Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be

Subject: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:41 AM

I'd be grateful for the words of this song, even the Max Bygraves(!) version.

Thanks in advance
Stuart Reed

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:49 PM

Lyrics Here Requires Adobe Acrobat reader


Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST,Stuart Reed
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 06:58 PM

Thanks a million Nigel! I was about to give up in despair.
In retrospect I'm ashamed of the snidey apostrophe in my first post - I heard him sing The Wild Rover once. Don't ask.

Cheers
Stuart

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: LindsayInWales
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 10:39 PM

You've missed out one of the verses, I don't remember it word for word but it ends thus -


...strummin' themselves wiv three chords only.
Once we danced from twelve to three
I've got news for Elvis P
Fings ain't wot they used t'be

..oh, and don't take the piss out of Max Bygraves...there won't be many of US who will be as well-loved and well-remembered when we are in our eighties.....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:42 AM

I suppose someone ought to point out that the lyrics and music were by Lionel Bart and that it came from the show of the same name, which was originally produced at The Theatre Royal Stratford (East London) by the late Joan littlewood who was once connected with the late Ewan McColl. It was adapted from a book by Frank Norman.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:23 PM

She was connected by being married to him, I believe!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:26 PM

That's the cleaned-up Boy Scout version Nigel's linked to. The original lyrics were more risque -- sorry I can't help you with them.

Steve

Subject: Lyr Add: FINGS AIN'T WOT THEY USED TO BE (L Bart)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 12:35 AM

Copied from http://www.20th.org.uk/gangshow/GS2004%20-%20Fings.pdf

FINGS AIN'T WOT THEY USED TO BE

They've changed our local palais
Into a bowling alley,
And fings ain't wot they used t' be.
There's teds wiv drain-pipe trousers,
And debs in coffee houses,
And fings ain't wot they used to be.

It used t' be fun,
Dad and old Mum
Paddling down Southend,
But now it ain't done.
Never mind, chum,
Paris is where we spend our outings!

Grandma tries to shock us all,
Doing knees up rock 'n' roll.
Fings ain't wot they used t' be.
Monkeys flying round the moon,
We'll be up there wiv 'em soon.
Fings ain't wot they used t' be.

Once our beer was froffy,
But now it's froffy coffee!
No! Fings ain't wot they used t' be.
There used t' be trams,
Not very quick,
Got you from place to place;
But now there's just jams,
Half a mile thick.
Stay in, human race;
I'm walking!

They've stuck parking meters
Outside our doors to greet us.
No, Fings ain't wot they used t'
Did the lot, we used t',
Fings ain't wot they used t' be.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: belfast
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 09:36 AM

I have heard it argued that the tune is a variation of "Mountain Greenery".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST,rlreed
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 09:34 AM

Thanks for the lyrics, now what about the music - single note melody and chorda would be fine (I do not profess to be an Oscar Peterson, more like the proverbial monkey at a keyboard!).

Thanks

Robin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: MartinRyan
Date: 25 Apr 09 - 10:30 AM

We used to have trams, not very fast,
Get you from place to place
Now there's just jams, 'alf a mile long,
Curse of the human race, so help me

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST,natterjack
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 11:31 AM

I'd like to see the original lyrics somewhere. I do recall a line about "pimps would kill lazy whores"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 01:13 PM

Slight diffrences Here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 27 Feb 12 - 02:11 PM

The Max Bygraves version was much bowdlerised from the stage show version, and most versions you can find are derived from that. You really need the original show cast version. Have a listen to the clip of the song at: Fings Ain't Wot They Used To Be - amazon mp3, to hear how different it might be. On a quick look I can't find a (free) version online.

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST
Date: 12 May 12 - 04:50 PM

I used to lead a lovely life of sin ,
That is the correct start of the song . I have the original lp I would love to get the llyrics
How do I get them

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jul 12 - 07:48 PM

ORIGINAL 'Lionel Bart' lyrics (GRHS):

They've turned our local Palais into a bowling alley... and fings ain't wot they used to be.

There's toffs with toffee-noses, and poofs in coffee-houses, and fings ain't wot they used to beee.

There used to be fun, painting the town... doing a bit of ice.
Nowadays a brass won't go down, under a union price... not likely!

Once in golden days of Yore, a dressed up ponce killed a lazy whore...
And fings aint what they used to be!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 12:34 PM

Lyrics from original Fings Ain't Wot They Used Ta Be

Original lyrics


I used to lead a lovely life of sin; dough! I charged a ton
Now it's become an undercover game;
Who want to read a notice in a window, "Massaging Done"
Somehow the business doesn't seem the same

It's a very different scene
Well, you know what I mean...

There's toffs wiv toffee noses and poofs in coffee 'ouses and
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There's short time low priced mysteries, wivout proper histories
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
It used to be class doing the town
Buying a bit o' vice - and that's when a brass
Couldn't go down, under the union price,
Not likely!
Once in golden days of yore, ponces killed a lazy whore
Fings ain't what they used t'be.


Cops from universities, dropsy! wot a curse it is,
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Big hoods now are little hoods, gamblers now do Littlewoods
Fings ain't wot they used t’be.
There used to be schools, fahsands of pounds
Passing across the baize, there used to be tools
Flashing around, oh for the bad old days
Remember!
How we used to pull for 'em, I've got news for Wolfenden
Fings ain't wot they used ta - did their lot they used ta
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Fings Ain't What They Used To Be
From: leeneia
Date: 15 Jan 19 - 04:52 PM

"Once in golden days of yore, ponces killed a lazy whore"

That's not funny, and it's not satire. I'm glad to see it's been rewritten.