Lyr Req: Piss Pot Pete

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:49 PM

53

Back off, Jack off,
This is out of your league.

Sincerly,

Gargoyle

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:45 PM

It is with a moment of hesitation that this is posted. I have a feeling of an "OK Corral Ambush." It is "deja vu all over again" because:
1. Abby is back (welcome - you have been missed by at least one kindred soul)
2. I could have sworn it was posted to this thread or the Rugby Thread.
3. This classic is smeared ALL over the web.

Shel Silverstein perhaps borrowed the style/beat from Piss-Pot for his renowned "Smoke Out"

THE LEGEND OF PISS-POT PETE

A RECITATION

Gather round, children, for a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started way out west,
To settle a bet of who was best.

Now Old Lil fucked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to fuck her down.

Now news of this boast traveled far and wide.
Thousands of rod-riders came and died,
When down from Cuntville came Pisspot Pete,
With sixteen pounds of swinging meat.

Sixteen pounds of meat and twenty pounds of cod.
He wasn't a boy he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar.
I'll swear it stretched from thar to [hand motion] thar.

Stunk like shit. I thought I'd die.
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.

People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangy Whore and Piss-Pot Pete.

Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lil warmed up on an old cross-tie.
Oh, my God, how the splinters flied!

Pete came down Main Street like a southbound freight,
And Old Lil knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.

With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lil screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!

Lil let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark turned the sun.
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired his gun.

When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres Lil's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!

Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest,
Got on two horses and rode off West.

As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!

Now Old Pete died and he went to hell:
Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the walls,
Yelling, "Get him out before he fucks us all!"

He fucked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:01 PM

Kendall Please post your e-mail.

I would REALLY like to see your version.

Sincerely,

Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Abby Sale
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 09:56 PM

llewtrah: http://www.armadillo.net/llewtrah/index.htm gives several versions & says: (Note: There are several different ballads bearing this name. The first one here has elements in common with Yukon Pete, Casey Jones and The Tinker; the others are somewhat different. Yukon Pete and Poor Lil (Yukon Lil) are other variants on the theme.)

ZiPpY's Hash House Harrier Songbook http://harrier.net/songs/
and
Flying Booger's Hash House Harrier Hymnal: http://www.half-mind.com/warning1.htm

Both offer any number of pissing & whoring songs but I don't see this.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: kendall
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 07:55 PM

I have a very nasty parody of Robert Service's Dangerous Dan, but, I won't post it here. If you want it, pm me.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:35 PM

I have a notTOOO rude song about a piddling dog,which I recall seeing(after I'd learntit)in J T Edson western.I have the title 'Rex the Piddling Pup@

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: 53
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 11:08 AM

never heard of the song.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: pavane
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 07:36 AM

You can find several versions of the (prose recitation)'The night of the King's castration/Saga of Daniel/ballad of 69000' at Llewtrah's bawdy song site, but none of them the version I remember from schooldays.
You may find Piss Pot Pete as well - I haven't checked

Sorry I don't have the URL to hand,but I have posted it here in the past. I think it may come up if you search google for 'saga daniel'

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:14 AM

THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE

Now gather round children and I'll tell a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started a way out west,
To settle the bet of who was best.

Now Old Lill f*cked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to f*ck her down.

Now news of this boast traveled far and wide;
Thousands of rod-toters came and died;
When down from Knoxville came Pisspot Pete,
With eighteen pounds of Swinging Meat.

Eighteen pounds of meat and thirty pounds of cod;
He wasn't a boy--he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar;
I'll swear it stretched from thar to...........thar.

Stunk like shit, I thought I'd die;
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.

People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangey Whore and Piss Pot Pete.

Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lill warmed up on an old cross-tie;
Oh my God how the splinters did fly!

Pete came down Main Street like a south-bound freight,
And Old Lill knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.

With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lill screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!

Lill let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark came to the sun;
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired off his gun.

When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres, Lill's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled out in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!

Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest;
Got on two horses and rode off West.

As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!

Now Old Pete died and went to hell:
F*cked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the wall,
Yelling, "Get him out of here before he f*cks us all!"

He f*cked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!


there was a girl called jenny brown,
who thought no man could lay her down.
over the hills came piss-pot pete,
with twenty pounds of dangling meat.
he lay poor jenny on the grass,
and stuck his cock right up her ass.
poor old jenny did a fart,
and blew piss-pot pete's balls apart.
over the hills went piss-pot pete,
with twenty pounds of shredded meat!

Subject: RE: Ballad of the 69,000
From:
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:11 AM

Does anyone know the "Ballad of the 69 thousand"? I wouldlike to complete all the verses.

It starts out...

Twas the day of the kings castration...
The queen wanted a ball...
Chalk one up for the hairy beast

Shit said the king
and the whole nation squated and groaned
for in those days the kings word was law

The prince said where's the princess?
and The King said fuck the princess
and 69,000 were trampled in the rush

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From:
Date: 25 Oct 02 - 01:00 AM

I remember this from college days and I was trying to fill in the blanks(missing verses). Maybe someone can assist. I have a college reunion coming up and it would be fun. Anyway, as I recall...

There once was a man named piss pot pete with 20 lbs of swinging meat. He had a cock that wouldn't quit and a breath that smelt like panther shit.

Now piss pot pete that son of a bitch had the unfortunate luck to back his wagon into a whorehouse ditch. He bet a gallon of whiskey he could fuck them all and he lined them up against the wall. He fucked 98 till his balls turned blue, then backed off, jacked off and corn holed the last two.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: BSeed
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 02:39 AM

Gargoyle, my turn. The song you entered seems to have nothing to do with "Piss Pot Pete" but the word "piss." It's an interesting song, though; I'll have to give you that much. I hope somebody who sees it knows it and can enter it. --seed

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Les B
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 12:27 AM

I forgot to mention, like an idiot, that a compilation version of Eskimo Nell is in the database -- just type in "Eskimo Nell" in the search screen.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Les B
Date: 05 Nov 98 - 12:22 AM

From the verses described it sounds like a variation of "Eskimo Nell" which has a Peg Leg Pete in it. Lurking somewhere in my cassette library is a bootlegged copy of "Eskimo Nell" by two very posh sounding, slightly inebriated BBC radio announcers comparing their versions of this classic. It was supposedly recorded after a broadcast by an alert technician. Roger's right, however, after the first blush it's fairly adolescent.

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 09:39 PM

There are vague memories of this as a poem (quite bawdy and highly appealing to the adolescent male) You know, something like "Gather 'round boys and I'll give you a treat and tell you the story of Piss Pot Pete."

For once, I am glad I don't remember.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Piss pot pete
From: gargoyle
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 07:34 PM

Does it go someting like:

Boy! You call me Boy?
Sixteen pounds of swingin' meat
Balls as big around as pickle jars
Enough hair on my back to weave a Navajo Indian rug
Stand flat footed and piss in the radiator of a Mac truck
And you have the outragious, audacity, to call be a boy?

Heard this in the late 60's.....from some south US gents

There is a version that goes, on and on.

Subject: Piss pot pete
From: Allan S.
Date: 04 Nov 98 - 07:22 PM

Has any one heard of a song that starts with the words "Down from the hills came Piss pot Pete" This is a song that is said to exist. Suggstions are that it could be a variation of a poem by Robert Service. Any other ideas??