHORUS

3. Pete tunes up the fiddle and Eileen begins to dance,
And Mickey 'round the table starts to howl and shout and prance,
While Ma out in the parlour the melodeon starts to play,
And for miles around the hills abound all through the night and day: CHORUS


[The tune they sing this to is not the original DAISY BELL; I suspect it is a traditional Irish tune but I don't quite recognize it.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 13 Jul 13 - 06:07 PM

Slightly different version to the OPs

Daisy, Daisy, the coppers are after you,
If they catch you they'll give you a month or two,
They'll tie you up wi wire
Behind a black maria
So ring your bell and pedal like hell,
On your bicycle made for two.

I have a vague recollection of a parody used as a football chant many years ago.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST,liz geoff's daughter
Date: 11 Apr 15 - 09:08 PM

My Dad taught me This version from his childhood in london, born 1937.

Michael, Michael,here is my answer dear
I won't cycle becuse it hurts my rear
if you can't afford a carriage,
there won't be a bloomin' marriage
cos I'll be blowed if I'll be towed
On a bicycle built for two

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 09:18 PM

Back in 1996, I posted this parody to rec.music.folk:

Daisy, Daisy, send me some email, do
I'm half-crazy all for a byte of you
I can't afford a modem
I don't know how to code 'em
But you'd look good
Upon a node
Of the internet built for two.

[Insert male name, twice], here is your email true
I'd be crazy to interface with you
Why don't you get a clue be-
Fore ranting like a newbie
And I'll be damned
If I'll be spammed
On an internet built for two.

Jeri Corlew replied with

Daisy, Daisy read my chain letter do
Though I'm crazy, I swear it all is true
Then send it to five others
Their sisters and their brothers
And you will stash
A lot of cash
Off this e-mail I sent to you

Moron, moron, I read your chain letter through
I'd be crazy to do what you said to do
So take your bloody spamming
Dispose of it by cramming
I hope you're flamed
By all those named
When the letter comes back to you

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST,Bill from Bedford (email to Joe Offer)
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 01:39 AM

Hi Joe

As a tandemist I'm not too happy with the various versions of Daisy Bell's reply to "Daisy, Daisy". For instance, talking about being "crammed" on a tandem doesn't make even comical sense.

So here's my version:

"Dear Mr Cyclist, have I got news for you:
I'm not crazy about what you want to do.
If you can't afford a carriage, there won't be any marriage.
In my bridal gown, I'd look like a clown on a bicycle made for two."

Keep smiling! Trump can't live for ever!


Bill

Bedford, UK

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 17 - 12:12 PM

Maggie Thatcher the miners are after you
If they catch you they'll give you a year or two
They'll tie you up with wire
And set your arse on fire
So ring your bell & pedal like hell
'Cos the miners are after you       c1984 Co Durham

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 09:02 AM

There's this.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Sep 21 - 09:50 AM

Here are the versions I learned as a kid, variations on those already listed:
Daisy daisy, the cops are after you. If they catch you, they’ll give you a year or two. They’ll hang you on a wire, behind a Black Maria. So ring your bell and go like hell on a bicycle built for two. Very dark but it scans better. No. 2. William, William, here is my answer true. I would never marry a man like you. If you can’t afford a carriage, forget the blinking marriage. For I’ll be damned if I’ll be jammed on a bicycle built for two. Cheers, Karen Weiss

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Daisy Bell (and parodies)
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jun 22 - 07:38 PM

Here is a version my mom passed down to me

Johnny Johnny you're half crazy
If you can't afford a carriage
Then you can't afford a marriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for one