Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy

Subject: Lyr Add: MRS MURPHY
From: John M.
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 02:20 PM

Hello everyone,

I am seeking people who know the following song/recitation:

<e: (typed to a rap beat)
Good morning, Mrs Murphy. I praise your heart and soul.
I tried to fuck your daughter but I couldn't find her hole.

I finally found her hole beneath a golden flock.
God damn it, Mrs Murphy, I couldn't find my cock!

I finally found my cock beneath some folds of skin.
God damn it, Mrs Murphy, I couldn't get it in!

I finally got it in and wiggled it all about.
God damn it, Mrs Murphy, I couldn't get it out!

I finally got it out all black and bruised and sore.
God damn it, Mrs Murphy, your daughter wanted MORE!>

[From: Carol Mandera <mandera(AT)
lewis.MT.net>, Date: 1996/09/08,
Usenet: rec.motorcycles.harley]

The above text is from the Google Usenet archives. I am familiar with the song/recitation "Walking Down Canal Street" which is very similar (from Gargoyle):

CANAL STREET

Walking down Canal Street knocking every door,
Goddamn son-of-a-bitch! Couldn't find a whore.

Finally found a whore, trying to get it in,
Goddamn son-of-a-bitch! Couldn't get it in.

Finally got it in, trying to get it out,
Goddamn son-of-a-bitch! Couldn't get it out.

Finally got it out. The thing was red and sore.
The moral of this story: Never fuck a whore.

You can listen to a version of this song from 1967 here: www.immortalia.com

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: Snuffy
Date: 18 Sep 04 - 03:59 PM

Hi, John. Mostly similar to yours, but the version I learned as a kid has an extra couplet in the middle and another at the end.

Good morning, Mr Murphy. God bless your heart and soul.
I tried to fuck your daughter but I couldn't find her hole.

At last I found her hole underneath her frock,
Then, damn it, Mr Murphy, I couldn't find my cock!

At last I found my cock underneath my hand,
Then, damn it, Mr Murphy, I couldn't make it stand!

At last, I made it stand as straight as any pin,
Then, damn it, Mr Murphy, I couldn't get it in!

At last I got it in and wiggled it about,
Then, damn it, Mr Murphy, I couldn't get it out!

At last, I got it out all rosy red and sore,
Then, damn it, Mrs Murphy, the bugger wanted MORE.

I gave her more and more, as much as I could stand,
And now she's wheeling babies up and down the Strand.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 13 Nov 10 - 02:00 AM

By golly Mr Murphy, god bless my heart and soul
I tried to fuck your daughter but I couldn't find the hole.
And when I got it in sir, and wriggled all about
By golly Mr Murphy I couldn't get it out.
And when I got it out sir, it was so red and sore
By golly Mr Murphy I'd rather fuck a door.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST,Sridhar
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 06:26 AM

Here's the version I learnt as a kid:



Good morning Mr Murphy, Sir
God bless your heart and soul
I went to fuck your daughter, Sir
But I couldn't find her hole

At last I found her hole, Sir
It was beneath her frock
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't find my cock

At last I found my cock, Sir
It was inside my hand
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't make it stand

At last I made it stand, Sir
It stood up like a pin
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't push it in

At last I pushed in in, Sir
Your daughter gave a shout
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
I couldn't pull it out

At last I pulled it out, Sir
It came out black and sore
But dash it Mr Murphy, Sir
Your daughter asked for more!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 09:48 AM

This Is The Version I Was Taught :D



G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy, G'ord Bless Me 'eart An' Soul,
I Tried Ta Shag Your Daughter, But I Could'nt Find Da 'ole,
When I Found Da 'ole Up Da Pretty Frock, G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy I Couldn't Find Ma Cock,
When I Found Ma Cock And 'eld In Ma 'and, G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy I Couldn't Get It To Stand,
When I Got It Ta Stand As Straight As A Pin, G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy I Couldn't Get It In,
When I Got In And Wiggled It About, G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy I Couldnt Get It Out,
When I Got It Out All Red And Sore, G'ord Blimey Mrs.Murphy She Only Asked For More

(SING)
3 Months Later All Was Well,
6 Months Later Belly Begane To Swell,
9 Months Later Belly Went Pop,
Out Come A Baby With A 9 Inch Cook,
Ladies And Gentlman That Aint All,
Poor Little Fuckers Only Got 1 Ball

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 26 Sep 15 - 01:44 PM

I remember learning this aged 7 on a field trip attended by lads from a Catholic boarding school. Their version referred to Father Murphy,which added a certain piquancy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 26 Sep 15 - 05:10 PM

Dear Anon,

Wonderful addition, thank you.

For those who come aft...some details will truly make your contribution priceless:

When: approximate Date/Decade
Where: Geographic Location (sw liverpoole or sw Los Angeles)
How: written bawdy or school yard salute
Why: This piece has nostalgia for you

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Mrs Murphy
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 17 Mar 18 - 02:54 PM

Yes me too. I was about 7 or 8 in Littlebeck.