Ofsted into Folk

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Dug
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 07:05 PM

The Ofsted Song by Doug Jenner (Tune-Walzing Matilda)

I'm just a humble teacher I am not an evil creature
And I think my work is adequate as far as I can tell
Yet I've been tested and inspected, examined and dissected
And it's been the stuff of nightmares and it's been the week from hell

Chorus:

So goodbye to Ofsted, they can bugger ofsted
there's been quite enough said about our little school
for they've watched and they've noted
and they've postures and they've quoted
and about the place they've floated in a manner harsh ahd cruel


Like everyone I see now I'm as knackered as can be
and I have taken all my lesson plans and shoved them in the bin,
and I'd run in the elections for to ban ofsted inspections
but I'm secretly afraid that it's a fight we'll never win (Chorus)

(I wrote another verse but I can't remember it- I'll have to look for it...)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Pete_Standing
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 12:27 PM

Does anyone know of an online link to the TES/Guardian article mentioned at the head of this thread?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 15 May 04 - 04:02 PM

So it all comes down to stupid arseholes trying to stop gifted and talented people getting on with what they are good at. Me thinks they might even be jealouus of anybody gifted to teach, so they knock them down.

They want them to fill stupid forms in so that they don't have enough time to pass on to people their skills.

Lets face it all ofsted personel and anybody that supports them are just a load of stupid aresholes who don't like to see gifted people do what they are good at.

That is the reason why this country is going down the nick.
Get rid of Ofsted and then we can all spend our time more productively.

Just look at Learn Direct. The biggest con job in the world. All you need is an administrator, who is then classified as a tutor, but knows FA about teaching. I know I have done it (I am qualified with many years of teaching in Commerce). The idea is to get forms filled in and con people into thinking they are doing well. No teaching skill involved whatsoever. Its all about getting the grants. Not about training people with teacher lead concept. No coursebooks and when it comes to the crunch, these administrators know FA about the subject that needs to be taught. That is why the courses are so cheap.

In the past I have had to pick up the pieces on the damage done by these learn direct centres. They take 4 months to let people learn what is possible in a day.

I will let you know if Learn Direct try to shut me up. He He

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Trish
Date: 15 May 04 - 02:53 PM

Wrote this one 2 years ago (post-OFSTED), usual thanks and apologies for "borrowing tunes/lyrics etc.
No one who isn't a teacher has any idea of what being OFSTED'd is like, it isn't just that they "move the goalposts", they change the bloody game as well!


Teacher's Life

Teacher's life is like a miner's, or a prisoner doing time
Every day you're at the chalkface in front of horrible year 9
Watch your back they're little horrors, up to mischief without fail
Keep one eye what they're doing, and you'll live to tell the tale

Union teachers stick together, do not heed what OFSTED say
Keep one eye on what they're doing, and live to teach another day

Now it's break and year 10's looming, raging hormones, chocolate high
There is nothing you can teach them, yet every day you must try
So grit your teeth and go in smiling, you know you must not fail
To keep one eye what they're doing, then you'll live to tell the tale

Union teachers stick together, do not heed what OFSTED say
Keep one eye on what they're doing, and live to teach another day

After lunch it's year 11, just 3 weeks 'til study leave
Count the hours 'til their going, and that great big sigh we all heave
2 year's work in just 6 lessons. The exam they must not fail
So keep one eye what they're doing, then you'll live to tell the tale

Union teachers stick together, do not heed what OFSTED say
Keep one eye on what they're doing, and live to teach another day

In conclusion, just remember, keep this thought in your mind
That you hold within your power the future of mankind
For what you do in the classroom, forever will prevail
And if you help just one child, then you know you did not fail

Union teachers stick together, do not heed what OFSTED say
Keep one eye on what they're doing, and live to teach another day

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Cobble
Date: 15 May 04 - 02:03 PM

What about health and safety, do we sing in a high visability vest and wear a hard hat?? Can we be sued for damaging somebodys ears, that only listens to electronic CRAP???

            The mind boggles Cobble.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 14 May 04 - 11:05 AM

What happens if I fail the tests ? - do I have to stop singing folk songs - or do I have to see "miss" when school's over.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: muppett
Date: 14 May 04 - 10:58 AM

Oh no not here as well, just spent best part of the day trying to set up a meeting with these buggers, so the community centre I work in can put the right procedures in place so they can run a creche and now they want monitor my leisure time ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: el ted
Date: 14 May 04 - 10:40 AM

Three months holidays.......... only "work" 9am to 3.30pm........ overpaid............ easy life!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Sweetfia
Date: 13 May 04 - 04:13 PM

When we had Ofsted at school it was rather amusing, because all the crap teachers would draw up 'lesson plans' and write the lesson's 'objectives' on the board when normally the teacher didn't give a shit about us...of course, the class was always on their "best" behaviour...ha! However, for decent teachers like my mum(i'm saying this as a comparision to tecahers at my old high school, not to anyone who's a tecaher on here) Ofsted can be very stressful. So shut up dad (El Ted) you don't know what your on about!

Ofsted should stay clear of Folk, it would only be a nuisance.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 12 May 04 - 03:51 PM

If you check the Ofsted noticeboard you will find a number of post asking for Ofsted to take a look at Mike Harding's Folk prog.

Now, I have no issue with Mike's prog but I know a lot of others do.

I think people in the folk community should be careful about encouraging the evil people of Ofsted.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Sooz
Date: 12 May 04 - 03:01 PM

Jez Lowe - I claim early retirement immediately!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: breezy
Date: 12 May 04 - 03:00 PM

cant be any worse than Joe Stead


nothing is worse than Joe Stead


only Joe Stead


What became of Stan Arnold?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: breezy
Date: 12 May 04 - 02:58 PM

El Greko and I are making notes right now



Will I be offered early retirement again?



Clubs failing folk better watch out.


Who wrote and sang the line
'Never take advice when it comes for free'


So thats it for the open sessions then

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 12 May 04 - 12:56 PM

Will the Folk of the West Riding confirm or deny a rumour that 2 folk clubs have been found to have serious weaknesses and a morris side has been deemed in need of special measures?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:59 PM

he he that might get Mrs sooz going

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: el ted
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:54 PM

Teachers......... easy life!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM

No Ofsted officers there!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:09 AM

How you doing Sooz. Do you want to play live on the BBC Bus next week?

You may get a call from Rachel who works on the BBC Bus. They are in Market Rasen all next week.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Sooz (at work
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:02 AM

Ofsted report on schools, not on individual teachers. Inspections are not new and the stress comes form being part of a team and not letting the side down. Teachers are incredibly loyal! The profession has other ways of assessing individuals and this process is ongoing whereas Ofsted inspections can be years apart.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Parent
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:35 AM

In most walks of life people experience on-going assessments within their job. Why should teachers be any different?, assessments are new to them so they need to get used to them. Our children are taught by teachers and we need to be assured it is done correctly, and to a certain high standard. How many of us have bad experiences from school in the past.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Kathy
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:19 AM

They use one of our CD's in music lessons at my school as examples of Folk already. We've just been 'done' and found that the music was very good but if you want to be found very good and have your hair fall out, lose half a stone in four days, not sleep, spend hours comforting colleagues that are in tears because of the callousness of the whole thing.....then let Ofsted into folk music but I won't be there!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Sooz(at work)
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 08:57 AM

Must be his brother.....or a late arrival.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 08:31 AM

El Ted are you any relation to Ofs Ted ?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 08:07 AM

Hey Splott Man - Where do I apply to join Off Key ??

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Sooz(at work)
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 07:46 AM

Pied Piper's comments notwithstanding - I feel a career change coming on. Where do I apply?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 07:34 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Pied Piper
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 06:53 AM

What's the difference between an OFSTED inspector and a plastic
Surgeon?














The Surgeon tucks features.

PP

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Schantieman
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:31 AM

Presumably 'beaurocracy' is government by the handsome?



;-)

S

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:08 AM

Do you think that this is a ploy by Breezy and El Greko.

Are they the Ofsted Officers?

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Ian
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:03 AM

Im sure that the results of the inspections could form part of the annual folk awards which would require at least one rep from each site to attend. Fully funded by the government as effective feedback is a requirement of any inspection.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:56 AM

But hey lets think about it. Its a good way to keep the unemployment low.

How come we care so much about ofsted's etc, and then go and kill thousands of innocent people as we have in Iraq. Maybe we should send everybody involved in ofsted to Iraq. Hopefully they won't come back. :-)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: el ted
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:51 AM

Whenever this touchy feely Government puts money into anything, an army of clerks is raised up to "regulate" it. Don't laugh, it will happen. Risk assessments will follow.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Splott Man
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:43 AM

Don't forget you'll have to fill in a risk assessment form predicting the possible damage each song can do to the audience and the steps take to avoid said damage. If you play an instrument you'll need to go on a manual handling course.
If you do a murder ballad, you'll probably have to go on an anger management course afterwards.

Splott Man (Founder of OffKey)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:54 AM

The old problem

"Are they learning"

Well I am not a musician and am not learning.

I am listening.

Maybe I could learn to listen better, that way I must be learning

Am I learning to say no when somebody asks me if i want to sing. Of course I don't bloody want to sing. My voice is crap and I would not let other people suffer just becuase of my own ego.
If I want to learn to sing, I will go and get lessons. If and when I am good enough, I might then, having practiced my 2 songs, go and plant my arse on the chair in a folk club, where they are good at listening to crap. :-)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:43 AM

under the new framework if the folk club is satisfactory in all areas it will fail - they are no longer looking at your teaching ability but the effect you are having on how the other mere mortals are learning - no a- level choruses please!!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:54 AM

The other problem is that they may enjoy it too much, and keep on coming back!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:59 PM

I also suppose that they'll travel around the countryside staying in 1st class hotels, then visiting pubs etc where the venue is, having already asked for all the different bits of information to be sent out in advance. Can you imagine how they might manage a floor singers night or a session when there is no strict running order and nobody knows who is going to turn up for certain?

Bang goes your funding mate for not sticking to the planning!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:35 AM

Can you imagine that.
Somebody turns up at the club and asks if he can sing.

Club Organiser
"Have you got your Song Plan with lyrics of each song, who wrote them, timings etc"

Artist
"No M8, but I can get some toilet paper and scribble it on there"

CO
"Ok can you fill this 22 page form required by the European Funding Commission, to justify the money we pay you, becuase we are funded by them and they have millions of people all waiting to input your information into the database"

A
"OK M8, but can you help me fill it in, becuase I am dyslexic. If you read out the questions and I will answer them, and you fill the answers in"

CO
"I can read the questions out for you, but I am not allowed to write the answers, you have to do that"

A
"OK"

CO
"Name, Address, Telephone number, Age"

Pause whilst A fills the answers in.

CO
"Sex"

A
"Have we got time?"

CO
"No I mean are you Male or Female?"

A
"Well surely you can tell that can't you"

CO
"yes, you are female and you need to put that on the form"

A
"Oh OK"

CO
"Are you British, white, black"

A
"No"

CO
"Are you Irish"

A
"No"

CO
"Are you Indian"


And so on and so forth

CO
"Do you have any disabilties"

A
"Blimey its already 11:00 pm, sorry but I have to go and catch the last train, maybe I can come back next time"


God help us.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From:
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 04:21 AM

Should it ever happen (which I doubt) you'll need planning, scheme of songs, timings, and all the other crap that goes with an F'oftsted inspection. Sod that-I'm going to play heavy metal from now on! Looooow lie lie lie lie the fields of Athenry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 03:59 AM

I agree, but its nice to get your thoughts off your chest :-)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 09:19 PM

I kind of suspect that this story has got a bit spun. Not much point in getting all aerated without rather more infornation about it than we've been given so far.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: PennyBlack
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 09:02 PM

"There's only one F in Ofsted"

song to the tune of Guantanamera???

must be traditional though ;-)

PB

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 08:41 PM

Let's see: We are happy to have cowboy builders scaring the shit out of old people; that doesn't need inspecting/monitoring. But folk does?
Puleease!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 08:39 PM

Folk? Politically correct? I'd laugh if it wasn't tragic. So, all the alternative content of folk will be criticiesd?
Let'em come.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 07:07 PM

Beaurocracy. More jobs for the boys from idiots who woudn't know there arse from their face.
All this sort of thing is stifling talent and turning everybody into form filling paper wasting idiots. Why can't life just get back to simplicity.
People don't have time to show their skills anymore becuase they are filling in stupid forms that seem to satisfy some plonker who sits in an ivory tower picking their nose and thinking up the next idiotic thing to upset everybody.
If they try that at my club they will get a kick straight up the arse and shown the door.
oops thees beaurocrats don't like you having a go at them. :-)

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Gareth
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 07:01 PM

No - regretably I fear that it will mean that all folk activities will have to be "politically correct".

Gareth

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Rasener
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 07:01 PM

More beaurocracy. When will it ever end. Stifling the life out of everything.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 05:41 PM

OffFolk? FolkOff!

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: GUEST,Peter from Essex
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM

If you are going to be inspected Ned it means that you have already taken the government shilling. Those of us who pay taxes expect some value in return.

Subject: RE: Ofsted into Folk
From: Ned Ludd
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 05:09 PM

Does that mean we'll have to sing better when the inspectors come in?