BS: Help! Bed Squeaks

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:26 PM

(known as having lead in one's pencil)

Now does that ever sound like the right double entendre for this thread!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: s&r
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:18 PM

Flash Dash (silicone spray) is excellent for general light lubrication of springs etc. Squeaky planks respond to talc or graphite (known as having lead in one's pencil)

Stu

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 01:06 PM

Yep, that was probably me, khandu. White GMC van with a "Redefeat Bush!" bumpersticker? But, errr... I was drivin' on I-65 at the time, not I-55. That would mean you were prancin' around buck-nekkid about a hundred miles to the wrong side of the Mississippi/Alabama line. Better watchit, Bub. I wasn't kiddin' about that "Your Kingship stops at the state line" stuff. Ain't no tellin' what those Alabama State Troopers might be prone to do with a skinny nekkid white boy.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 11:56 AM

Re Tempurpedic:

Coming from Alaska, my fear with those body hugging contour jobs is that if you hop into one in a cold room, you will bounce off its cold hardened surface, and have to 'burn' your way in.

Not believing in electric blankets, I've always relished the leap into a cold, but SOFT situation with plenty of insulation, then providing the body heat necessary to obtain comfort.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 11:15 AM

TEMPURPEDIC, Your Majesty!! Honest!! Try it out in a store and you will love it...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 11:10 AM

Long ago I read about a small town in California where they had devised some linguistic oddities. One of them was 'rickychow', their word for sex. Can you put that together with the purpose of this thread and figure out why?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: bbc
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 10:24 PM

I thought what to do about the bed was buy a new one that doesn't squeak. ;)

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: khandu
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 10:04 PM

I thought I saw you coming down 55 last week! Damn, B-dub! You almost ran over my naked Royal Bohunkus!! I guess I better put up some road signs, eh?

Kk

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:39 PM

I really don't see what the point of this thread is. It was started by His Majesty khandu, King of All Mississippi. He is the King, for God's sake! Why should he worry about whether or not the bedsprings squeak? He can get butt-naked and screw in the middle of Interstate 55 in broad daylight if he wants to and nobody can do or say anything about it 'cause he's the KING!

Just don't try that kinda stuff in Arkansas or Tennessee, Kenny boy. You're just another guy when you cross that state line.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,bed expert
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:16 PM

if none of these excellent suggestions work, you are going to have to change your name from KAHNDU to KHANTDO!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:15 PM

BBC, you're out beyond us. This discussion isn't about the comfort of sleeping ON the bed AFTER the fact. This is about what to do about the squeak when it happens and the types of beds that inhibit or enable the energetic activity that causes the squeak in the first place!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 07:57 PM

Unless the electricity fails. Then they suck all the heat out of your body.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: bbc
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 05:05 PM

Au contraire, in my experience. Waterbeds provided comfortable support for a heavier partner &, as an added benefit, allowed me to sleep on my stomach till I was 8 months pregnant! Also nice that they are warm in the winter.

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 06:50 AM

Love takes many forms.


Ever had it on a form?


You get splinters in the inside of your wrists.


And they stop bowling and come and watch, you know.



(Quote from a Mike Harding TV show.)

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 03:19 AM

Khandu, are you sure it's German? Bed manufacturers in Mittenvald have been known to stick labels under the mattress provenancing the truckle as made in Cremona, where the very Stradivarius of night furniture have long been manufactured. Chances are that you could have a genuine Amati Bed Company classic on your hands, which is old enough to have springs that have rusted from the steam of night soil convecting from the carpet vase. I can't believe that you are still using such a valuable asset for its original purpose. You can play on a cheap Chinese bed and still get squeaks. I understand it's all in the wrist.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: MBSLynne
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 02:51 AM

Tombstones don't squeak....

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Naemanson
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 11:40 PM

I had a squeaky bed until last Monday. After the fire I had to throw it out and buy a new one. No more squeaks... And no more house!

Probably not a good solution.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 11:07 PM

exactly...waterbeds provide very little leverage, requiring creative reading of the Kama Sutra...

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 10:46 PM

Ewe. . .

Waterbeds develop a tidal action that seems to counter your efforts--I don't like 'em. I'd rather have a head-banger squeaky bed than a waterbed.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: kendall
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:21 PM

Sign on a senior citizens camper:

IF THIS RIG IS ROCKING
I'M HAVING A SIEZURE

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,x again
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:18 PM

In spite of our surroundings the only living stimulant used, was a pot of strawberry yoghurt.
I had really hoped that I had filed this experience under P for Past.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:13 PM

With all those lamb tongues, you didn't feel a bit sheepish?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:33 PM

GUEST xagain.......Cold store, Pork loins, sounds a bit you you were making a pig of yourself. LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:08 PM

Now, THAT'S an image.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,x
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:06 PM

No sheep as such, but a couple of boxes of frozen lambs tongues to spice things up.....NO WAY.I mean they were there, but NO WAY.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: bbc
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:02 PM

Waterbeds never squeak. Slosh sometimes, but never, never squeak. ;)

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:01 PM

Is the sheep OK?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:01 PM

"Twenty years later and almost vegetarian."

Jesus Christ, man, are you still in there? DO YOU NEED HELP?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,x again
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:58 PM

In a walk-in cold store refrigeration room for fresh meat. I kid you not. Surrounded by sides of beef and pork loins. We must have contravened a health by law somewhere along the line? Twenty years later and almost vegetarian. How times change.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: robomatic
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:52 PM

Play Bolero and vary your approach

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:17 PM

You got bathrooms in Scotland? What WILL they think of next?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,Giok
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:07 PM

The bathroom floor at a party, with people outside screaming to get in to use the toilet.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:07 PM

. . . in a firehall.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,x
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:11 PM

pool table...definitely a pool table!

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: GUEST,m
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 04:21 PM

'67 Chevy. Only way to go.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 04:08 PM

Actually, the VW's suspension wasn't all that great either.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:58 PM

What if the floor boards squeak?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Peace
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:32 PM

Do WHAT on the floor. I am seriously lost here. Is this a furniture thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:27 PM

It's possible in an elevator or a telephone booth too, but you have to be quick, generally speaking. Besides which, it's not that comfortable. Specially the phone booth.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:20 PM

Futon?

It's actually possible in a 1958 Volkswagen beetle, but you will sound like a squeaky bed for several days afterward.

Don't ask. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:07 PM

Ditto what Lynne said. Make you up a pallet on the floor.

I have a platform bed. Slats, no springs. Very little squeak.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 01:41 PM

Try sleeping in your bed.....Make use of fridges, freezers, washing machines, tables, sofas, chairs, carpeted floors, uncarpeted floors...the local park, your car....bit of variety is the spice of life eh??

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 12:46 PM

Suspend the bed from the ceiling and do it upsidedown. Bed will not squeak.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: kendall
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:58 AM

What is the humidity in that room? BEFORE you go to bed. Maybe everything is just too dry. (Well, not everything)

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:38 AM

Fixed one once by lubricating the hog-rings that attach the mesh to the frame. Vaseline/Petroleum jelly. Well, it was already in the room.
I imagine it would make a mess of the underside of the mattress, but it was an emergency.

CRC is a penetrating oil. The trouble with penetrating oils is that they keep spreading until there's nothing left where you want the lubrication, it is all over the earth.



Husband. "What are you doing under my bed?"

Strange Man. "Just oiling your hog-rings, mate. Fixing the window next."

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: MBSLynne
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:09 AM

Do it on the floor for goodness sake!!!

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:31 AM

They want help to bed Squeaks!

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 04:09 AM

What is it with wanting to get rid of squeaks?

I'm most upset!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: Peace
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:10 AM

Wish I had that problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Help! Bed Squeaks
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 03:08 AM

I'm sorry, I'm laughing too hard to be of much use... On my old bed, I removed the springs, and put 1/2 inch tongue and groove boards on as a base - no squeeks!

"tongue and groove" - ahhhhhhhhhh no!

ROFL

Robin