Making my act LESS child-friendly

Subject: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,sadams at bitstream.net
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:16 PM

How do I search the Digital Tradition for bawdy songs, e.g. the classic 'Friggin' in the Riggin''?

People have this disconcerting habit of plunking the wee ones directly in front of me in a variety of performance situations - after all, as an accordion player (vaguely somewhere in the Irish/British Isles tradition) and trad singer, I've GOTTA be child-friendly, right?

Help me find ways short of Jonathan Swift to demonstrate that well, no, I'm really not.

regards,
Sam

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:19 PM

You could do worse than to start by doing a search on Oscar Brand.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:26 PM

do a lyric and forum search for @bawdy

or a forum search for 'bawdy'

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Pene Azul
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:30 PM

Select "DT Keyword Search" from the Quick Links dropdown above. Check "bawdy" and click the search button.

Jeff

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:31 PM

I thought those songs WERE child friendly?

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:32 PM

Thanks a million!

You all rock so hard.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 03:33 PM

Perhaps they're child-friendly in the sense that they inspire activities associated with the creation of children. ;)

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 04:22 PM

You could just drop the accordion on the children..... works on lots of levels.....

LTS

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Cluin
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 04:25 PM

Light up a smoke after every song. They'll move their kids away pretty quick.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 04:55 PM

Try kids singing games. The brats will leave out of sheer embarasment and the adults will love them - especially after a few bevvies.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: M.Ted
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 07:54 PM

Got news for you--as an accordian player/traditional singer in the Irish/British Isles whatever, the majority of adults have no use for you whatsoever,so if the kids don't like you, you're through--

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: fi_in_nz
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 08:22 PM

Tom Lehrer's Masochism Tango would work well with the accordion - parents might drag their kids away from the front row when they discovered you were really evil...

F

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Joybell
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 08:26 PM

You've got the upper hand with an accordian. Turn up the sound and drown out their little piping voices. Little kids like to be the stars. They can't compete with an accordian. They'll run screaming from you with their hands over their ears. Better still get a few accordian-playing friends to join in. Joy

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: mack/misophist
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 10:39 PM

A can of hair spray and a lighter make a wonderful flame thrower. Consider starting with a recitation of Swift's A Modest Proposal.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Sep 04 - 11:06 PM

What'll I do with the baby-o?

Look it up... oughtta take care of the problem.

Dance him north and dance him south,
Dance him north and dance him south,
Put a little whiskey in his mouth,
If he won't go to sleepy-o.

Or at least it goes something like that.

~S~

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: LadyJean
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 12:18 AM

Lambkin and Weela Wallya. Be sure to sing the verse where Lambkin sticks a needle up the baby's nose good and lous.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 02:41 AM

M.Ted knows different adults than I do.

Consider putting up with the kids for a while; they are your future audience.

Probably won't work. The singers/performers I'm loyal to liked me, as well as my parents, and seemed to think of me as human. But you care enough about the "kiddies" to be concerned about what they're hearing.

Try an announcement early in a set -- something about the graphic, adult-issue nature of many folksongs and that your sets are rated, at best, PG, and sometimes R.

Of course, how you deal with this depends on the context of the performance. What is appropriate at an afternoon gig at a music festival is different than what works at the second show in a club.
Well, I guess that's my "Duh" moment for this hour.

Yeah, Weela Walya.   Tw

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 03:28 AM

Have you tried dressing up as a priest?
Giok ;~)

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,Elfcall
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:09 AM

Giok - that is very naughty but also very funny :0)

Elfcall

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: M.Ted
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:45 AM

Apparently, some of you hate kids--that's your prerogative--the vicious, sick, and sadistic comments are not appreciated by those of us who have children--

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 08:49 AM

Explosives do it for me.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 09:28 AM

Hmmm, and children aren't appreciated by those of us who don't have 'em...
It's a vicious circle, eh?

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: M.Ted
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 09:56 AM

You don't have to have children--it would be nice if you could at least be civil to the people who do--

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:00 AM

When I do "adult" material - or borderline stuff - and there are children in the audience - I just issue a disclaimer - because if their kids understand the material - it certainly isn't *MY* fault. And if they don't understand it - what's the problem?

On the other hand - the kids I know who have grown up around the performance of "bawdy" materials seem to have a much better understanding of WHEN such material is socialy acceptable and when it is not - compared to their peers. Not to mention the fact they are much more inventive when they *DO* use such language.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:01 AM

Sheesh! I'm not beng uncivil. I have no problem with most children - just the ones whose parents don't keep them under control.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:03 AM

I've got four kids, and I still swear by explosives to keep the buggers under control... oh.... there's only two left!

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:04 AM

and in the long run - that is a PARENT problem - not a CHILD problem.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:10 AM

I was asked a question about this today. The act I do is not suitable for children - especially small ones. It is boring for them. The words are important - and very often concerned with events which they don't understand - and the gags go over their heads. However, for adults to be able to enjoy it, they have to be able to listen without the distraction of bored children demanding their attention. I like playing for children too - but it's a different audience. Their needs are are often different - as I would expect them to be. It is not a question of being pro or anti children. It is just that you can only play to one audience at a time if you really want to do the job well.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: M.Ted
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 11:58 AM

this is not civil-- "Turn up the sound and drown out their little piping voices.They'll run screaming from you with their hands over their ears" nor this " Be sure to sing the verse where Lambkin sticks a needle up the baby's nose." nor this "A can of hair spray and a lighter make a wonderful flame thrower. Consider starting with a recitation of Swift's A Modest Proposal"--

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Gervase
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 12:52 PM

Good grief, lighten up M.Ted - it's a parent's prerogative to say such things about kids. I've got two of my own and a stepson, and I love 'em to bits, but I can still take the piss out of the little buggers.
Trouble is with the advice given, if you do demonstrate flame throwers and sing about extreme violence, the kids will just love it all the more.
MMario's got it - it's down to the parents. If the guest who opened the thread has no choice about where s/he performs, it's tricky. Too many parents see someone performing and think: "Ah, a free child-minder in the guise of an entertainer," and dump their brood in front of the performer.
Maybe some scary face-paint or some judicious latex scarring would help! Failing that, try to perfom on licensed premises, where the audience has to be at least 14.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: M.Ted
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 02:11 PM

I didn't say that stuff, others did--and to me, it looks pretty cold when written out on the page--

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Cool Beans
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 03:47 PM

Whoopi Goldberg used to begin her stage act standing behind the curtain and singing the national anthem,inserting the word motherfuckin'in the first line or two. That ought to work with any nation's anthem and it's guaranteed to clear the room of young 'uns. Trouble is, you might lose a few adults, too.

Subject: Lyr Add: BOLD SIR JOHN (from The Two Ronnies)
From: Chris Green
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 07:45 PM

The Two Ronnies song 'Bold Sir John' leaps to mind. I reprint it below...

Now Bold Sir John was young at heart,
And Bold Sir John was gay;
He strolled the woods, the fields all round,
A'heeding Mother Natures sounds;
The tittering of the birds all day,
The bumblebees at play.
(Chorus with Kids)
The Tit! The Tit! The Tit! The tit!
The tittering of the birds all day;
The Bum! The Bum! The Bum! The Bum!
The bumblebees at play.

As Bold Sir John continued on,
A'viewing natures ways;
He asked the Lord "Come tell me pray,
Why elephants live so long they say;
Your flies live but a day then they,
Drop dead upon the ground".

Your Flies! Your Flies! Your Flies! Your Flies!
Your flies live but a day then they;
Drop Dead! Drop Dead! Drop Dead! Drop Dead!
Drop dead upon the ground.

As Bold Sir John walked on afar,
He spied a maiden fair;
"I beg you sir don't come too near,
For I've seen many a maiden here;
Get lost amongst the new mown hay,
So doff your hat I pray".

Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
Get lost amongst the new mown hay.
Sod off! Sod off! Sod off! Sod off!
So doff your hat I pray.

When Bold Sir John return'ed home,
They gave him gin to try;
"Don't fill me with strong liquor up,
Nor give me grape nor grain to sup;
Pour cowslips dew into my cup,
A puritan am I

Poor Cow! Poor Cow! Poor Cow! Poor Cow!
Pour cowslips dew into my cup.
Up You! Up You! Up You! Up You! A Puritan am I

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: Joybell
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 09:55 PM

Well yes, it does look a bit nasty written out. I don't imagine any of us would actually do cruel things to children. I certainly don't. We just know that our silly suggestions are not actually going to be taken up. There's a good number of sound and non-nasty ideas here too. Admittedly not put here by me. I'm usually nicer. Sorry. Grandma Joy.

Subject: RE: Making my act LESS child-friendly
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 17 Sep 04 - 10:59 PM

I would encourage you to visit the "rugby song" thread within the MC forum.

Begin your act with its "The Candy Man"

Any parents allowing their children to stay in the audience....should be given a business-card with the address of Michael Jackson's solicitor.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle