Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?

Zhenya 19 Jul 04 - 05:15 PM
TheBigPinkLad 19 Jul 04 - 05:19 PM
Once Famous 19 Jul 04 - 05:25 PM
Wesley S 19 Jul 04 - 05:36 PM
open mike 19 Jul 04 - 05:44 PM
Peace 19 Jul 04 - 05:46 PM
Amos 19 Jul 04 - 05:51 PM
kendall 19 Jul 04 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 04 - 06:37 PM
Uncle_DaveO 19 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM
GUEST,Peter from Essex 19 Jul 04 - 07:05 PM
Zany Mouse 19 Jul 04 - 07:58 PM
Seamus Kennedy 20 Jul 04 - 02:36 AM
semi-submersible 20 Jul 04 - 05:04 AM
mooman 20 Jul 04 - 06:24 AM
JennyO 20 Jul 04 - 09:57 AM
GUEST,leeneia 20 Jul 04 - 10:19 AM
freda underhill 20 Jul 04 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,Larry K 20 Jul 04 - 03:02 PM
Uncle_DaveO 20 Jul 04 - 03:21 PM
Zhenya 20 Jul 04 - 03:41 PM
open mike 20 Jul 04 - 03:59 PM
DougR 20 Jul 04 - 04:17 PM
GUEST,saulgoldie 20 Jul 04 - 09:08 PM
Zhenya 21 Jul 04 - 05:12 PM
maire-aine 21 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM
DougR 21 Jul 04 - 07:49 PM
Zhenya 22 Jul 04 - 01:15 PM
TheBigPinkLad 22 Jul 04 - 01:28 PM
GUEST,petr. 22 Jul 04 - 08:46 PM

Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:





Subject: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Zhenya
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:15 PM

When you get an invitation, do you respond, whether or not you're going? I've noticed that many people don't. (Has happened to myself as well as to friends.) To me, it seems the courteous thing to let someone know as soon as you know your plans, even if you have to say no. Am I expecting too much here? Does it matter whether you invited them by e-mail, on paper, or spoke to them by phone or in person? Is it just hard for some people to say no, so they'd rather avoid the issue altogether?

I'm curious: What do you do when you're the one getting the invitation, and how do you feel if you're the one doing the inviting and people don't respond?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:19 PM

I always respond to people I know and/or like. Others ... not necessarily.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Once Famous
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:25 PM

Yep, depends who is doing the inviting.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Wesley S
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:36 PM

We RSVP. But it seems like a lot of people don't - it's as if they're holding out for a better offer.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: open mike
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:44 PM

maybe it would suffice to attach an R.S.V.P. to the invite
then people would know that that is what you want.
it stands for respond, if you please in french.
Responde si vous ple ...or something like that..
myabe those who don't respond, don't please..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:46 PM

If ya want a response, include a stamped and addressed envelope or a phone number. If they don't RSVP, don't invite 'em again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:51 PM

That's "Respondez, s'il vous plait".

And it's simply the courteous thing to do.

How would you feel if you were planning a large gathering and half the people didn't tell you whether they were coming or not until they showed up?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: kendall
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:56 PM

Always.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 06:37 PM

Yes. Unless it's obviously a profit-making scheme of some sort.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM

What Rapaire so eloquently said.

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: GUEST,Peter from Essex
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:05 PM

If it is a private invitation then always. If it is a commercial organisation then only if I am accepting.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:58 PM

Always. My mother would come back to haunt me if I didn't!!!

Rhiannon


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 02:36 AM

Always. But I prefer VSOP.

Seamus


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: semi-submersible
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 05:04 AM

I always intend to. If there's a phone number included, I'm a lot more likely to succeed.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: mooman
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 06:24 AM

Always. It's a matter of courtesy.

Peace

moo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 09:57 AM

Strange thing I have noticed is that when I invite a bunch of people, the ones who can't come reply to say they can't, complete with excuse, and very few of the ones who can come bother to reply - they just turn up. Maybe they assume I am expecting them anyway. Anyone else notice this? I wish they would though, as it makes it hard to know how many to plan for.

Jenny


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 10:19 AM

This touches on one of the real problems of our time. So many people have never given a party that they have no idea what the hostess is going through.

A related problem is the relatives who cannot be bothered with the little courtesies that keep a relationship alive - such as answering an e-mail, sending a Christmas card, saying thank you for a gift. They don't realize that relationships can wither away.

I am thinking of having a bumpersticker made that simply says "Respond."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: freda underhill
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 10:30 AM

I have sessions at my place occasionally, and dont expect an RSVP for these, i just send out an email message and whoever comes knows to bring something.

But if its a dinner I ask people to respond, in order to plan how much to cook.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 03:02 PM

It is amazing to me how many people do not respond- even when it is a formal invitation with a stamped response card.   In talking to other people and comparing notes it seem that about 30% of people do not respond.   The last two weeks before an occation you spend tracking people down and trying to get an answer from them.   

Sometimes it seems like they are waiting for a better answer.   Sometimes they can't make up their mind. Often they are just too lazy or don't want to tell you no.    When you have a formal occation and need to give a caterer a number which you are paying for it is real annoying.

Some people say when they don't respond you should assume it is no.   Others say when they don't respond you should assume it is yes.   I agree with the above comment. If they don't have the courtesy to respond, don't invite them again.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 03:21 PM

I have what I think is an explanation for the negative-only RSVPers:

Ignorance. In this day and age, I think a lot of people don't really understand "RSVP", and think it only means "Let us know if you can't come."

Dave Oesterreich


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Zhenya
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 03:41 PM

Thanks for some great answers! I was beginning to think this was just me being too picky. But I can see it bothers other people too.

I'm not even talking only about parties or other more "formal" occasions here, although as the party-giver, you certainly need to know how many people to expect. But even smaller invitations, or mutual plans with someone.

I've had a few recent situations where a person's delay caused an adverse situation - and then they complained about the outcome! (In one case, we got really bad concert seats because the person didn't let me know timely they wanted to go, and then they complained about the seats. In another, when making plans for a trip where a motel room was needed, a friend didn't get back to me timely, so that when I finally made reservations, there were only smoking rooms left. She then complained "Well, I really would have preferred a non-smoking room." Etc., you get the gist.

What really gets me is, especially with e-mail, it would only take about 30 seconds, or less, to simply send a message "Sorry I can't make it." or "Yes, I'll be there." or even "Maybe. Let me check my schedule and get back to you by Tuesday."

By the way, I have tried using a deadline. Some people respond to that, others don't. But at least I feel like less of a nag when I make the follow-up call after the deadline.

I found it interesting that the responses here came mostly from people who are frustrated by non-responders. I guess most people who don't bother to RSVP wouldn't even respond to a thread like this!

Zhenya


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: open mike
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 03:59 PM

what's VSOP?
U suspect it is a type of whiskey?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: DougR
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 04:17 PM

Yes I do. I got an invitation to a wedding recently in North Carolina that I didn't even know. We just share a last name. I did respond that I wouldn't be attending though.

DougR

P. S. I didn't send a gift either.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 09:08 PM

VSOP is a brandy.

I think the lack of RSVPing is part of a rising general lack of concern for the feelings of others. I'll not thread drift by giving my notions of where this comes from.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Zhenya
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 05:12 PM

Or at least a lack of a sense of need for social courtesies. I don't really find my non-RSVPing friends to be selfish or insensitive to others in general. But they really don't seem to feel the need for this type of "social glue" - sort of what leeneia mentioned above. I'm not really sure why.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: maire-aine
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 05:33 PM

Ouch! Sore point with me. I usually have folks over a couple times a year, and invite folks by email. Most folks tell me if they can't come right away. But an awful lot don't. I've had between 8 and 30 folks show up at various events, off of the same invite list. Yikes!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: DougR
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 07:49 PM

Zhenia: if you feel that way, why did you start this thread?

DougR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: Zhenya
Date: 22 Jul 04 - 01:15 PM

DougR,
I think I was expecting more answers from non-responders explaining why they didn't feel it was necessary to respond. I guess I was trying to get into the head of this type of person and figure out why a normally courteous person would feel this (RSVPing) wasn't a necessary thing to do.
Zhenya


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 22 Jul 04 - 01:28 PM

Wow. It isn't a neccessary thing to do. You make this sound like people who don't respond are bad somehow. It might be inconvenient for you, but it certainly doen't make them bad. I organize tons of gatherings and I would never rely on an RSVP request. If it's important, you need a follow-up contingency.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: Do you R.S.V.P.?
From: GUEST,petr.
Date: 22 Jul 04 - 08:46 PM

depends.. on the occasion if its a wedding there is often a cost to the host, it is courteous to respond. I had couple people not show up at my wedding who said they would, it would have saved me a few hundred bucks each if they told me ahead of time.

if its just a bbq or a party, and youre not feeding people, then its not that important. I usually let them surprise me.

With email invites, I find people sometimes only half register them
Ive had people forget it and ask, oh yeah when is that?
(even though they can easily look it up) ...

in general though, if there are people who dont respond, and dont show up, I dont bother inviting them in the future.
p


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate


 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 8 March 9:13 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.