BS: Strange sexual practices

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Paranoid Android
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 07:25 PM

Have you ever seen an octopus trying to remove the kilt from a set of bagpipes?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 07:13 PM

Has anyone ever seen an octopus "getting it's legs over"?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 06:07 PM

They both had tentacles then?
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 04:36 PM

Some years ago, some deep-sea researchers published in _Science_ an account (with pictures -- they had taken movies) of a sexual encounter between two octopuses. They were both male, and of different species. I doubt if it counts as flagellation, tho.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:41 PM

She was only a gravedigger's daughter, but she liked lying under the sod.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:00 PM

The boys always called her "cementary" because she liked to lay in graves.

Cheerily,
Charley Ignoble

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 04:49 PM

Notice you don't use a name GUEST so assume you are the one involved with Martin and have first hand experience as you present as if you know what you are talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 04:44 PM

Anyone having sex with Martin Gibson is involved in a strange sexual practice.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 03:53 PM

I lost my virtuosity as quickly as I could.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 03:44 PM

I've never been noted for virtuousness!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 03:29 PM

It's alright, there was some cotton 'floss' provided!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 03:03 PM

Don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards. ;~)
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 02:56 PM

mmmmmmpost 69

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,MBS
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 11:35 AM

Yes it is!.Patience is a virtue.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 10:58 AM

That's not fair! At least tell me if you are male or female?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,MBS.
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 07:59 AM

Thats for me too know and you to find out Lynne???????.See you at the reunion in February.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 07:36 AM

Yes, Guest MBS, I can see that you do! So do I, but it doesn't usually involve chocolate. That's a whole separate sensual experience! And a lot depends on which end of the mars bar you are at, I think! Or which end of you the mars bar is at.........

Since you can't possibly be who I thought you were, and you are MBS....who are you??

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,graveyard digger
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 06:01 AM

Last night after working in the graveyard I had to get up and walk around, I was feeling a little stiff.

Little digger

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 04:58 AM

Stuffed and mounted, post mortem I hope!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 09:00 PM

in the face of poetry like that, even McGonnigle would surrender!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,grave little digger
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 08:14 PM

One night as I was wandering, the graveyard along
alistenin to the little bards, their pleasant laughing song
three mounted bodies did i find
Foolestroupe, Giok and BillD
We've died and we've surrendered said
the wild Colonial three....

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 03:44 PM

Tears running down my face -- gotta go to the bathroom. If you ever tell my kids I read the stuff in this thread I'll call you a liar.

Shakespeare, thou shouldst be living at this hour. Beats your ("Look for me tomorrow and you'll find me a grave man.") all hollow.
   Tw

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,MBS
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 03:16 PM

Sorry Lynne but its true.I enjoy my sex life.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 02:21 PM

A Mars a day, helps you work, rest, and have it away!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 02:10 PM

Not that way anyway.....surely???

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 02:09 PM

Guest MBS.....I don't believe you!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Martian Gibbon
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 04:59 AM

I seem to recall being in bed once with my hot water bottle and it leaked.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 04:47 AM

Was that the dog the drunk was sick over in a bar? [self punctuating sentence]
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:52 PM

Well, It's not the actual dog itself, but something the dog produces - you only THINK it's covered in chocolate... and somehow, I think that's likely only a guy thing... if you read the wrapper closely it says "M Gibbon Productions".... and that certainly IS one of the weirder 'Strange sexual practices' I have, if you pardon the expression, come across....

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:09 PM

oh, I should have known but why is it not for girls?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:05 PM

truck drivers eat one of THESE? On a stick? Covered with chocolate?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 07:51 PM

Yorkie Bar is waht truck drivers eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Midchuck
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 07:48 PM

Said a widow, whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice:
"It's been hard since I lost him.
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,MBS
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 06:21 PM

Lynne,i have tried a mars bar!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 06:19 PM

I have no idea what a "Yorkie Bar" is

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 06:11 PM

Penguins? I thought it was mars bars?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,neck yo feel ya--whatever
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 05:23 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 01:52 PM

This thread is dead boring!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:27 AM

In the American Book of Penguin Folk Songs' version of Foreman Young Monroe (aka The Jam on Jerry's Rocks), FYM's girlfriend, on hearing of his drowning, expresses the wish to be laid by him ... hope she at least waited till he'd dried out.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 06:21 AM

Youre sat on my Yorkie Bar

Punchline to another old joke

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 03:51 AM

Penguin lust, you can keep it...It takes too long to get the wrapper off!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,penguin
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 02:35 AM

I resent being objectified. show some resPECT! dammit.


fresh penguin (eggs a treat)

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Peace
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 08:12 PM

Penguin lust!

You say that like it's a BAD thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Opus
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 07:55 PM

Penguin lust!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 06:05 PM

Great joy they reap from tupping sheep
In sundry bogs & ditches --
Nor care a damn if it's a ram,
Those hardy sons of bitches! -- "The Pioneers"

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 02:58 AM

"Bestiality's best, boys,
Bestiality's best
F--k a wallaby......
Bestiality's best boys,
Bestiality's best.

Have a screw with a gnu boys,
Have a screw with a gnu....etc"

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 12:27 AM

Times have changed. Back when I was in college (late 1940s) the editor of the Princeton humor magazine was suspended (or expelled--I disremember) for the following comment:

"Virginity is probably the most bizarre, and least rewarding, of the sexual perversions."

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:11 PM

punch line to OLD joke:

"...but, mon cherí, don't you want to have children?"

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 08:40 PM

Shingling wombats.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Micca
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:27 PM

It adds a new slant to the phrase " laid in your tomb" though!!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,femcats
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 08:20 AM

enough of these mudcatty comments. dave, pretending you're dead is not enough, if you're sincere, a good self sacrifice is in order. The corpus delecti of this thread is proven - all speculative corporeal delicacies are mere compost , humus of the humerous, awaiting the final consumme - something's rotten in the thread of mudcat, and its not dave bryant.

several rampaging felines, eyeing off the entrails of destruction, looking for a good maul. BTW, here's mudcat in your eye, Dave!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 08:02 AM

If any women are into necrophilia and don't want to wait around until I kick the bucket, I'm perfectly prepared to pretend that I'm dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 07:09 AM

Hull on top again
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2002050329,00.html

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Martian Gibbon
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:46 AM

I'll have you know the goat was smileing, and the donkey

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:43 AM

What, on your knob?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Martian Gibbon
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:41 AM

OK OK I once left my socks on when making love - pure heaven

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:38 AM

Ah go on, go on, go on go on.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,Martian Gibbon
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:36 AM

I have many far to rude for this site but I like practicing.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:29 AM

Really, I am dying to find out more! I must bury my head in a book and research it. Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: freda underhill
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:15 AM

these comments are mortifying, more rigorous examination of the topic may have grave consequences.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: robomatic
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:13 AM

Well, the Governator is keeping a campaign progress. Eveybody else is dead against it.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 06:11 AM

With some men, rigor mortis is probably as good as it gets!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 04:15 AM

Sigh!!! I blame myself really.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 04:06 AM

I once knew a girl called Mary Skinner,
Many's the time I've had it in her,
I've had it standing, I've had it lying,
If I'd had wings I'd have had it flying,
Now she's dead but not forgotten..........
Dig her up and shag her rotten

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 03:05 AM

YUK!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Michael
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 01:48 PM

Are you sure that shouldn't say 'spilt' ?

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,sicko
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 01:40 PM

..I used to be in to nceorilphia utnil some rotten cnut split on me...

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Michael
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 01:35 PM

Quote from above news item on necrophilia:

'Prosecutors didn't have anything to charge these people with other than breaking and entering'
????? !!!

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: freda underhill
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 01:29 PM

The Redback Spider is found all over Australia in open bushland, but is especially common in urban areas. Bites are always from females as the male is much smaller and has jaws that are unable to penetrate human skin. The venom is highly toxic to humans but effective antivenom is widely available and no deaths have occurred since its development. The Redback Spider is also famous for the male's suicidal tendencies. After mating, he spins around so that his abdomen is against the female's fangs, effectively sacrificing himself to her. She mauls him, usually fatally, and eats him. If he escapes, he does so severely injured and returns to mate again-this time to certain death.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 12:49 PM

Define 'Strange' !!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 12:13 PM

Eeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

:~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 12:03 PM

I used to be into flaggelation, necrophilia and bestiality till I realised I was flogging a dead horse!
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 05:00 AM

Two worms in a cemetery, making love in dead Ernest.

INCEST!! The family game, that game only the family can play.
Buy your family incest for christmas.

Man walking along the beach in Normandy, finds the naked body of girl on the sand. Checks that she's dead, then goes off to fetch gendarmes. Upon their return they find an old tramp making love to the corpse.
"Monsieur please desist the young lady she is dead!" "Oh I am sorry" said the tramp, "I thought she was English.

English lady dies while on holiday in France, and her husband decides to have her buried there, as she loved the country. Being on holiday he did not have any clothing suitable for a funeral, so he decides to buy a black hat as a start. He asked the concierge where he could purchase un capot noir, she looks shocked but sends him to the chemists shop.
Bonjour Monsieur, avez vous un capot noir?
Un capot noir Monsieur, pourquoi aimez vous un capot noir?
Parce que ma femme et mort
Ah les Anglais, quelle finesse!!

I'll get my wooden overcoat......Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 04:18 AM

Necrophilia is dead boring !

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 03:29 AM

ROTFLMAO!

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 02:59 AM

Quite right. After all necrophilia stinks. It is another nail on the coffin of a decaying society. As for me, I'd rather die before I let a necrophiliac touch me.

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: MBSLynne
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 02:48 AM

Having read that, all I can think of to say is......Bloody hell!!!!

If necrophilia is so much of a problem, what about all the other strange things that some people do? Is this the start of a whole series of odd legislations on sexual practices? We might find things we never even knew existed if it goes on!

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Teresa
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 02:40 AM

ahhhh yes ... very strange indeed. Maybe he'll leave off the gay marriage thing, though, if he's concentrating on the necrophilia issue? Probably not. [sigh]

T

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 02:33 AM

Ackshually, it was the one about necrophilia finally being made officially illegal in California. It's enough of a problem that they had to make a law about it? I had no idea...

Subject: RE: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: Teresa
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 02:07 AM

Hmmm, there are a lot of odd people around; makes the world more interestinger. ;)

Er, which article were you referring to, or shall we make a synthesis of all of them?

Cow gets nipples pierced?

Boiler lands on ... no never mind; too weird for me, even.

The boiler landing on the old man, killing him on impact ... now that one really made me cringe. Definitely not funny, that one. :(

T

Subject: BS: Strange sexual practices
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 14 Sep 04 - 01:47 AM

Well, I don't know what you were expecting, but here's a link to a Yahoo!News - Oddly Enough article.