Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver

Subject: Obit: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:04 PM

Helooo,
i thinking of beeen a taxi driver, my frrend called jAmes isa txi driver, anmd my frend caalllled STeve is a taxi driver, and they can making loads of money.

but i got "drink driving re" record on my liceunse, but my frend called james says "it dusent matter".,
you can rent car off them, and its 70 quid a week, and you can make $100 a nigh, so that pays for it,


and them taxiu peolple not got proper insurencace, [so its cheeperar]
prorper taxi insureance is more expenxsieve, but that taxi boss is not bothered.

and i nkow the area as well, [so no problum there][


and i can rent a car off them for 70 quid a week, and i knoew the area, and wehn the studentss come back i can rip them off [ie charhge them more, [stednubntes are rubbish],
charge them 5 quid for 2 quid job etc.

and you haf to pay money for taxi radio in your cat, but i dony knoew how muchj i that is, [i have to ask the taxi booss], ;and see about the hours etc,

and taxio job means you is selfg employed, = so gey you holidays booked etcv

[my holidays time is WHItyby FoLlj Week., [thats in aSgust]


[in busiy time you can make loads of moiney, my frend called STeve is a Taxi driver, but he sspends all his money in the pub, [ i bet if he dident go to pub evry day, he could buy a house, but he likes to go to pub.john

Subject: RE: Obit: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:06 PM

i putobit, bit it was a mistake, [ i;m not ded, [it should be "joyhgn from hull-taxi driber"

anyway= 70 wuid = only 10 qwewiud a day, so i going to see anoiut this,.
john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:10 PM

helooo, please cahnge this title to=jihn from hull -taxi driver.

Subject: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:14 PM

i thghinkjing of been a taxi fgriver.

johhn

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:50 PM

anyway= i dont knoew how muchth is tadio mooney, [
[ if its your car its 40 quid a week], if you rent the car off them, i dont know, m[ mabye is included, [ i haf to ask them, and fidn out.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:58 PM

Why do you even bother....

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: bengi
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:00 AM

You've given up on being Hulls touch typist?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:07 AM

i applied for job at the goodwin centre [as Etnic minorities social inclusion officer], i hope i get that job, , but probably i won;t, [as loads of un employement in hull. and about 200 peopollke trying for every job.

anyway=goverment should make more jobs in hull., as every body is getting fed up of not having a job etvc,=


goverment should make factorys here, [like car factorys etc [i 36 years old, but i nerver seen no big factorys here in my life],
goverment and council etc are shit, [they just lie all the tine =" we make loads of jobs for people",
but they dont, they just lie, council piss me off, they full off shit.

they never make any big factorys here, always sonewere else.


only job here is fish factory job, or cleaning job, -or taxi driver job, or bouncer in nightclub job,

or out of town jobs waht nobody wants anyway= like slaughterman job, or shit jobs like that.


hull is shit for jobs, unless you got a good proffesion = ie you are doctor, or archy tect or law yer, you cant find a job,
maybe next year i will move, [leeeds or wake field etc , not sure really], but i fed up of job situation in hull, its shit.


i will try taxi driving job, after that, [if its no good etc] ,
i will move.


hull is good for music, but job situation is crap, no jobs here.


i tried to make a car buisunesss [selling cars to people],
but people here got no money [they can;t even afford the cheap ones!]

hull is shit, no jobs, no money.


i think i will move.


i will try taxi driving, after 1 year, if i dident make any money, i will move away.


john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:09 AM

clinton hamonnd=why do you even bother as well !

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:17 AM

anyway=if you dont want to read my messages, then dont read them then,

this message even said "john from hull",
so if you read it, and got fed up , then its your fault, you musy be stupid!

ie= you see mesages callked john from hull, then you read it, then you get bored and fed up!

thats your fault, dont blame me, =

if i see any thread- clinton hamonnd wwants to see about taxi driving job, =
i will say good luck cliton, or not read it, but you read it, so don;t moan about it.


anyway=if you got no good thinhgsd tp say, then just shut up.


john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:22 AM

Cliton Hamond is rubbish.
[alwaytys moaningf]

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: mack/misophist
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:12 AM

There can be too much, even of a good thing. And when it's not really that good....

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:15 AM

blsr, blar, blar =mack misphisptst can get lost as well
if you dont like my ,messages-dont read them themn.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:41 AM

Go to bed, Sir jOhn.

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:27 AM

here are two dimbulbs who deserve each other.

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: ossonflags
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:32 AM

I think you would make a good taxi driver John.Maybe combine it with your last venture in the curry shop and serve little candle lit suppers in the back of your taxi? More power to you and fuck the begrudgers.

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:49 AM

Thanks for your'e good wishes Mick,
i fed up of working in curry place, i been there 10 years now, probly i would of got less for murder!

and my boss is a ficking dickhead as well, [i think you seen him, [ he's a stupid little midget basterd]

anyway=i playing your CD now, its called Changing Your Trousers or something
[ i can play it loud becouse all my neebours moved away, i sent ome of them a letter Qoute="Dear Bastard next door, don't blooddy putting your rubish in my bin anymore, i pay council tax for my bin, amd not for arseoles like you to put rubbish in it, so jusy wahtch it, next time i see you put any stuff in my bin= i smash your bloddy face in" end qoute.

he moved out the next day, and good ridddance, we don't want people like that around here.

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:56 AM

anyway=he was called Terry before he moved out, [i know this becouse he wrote to me " dear man next doorr, please stop playing loud folk music at crazy hours, yours sincerely Terry"

i wrote back= "dear Terry, kiss my fat arse, all the best.john"


anyway=my mate Mike killed someone, he got 4 years, but only did 2, [it was in the paper about him, he murdered a bloke outside humber pilot pub, but they changed the name after that, its just called pilot now.

anyway=i'm going to skeletons for my breakfust, bye.


john

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: greg stephens
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:58 AM

Perhaps Council Recycling Officer, or Neighbourhood Reconciliation Outreach Adviser, woulld be a more appropriate use of your talents, Sir JOhn?

Subject: RE: BS: jiohnh from hull= taxi dfriver.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 03:04 AM

Heloo greg, i applied for job,
job is Ethnic Minorities Social Inclusion Officer, i told El Ted, he said i have to buy a cardigan, if i get that job.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:27 AM

I think that you should collect all your postings on Mudcat, and publish them, I will start a competition for an apt title with this.

'Who the f99k is Irving Welch?

Giok

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: mooman
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:57 AM

jOhn,

I am now really intrigued about the taxi radio that you have to have in your cat in Hull9...

All the best

Richard

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:00 AM

*yawn*

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:09 AM

I thought that radios with cat's whiskers went out years ago !

Sir jOhn - aren't there any vacancies for Brain Surgeons, or Atomic Physicists up Hull way then ?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Joybell
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:19 AM

Go for it Sir jOhn. Please keep us posted. I like John who used to be Giok's idea. If you do publish may I have a signed copy. Your faithful-fan-down-under Joy

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:20 AM

Any chance you could tow a shed to Farlington with your Taxi
Ta

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:28 AM

There is no L in Fartington Andy.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:28 AM

jOhn

You would have to change your name again but you have a choice:
drive from hull
you been busy from hull
what time do you finish from hull
robin bastard from hull

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: mooman
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:36 AM

To make it easier you could charge those lazy students a standard flat fare of £9 (or a £57 card for six trips).

Richard

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 06:43 AM

Hey, jOhn, I'd be careful with the licence bit if I were you.
It is the driver, NOT the owner of the car, who has to be legal.

Long ago, I had a joke lifetime fishing license that my aunt brought back from the States, 'Legal in all 48 States, US Territories, and Canada, until caught by a game warden, or until the holder comes to his senses....'   Same situation.

Here in Godzone, there are a lot of people making a reasonable living mowing lawns, pruning shrubs, and general gardening. It is fairly cheap to set up the business (compared with most) and self-employment isn't too bad when you get used to it. Just a thought. Cheers.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 07:19 AM

John sorry about the mispelling and thanks to that nice flamencoist for the correction so what are your heavy haulage rates You could call yourself Ull Truck if no one else have thought about it

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Friend of Bill W.
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 07:46 AM

John,

You need to get help. And you need to get it very soon.

There are groups in Hull that will welcome and help you. You have to make a decision, though, that you want to help yourself.

I've been there, my friend, and understand how hopeless you now feel. I also now know that it doesn't have to be that way.

I pray you'll get the help you need.

I am a friend of Bill W. You should become one too.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: s6k
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:16 AM

you show them john!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Jack The Lad
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:22 AM

jOhn, don't move to leeds- leeds is rubbish. i moved from Hull to leeds and ended up in israel- which is very nice but doesn't have any curry ships.
Jack the Lad

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:55 AM

South of Humber this time of night? Nah sorry mate that'll cost you doubl9e.
Giok

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:56 AM

Who is Bill W?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 09:18 AM

Is it thae famous Geordie Bill WhyIman If it wasnt raining I could launch his famous croon Its a a beautiful daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayuh!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 10:00 AM

Helooo, this is music site, noy taxi driver in Hull site,

if you wriote a song about taxi driver in Hull, then ok then, otherewaise shut up.,
i fed up of seeing Hull thghgreads

[if you wroite a song about Hull, then post it here, [otheresie, if not, then shut upp about it.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 10:34 AM

The only thing that puzzles me is why does this man manage to produce a well-written (with good typimg and spelling) and humorous website like this

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:19 PM

But you can have a folk singing taxi driver and don't forget, a taxi driver once won mastermind. I've got a radio you can have in your taxi John my friend. It only needs a new battery, and you can pick up radio 2. I hope that helps you out. Also if you buy one of those little cool boxes that runs off your cigarette lighter socket, you could offer cold drinks to the students and charge them £3.00 a bottle plus tips. I can see it will soon be; Sir jOhn from Hull MBE, taxi driver and millionaire.

If peopel critisize youre spelin till tham to stuf orff. Nobody thought the Wright brothers would be able to fly.Or that the famous man who swum the channel would have the internet named after him.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:35 PM

j0hn9 in pub

John H in studio

Hull is a diverse place.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:57 PM

Here's a better idea John...

Get help for your alcoholism

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST, SickofClit
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 01:58 PM

Can you get help for your arseholity Clit?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:39 PM

When do we get to the punchline?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:40 PM

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer
If j0hn drinks one of those bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer

98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer
If j0hn drinks one of those bottles of beer on the wall
97 bottles of beer

97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer
If j0hn drinks one of those bottles of beer on the wall
96 bottles of beer

etc. etc. until there's no more bottles of beer on the wall. That's when j0hn logs onto Mudcat and starts a thread like this.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,MADD
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 02:42 PM

Seriously, though, who here would get into a car with Sir jOhn From Hull behind the wheel?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 03:15 PM

Oh... hahahahahaha.... Now there's a joke play on my name that I've NEVER seen before... wow guest... you sure are original...

:-|

This whole thread needs to be deleted...

what a waste of electrons

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: s6k
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 03:20 PM

this thread is one of the top 10 i have ever seen. its just the people who moan at it who tarnish it, but they have to intrude somewhere to feel they belong i suppose

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Les from Hull
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 03:54 PM

Well MADD, me for one, done it several times and happy to do it again. jOhn is an excellent (and sober) driver.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:09 PM

Loser

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins so i'm out to cut the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs
spray paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

(yo cut it)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor i'm a loser baby,so why don't you kill me?

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
with the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
the daytime crap with the folksinger slop
he hung himself with a guitar string
slap the turkey neck and it's hangin' on a pigeon wing
you can't write if you can't relate
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
and my time is a piece of wax
fallin' on a termite who's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheeze whiz)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(drive-by body pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
soooooooyy....

(I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel
it)

Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(I can't believe you)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin'?)

-Beck-

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:31 PM

What a cheery little song. Any chance I can get to hear you play it live one of these days, Clinton?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:54 PM

Oh... hahahahahaha.... Now there's a joke play on my name that I've NEVER seen before... wow guest... you sure are original...

You're pulling our collective legs aren't you Clit? Of course you've heard people call you clit before!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:03 PM

Ya think guest?

Maybe it was sarcasm a little bit?

Just maybe...

what a passle of wieners....

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:04 PM

sarcasm? YOU?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,IMHO
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:36 PM

How many in a passle? Is it an old west-Texas town?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 12:06 AM

John - as mentioned in our personal PM's

You have a confirmed hire at the end of July - where shall meet - and how many hamsters would you like for a 30 minute trip?

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

f you have a preference let me know, pink, blue, yellow, punk, gay?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Gurney
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 07:10 AM

Nah, jOhn, don't you do it. Taxi-drivers work nights, they get beaten up and knifed for their takings.....
You be a gardener. Who's going to take on a guy with muscles and carrying a spade.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 10:57 AM

jOhn, whatever you do, keep it legal. You will carry on being screwed by the system unless you play by its rules. All power to you my friend, and thanks for the entertainment. And to think I once accused you of piss-poor syntax!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Mrs Eddie Whatnoll
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 01:26 PM

I 'appen to know for a fact that jOhn's syntax is bloody well impeccable, as is 'is taste in footwear. That jOhn is a credit to 'Ull, 'e is. I only wish 'e would run for public orifice. I would vote for 'im wivout 'esitation.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Turnstile Threadbare
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:42 AM

Oi loik 'im, oi do. jOhn's a roight good lad 'e is.And wot's this tax 'e pays on syn? Mark up on guiff is it?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,TT
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:44 AM

Sorry. Got me g mixed wif me q. Should be quiff.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 12:51 PM

Now that's an idea! Run for local politics. You'd be a lot better than many in office John. We could have a Cllr John MBE (Taxi driver and bar)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: KJ
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 01:43 PM

jOhn, what about your donkey? How u going to look after it if your driving a taxi? Will it not miss its diet of curries?CT.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:45 AM

Listen John.......If you opt for the taxi gig and see a whore that looks like Jodie Foster, leave her alone...I mean completely alone!!! That'd be my advice anyway.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: bengi
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:50 AM

You protecting your girls, catspaw49?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: mcgrathof altcar
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 08:32 AM

Did you get my PM to you jOhn?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,BIG ANDY
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:14 AM

I fired a cannon at Hull once and it made £15 of improvements

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:15 PM

...best laugh from print I've had in a while. jOhn is a genius...I would be honored to have a note from jOhn that began "Dear Bastard next door..." Seriously, consider the idea of collecting your posts and publishing them...it would be more practical and less stressful than driving a hack....

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 12:15 AM

Take the JOB - a quid in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Most of the Hull-Taxi night business is "college" hooker students....they tip well....and like a steady man for backup.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 05:43 AM

jOhn you could maybe do a job share with the curry ship, deliver humans and curries, not necessarily at the same time.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:15 AM

jOhn, you may also want to consider doing a "job swop" for a while to America, all part of your career development opportunities. Make up your own mind after reading the following quote from a possible future American taxi colleague.

"Hey I'm just a regular man, nothing special. I can't stand dummies, perverts,idiots, and morons. Especially crack idiots, and yo yos. I just want to drive and arrive alive. I have a right to have a good day, and so do you. Try driving cabs my way. I drove for another cab co and my first year I disarmed 3 knives, 2 guns, 3 windshields, and a back glass, put a few people in the hospital and I had to go there too. I only got robbed 1 time.
All of this changes you. It makes you want to run clientel instead. Get a cell phone, and take care of those who want to ride with you, and a whole new world emerges. Believe me, riding around laughing and joking and talking with your friends. There's no better way to make money. Now I have my own company, a good wife, and 6 wonderful children. And have no problems if my wife wants to drive.
Love and friends is the way to go.
Peace be with you!"
Scott brown
all american taxi
538 e. Mercury blvd.
Hampton, va. 23663
(757)-265-9999

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:28 AM

BLOODY HELL!!!! i just clicked onto the photo of jOhn in Bill D's post somewhere up above, and sure enough, there is jOhn playing his fiddle. BUT, sat next to him is Penny, my current beloved! Is there something I should know jOhn? Has she transfered her affections to your good self?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:37 AM

The answer is yes Ted, and they are eloping to America as soon as jOhn can get through quarantine and purchase a big yellow taxi...a sort of curry yellow

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 11:08 AM

It's not John's knee Penny's got her hand on though. Seems to me John's not the one you need to be worried about...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 04:19 PM

Come on over to us jOhn you will be very welcome

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 11:12 PM

heloo, its not me waht Penny [Mrs Ted] is feeling up, its another bloke, so dont bloddy blaming me then.

anyway= i thinking of bean a truck driver as well, becouse i know one bloke called jOhnnOrfolk, and he got a truck driving bisniss, and i worked fpor im before, and you can drive big truck, and go to scot land, and get over night money, and sleep in the truck and keep it, [ie keep the money] [i think its about 30 quid, but that was a few yeerwss ago, so it might be more now].

any way= good thing about truck driver job= no pissed up arse holoes beeen sick etc in yoiure taxi, becouse its not a taxi, its a truck, and you dont taking no passingers. [anbd serves them right!]

i think Erik the Vicking been a truck driver as well, [i talked to him in wales, but i was pissed, so i cant rember waht he said, but i thgink he bean a truck driver]

anbyway=if you a truck driver, you can get big brekfusts, like fryied bread etc, [and tomaotoes and things like that]
my frend called Fat Pat was a truck driver, but he got disabeld, he got a bad back, and now he got a free car, becouse he is too fat too work.]

[iyts called disabeld benefit [fat bloke benefit]
[if you get relly fat, you can get goverment benefits]


i;m going to finfd out about this.john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:21 AM

anywaty=i think i spelled tomar toes wrong, but i;m not botherd this is music [and taxi driver etc] site, not spelllingf site,
some people like to showing off whith there spelling [look at me, i can spelling etc], they think they bloody great, but they not, they rubbish]

you think spelling is importunt?
it isent!
truck driving is importanyt=i explane why=

everetything in your house, and evertyinhg you eat, has been on a truck, so=
if there was no drivers, you woud starve to death, and have no telly, so just think about it,...
and wehn you see any truck drivers, you shoud say thank you to them, becouse you would be right in thr shit without them, so just think about it.

office people are rubbish,they just sit in therer office and fart all day, and the drivers etc do all the work, but office people think they bloddy great, just becouse they good at spelling [wankers].

and anyway# if ypou go to hospitul for operation, do you think the operation bloke is good at spelling?
no=well then.

you coud go to heart by pass place and say " is that heart docotr good at spelling, and if they say no, waht you going to do then?, probly die, thats waht!


[taxi driver and truck driverr don;t neeed to be good at spelling.


and tyhanks LEs , for saying good things about my driving, [les and maggie been in my car, ands loads of hull people]


and I am Class 3 Advanced Driver, and i droved loads of miles,
and i only had 2 acccidents in my life, and they was not my fault
1=i was pissed
and 2 i dident have my glassis on, and dident see the other car.


and i drove oveer 500,000 miles, and tyhats the only acciddents i had.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:27 AM

anyway=only reeson i dident have my glassies on= i dident were glasses at that time, i only started to wear glasses after i crashed.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 04:18 AM

Actually, I now realise that the knee in question is mine! I had forgotten that Sorcha took that photo in the glorious Adelphi Club. Panic over.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 04:40 AM

Sir jOhn, you'd be wasted as a taxi-driver. You should be Writer-in Residence at Hull University, teaching Creative Writing classes. Your unique style (James Joyce meets nigel moelesworth meets Johnny Vegas) needs to be preserved for the nation.

RtS
(Is it a coincidence that MPs want to abolish knighthoods now jOhn's awarded himself one?)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: s6k
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 06:15 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHA. it gives me much joy to come on here and read j0hns post. a genius in the making...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:21 PM

You are right JoHn I have been a delivery driver in one of my other lives. I've been lots of things. Truck driving is fun. And, you are also right about the lower importance of spelling. Spelling is only recent compared to language which is our first form of communication. Much spelling has been foisted upon us by the ruling classes or accademics who wouldn't know how to drive a truck or mend a burst pipe.( You are also quite right about the middle and upper classes who feel and act as though they are superior to the working/lower classes)The same goes for grammar. The English, pronounciation is only recent, last 150 years or so ("BBC" and Queen type)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Paul from Hull sans biscuit
Date: 15 Jul 04 - 05:40 AM

Sir jOhn, you mean all that time I spent learning to spell was WASTED?

ASRE!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:23 AM

heloo, i been thinking about this a bit more=
if you driver for meet pie company, you can eat loads of meet pies, just tell them that you dropped them!

[and cakes as well, [if you work fore cake compoany]

i going to ring up some meetpie and cake places, see if they want any drivers.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:56 AM

Did'nt tony and twojags tell you Eric that we are living in a classless society?

No class, just more fat rich bastards getting richer whilst the rest of us poor fucking wage slaves get poorer.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:59 AM

I reckon Eric would be nackered if it was a classless society, [he;s a scool teecher]!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 02:00 AM

LOL That last post of yours, jOhn, did me in. Good thing I'm sitting here alone- my HA!! would have scared anyone nearby our of his socks, it would.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 05:42 AM

jOhn you are in a class of your own

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sweetfia
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:39 AM

Well i'm proud to say I know you jOhn!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 11:37 AM

John, in the west end of London the latest thing seems to be pedal-powered rickshaw-like taxis. Why don't you get one and pioneer the idea in 'Ull ?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:50 PM

Truck driving man


I stoped at a roadhouse in Texas
A little place called Humberger Inn
I heard that old pike boxi morning
A true called Truck driving man
The waitress then brought me some caffee
I thanked her but called her again
I said this old song sure does hit me
'Cause I am a truck driving man



    Pour me another cup of caffee
    For it is the best in the land
    I'll put a quarter in the jukebox
    And play the truck driving man



I climbed back aboard my old diesel
And true like a flash I was gone
I got them big truck wheels to rollin'
Now I'm on my way to SunAnton
When I get my call up Glory
And then take me away from this land
I'll cry my truck up to heaven
'Cause, I'm truck driving man

* Refrain

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Blowzabella
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:56 PM

jOhn - you really are a gem!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM

Now that you are Sir jOhn, are you too good to join us in the chat room?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:59 PM

So good in fact that next time I'm at the footie I'm gonna hang up a sign that says jOhn 16:1:59 in honour of the time it got posted.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:03 PM

Truck Drivin' Song"

I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

My diesel rig is northward bound
It's time to put that hammer down
Just watchin' as the miles go flyin' by
I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel
But it's sure hard to hold the wheel
While I'm waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight
I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight
Lord, don't let my mascara run tonight

Because I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Smokey's on my tail and my accelerator's stuck
Got these eighteen wheels-a-rollin' until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don't bother me too much
But when I hit those big speed bumps
My darling little rhinestone pumps
Keep slippin' off the mother-lovin' clutch

But still I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Headin' down the interstate, just tryin' to make a buck
Wearin' feather boas with sequins and chiffon
While I'm drivin' a truck with my high heels on

I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a truck
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck
And I'm late for my appointment down at my hair salon
So I'll be drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:08 PM

I 'spose spelling is important if you want to write lyrics like these.But if you are well off, you can get a secretary to write them for you.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:13 PM

BigPinkLad,
If I had a Bible handy, it would be worth looking up jOhn 16:1:59 to see what it says!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 08:29 AM

Viking, my secretary just translated and explained your 'trucker argot' and I must say it is jolly good. How refreshing to hear a whole lyric from your pen that doesn't involve sheep.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 10:14 AM

What's a "footie"?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 10:27 AM

jOhn, my love, I am counting on you, in fact, America is counting on you to unite the taxi drivers and long haul truckers of the UK behind Mrs. Fillmore. Launch her into toydom and show America you care.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 07:49 PM

Shit. Just missed the 1ooth post an' I've been waiting ages. Ah well.

Footie is football.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 08:02 PM

jOhn 16:1:
"These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended."

Don't know quite what to do about the 59.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,again
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 09:10 PM

Thanks SINSULL....

...& how apt it was!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 07:31 AM

Alas dear friends. I can not claim authorship of the afore mentioned lyrics. They were written by someone else. In my haste I forgot to add their names. The later was by Weird Al, the former was by; (Some clever person will tell you)But they seemed apt. Fear not, I'm sure there is a Welsh song about taxi drivers and sheep written by some baaaaarrrrrd.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:31 AM

gargoyle-meet at The Adelphi, [or at 35 Chanterlands Ave].

Subject: Lyr Add: TRUCKIN' (Grateful Dead)
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 02:38 PM

Congratulations on the gong, jOhn, even if it was self-awarded and all the best in your new venture(s).

"Truckin'"
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Garcia, Lesh, Weir
Copyright Ice Nine Publishing.


Truckin' - got my chips cashed in
Keep Truckin - like the doodah man
Together - more or less in line
Just keep Truckin on

Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street
Chicago, New York, Detroit it's all on the same street
Your typical city involved in a typical daydream
Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings

Dallas - got a soft machine
Houston - too close to New Orleans
New York - got the ways and means
but just won't let you be

Most of the cats you meet on the street speak of True Love
Most of the time they're sittin and cryin at home
One of these days they know they gotta get goin
out of the door and down to the street all alone

Truckin - like the doodah man
once told me you got to play your hand
sometime - the cards ain't worth a dime
if you don't lay em down

Sometimes the light's all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it's been

What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same
Living on reds, vitamin C and cocaine
all a friend can say is "ain't it a shame"

Truckin' -- up to Buffalo
Been thinkin - you got to mellow slow
Takes time - you pick a place to go
and just keep Truckin on

Sitting and staring out of a hotel window
Got a tip they're gonna kick the door in again
I'd like to get some sleep before I travel
but if you got a warrant I guess you're gonna come in

Busted - down on Bourbon Street
Set up - like a bowling pin
Knocked down - it gets to wearing thin
They just won't let you be

You're sick of hanging around and you'd like to travel
Tired of travel, you want to settle down
I guess they can't revoke your soul for trying
Get out of the door - light out and look all around

Sometimes the light's all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
what a long strange trip it's been

Truckin - I'm goin home
Whoa-oh baby, back where I belong
Back home - sit down and patch my bones
and get back Truckin on

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 11:17 PM

Helloo, i just tried for a job in a fish finger factory [i writed to them, but i dident get an inter view yet],
[its called Ross Youngs],
so if you knoe any people waht work there, tell them to give me a job, becase i really fed up of curry ship job, and fish fingers are good for you.john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:43 AM

I hired a cab to take me from confusion to the plane
And though we shared a common place I know we'll never meet again
The driver with his eyebrows furrowed in the rear-view mirror
His name was clear for all to see, his name was Nathan La Frenier

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Cokie
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 11:04 AM

owthcabdrivinbeenthen£

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 11:43 AM

Giok:

That poem is an artform of studied irrelevancies concatenated.

A

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:05 PM

FERESH!

I left the curry ship [bunch of bastards they are!]
I'm at "50" Taxis in Hull, telly phone number is 50 50 50.

ps= too any one moaning about me, or slagging me off= come round ere and say that then, ye basterds!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:49 PM

jOhn, I need a taxi on Monday night. Can you recommend one?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:14 PM

What happened to the rast catching job? I had visions of you in green tights with a pied jacket and a flute. The stuff dreams are made of...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:40 PM

Congratulations, jOhn. Are you going to Whitby Folk Festival this year?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:57 PM

I use them on Wednesdays John so hope to see you!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Chisel
Date: 22 May 05 - 02:43 AM

maybe none rats left in Ull

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST, puss
Date: 22 May 05 - 03:31 AM

I blame that pied piper - putting us cats out of a job ...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Jul 05 - 08:03 PM

heloo, i been at taxi place for a few weeks now, i had a few famous customers already, like Linda Kelly, and Les and Maggy [Les from hull and his woman [called Maggy], job is going ok.