Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song

Subject: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: GUEST,Vinnie
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 07:57 PM

Hi All,

I'm getting married in Ireland soon and was looking for a comic song on a wedding theme to sing on the night, any ideas??

Thanks

Vinnie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Joybell
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 08:10 PM

Well there's a couple of "Fatal Wedding" songs here in the database. Depends on what you regard as funny. The Chad Morgan one is pretty extreme. Should go down a treat if you like black humour. Good luck. Joy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Bernard
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 08:26 PM

Side By Side parody... I changed the words when I couldn't remember it, so this isn't the original...

We got married on Friday
And I really thought it was my day
Till we went to our room
The new Bride and Groom
Side by side.

We got ready for bed, then
And I nearly dropped dead
When her leg and her hair
She laid on a chair
Side by side.

Her glass eye was followed
Closely by her teeth
When she took off her Playtex Longline
There was nothing underneath!

I was really downhearted
From most of my wife I'd been parted
So I slept on the chair
Cos there was more of her there!
Side by side.


It fits the tune loosely... ;o)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Gurney
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 04:20 AM

Be careful. I once told the old joke at a reception, you know, the one about the Mexican newlyweds and the burro, "I'm a-telling you once..." and the bride never spoke to me again.

It is a romantic and memorable day to the gentle sex. What strikes guys as funny may not be seen that way by your new wife on THAT occasion. Sing a love song, it will go down better.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Snuffy
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 08:51 AM

Mary Mack
The Drummer & the Cook
Whirly Whorl
(Maids when you're young) Never Wed an Old Man
Lots of versions of the dismembered bride family

etc. etc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Bernard
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 08:58 AM

Don't forget Leon Rosselson's 'Don't Get Married, Girls'!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:16 AM

There's a wonderful song from Lancashire a sort of sung toast to the newlyweds, done I think by Harry Boardman. It's on an LP called Deep Lancashire.
Giok

Subject: Lyr Add: GETTIN' WED (C A Clarke, Harry Boardman)
From: GUEST,LFF at Work
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:39 AM

That'll be this one, Giok

GETTIN' WED
(Words C A Clarke; tune Harry Boardman)

It corn't be helped, it corn't be stopped
When aw is done an' said
Whatever comes whatever goes
Young folks keep gettin' wed
Owd folk may kindly caution 'em
An' marriage woes proclaim
But young uns taks no heed of 'em
They just get wed awt' same

Young chaps feel lonely by theirsels
So does young women too
Therefore they go and tee theirsels
In knots they corn't undo.
But stil I wish aw happiness
On' mony a sunny way
To th'gradely lad an' bonny lass
That's reached their weddin' day.

Let each ha' t'other's confidence
An' may they never clem;
May they allus trust each other
E'en if t'grocer weren't trust them
May aw their life be good an' sweet
One endless towfymoon
No fawin' out - especially if
They're up in a balloon

Here's joy to 'em, here's luck to 'em
At booard an' at bed
May they never know that they are born
Still less that they are wed
And so I end this jolly rhyme
In a wish we all may share -
Th' best of health, an enoof o' wealth
To th' newly married pair.

The sleeve notes on the Deep Lancashire LP say:
This wry congratulatory song was written by Allen Clarke, who wrote under various pen-names such as Speedwell, Capanbells, etc., but who was more popularly known as 'Teddy Ashton'.
Clarke was born at Bolton in 1863. The son of cotton operatives, he founded 'Labour Light', the first Labour paper in Lancashire (1891). He also founded at various times @Bolton Trotter', 'Cotton Factory Times' and 'Teddy Ashton's Journal' (1896). Although Allen Clarke was a serious political writer, he made time to write many humorous sketches and poems. 'Gettin' Wed' is not only typical Teddy Ashton, but typical straight-faced Lancashire Humour. The tune adapted by Harry Boardman.

LFF (Who can't remember which bit of the internet he lifted this from)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:48 AM

There's always Spike Jones' take-off of I went to your wedding ... but if you want to stay friends with everyone, maybe it's better to avoid it.

Steve

Subject: Lyr Add: I WISH I WAS SINGLE AGAIN
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:53 AM

How about

I WISH I WAS SINGLE AGAIN

When I was single, Oh then, Oh then,
When I was single, Oh then,
When I was single,
My money did jingle,
I wish I was single again, again,
I wish I was single again.

I married me a wife, Oh then, Oh then,
I married me a wife, Oh then,
I married me a wife,
She's the plague of my LIfe,
And I wished I was single again, again,
I wished I was single again.

My wife she died, Oh then, Oh then,
My wife she died, Oh then,
My wife she died,
I laughed and I cried,
To think I was single again, again,
To think I was single again.

I married another, Oh then, Oh then,
I married another, Oh then,
I married another,
The devil's grandmother,
And I wished I was single again, again,
I wished I was single again.

Good luck with the wedding, anyway!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 11:10 AM

Skipjack beat me to it with 'I Wish I was Married Again' BUT I will add the penultimate verse -- :-

I went to her wake , Oh Then
I went to her wake , Oh then
I went to her wake , But not for her sake
But to view the young women again .

And as I have said in the past ,the Folkie crowd round here reckon a
couple arent properly wed unless the Copper Family's Wedding Song has been sung for them .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 01:41 PM

For a short one, there's Abe Burrow's:

"Oh how we danced on the night we were wed
I needed a wife like a hole in the head."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: vectis
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 06:28 PM

"The Wedding Song" from the singing of the Copper Family is always a good bet. Gentle humour and a happy ending.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Deckman
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 07:33 PM

Some years ago I heard a little ditty. I can't remember much of it, it went something like this:

"Why should I marry,
Are there no steeples, tall buildings to jump from,
Why should I marry, when I'd rather be dead ...."

Hopefully someone else can supply the song. CHEERS, Bob

Subject: Lyr Add: FLYING SAUCERS
From: GUEST,reggie miles
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 07:43 PM

"Flying Saucers", from an old 78rpm that I've now lost track of, around here somewhere....

What do alien space craft have to do with marital bliss? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Oh our marriage used to be
Like the sweetest harmony
Everything was peachy from the start

But like a rocket to the moon
It was over much too soon
The day she my head, she broke my heart

(chorus)
OOWWW! Flying saucers, flying saucers
Flying from the hands of my wife
Flying saucers, flying saucers
Are breaking up my happy wedding life

Last night I sure was blissed
When she threw a plate and missed
I cried this is goodbye to our romance

But she pleaded as she said
Though that plate just missed your head
I'm your wife and I deserve a second chance

(chorus)

So to science I declare
For those saucers in the air
Yu don't have to look to Jupiter or Mars

You can solve this mystery
Just find a woman who is free
Marry her and you will be soon be seeing stars

(chorus)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:38 PM

This was one of my favourites from when my age was in single digits... I used to love the sound effects of breaking crockery.

Subject: Lyr Add: BLOOD WEDDING (from Oysterband)
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 10:49 PM

Blood Wedding by Oysterband

"Do you take this woman?" I said, "Yes, I do
I love her like crazy and I think she loves me too
But we'll do without the family, if it's all the same to you"
Happy ever after...

Your mother is a flake: my father's full of shite
Your sister says you married me in white just for spite
Well a party's not a party `til it ends up in a fight
Happy ever after...

(chorus)
There was my lot, your lot, and us two in between
Please, God, this is the last time I get married
Please, God, this is the last time I get married

My brother's never short of any substance to abuse
There's rum and glue and Thunderbird and wizz and Special Brew
And any minute, now he'll show us ALL of his tattoos
Happy ever after...

The nephews are obnoxious; the nieces are too tall
There's a dozen drunken uncles pissing up against the wall
And Granddad is still grinning, but there's no one home at all
Happy ever after...

(chorus)

(bridge)
For richer or poorer, for better or for worse
Now we are married: a blessing or a curse
Kiss me and don't forget
What you see is what you get

(break)

And the best man is the worst man; the best man is a beast
He's underneath the table with the sister of the priest
And the way he's going at it, she is probably deceased
Happy ever after...

Granny's on the brandy and getting bleary-eyed
One of your old boyfriends wants to talk to me outside
Now someone's pulled the bridesmaid; has anyone seen the bride?
Happy ever after...

(chorus)

la da da da da....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 04:25 PM

What is the joke about "the Mexican newlyweds and the burro"??????

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 04:33 PM

It's not necessarily about weddings, John Prines "In Spite Of Ourselves" is a great relationship song...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: 42
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 05:58 PM

Canadian Stringband alumnus Bob Bossin penned a very clever tune.

not sure what the title is though.

j

i'll go look

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: 42
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 06:09 PM

that Bob Bossin song (Ya Wanna Marry Me) is available in real audio or as an mp3 at this address...I'm not sure how to make it blue

http://www.island.net/~oldfolk/jukebox.htm

best of luck with whatever

j

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 08:41 PM

Note: Blue clickies are reserved for Blues Songs - please use other colours as appropriate for other Genres.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: leeneia
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 11:04 AM

Vinnie, have you lost your mind? Pay heed to Gurney's advice above.

The place for a comic (i.e., smartass) song about marriage is the bachelor party, which, with any luck, will be cancelled.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From:
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 12:08 PM

How about The Monkey's Wedding?

The monkey married the baboon's sister,
Give her a hug and then he kissed her,
Kissed her so hard she raised a blister,
She set up a yell.
Bridegroom stuck on some court plaster,
Stuck so hard it couldn't stick faster,
Surely was a sad disaster,
But it soon got well.

What do you think the bride was dressed in...etc.

Song is in Sandburg's American Songbag, probably in Digitrad too, I haven't looked. (Lazy me. But you could.) -- Bob C

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 05:08 AM

Clancy's Wooden Wedding.

eric

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: GUEST,Observer
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 05:16 AM

Cyril Tawney's Jenny Wren Bride?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Comic Wedding Song
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 09:41 AM

Eric, I Wooden sing that song at a Wedding...