Subject: ADD: Australiana
From:
allanwill
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 11:05 AM
This is a similar play on words using Aussie terms. The performer is Austen Tayshus and this is from his website.
AUSTRALIANA
SITTING AT HOME LAST SUNDAY MORNING ME MATE BOOMERANG, SAID HE WAS HAVING A FEW FRIENDS AROUND FOR A BARBIE, SAID HE MIGHT KOOKABURRA OR TWO, I SAID SOUNDS GREAT WILL WALLABY THERE, HE SAID YEAH AND VEGEMITE COME TOO.
SO I SAID TO THE WIFE YOU WANNA GOANNA, SHE SAID I'LL GO IF DINGOES. I SAID TO BOOMER WATTLE WE DO ABOUT NULLA, HE SAID NULLABORS ME TO TEARS LEAVE HIM AT HOME.
WE GET TO THE PARTY AT ABOUT TWO, WALK STRAIGHT OUT TO THE KITCHEN TO PUT SOME BOOZE IN THE FRIDGE AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT, THERE'S BOOMER'S WIFE WARRA SITTING THERE TRYING TO PLATYPUS, NOW I DON'T LIKE TO SPEAK ILLAWARRA, BUT I MEAN HOW MUCH CAN A KOALA BEAR? SO I GRABBED A BEER FLASHED ME WANGARATTA AND HEADED OUT TO JOIN THE PARTY.
JUST THEN AYERS ROCKS IN AND THINGS START HAPPENING. THIS INDIAN GIRL MARSU TURNS UP DYING TO GO TO THE TOILET, BUT SHE COULDN'T FIND IT I SAID TO ME MATE AL, HEY WHERE CAN MARSUPIAL? HE SAID SHE COULD GO OUTBACK WITH THE FELLAS "SHE'S PROBABLY SEEN A COCKATOO".
A COUPLE OF QUEENSLAND AT THE GIG ONE SMELLING PRETTY HEAVILY OF AFTERSHAVE, HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME, I SAID YOU KNOW MATE EUREKA STOCKADE.
IT WAS A BLOODY HOT DAY AND OSCAR FELT LIKE A SWIM, HE SAID TO ENA YOU WANNA HAVE A DIP IN THE RIVERINA, SHE SAID I HAVEN'T GOT MY KOSCIUSKO, BO SAID COME IN STARKERS WATTLE LAKE EYRE, ENA SAID WHAT! WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THREDBO, PERISHER THOUGHT HAS EUCUMBENE IN YET MAYBE I COULD BORROW HERS.
A FEW BLOKES DECIDED TO PLAY CRICKET, I SAID LET WOMBAT AND TENTERFIELD AND THEY SAID I SHOULD BOWL BUT I WAS TOO OUT OF IT TO PLAY CRICKET SO I SUGGESTED A GAME OF CARDS. I SAID TO LYPTUS YOU WANNA GAME OF EUCALYPTUS, HE SAID THERE'S NO POINT MATE DARWINS EVERY TIME.
BILL SAID HE'D LIKE A SMOKE, BUT NOBODY KNEW WHERE THE DOPE WAS STASHED, I SAID I THINK MERINOS, BUT I WAS JUST SPINNING A BIT OF A YARN. BARRY PULLS A JOINT OUT OF HIS POCKET, BILL SAYS GREAT BARRIER REEFER, WHAT IS IT MATE? NOOSA HEADS OF COURSE, ME MATE ADELAIDE IT ON ME. I SAID "CHUCK US THE TALLY HOBART, THEY'RE OUT ON THE LAUNCESTON, CAN YOU GET THEM FOR ME?" BURNIE SAYS "SHE'S APPLES I'LL GET THEM FOR YOU". IT WAS A GREAT JOINT TOO, BLUE MOUNTAINS AWAY AND HIS THREE SISTERS.
JUST THEN ALICE SPRINGS INTO ACTION AND STARTS TO PACK BILLABONG, BUT YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT THE BONG'S BROKEN I SAID "LORD HOWE'. HAYMAN!"
SOMEONE SHOUTS: WILL A DIDJERIDOO? I SAID WELL, 'MMMMMMMAYBE IT'LL HAVE TO.'
I LOOK IN THE CORNER AND THERE'S BASS SITTING THERE NOT GETTING INTO IT, NOT GETTING OUT OF IT. I SAID "WHAT IS BASS STRAIT OR SOMETHING?" BOOMER SAID "NO WAY MATEY HE'S A COPPER." "YOU'RE JOKING MATE A COPPER I'M GETTING OUTA HERE LET'S GOANNA." SHE SAID 'NO WAY'! I'M HANGING AROUND 'TILL GUM LEAVES, BESIDES I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE JACARANDA PARTY ON HIS OWN, I THINK HE'S TRYING TO CRACK ON TOWOOMBA, HE'S ALREADY TRIED TO MOUNT ISA AND HE'LL DEFINITELY TRY TO LEAD YOU AUSTRALIANA."
Translations available on request.
Allan
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