BS: saddest shopping list

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 12:20 PM

Helpful Hint:

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 09:48 AM

"large roll of binliners, rubber gloves, air freshner."

hhmmmmmmm......

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 08:25 AM

large mop

bucket

large roll of binliners

rubber gloves

air freshner.

success at last.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: darkriver
Date: 20 Sep 04 - 03:35 AM

Hm.

The saddest sight I ever saw in a market was one evening when the guy in front of me placed a small package of baloney and ONE can of beer on the belt. And jokes aside, he WAS ugly.

doug

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Micca
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:14 PM

Credit note for returned bunch of Flowers
credit note for returned box of chocaltes
credit note for returned Champagne
Credit note for returned pack of condoms
Tube of Clearasil

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:11 PM

Ranger Steve
Dont you think that the chap in front of you was just showing off?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:03 PM

Is that a trick question, they all sell demi bottles, don't they?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Sep 04 - 12:03 PM

Glenfidditch - but only from one side of the Glenlivet Valley.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Kaleea
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 11:49 PM

Uh, pardon my inquisitiveness, but, um, just what grocery market sells half of a bottle of whiskey? Would that be the top half or the bottom half? Or does the bottle have some kind of divider down the middle with air on one side & the booze on the other? Is the bottle broken in half? What kind of Whiskey is it? just wondering . . .

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: RangerSteve
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 11:36 PM

During a major snow storm, after I realized I wasn't going to make it into work, I stopped at the 7-11 and bought a half gallon of orange juice, a box of Entenmans chocolate covered donuts, and the NY Times. This was my idea of the perfect single guy's snowed-in shopping list. The guy next to me had the same stuff, but asked the cashier for a pack of condoms. Suddenly, my list seemed pretty sad.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 08:55 PM

I bet thats one regular dog.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 08:14 PM

My usual list....
Plain yogurt (dog food)
Tinned pumpkin (dog food)
Safflower oil (dog food)
Delicious Apple (dog food)
Kibble (dog food)
Glucosomine/Chondroitin liquid (dog food)
Cigs (not dog food)
Beer (not dog food)

And, when I was growing up the Basic List was:
Beer
Milk
Bread
Cigs
Diapers
Dog food
Not necessarily in that order.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Peg
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 02:46 PM

hmm, well a sad one recently was my first stop at CVS after breaking my leg and getting surgery: Vicodin, Vioxx, aspirin, Vitamin C, calcium supplements...

Only thing I am still taking are the vitamins!

I like to look at what people buy at the market, helps me figure out who they are. Or maybe not. I always wonder if the check-out folks actually notice this stuff.

Carol Burnett did a hilarious sketch about a guy at the market with a girl (Harvey Korman and Vicki Lawrence) who check out their stuff with a ditzy cashier (Burnett) and he has bought a bunch of embarrassing sleazy date items like scented candles, tinned oysters, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 12:40 PM

Marmite
Peanut butter
Bed bugs
Bananas
Stick insects
Corn plasters
Vocalzones
Bed socks
Lavender bag
Mosquito repellent

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: open mike
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 12:13 PM

oh i thought this would be about a sadist's shopping list...
whips, chains, etc.
glad to see it is not...
decongestant, kleenex, throat lozenges, cough drops, pain and fever
control medicineand a heating pad...now that would be an unfortunate list!

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 07:48 AM

What would be a happy shopping list. I have a feeling that the contents of your supermarket basket don't reveal much about the sadness and gloom in your life, or the opposite.

The merry families with supermarket trollies piled high and the smart looking couples with bottles of wine and gourmet this and that sometimes remind of a line from Philip Larkin

A joyous shot at how life ought to be......

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 06:20 AM

"Packet of dried cat food"

What do dried cats eat?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Bert
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 11:27 PM

Ramin noodles
Roach bait
Corn Plasters
Air Freshener

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:38 PM

I see I'm not the only one who wonders at the temporal relationship between the various items being purchased by the customer ahead of me. Are they for one occasion or to spread around the house?

In the morning if I stop by the store after dropping off the kids at school and get in line following a young store employee buying a bag of Krispy Creme donuts and a Diet Coke, I bite my tongue about suggesting a healthier breakfast. I'm kind of intrigued by the guys who go through line on Saturday afternoon with a couple of good steaks, wine, salad fixings, dessert, pharmaceuticals, and a bouquet. It's tempting to make a remark or just give them a wink, but again, I keep it to myself.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,RIchard Bridge with no cookie
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:07 PM

One pack of dog food implies a very small dog.

But half a bottle of whisy is always sadder than a whole one.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 06:28 PM

one memorial candle for a romantic evening with someone you met----check Woody Allen's film---Play It Again Sam.

Honestly--- Davetnova really has a sad list---but at least he has the companionship of the dog and cat. I hope. If not the whisky surely comes in handy---and, who was it--Richard Pryor?---his friend that visits with him each day---the bottle.

Bill Hahn

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 12:28 PM

Certificate of exclusion from the rest of humanity? What's the name of that store, again?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 07:57 AM

Davetnova - sad would be those items on a supermarket single night, the lack of contacts would inform you thus.

UNLESS you took the dog - guarranteed to strike conversations with like minded intersted parties (of the first part).

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 04:49 AM

I hate the condescending way they ask if you would like help with packing, as if being over 50 means you've never seen a carrier bag before. I once, mistakenly, said yes and then spent half an hour separating the bacon from the eggs. They never seem to go back into their shells as easily as they come out do they?

Mushy peas
Cider
Madras curry paste
Pickled eggs
Nose clip
Certificate of exclusion from the rest of humanity
Cheap fish fingers (for jOhn in 'Ull)

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Sam L
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 08:37 PM

What gets me is the inexorable march of my grocery items on the belt, like lemmings to the sea.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,skipy
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 11:21 AM

a banjo and a "how to play banjo book"

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:25 AM

Just stop eating dried cats Dave, it scrambles your brain and eventually affects your spelling. Look what happened to jOhn!

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Davetnova
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:19 AM

All right so its not that sad. My life seems fairly good now (in comparison) thanks all for that.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 10:52 PM

"Only one roll, Noddy?"

He's not planning to leave till the job is finished...

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Teresa
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 05:43 PM

four pages of stuff ... then discovering you can't bake your cookies unless you go back, because you forgot that thing you went there for. ;)

T

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 05:35 PM

HuwG, you should have told her, "Not after a few of these" and pointed to the beer.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 04:02 PM

Ah... Good old Anusol. It's the sponsor of the chair in our local pharmacy... one of those hard, plastic, pile causing chairs.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 03:06 PM

I was looking around in a local store when a ypung clerk asked if she could be of assistance. I said "Yes, I was looking for some kilbasa".
"Oh", she said, "you must be Polish!" "How did you know?" said I.
"Because", she replied,"This is a hardware store".

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: HuwG
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 02:51 PM

I went to the checkout at the local supermarket, with a small loaf, one pint of milk, some single portion pizzas and curries, several cans of beer ...

The girl on the till said, "I can see that you're not married."

I said, "How ?"

She said, "You're ugly."

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 02:42 PM

Anusol, Fixadent, Listerine.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: jimmyt
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 02:39 PM

Preparation H, Pennicillin,Quell,Denture Cream, Hearing Aid Battery, Pop Tarts,Bear

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: greg stephens
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 02:29 PM

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Michael
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 12:55 PM

Only one roll, Noddy?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 11:29 AM

tin of prunes
bunch of figs
pack of dates
roll of toilet paper

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 11:18 AM

Wait--

Hers:
Viagra, Grecian Formula, roses.

Awwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

His:
Monistat, Orajel, chocolate.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Jeri
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 11:14 AM

It's not that sad, but...

Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream
Box of chocolate chip cookies
2 large chocolate bars
Midol
Tampons

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 11:14 AM

banjo, marmite, skip.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: jimmyt
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 11:06 AM

Colby Cheese, Immodium, Toilet paper

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 10:33 AM

Here is a sadder one -

2 pints of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream and a People magazine.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 10:01 AM

You have pets. That isn't sad at all.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:43 AM

Condoms, gay news , violin then Dave?

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:41 AM

Halibut, pure filth.

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:39 AM

Our grocery store has a pharmacy in it.

Lice shampoo, prescription for penicillin, lighter fluid.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:36 AM

Condoms, Gay news, halibut

Subject: RE: BS: saddest shopping list
From: jimmyt
Date: 15 Sep 04 - 09:34 AM

Condoms, Playboy Mag,Cigarettes