BS: Help me write a personal ad

Subject: BS: What attracts a man?
From: GUEST,Confused
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 11:04 AM

Three profiles on three different sites and not one response. What do men want to hear? Help me write a sure winner.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 11:07 AM

What do you want to tell them? What outcome do you desire?

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 11:54 AM

Men aren't all looking for the same thing....*sigh*...whatever you say, it better be true and representative of YOU. Men who look on 'profile sites' may be looking for the wrong thing, anyway.

It can be easy to write a good profile that will get responses, but not necessarily easy to live up to them.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 11:56 AM

Geeze, help the Guest out, OK?

Try this:

Men: I have what you want. Come alone. FMI Contact: xxxxxxx.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 12:02 PM

I tried personal ads when I lived in NYC and got numerous responses, unfortunately all still bitter about ancient divorces or certifiably insane. Have a friend introduce you to a friend.

If personals are your only option, once you get a hit, meet him in a public place, don't let him know where you live, and tell a friend where you are going.

My "successful" lead in was "Shapely lady..." Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Peace
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 02:41 PM

Confused,

Why don't you start by putting one of the ads here. Omit your 'data'. Maybe some people could help you take it from there.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 03:50 PM

Well now I am not typical but I say ---- if you want a thinker try putting together a short pithy aliterative message using only "S" (eg but some letters work better than others). You could try in rhyme - a limerick would get the humorous kind of person. Raunchy would work but would you want the kinda moths it attracts? It can be effective but needs more care. Positive words, no negatives. Say what you want and what you offer (but keep it short). Try two different approaches as different people - eg Margaret & Maggie

At the end of the day you have to be true to yourself or sustain the personna lest the respondant will be looking for more falsehoods. As Bill D said.

In my limited experience - personal ads, e-contacts and other remote contacts do not give you that intuitive view that comes from an "eyeball". AND there is far, far more fickleness because they are doing a peppershot approach too and there is little cost in trying iffy decisions - and dropping them without notice or thanks. It shouldnt stop anything but it does need to be in the back of your mind - for your own self-image.

FWIW I bumped into a friend who was about to meet a "target". I thought it was a hoot to wait and walk past and from behind him give a simple verdict. Not sure it helped her - she was active enough as it was.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 03:58 PM

Okay. If you, like, want to hook up with a real hot dude (like me) then...

Lemme think.

Okay. Try something\ like this eh?

"Majorly stacked and TOTALLY HOT BABE is looking for similarly majorly HOT DUDE for fun and good times. I will have a hot pizza and a case of cold beers ready when you arrive. I will be scanttily dressed and ready for ACTION!"

My guess is that you will, like, be overwelhmed by the response, eh? Then you get to choose the guy you like best. What a deal, eh? Do it! Post your number. If I live within 20 or 30 miles of you, I will be there quicker than a crow shits! Count on it.

BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 04:34 PM

there ya' go! *grin*...see how easy it is?

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 05:05 PM

I have avoided this forum for a long time, having had better things to do with my time than navigate through a Sargasso Sea of idiocy and vulgarity combined with unfounded attacks on my personal reputation and honour. However, I feel compelled to address the person who started this thread with a word or two of urgent advice.

Don't run a "personals" ad at all! There are a great many scoundrels and very disturbed men out there scanning such ads, looking for their next victim. Don't let that victim be you!

I have no idea where you live or in what circumstances, but what I would advise is that you seek out decent companionship through the normal social avenues of contacts through friends and family, as well as meeting people in social clubs of a good sort, such as the polo club or the local golf club. One can also meet people of an excellent class by attending the better plays, operas, and orchestral concerts, and mingling in the "green room" or its equivalent during intermission.

The trouble with a personals ad is simply this: you have NO idea who is reading it! You could end up meeting some subhuman like the self-titled "Blind Drunk" moron above, or someone even worse! Jack the Ripper may well have met his victims by using personals ads. Think of that.

I shudder at the danger you are placing yourself in.

One more piece of advice, if you persist in pursuing this reckless course: Carry a small pistol, a large hatpin, and a can of mace. You may need all three of them.

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 05:08 PM

Man wanted!      sorry not by me but by a Guest...any takers?
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Helen
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 06:16 PM

Been there, done the personal ads thing. It is good conversational practice and that is about it.

I met a few nice blokes, and a few jerks. I always met them at a Club where they had to sign in and where there is a good amount of security and the expectation is of good behaviour. Safety is very important, and telling someone info in case of emergencies is really important. (I heard about a new mobile phone text message system starting up somewhere where you can write a text message with details of the meeting place & time, but it only gets sent if you haven't cancelled the message within a certain number of hours. That way if something happens to you someone knows about your date but they can't come and annoy you when you are trying to get to know the person.)

And Hyacinth Bucket (22 Aug 04 - 05:05 PM) has what I found out to be the best course of action: join a club or social group with people who are interested in the same things as you, hobbies, sports, whatever. You are more likely to naturally and easily fall into conversation with people, and you will have a common interest which helps keep up the momentum.

An excellent book - I cannot recommend it too highly - is called Searching for Courtship, by Dr Winnifred Cutler. She has a system of meeting people and going through the stages of courtship which was a total revelation for me. I have lent the book to so many of my friends and it has worked for a lot of them as well. I have to tell you that Cutler's book is considered a bit controversial because it is based on anthropology and not modern philosophies, but it works. So read it with an open mind.

Good luck,
Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:00 PM

.... it's BoooQue-e-e-e-e-t!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Happy Ad Answerer
Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:59 PM

Rather than placing adverts, 'Guest Confused', I wonder if you have ever considered answering an advert from your local newspaper ? I used to occasionally look at these ads for the amusement of reading between the lines for what these people were after and what their priorities in life were - usually pretty obvious - but now and again you see a plain, straightforward one, where a man's priority is not to request a slim and/or blonde woman 10 years younger than the age he professes to be. A lot of these adverts also have a recorded voice message by the person placing the ad, that you can reply to (although they charge for this, so you do need to read the small print at the bottom of the page). Of course you have to be careful and not give away any personal details or meet anyone before you feel ready to. 'Gut' feeling and instinct count for a lot.

I may sound as though I have gone in for this a lot - but in fact not. I have not needed to ! I met a lovely man this way, the first time either of us had ever done anything like this, and we are both very happy and looking forward to our future together. What made his advert leap out from the page at me (I wasn't actively "looking") was that it was plain and simple: "Professional musician seeks honest, caring female for friendship and maybe more". He was looking for someone around the same age as himself and there was no mention about height, looks etc. His recorded voice message was equally straightforward, he sounded like someone who didn't take himself too seriously and a gut feeling told me "this is one of the good guys". I left him a message, we talked at length on the phone a couple of times and even before we had met face to face, we both knew it was going to be good, and it has just gone on getting better.

From my experience as a happy advert answerer, I would say: keep your advert straightforward; avoid physical descriptions (unless you really want a partner who cares mostly about what you look like, rather than who you are as a person); be honest about your age and realistic about the age of the person you are seeking; most definitely state your interests/field of work. It was the fact that my partner's ad began with "Professional Musician" that got me to notice it in the first place.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 01:43 AM

Single girl/Rich widow with own pub?

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Gervase
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:55 AM

Happy ad answerer has some sage advice there. I met my now wife through a personal ad that I had posted. She admitted that she'd responded because it made her laugh and struck a few chords with her. I do remember that it was hellish long, providing plenty of information and not a few rants.
If you want to post your own ad, make sure it gives a true picture of yourself. Why not ask a friend to give a frank but pithy appraisal of what he or she thinks is good about you and use that as a basis. The physical attributes aren't really that important - it's the brain that does the most work in establishing a good relationship, not the eyes or the loins. Don't be afraid to have opinions - if you feel strongly about something, you'd hope that a potential partner would at least have some strong views on the subject.
But above all (and this is maybe the hardest thing to get right), try to give a flavour of your wit and humour. And, whatever you do, don't come across as desperate or unlucky in love!
Good luck!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Limerick mode - eg only - please do not resp
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:00 AM

Humorous lass of xx (ish) years
Seeks caring one of her masculine peers
to share minds and more
plus maybe folklore
With a view to to becoming each others' dears.


All together Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:57 PM

Hot dude lookin' for cool babe for warm time.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: kendall
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:36 PM

You should know exactly what you are looking for, otherwise, you will not get it.
I'm afraid most men go by what they see, so, mention that you weigh less than your ex husbands truck. That will tell them you are single,and have a sense of humor.
Vitally important:
Talk on the phone, make sure he is employed, not living with mother, likes cats, can speak in whole sentences.
If you scare him off because you appear to be too intelligent, screw him, you havn't lost a damn thing.
I've met a hundred women through the ads, and finally gave up. That's when it happened, and I have met my future wife. Details to be revealed at the Getaway.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 10:30 PM

Ooooooo! Do tell, Kendall!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 11:07 PM

Well, if yer gonna geta response froma personal then Blind Drunk has the formula, however...

...personals are the only game in town. Networking in yer community will get ya a lot further. I got a buddy who is so lonely that I really feel for the guy. He asks me what to do to meet women. I say, got the church.

Well, he's been going to a large church for the last 6 months and hasn't met one eligible woman so I ask him if he's reading the church bulletin to which he says, "No"... Well that's what I mean about networking. Chances of meeting someone in church is slim but when one starts to get involved in the other church related activities, the opportunities suddenly open up.

Now I don't know if you attend church or temple or, or, or if you evan have Faith but I'd certainly advise throwing church ativities into the mix of things you are allready doing...

Remmber: networking...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: mg
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 12:18 AM

Well shoot, you have to ask me first!!!

mg

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 01:44 AM

From reading lots of personals ads, I can say what NOT to put in there. Don't say you like long, moonlit walks on the beach, cuddling in front of a cozy fire with a glass of wine, or making love in the rain, even if you do. That only reveals that you've read too many romance novels.

Lead with your brain and not with your breasts. If you are clever, funny, witty....I think you will get more favorable responses. If you can provide a unique perspective that makes your ad stand out from all the prefabricated copy, you will attract the kind of companion you are seeking, unless of course, you just want a roll in the hay - and if that's all you want, then you don't need to place a personal ad. Just walk into a bar wearing some tight clothing, and...well, you know the rest.

A woman whose ad caught my attention described herself in terms of computer lingo: fast processor, great microchips, etc. It worked well because it was different from the "my friends say I'm attractive and fun to be around" descriptions.

Lots of people disparage on-line dating, but I think it's the wave of the future. If nothing else, it's a convenient way to meet a lot of people, before meeting a lot of people.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 08:05 AM

I still say remote contact is missing the eyeballs. With that firmly held you can cope with the fickleness, the loons, and the dissapointments. But Guest has it right - you have to have an angle - and that starts from you. Guest has it again when he decries "my friends say" - say it for yourself. Men are attracted by women who are at ease with their self image, (well I am). If you sound like a weak wimp then you will attract the control freaks and maybe those who are not that good at it. Come-on too strong and nice guys run. The middle ground is not wimpish unless you make it so.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 08:11 AM

SRS All in due time my pretty. hehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 10:51 AM

so, now you all have another reason to drag your lazy selves to the Getaway! (I already know , but I ain't tellin')

for what it's worth, I met MY wife by NOT writing ads and NOT going on blind dates ...but by going to places & events that I liked...as in folk festivals and sings. Then an introduction by a friend and a few conversations and magic ensued.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:40 AM

As others said- be yourself, be clever and witty, be honest.   I ran one personal add in New York Magazine. I used the headline "A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but so is $20 a line".   I got about 80-100 responses.   Many were very attrctive with high powered carreers.   I went out with about 15 of them.    Most crazy neurotic New Yorkers, but I needed that to get it out of my system.   I met my wife soon after that.   

My favoite personal ad of all time was from the Boston alternative Real paper. It said "I love midnight rides in police cars, Burnt flesh offernings.   Sandwhiches with real sand.....I am looking for a relationship.   No weirdos freaks or phonies please"   I would have loved to see the responses she got.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 03:26 PM

After a couple of goes at introducing women to Folk and having them tire (of it anfd me) I vowed to ignore all non-folkies. At a Cajun dance I met a lass who struck a chord. She discovered ceilidhs and we go every week if possible, now I am "Jumping with Joy". There were other possible candidates but this time other things were right and BINGO.

At social events with visual contact, it is so so much easier to assess if you are going to click. And you already have the common interest - as long as the other party is not just there to see and be seen.

I guess you would say I gave-up on remote contacts. One insisted on seeing me to the car as I went home - she was assessing my potential spending profligacy and equating it to income and "car" was the arbiter. At the time she couldn't have been more wrong. For that I thank her. But there was no hint of cynicism in her writings.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 03:40 PM

Kendall proposed to the llama?

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 04:54 PM

Ha! I bet I know who kendall's talking about. Nice going, kendall!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 07:38 PM

At the right time, we will tell all. Well, most all.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM

About 20 years ago I wrote a personal ad in which I compared myself to a car. It went something like this:

1934 Male
All original, no worn parts
Smokes a bit but can be stopped,
Ready for the short trip or the long haul.
I got over 50 letters. And I've seen copycat ads since.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:23 PM

I figured it out. Didn't take long, and there had been an inkling of an idea to work from for a while now. Make your announcement when you're ready. Congratulations!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Confused...still
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:27 PM

Update:
I was stalked in the Personals and flamed. Accused of being a blond. He was not a nice man. Why would anyone go on a Personals sight to hurt women?
But also met two maybe three likely candidates.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:54 PM

'Accused of being a blonde'...how rude!
I think meeting guys first, THEN deciding who you want to date is much better than the other way around. Not that I have much recent experience, but I don't think I'd ever do a personals ad. I've heard the creative ones get more attention - like kendall's. People are interested in finding out who's behind them.

29 year-old stacked blonde heiress looking for a good time and someone to drive my Porsche. Applicants must have a sense of humor and be willing to take a joke.

or

What's the difference between me and the woman of your dreams? Probably everything. Answer me anyway.

Seriously, be creatively honest, a la kendall, and realize you'll still probably get a haystack of 'no WAYs' before you find the needle of your dreams, if you ever do. Try to picture the guy you want to meet reading the personal ads. If you can't, find something you love to do socially, and get to know some guys.

And REALLY seriously, almost everyone I've ever known who's met the partner they want to spend there lives with AND had it work out, has done it when they weren't trying.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Jeri
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:02 PM

Oh, and kendall, you could always GET hitched at the Getaway. Dan Schatz is a minister and there are built-in guests, band and reception. You could always do it again later. Of course, paperwork may be a hassle and you might have other details to work out. In any case, I'm very happy for you - I've met the bride.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Loveless in Logansport
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:05 PM

Desperate 25 time loser in romantic relationships seeks ideal female partner with perfect body and loving nature to pursue mutual bliss objectives and secure a higher rate of return on our combined emotional investments, ensuring dividends that will mature as the years go by and provide us with equity beyond our wildest dreams. You must be good with tupperware and know how to repair socks. You must think that accounting is a very exciting and meaningful profession with heroic overtones. No New Agers, please!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Frug
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:32 PM

A number (???) of years ago a mate of mine and myself in a fit of drunken devilment placed the following ad in Melody Maker..........

"Two Freaky Guys seek two way out girls for naughty things"

63 responses................O those were the days my friends !!!

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:59 PM

Many years ago a friend posted a personal ad in my name as a joke. Back then, when (as he described in the ad) I was in my mid-20s and in great shape from mountain climbing, there were a lot of responses. I gave him the stacks of letters so he could read a few, and he resolved to not pull that kind of prank any more. There were a few "how about it, babe?" smart-ass responses, a few weepy "my wife died and I need someone to raise my five children all under the age of 7" responses, and mostly just letters from normal sounding guys. A few of them WERE in prison, and a lot of them were in the military (and back then some would see these two situations as not mutually exclusive!) Except for the fact that I was happily unattached and moving around the country as a seasonal park ranger, there were a couple that could have stood closer examination.

Finding people with similar interests by joining organizations related to those interests seems a more sane approach.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,GROK
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:52 PM

Wanted:

Woman between the ages of 35 and 65 who wants to do housework, cooking, laundry and general maintenance around the house. Occasional roll in the hay with an allowance of $15/week. Must be prepared to work from 6:00 AM until just after late-night news and bring beer when requested. Apply at 555-5555.


I have been running this ad with no success. Most responses have been rude/offensive. How can I 'perk it up' a little? Suggestions?

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:55 PM

Sign it Onslow. Women will flock to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,GROK
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 03:21 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,Confused
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 09:01 AM

Should I answer this one from Match.com?

I am 53 a bit rough around the edges but also shy. I like people who do not lie and play games. Honesty of go away. I was with Eva for 35 years but it has fallen apart and she cheats on me. And I want to move on but she also changed the house into her name so I have no home and she has the two vehicles in her name as well. Please do not be anything like her she is verbally cruel and stupid. She must be accepting and understanding as well as not bad looking, pleasant, and It would be nice if we could walk in the wood together or fish together. I love the Celtics and Patriots and feel I should be encouraged to enjoy my few heros. I cannot drink because I take medicine so if you are a party girl ciest lae vie. I do not mind anything in real moderation. I am in constant pain and take pills for it and I do have some bouts of depression for which I am also treated. My woman will have to have some sort of income because all I have is SSDI although I can try some part time work to help out. 2,000 words is a bit much don't ya think? My daughter is facing to agravated oui charges this Monday and I am very afraid for you because I love her so much and there are mandatory minimum sentences , fines, and a six year suspension because three people were seriously injured including her. I prayed to the good lord and I hope with all my heart that she gets house arrrest because she has acute asthma also. I still love to hear Jim Croce songs. But enjoy soft rock, maybe country rock. and the Wallflowers first cd... Dylan Hell lots of good songs. My greatest relief from lifes challenges remains fishing with a friend for small mouth bass and occasionally trout or salmon....... The beauty of the water is soul food for me and the adrenalin rush from catching a large fish is super fun. I like to let them go after but occasionally would like a picture or two. I like to make love not just have intercourse one is a turn on the other is not. My girl must love me. Sincerely

Not Provided

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 09:43 AM

yeah answer...hell what could it hurt....if nothing else he'll be one you can cross off you list. A dinner date - maybe just a cup of coffee - will be all that's needed to know for sure.

As a last resort, you could try the Mudcat. Some folks have had a fair amount of luck here. Just ask 'em. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 11:16 AM

Too much baggage there by the sounds of it. Learn to read between the lines of these ads and save yourself a lot of hassle. Better still, go out and meet "real" people, take a girlfiend with you for moral support. Good luck

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Pauline L
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:08 PM

I speak as a veteran of many personal ads, one of which led to bliss but...That's a long story.

I'm tired of hearing "Join clubs," "Get involved, be a volunteer," "Go to church" etc. Do you know who joins clubs, volunteers, and goes to church? Single women, most of them lonely, divorced, and middle aged.

I also get tired of well meaning people who say, "Be careful. Don't meet him in a dark alley. If you respond to his ad, you might get raped," etc. Most of us have been around and we're not that dumb.

Courtship by correspondence is nothing new. People did it long before the Internet came along. Remember Elizabeth Barret Browning and Robert Browning? Clara (nee Wieck) Schumann and Robert Schumann? Also, there were two people you've never heard of, a male and a female GI in WWII, who corresponded with each other even though they were half a world apart and had never met each other. They were each given the other's address by a mutual friend. Eventually, they became my parents. My mother saved the postcards my father sent to her during the war, and I loved to read them as a kid. My father wrote her a lot of limericks. Of course, all his mail was censored, and he found out that a CO was stealing his verses, claiming them as his own, and sending them to his own girlfriend. My father handled that by working my mother's name into his rhymes. I think he gave her a few clues about his personality in his writing. I also think he passed on some of these personality traits to me. :-)

You can say a lot of bad things about personal ads, but there are some good things, too. You can screen a lot of people quickly from your computer. It would take forever to physically meet so many people. This method of meeting people selects for people who are literate. You put your interests, personality traits, hobbies, etc. upfront, and it saves time and awkward face to face conversations. My favorite reason for liking personals is that I like to write. I'm not outgoing or pretty, and that kills my chances of getting a man if I join clubs, volunteer, go to church, etc. Even if there are eligible males my age there, they won't even see or talk to me. (Actually, this is true of most people of both genders. Maybe that's why I have so few friends.) You can get to know someone slowly, through emails, then phone conversations, then meeting in person. By the time I met the Love of My Life, we had written and talked to each other a lot, and I felt like I was going to meet an old friend. The only question was whether there would be that spark of chemistry, and there sure was.

If anyone knows a single, eligible male who might be compatible with me, please help us connect.

Pauline

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:20 PM

Hopefully, that whole description is a joke. If not, run fast and run far!
Add my name to the "looking" list but I insist on a beard and a banjo.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: GUEST,jennifer
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:43 PM

I met some nice guys by placing an ad in a specific magazine - in my case it was a cycling one and said I was looking for a cycling companion maybe with a mind to going to Finland for a long trip. I never did get to Finland but got a boyfriend out of it. This is a variation on what someone else said about meeting guys then deciding which ones you want to date. If folk music is your interest, place in music magazine, etc. Gives you a more balanced market to choose from and keeps you sane. You don't need to obsess over finding someone who "matches" perfectly, some interests in common will help but you also need some spark of difference.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Pauline L
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:11 PM

Sinsull, I recently answered a personal ad and met a bearded man who would have looked cute with a banjo. You can have him, if you want. On second thought, no, I wouldn't do that to a friend. I had a few hours of pleasant conversation with him at a bookstore and a restaurant, and he even paid for my meal. Of course, I'm modern and egalitarian and all that, but I don't mind having the guy pay for my meal, especially if the encounter has been a waste of my time, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: dianavan
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 02:28 AM

Whem my very busy daughter decided to engage in computer dating I was appalled and told her all of my fears. She looked at me and asked, "When you were my age, where did you meet men?"

"Ah, er, ah, hmmmmm....a bar."



Nuff said. Its always a risk!

d

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Moses
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 07:06 AM

It depends a bit on your age and what you want from any subsequent relationship.

If, like me, you're no longer a Spring Chicken but still have all the springs try:-


"Looking for something more than an armchair in front of the telly? Try this 50's-style generously padded, comfy recliner. Upholstery slightly sagging and fabric a little faded, but springs in excellect shape"


Let me know if it works and I might try it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Pauline L
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 11:01 PM

Moses, I might answer an ad like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: kendall
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 11:17 PM

Humor is so important.
Now, by way of balance, there are also some very screwed up women out there too.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: Moses
Date: 15 Nov 04 - 07:39 AM

Pauline L -   OK, but would a fella answer it - and what would it tell him?


Kendall -    And there are many of us who are not screwed up, we just don't want to be viewed as only wanting to be screwed.

Sometimes its just nice to meet and get to know kind, thoughtful, intellegent, generous, UNATTACHED men who have a sense of humour. God, there must be some out there!!

My love to Jacqui

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: LadyJean
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 01:02 AM

My sister reccomended internet dating services, and I tried two. I read a lot of guys who were seriously into sports. "I can't wait for March Madness". "I love football" I got the idea that they hadn't really noticed when their last lady dumped them, because they were too busy watching the playoffs.
My sister is gay, so her experience was different than mine.

Subject: RE: BS: Help me write a personal ad
From: freda underhill
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 01:18 AM

I have a good friend who was single for seven years after her marriage broke up. She decided to try RSVP, spent all weekend reading every post from every man in her geographic area/age group and made a list of 20 who had funny posts/interests in common. She emailed her first choice, they got on, she moved to another state, and came back again, still emailing, they got in touch and they have been together for four years now.