Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete

Subject: Piss pot pete
From: Allan S.
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 07:22 PM

Has any one heard of a song that starts with the words "Down from the hills came Piss pot Pete" This is a song that is said to exist. Suggstions are that it could be a variation of a poem by Robert Service. Any other ideas??

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: gargoyle
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 07:34 PM

Does it go someting like:

Boy! You call me Boy?
Sixteen pounds of swingin' meat
Balls as big around as pickle jars
Enough hair on my back to weave a Navajo Indian rug
Stand flat footed and piss in the radiator of a Mac truck
And you have the outragious, audacity, to call be a boy?

Heard this in the late 60's.....from some south US gents

There is a version that goes, on and on.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 09:39 PM

There are vague memories of this as a poem (quite bawdy and highly appealing to the adolescent male) You know, something like "Gather 'round boys and I'll give you a treat and tell you the story of Piss Pot Pete."

For once, I am glad I don't remember.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Les B
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 12:22 AM

From the verses described it sounds like a variation of "Eskimo Nell" which has a Peg Leg Pete in it. Lurking somewhere in my cassette library is a bootlegged copy of "Eskimo Nell" by two very posh sounding, slightly inebriated BBC radio announcers comparing their versions of this classic. It was supposedly recorded after a broadcast by an alert technician. Roger's right, however, after the first blush it's fairly adolescent.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Les B
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 12:27 AM

I forgot to mention, like an idiot, that a compilation version of Eskimo Nell is in the database -- just type in "Eskimo Nell" in the search screen.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: BSeed
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 02:39 AM

Gargoyle, my turn. The song you entered seems to have nothing to do with "Piss Pot Pete" but the word "piss." It's an interesting song, though; I'll have to give you that much. I hope somebody who sees it knows it and can enter it. --seed

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From:
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:00 AM

I remember this from college days and I was trying to fill in the blanks(missing verses). Maybe someone can assist. I have a college reunion coming up and it would be fun. Anyway, as I recall...

There once was a man named piss pot pete with 20 lbs of swinging meat. He had a cock that wouldn't quit and a breath that smelt like panther shit.

Now piss pot pete that son of a bitch had the unfortunate luck to back his wagon into a whorehouse ditch. He bet a gallon of whiskey he could fuck them all and he lined them up against the wall. He fucked 98 till his balls turned blue, then backed off, jacked off and corn holed the last two.

Subject: RE: Ballad of the 69,000
From:
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:11 AM

Does anyone know the "Ballad of the 69 thousand"? I wouldlike to complete all the verses.

It starts out...

Twas the day of the kings castration...
The queen wanted a ball...
Chalk one up for the hairy beast

Shit said the king
and the whole nation squated and groaned
for in those days the kings word was law

The prince said where's the princess?
and The King said fuck the princess
and 69,000 were trampled in the rush

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:14 AM

THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE

Now gather round children and I'll tell a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started a way out west,
To settle the bet of who was best.

Now Old Lill f*cked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to f*ck her down.

Now news of this boast traveled far and wide;
Thousands of rod-toters came and died;
When down from Knoxville came Pisspot Pete,
With eighteen pounds of Swinging Meat.

Eighteen pounds of meat and thirty pounds of cod;
He wasn't a boy--he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar;
I'll swear it stretched from thar to...........thar.

Stunk like shit, I thought I'd die;
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.

People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangey Whore and Piss Pot Pete.

Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lill warmed up on an old cross-tie;
Oh my God how the splinters did fly!

Pete came down Main Street like a south-bound freight,
And Old Lill knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.

With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lill screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!

Lill let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark came to the sun;
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired off his gun.

When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres, Lill's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled out in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!

Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest;
Got on two horses and rode off West.

As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!

Now Old Pete died and went to hell:
F*cked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the wall,
Yelling, "Get him out of here before he f*cks us all!"

He f*cked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!


there was a girl called jenny brown,
who thought no man could lay her down.
over the hills came piss-pot pete,
with twenty pounds of dangling meat.
he lay poor jenny on the grass,
and stuck his cock right up her ass.
poor old jenny did a fart,
and blew piss-pot pete's balls apart.
over the hills went piss-pot pete,
with twenty pounds of shredded meat!

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: pavane
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 07:36 AM

You can find several versions of the (prose recitation)'The night of the King's castration/Saga of Daniel/ballad of 69000' at Llewtrah's bawdy song site, but none of them the version I remember from schooldays.
You may find Piss Pot Pete as well - I haven't checked

Sorry I don't have the URL to hand,but I have posted it here in the past. I think it may come up if you search google for 'saga daniel'

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: 53
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:08 AM

never heard of the song.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:35 PM

I have a notTOOO rude song about a piddling dog,which I recall seeing(after I'd learntit)in J T Edson western.I have the title 'Rex the Piddling Pup@

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: kendall
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 07:55 PM

I have a very nasty parody of Robert Service's Dangerous Dan, but, I won't post it here. If you want it, pm me.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Abby Sale
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 09:56 PM

llewtrah: http://www.armadillo.net/llewtrah/index.htm gives several versions & says: (Note: There are several different ballads bearing this name. The first one here has elements in common with Yukon Pete, Casey Jones and The Tinker; the others are somewhat different. Yukon Pete and Poor Lil (Yukon Lil) are other variants on the theme.)

ZiPpY's Hash House Harrier Songbook http://harrier.net/songs/
and
Flying Booger's Hash House Harrier Hymnal: http://www.half-mind.com/warning1.htm

Both offer any number of pissing & whoring songs but I don't see this.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:01 PM

Kendall Please post your e-mail.

I would REALLY like to see your version.

Sincerely,

Gargoyle

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:45 PM

It is with a moment of hesitation that this is posted. I have a feeling of an "OK Corral Ambush." It is "deja vu all over again" because:
1. Abby is back (welcome - you have been missed by at least one kindred soul)
2. I could have sworn it was posted to this thread or the Rugby Thread.
3. This classic is smeared ALL over the web.

Shel Silverstein perhaps borrowed the style/beat from Piss-Pot for his renowned "Smoke Out"

THE LEGEND OF PISS-POT PETE

A RECITATION

Gather round, children, for a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started way out west,
To settle a bet of who was best.

Now Old Lil fucked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to fuck her down.

Now news of this boast traveled far and wide.
Thousands of rod-riders came and died,
When down from Cuntville came Pisspot Pete,
With sixteen pounds of swinging meat.

Sixteen pounds of meat and twenty pounds of cod.
He wasn't a boy he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar.
I'll swear it stretched from thar to [hand motion] thar.

Stunk like shit. I thought I'd die.
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.

People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangy Whore and Piss-Pot Pete.

Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lil warmed up on an old cross-tie.
Oh, my God, how the splinters flied!

Pete came down Main Street like a southbound freight,
And Old Lil knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.

With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lil screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!

Lil let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark turned the sun.
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired his gun.

When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres Lil's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!

Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest,
Got on two horses and rode off West.

As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!

Now Old Pete died and he went to hell:
Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the walls,
Yelling, "Get him out before he fucks us all!"

He fucked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:49 PM

53

Back off, Jack off,
This is out of your league.

Sincerly,

Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: kendall
Date: 26 Oct 02 - 02:22 PM

How about I pm it to you, and, you may post it?

Subject: Lyr Add: PISS-POT PETE
From: GUEST,Dice
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 09:41 PM

A better version of Piss Pot Pete:

Way back from up in the hills
There lived an old whore by the name of Big Lil.
Well she fucked for pleasure and she fucked for keeps.
She piled her victims up in heaps.

Then through Shit Valley and up Syphilis Creek
Came a half-assed bastard by the name of Piss-Pot Pete.
He had snot in his whiskers and shit in his teeth,
And 45 pound of bone-hard meat.

He came into town and laid his dick on the bar.
Why, it must have stretched from here to thar!

"I hear there's a whore who claims no man can hold her down.
Well, you tell her Piss-Pot Pete's in town!
Was born on a cotton farm, worked like a slave.
Fuckin' and fightin' are all I crave."

Lil warmed up on a pole and park bench.
Pete drank 40 beers and fucked 40 cows to death.
He said, "You rank-ass whore, lay down on your back!"
And her cunt flopped open like a burlap sack.

They torn down trees and shrubs for miles around.
And Piss Pot Pete, well, he held her down.
He crammed two feet into the meat-sausage grinder,
And the whites of twelve eggs rolled down her thighs, and shit flew from behind her!

Big Lil pulled out all her best stunts,
Many stunts uncommon to the common cunt.
She stood on her hands and wiggled her feet.
Piss-Pot just kept cramming his meat.

Well she finally rolled over and died with a cough.
After which Piss-Pot commenced to jack off....

You can end it after that just like the other versions...and I know I'm forgetting one verse that involved shit-house doors and buttons, but whatever.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: kendall
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 08:07 AM

I knew all of those things when I was a teen ager, but, lack of demand, plus maturity, has made me forget much of them.

Subject: Lyr Add: UP JUMPED A MONKEY
From: Jacqk
Date: 25 Aug 04 - 12:37 AM

Just idle thoughts, but when I saw this, I thought military cadence. In fact, lines from it have been used in a military cadence. This one is posted several places on the net. It is to the same tune as "Airborne Ranger":

UP JUMPED A MONKEY

Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove
He was a mean motherfucker, you could tell by his clothes.
He wore a two-button ditty, and a three-button stitch
He was a loudmouth mother-fuckin' son of a bitch!

He lined a hundred women up against the wall
And bet anyone he could fuck them all.
He fucked 98 till his balls turn blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!

Alternate version:

Airborne Ranger was a hell of a man!
Walked through the bar with his cock in his hand!
Shit on the table and pissed on the floor.
Then wiped his ass with a ".44."

Lined a hundred women up against the wall.
Bet a hundred bucks he could fuck them all.
Fucked 98 till his cock turned blue.
Up-chucked, jammed up, fucked the other two.

When he died, he went to hell.
Fucked the devil's wife and his daughter as well.
On his gravestone it read in green:
Here lies a human FUCKING MACHINE


The song is to the tune of

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,Frank Marks
Date: 06 Sep 04 - 09:52 PM

there once was a ranger from coconut grove,
he was a mean muther fucker you could tell by his clothes,
he ran through the jungle with his cock in his hands
and said hey muther fucker i'm the king of these lands

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Sep 04 - 10:53 AM

Good God. This conjures up memories of delivering newspapers in about 1963 with my friend Lenny Baldauf. He knew The Ballad of Piss Pot Pete and could recite most of it to the astonishment and delight of me and the other guys in our crowd. Lenny's version had been adapted to the Louisville Ky locale.
"Outof the hills of Beargrass Creek
Come a rugged-ass bastard...Piss Pot Pete!
Boogers in his beard and shit on his feet
and 97 pounds of swingin' meat

Interesting how the quantity of "swingin' meat" varies from version to version, isn't it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,Tom, a guest
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 01:07 AM

The year was 1971, the place, Rogers High School in SW Michigan, Mr. Yonkers' Senior English class -- Dave, Jeff, Dane, Russ, and a few others amused ourselves with the following milder version...

The Ballad of Piss-Pot Pete

There was a school marm way out west
Where the women are wild and the screwing is best.

She was tough, and I'll tell ya, pard,
She laid many a man in the ol' school yard.

When she laid, she laid for keeps,
And piled her victims in great big heaps.

Now up Bare Ass Creek where women are sweet,
Lived a son-of-a-bitch named Piss Pot Pete.

Pete was a man both big and strong
and had a tool nearly three feet long.

There wasn't a woman who could boast of saying
That she had taken the whole thing laying.

When Lou heard of Pete's great big tool,
She challanged him to a screwin' duel.

Twenty jars of vasoline were used that night
To prepare Pete's tool for the coming fight.

People came from miles around
To watch Pete and Lou go round-n-round.

The climbed the hills and took a seat
To watch that half-breed sink his meat.

The fight was rough on Bare Ass Hill --
After twenty rounds they were going still.

Lou did tricks and lots of stunts
Completely unknown to common cunts.

Ol' Lou knew that she had met her fate,
But backing out now was just too damned late!

When she passed out with a sigh ... and a cough,
There stood Piss Pot Pete ... Jacking OFF!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 09:29 AM

Vance Randolph considered these variants of a recitation he called LADY LIL.

From Blow the Candle Out: "Unprintable" Ozark Folksongs and Folklore by Vance Randolph (Fayetteville : University of Arkansas Press, 1992), Vol. 2, page 668:

C. Contributed by Mr. G. P., Reeds Spring, Missouri, August 5, 1946. He learned the poem from a man named Blair, who called it "Piss-Pot Pete":

Lil was a schoolmarm from the West.
That's where she found the fuckin' best.
The word it come from miles around
That no two men could hold Lil down.

When out from the hills of Bare-Ass Creek
Comes a son-of-a-bitch called Piss-Pot Pete.
Lil knew damn well he was her fate,
But backing out was too damn late....

So off to the mountains to get a seat
And watch the half-breed sink his meat....

The ground was tore up for miles around
Where Lil's old ass had plowed the ground,
And Lil passed out with a sigh and a cough
While Piss-Pot Pete started jacking off.

D. Text from Mr. A. M., Columbia, Missouri, October 3, 1948. He heard it recited at Kirksville, Missouri in 1918. In 2:1, Greek, a Creek Indian is evidently meant, or was originally, as in C above:

Down in Louisville on a hill
There lived a gal, her name was Lil.
The fact was known for miles around
That no two men could hold her down.

When down from the hills came a bare-assed Greek.
That son-of-a-bitch was Piss-Pot Pete....

Now Piss-Pot Pete and little Lil
They chose a spot upon a hill
Behind a shit-house by the mill.

When Piss-Pot Pete pulled out his cock
...
Lil knew that she had met her fate,
But to back out now it was too late.

People came for miles to gain a seat,
To see that half-breed take his meat.

He threw her down into the mud,
And mounted her ass like a Belgian stud.
They fucked and fucked for hours and hours
A-tearing up trees and shrubs and flowers.

The earth was tore up for miles around
Where Lil's poor ass had hit the ground.
Lil passed out with a sigh and a cough
While Piss-Pot Pete stood jacking off.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: Severn
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:24 AM

I never learned it as Piss Pot Pete, but in my childhood parts of it as a Casey Jones parody.

But if I never knew Piss Pot Pete, I DID know "Goddam Sam, The Lavatory Man" if there's any interest in THAT......

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 11:46 AM

The version I heard in Louisville KY as a kid has several things in common with other versions sited here. "Lil" would seem to be the accepted name of the super woman who finally gave Piss Pot Pete his greatest test. The version I heard started "I'll tell you the story of Louisville Lil/Proudest whore in Louisville". Jim Dixon's version seems to also bear out a Louisville connection. I further notice that most versions contain a reference to "bare-assed Greek" or "Bare-ass Creek". I would contend that the original phrase might well have been "Out of the hills of Beargrass Creek", which is an actual watercourse in the Louisville area.
Has anyone considered the possibility that Pete and Lil were historical figures, and that the Great Coital Duel might actually have happened? Maybe archaeologists should get busy checking the Louisville area for Lil's butt ruts.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,Dutchman
Date: 25 Sep 09 - 12:54 PM

There once was a woman
Who had no shame.
She worked in a house
That had no name.
Over the hill come Piss-Pot Pete,
With 20 pounds of swingin' meat.
He knew his job,
He did it fast.
He shoved his balls right up her ass.
All of a sudden she ripped a fart
And blew his fucking balls apart.
Over the hill went Piss-Pot Pete,
With 20 pounds of Shredded Wheat!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss pot pete
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 25 Sep 09 - 08:15 PM

The version I know was written on the wall of a mountain hut near Arthur's Pass in New Zealand. It ended with the following verse, which has not appeared in this thread:

We buried Lil in a narrow grave
And we said a prayer her soul to save
And though she's gone, she's not forgotten--
We dig her up and use her often

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 09 - 03:56 PM

Twas the night of the king's castration, for tonight the royal ball came off.
Daniel and the 40000 loyal subjects sat around shooting the lion shit, for in those days bull shit had not yet been invented.
Come forth cried the king, but Daniel sliped on a hot lion turd and came fifth.
Oh shit cried the king, and Daniel and the 40000 loyal subjecs stooped and strained, for in those days the kings word was law.
Where is the queen, cried the king .
In bed with laryngitis, answered Daniel and the 40000 loyal subjects.
"What?" cried the king,"Does she preferring the prickling prick of a Prussian Prince to the Dangling dong of a Danish Duke?
"Oh fuck the queen,," cried the king, and Daniel and the 40000 loyal subjects trapled each other in the mad rush, for in those days the kings word was law.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,Bullethead
Date: 25 Jun 10 - 01:45 PM

I heard another version of this on a tape in the early 80s. I think it was done by Andrew Dice Clay, but I'm not sure. It differed only in a few places from the standard Pisspot Pete posted above.

THE BALLAD OF SHITHOUSE LIL AND LONESOME PETE

Fill yer glasses and take yer seat
I'll tell you the story of Shithouse Lil and Lonesome Pete

Now Shithouse Lil was the village queen
The fuckin'est whore you ever seen
There was a legend goin' 'round that town
Wasn't a man alive who could put Lil's ass down

But up in the Yukon where Twin Rivers meet
Lived a one-balled halfbreed named Lonesome Pete
One mornin' the wind gave him a whiff of Lil
So he rolled up his dick an' came on down the hill

... pretty much the same for a while ....

The actual contest went like this:

Well they fucked an' they fucked an' they fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs, an' flowers
They knocked over houses as they rolled around
Killed 10 horses and tore up the ground

Lil tried front flips, backflips, stunts
An' tricks unknown to most common cunts
But Pete hung on through every feat
An' kept rammin' in more of that red hot meat

Then Lil gave Pete a whorehouse squeeze
That knocked the halfbreed to his knees
But Pete came back with a Yukon grunt
That popped out her eyes and split her cunt

Lil rolled over, cut a fart, and sighed
"Boys, I been fucked", cut 2 more, and died
When they asked the halfbreed of his amazing feat
He said, "I'm goin' back to the Yukon an' beat my meat!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,Gene Berman
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 11:36 PM

It was late in the winter of seventy-five
And there's hardly a man that's now alive
Who remembers the famous date and event
And the pains that poor Nellie underwent.

Nell was a schoolteacher 'way out West
When she decided she liked fucking best
And when she fucked--she fucked for keeps
And stacked her victims in piles and heaps.

Now, it was a standing bet around our town
That there wan't a man to get ol' Nell down
When out of the West by way of Dragass Creek
Came a dirty half-breed by the name of Pete.

Down from the hills came Pisspot Pete
With forty pounds of swingin' meat.
And, when he laid it on O'Leary's bar
I swear it stretched from thar to that.

Now, we all knew poor Nell's fate
But to reneg our bets it was too late
So we arranged to set the till
Over by the shithouse on yonder hill
Where young and old could grab a seat
And watch that halfbreed sink his meat.

Now Nell tried tricks an' many stunts
And shunts unknown to common cunts
But, as she tried her every trick,
That halfbreed reeled out still more prick.

The land was scarred for miles around
Where Nell's white ass had dragged the ground
And we hung her panties on the bar-room door
In mem'ry of the gal who was no more.

First heard no later than 1951/Philly suburbs

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,Gene Berman
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 12:59 AM

Kendall:

I'd appreciate seeing your "Dangerous Dan." ([e-mail]) I knew one years ago
(heard in the 50s while hitch-hiking in the South) but only remember part:

A bunch of the boys were a-whoopin' it up in one of the Yukon halls.
The feller who played the music-box was a-stealthily scratchin' his balls.
The Fargo kid had his hand in the snatch of the gal who was known as "Lou"
While, down on the floor, on top of a whore,lay Dangerous Dan McGrew.

Then, out of the night, as black as a bitch, and into the din and smoke
Came a shitty old prick from up the crick with a rusty load in his poke

Quite a bit comes after which I entirely forget. I can't even remember whether I ever knew the entirety (but I suspect I did). The end is as follows;

And, when the lights came on again, what had happened--nobody knew.
But, there on the floor, with his asshole tore, lay Dangerous Dan
McGrew.

And, there's an alternate, in which the final words are "poor ol' Dangerous Dan" (so the rhyming would have required, as well, different words in the penultimate line).

The piece is said to follow one of Service's but I think has more owing to "The Face On the Bar-Room Floor," which isn't Service (tho'
he might have had a parody on that and the one in question aping the parody. Dunno-and not enough heart (or patience) for research anymore.

I'm partial to clever limericks and have written a few myself. (guess you could say I like doin' it doggerel-style). They're on the theme: "Far-out fun with far-in (as in foreign, of course) tongues," all of which employ other-language words or phrases interspersed with English. And, it's even possible that I'm the originator of the well-known one about the "merger between Continental Airlines and Aer Lingus, to be known as Connilingus." I "thought it up" almost immediately when I first heard of the airline, Aer Lingus, many years ago--and told many, though never published in any way--and it was quite a few years before I heard it again--on the Web, as it happened.

A Chinese chef named Chang
Cooked dishes of unusual tang.
For he stirred his wok with the tip of his cock
'Til oyster sauce poured from his wang.

(That's not actually of the "foreign tongues" type but was simply inspired by by the fact that I owned a Chinese restaurant.)


A beauty from Spanish Harlem by the name of Evita
Used only firm, plump bananas grown by Chiquita
To fill the hot space in her moist private place
When "yours truly" wasn't handy to've eat 'er.

Two bonny young lasses (twa't Scotchess)
Lay doon by yon bonny bank o' Loch Ness.
The monster appeared but 'twas ignored
Because both, grown quite bored,
Had submerged their heads in each other's crotches.

A bilingual couple, at their most usual fun,
Cried, "Soixante-neuf, it's so good, sixty-nine c'est si bon!"
Proving, my friend, indubitably (tres certemente, mon ami)
That two heads, like two tongues, are much better than one.

There are a few others but just can't remember 'em at the moment.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,THE CANADIAN
Date: 20 Oct 10 - 11:30 PM

I've been trying to find the correct version of "Pete & Lil" as mine is pretty bastardized. Seems there is a common thread. Here is mine:

Well let me tell you partner
That's no shit upon the seat
I just got back from the yukon
And the mud aint off my feet

Well I bet you nerver heard about the mangey whore name lil'
Well Lil was a schoolmarm before whe came west
But she gave up schoolin cuz she liked fuckin best

When Lil fucked, she fucked for keeps
And piled her victims up in heaps

Then over the hill from drag-arse creek
Came a sawed off bastard name of penis pete.

Well the contest was to take place between Pete and Lil
Behind the shit house on Duggans hill.

Well that whore was on to lots of stunts
and tricks not known to common cunts

But that half breed was on to every trick
And kept on reeling out more prick

Then through the portal of her ass
Nine feet of slimey penis passed

Then the victor he arose
And nailed her drawers to the shit house door...
In memory of that mangey whore Lil.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: kendall
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 08:54 AM

I hate to sound like a prude, but is all this misogynistic doggerel have any social redeeming value?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 09:09 AM

Dangerous Dan McGrew

Some of the boys were whooping it up in one of them Yukon halls,
The kid that played the music box stood leisurely scratching his balls
The Faro kid had his hand on the box of a girl named Sue
While down of the floor on top of a whore
Was Dangerous Dan McGrew.

Then , out of the dark that was black as a bitch and into the din and smoke stepped a shaky old prick with a ---inch dick
And a rusty load in his poke.
In his ragged clothes he stood ready to hose anything that came his way
He dangled his dong with a talented hand and howled that he wanted to play.
The lights went out and I fell to the floor as the stranger sprang in the dark

maybe a line missing here...,

With might and main and a great scream of pain a man's voice filled the room
With sighs and moans and farts and groans three forms lay stacked in the gloom,
The lights came on and the stranger rose with a satisfied look on his pan, and down on the floor with his asshole tore was poor old corn holed Dan.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 01:39 PM

Kendall, I can't speak for anyone else, but my interest is strictly scholastic.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: kendall
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 02:56 PM

I used to like this stuff when I was a teenager, but then I grew up and got to know women, so this sort of thing I find disgusting.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 04:25 PM

Kendall, I agree that Pisspot Pete is misogynistic doggerel of the first order. It also occurs to me that there have been numerous other threads on this Forum covering poems, songs and other social artifacts that reveal misogyny, racism, and obscenities of every type.
Are they a legitimate topic for discussion here? I believe they are. Those that find these sort of things extremely offensive, are best served by avoiding such threads, and least of all, not posting to them. What was entertaining to us as 12 year olds may no longer be suitable entertainment to us as adults, anymore than what was considered suitable entertainment to white audiences of the mid-1800s would be currently appropriate. But as cultural phenomena, they are of interest to some of us.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: saterry
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 12:07 PM

Rangy Lil

Don't move over pardner,
I didn't shit on the seat..
I just came down from the northland,
That's mud, not shit on my feet.

Don't move over pardner,
And I'll tell you a tale of law..
The sad, sad tale of Rangy Lil

Now, Lil taught school before she went west,
But she gave that up cause she liked fucking best..

Lil was a whore, she was awful loose,
And if you ain't goosed Lil than you just ain't goosed

When Ole Lil Fucked, she fucked for keeps
And piled victims up on heaps..

There was a standing bet around our town
No man alive could fuck her down!

But over the hill from Drag Ass Creek
Came a little shit named Half Assed Pete…

He laid his cock on Murphy's Bar,
Christ, it stretched from here to thar..

36 inches from stem to stern
a foot around with a cute little turn..

The people all came from the county seat,
To watch that halfbreed sink his meat..

Ole Lil knew she had met her fate,
But to call the bet off, it was just too late..

The place of the contest was set by Lil..
Behind the shithouse on Dugan Hill..

They started in like the summer's breeze
That whispers through the sycamore trees..

Lil tried cross fucks, and double stunts
And stunts unknown to the common cunts,

But Pete was with her every trick
And kept on reeling out more prick

Finally Pete, he shot his fire,
And Lil, gasped, and did expire..

We nailed her drawers to the shit house door,
In memory of that plucky whore… Rangy Lil

Author unknown. I heard it from my Dad, in the 70's, but he was in the Army during WW2, and he heard it during AA training at Ft Bliss in Texas. Along with some others I have listed below.


Various Rhymes and Limericks, Authors Unkown 1920-1940's dates of origination
Most with no title.



She ripped and she snorted, and shit on the floor
The wind from her ass blew the cat out the door

The pale moon shone on the nipples of her tits
And she cleans her teeth with Bluebird shit!


Cunt and cabbage fried in snot,
With two pickled assholes tied in a knot

MEXICAN WHORE

Way down in cunt valley,
Where the red river flows,
The cocksuckers flourish..
And the maidenheads grow..

the sweet Adeline the Queen of Some More,
was a hot fucking, cocksucking, Mexican whore..

She'll fuck ya
She'll suck ya
And chew on your nuts..
If you don't watch her
She'll suck out your guts!

She'll fuck for a quarter, less or more
That hot fucking cockcucking Mexican whore,

Now she is dead
And down in her tomb
The crickets and maggots
Chew on her womb

Still, she'll roll over and holler for more
She's a hot fucking, cocksucking, Mexican Whore!

MAN FROM NANTUCKET

There was an ole man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!





OLE WHORE FROM SAINT CLAIR

I fucked an ole whore from St Clair
I got her right down in the chair

The furniture broke and lost my stroke
And my musket went off in the air!

OLD WHORE FROM VIRGINIA

I fucked an ole whore from Virginia,
Goddamn her ole soul she was dead
The maggots ran out of her asshole
And the hair all fell off of her head!

There were many, many more.. If I can remember more I will come back and
Post them..   

There was one where in the text was the following:

Her lips were pink, like a rooster's dink,
And her hair was horseshit brown..

Then something like..

I'll fuck her when the sun goes down…

Yes these are raunchy, but truly these are a part of America's history, culture, and should be studied to investigate our heritage, truly if you don't like this stuff, then don't read it. But if you were born in the USA, this is part of your heritage, like it or not.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: saterry
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 12:35 PM

Did anyone ever understand the concept of freedom of speach, religion, right to keep and bear arms? Kendall?? The reason for that was to protect human rights, keep us from oppression, giving us the right to think for ourselves, express ourselves, and protect ones self, family and property. While what one person may find to be disgusting, isn't it cool that we do live in a country where we can post our thoughts, and pass down our true history, rather than the material that is picked out as being appropriate? What one person may find truly offensive, others may enjoy tremendously. To put it simply, diversity. I get a laugh out of this as it does bring back teen and early 20's life in my area of hillbilly, Northern PA. Now, since I am in my 50's, and have traveled all over our great country, the political correct version of American language, certainly is not mainstream. Saying that, local slang and culture, be it hillbilly, southern redneck, city slang, and business language, is all practiced by Americans. In my workplace, which has been from construction, factory work, managerial, oil field, and aviation. Cuss free language is not to be found. Is it less than ever now? Not really. And, it does not seem to follow education level, nor social level, if among close friends. Just in public you hear less cussing than in the past. So live on dirty stories, raunchy limericks, and tunes. It is part of us, again, like it or not. LOL

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Nov 10 - 05:25 PM

Kendall's remarks, as I understand them, have nothing whatever to do with "freedom of speech, religion, [or the] right to keep and bear arms."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Nov 10 - 05:40 PM

...and the original of that racist, altered bit of doggerel he called "mexican whore" was "Charlotte the Harlot" the cowpunchers whore.

"Charlotte" had a bit of clever rhythms and some humor in it.

I agree with Kendall that 'freedom' and 'taste' are quite different things. It disheartens me that some simply like to bellow naughty words...but *shrug*.. I wouldn't like to see their idea of entertainment banned.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 10:16 PM

Upon the mountain of bare ass creek lived a one balled bastard named piss pot pete. He pissed on his wiskers and shit on his feet 18 inches of swinging meat. He lined a hundred girls up against the wall and swore to the boys he would fuck them all. He fucked 98 till his balls turned blue then backed off, jacked off and fucked the other two. Piss Pot Pete died and went to hell he fucked the devil and he fucked him well. He had all the other devil's climbing the wall saying kill that bastard before he fucks us all.....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: -the day of the King's castration
From: GUEST,B.Gillis
Date: 11 Dec 10 - 09:30 AM

The version I remember, as far as it goes:

Twas the day of the king's castration,
The day of the king's last ball.
All the counts and no-accounts were seated about the hall, shooting the camel shit, for in those days bullshit hadn't been invented.
Sir Lancelot picked up a piece of shit and hurled it at random.
Random ducked and it hit the king.
"SHIT!" cried the king, and 40,000 loyal assholes heaved and strained in unison (for in those days the king's word was law).
Then in walked Daniel. "What?" cried Daniel.
"Any hole," said the king.
"Where's the princess?" said Daniel.
"In bed with laryngitis," said the king.
"I'll kill the Greek bastard," said Daniel. "Where's the Queen?"
"Fuck the Queen," said the King, and 40,000 loyal subjects were killed in the mad rush (for in those days the King's word was law).
The Queen emerged from the bedchamber ravaged and torn.
"Balls!" said the Queen. "If I had to I'd be King," and the King laughed, not because he wanted to, but because he felt he had two.
The Queen continued: "If I had three, I'd be a pawnshop, and if I had four, I'd take 1st base. If I had five, I'd be a pinball machine, and if I had six, I'd tilt."
"What a filthy crack!" said the King. "If I had one, I'd be Queen!"

I knew it as DANIEL IN THE LION'S DEN at college.

Subject: RE: KENDALL & Jim Dixon & Bill D
From: GUEST,saterry
Date: 11 Dec 10 - 02:30 PM

Kendall made a reference that this had no social redeeming value. My point is this, when one person or maybe more find this disgusting, they SCREAM loud and hard, and then soon we find things banned. Not that he made a particular reference to freedom of speech, or any portion of the bill of rights, and the constitution. I don't smoke. But, I don't care if someone else does. However, at the time, there was a minority of people who screamed loudly, and gradually smoking has been banned in most public places. Is it right for a LOUD minority to be able to enact laws that affect the public as a whole? If something OFFENDS you, click away from it. If the show on the TV is one you don't care for, then CHANGE the channel. Same as abortion. If you don't agree with one, then don't get one. Don't make laws that affect others, without first seeing if it really is for the public good, or just to satisfy a few LOUD people. Personally, I don't agree with abortion, but I am a man, and will never be faced with carrying a child. So, as such, it is NONE of my business.

The comment from Bill D about it being racist.. Well, yes, it sure is. Came from Ft Bliss TX in the early 40's Was the original as you state, truly the original? Was this published as you know it before that? Or was it a version that came later?

Taste: A matter of personal preference. As I pointed out, through my life which brought me in contact with MANY types of people, of varied education levels, including PhD, MD's, regular blue and white collar, to rednecks, and hillbillies, I found most men will come up with a lot of silly, to very raunchy, sexist, rude, filthy, jokes. In my personal experience, some of the most surprisingly filthy jokes and stories came from women in their 60's & 70's. The filthiest mouth I ever heard was a woman who at the time, (now deceased) in her 80's who was a retired PhD, with an MD, and a DC. She also spent many years in the classroom before her Graduate degrees as a one room school teacher and administrator in Northern PA. So is it TASTE?? I truly feel this mentality is human nature.

Sexist: This one I find truly FUNNY! Women, in my experience say the word CUNT, more than men do. When mad at another woman, many use more sexist remarks than any man would.

RACIST: Ok, here we go. A white man calling a black man a nigga. Yet, black men, and women use it as a term of endearment. The even call themselves that! I live in TX, and come in contact with many Hispanics. I have several Hispanic, and Black friends. Put those 2 races together to hear some really spicy language, and cut downs. These people are all Bachelors degree or higher, and I hear "Stupid Mexican, Lazy Nigga, etc" The old joke of why Mexican and Niggas don't breed cause their kids would be too lazy to steal, joke I first heard from a Mexican.

Do I personally cuss at every opportunity and use the word Fuck in every sentence? No. But I do find it interesting how rampant this type of language is among small circles, especially if you add a few shots of whiskey, or beers.

Tell me this: Why is it the raunchiest of comedians are making SO much money if this type of human language is NOT leaning toward mainstream?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,Pete's Brother
Date: 25 Apr 11 - 05:48 PM

Here's the one I grew up with:

Down by the beach where no one goes,
there lies Suzy without any clothes.
Over the hill comes Piss Pot Pete,
forty pounds of hangin' meat.
The very next day they found her dead,
cunt caved in and tits all red.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jun 11 - 10:13 AM

Down from the mountain and across the creek
Came a blue balled bastard named Piss Pot Pete
With snot on his whiskers and shit on his feet
and 88 pounds of dangling meat

it goes on similar to the above then:

I heard Lucy scream in the bushes but it weren't no use
That 88 pounds done cooked her goose

Heard when I was about 16 in Kissimmee Florida

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: GUEST,anon
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 11:53 PM

Here's the partial version I heard, was hoping somebody heard something similar. I think my dad told it to me when I was about 10 and he was buzzed and he and my mother argued as to how appropriate it was to pass on.
Please, someone else please help fill in the lines I am missing.

Two Ton Tessie was the talk of the town
They said no man could lay her down
When out from the bushes jumped Piss Pot Pete
99 inches of red hot meat

(I was young you, only remember so much at that age, but damn does it stick with you.)
blah blah blah something something


Piss Pot Pete had fucked her dead..

Wish I could remember more, any help would be grand.
thank you

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete
From: kendall
Date: 22 Sep 11 - 07:34 AM

saterry I asked a question, I get a pageant!

I used to get a hell of a kick out of such raunchy stuff, I also liked baseball and comic books, but, I grew up.
Nowhere did I imply that anyone shouldn't post this crap, but I guess I did hint that just because you can do something offensive you don't have to.