Old People in small Cars.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 06:53 PM

Oh - I'm old too. Don't try it with the wheels.

And don't try it with crippled Tony I used to lecture: older than me but who had checked what his 24 valve Senator will do. Trust me, it's plenty.

And don't try it with Don either, who has a very good idea what his Omega will do. It can't hold the senator, but it ain't a piker.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 03:36 PM

Let's stop all this ageism, it's going to be illegal in about eighteen months, and rightly so.

Some old people drive slowly. So what? It may show that they know a lot more about the limitations of their reflexes than some of the boy racers, taxi drivers, white van men, pizza delivery boys, who make the roads a lottery for the public, in which the jackpot is an undeserved visit to the morgue.

Please note, I said SOME! Don't try to extrapolate from one incident (or even a dozen) to a sweeping, and unjustifiable generalisation.

There are bad drivers in every age group........and damn good ones too.

I feel better now.......beam me up Scotty.

DT

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 07:59 AM

I came across a fiddle tune the other day, called 'Squirrel Heads and Gravy' - what a great title!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Boab
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 02:06 AM

Oh jeeze---I spelled yer name wrong! Im on my knees---fergive me!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Boab
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 02:01 AM

joHn----MG thinks I'm in my dotage, I drive a three-cylider Geo Metro, but I'm still glad you have turned up safe [and sound?]

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: number 6
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:25 PM

Good to see ya back John !!

You should have run over that Nissan Micra. You could have scraped it our of yer tire treads after with a flat edged screwdriver after the delivery.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,Milkie
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:43 PM

Squirrels have pretty little faces.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 10 Oct 04 - 02:52 AM

Aaaaahh!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: leeneia
Date: 09 Oct 04 - 10:08 PM

My dictionary says that a revenant is a person who returns after a long absence or after death, hence a ghost or apparition. However, I have read a few critical works on folklore which state that a revenant is the actual body of one who has died, said body being able to move and to speak. Revenants often disappear at daybreak.

For example, in the ballad "Cruel Mother" in which a young woman kills her illegitimate twin babes, the babes appear as revenants and pronounce the penances she must make.

No doubt the old people in Hull were seeing something like that.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Oct 04 - 02:46 AM

jOhn, is that YOU?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 11:45 PM

But the worest preblom of al is wehn you gets wee little SMALL, OLD, people in ENORMOUS OLD cars; tehy cahn't see ot of em, tehy cahn't see much of nothin enymore enyhow, they got no releckses if nothin happen, its jest awrful.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Peace
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 09:40 PM

GUEST Baggins--

if Bs were Ds, would you change your name?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Bentley
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 08:14 PM

| makem home | discography index | lyrics |


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will that do ye?


RED-VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER DRIVER
I remember one day, I was riding along
On the Liverpool highway singing my song
And the day was as good as the road it was long
I was on my way
When just up ahead, a black speck appeared
And as I drew near, it was just as I feared
Doing twenty-five miles an hour in top gear
In the outside lane
Oh, dear me, Glory be, one of them I could see
It was a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Chorus:
Tra la la, la-la-la-la
la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la

Well, he and his wife, they sat side by side
In their safety belts, they were safely tied
And together, they rode through the green countryside
That they could not see
He had two dingle-dangles that hung by a string
From the mirror and in the back window this thing
That kept bobbing its head up and down the singular stair at me
Up and down, side to side, keep your eyes open wide
For the red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

He has two china ducks on his living-room wall
And a bowl of pink, plastic flowers in the hall
And a souvenir ashtray that he bought in port-call
On his holiday
And when he gets back, he goes straight to his chair
And he turns on the telly and all night he'll stare
At the girls and the gunfights and wish he were there
But he's here to stay
When he regrets what he didn't see
Then he will switch to ITV
'Cause he's a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Well, each Friday morning, he takes his basket
To town and he goes to the big supermarket
And he looks up and down and thinks oh, what a task
It's so hard to choose
For there's apple sponge pudding all topped with tasty-freeze
Ready cut loaves, instant cake mix and frozen peas
All of those fifty-seven varieties
Fresh today
Hermetically sealed, untouched by human hands
Just 'neath those tins, think of all those gifts you might win
When you're a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Well, it's Saturday night, it's a night for a fling
So, throw on your glad-bags, ring-a-ding ding
And go down to the hall for a good game of bingo and cups of tea
Then it's back into bed and turn off the light
Puff the hot-water bottle, sweet dreams and sleep tight
And God keep us from things that go bump in the night
But especially
All of those dreams of the day, when our own children will say
"My dad's a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver"




©2002 Makem.com

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 02:30 PM

They may have stopped by the cemetary to look at their next home. Probably hate squiggles!
Giok

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: frogprince
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 02:02 PM

I wanna know too; whats a revenant?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 01:58 PM

Thread obvioustly started by the only white van driver who is too illiterate to get onto uk.transport

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,Bilbo
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 01:37 PM

Less from Hull is what we need more of around here.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 01:27 PM

I say, make all old people take a road test once a year!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 12:46 PM

Wahts a revenant?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Midchuck
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 12:37 PM

You Brits think you have problems! Old people in small cars are no big deal. In the US we get lots of old people in

ENORMOUS

cars, that they bought back when gas was 50c a gallon.

Driving real slow. On narrow roads. Or in the left lane (right lane if you're British) on the interstate (motorway if you're British).

Peter.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 10:13 AM

Ted
Thanks for your helpful suggestion its a while since I used such tackle so I might accidently take out the bloody labradours next door as well!!!! At least it will frighten the tree rats,
Hang on though if they were really frightened that would mean even more SkwirrelZhit

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: leeneia
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 09:37 AM

To get back to the old people who stopped at the cemetery, how do you know they were looking at a squirrel? Perhaps they saw a ghost or a revenant. There could be a great folk song here, but it will be hard to think of a rhyme for "curry delivery."

And you, were you tailgating? Are you one of those people who tailgate a little old driver, then get angry when you've boxed yourself in? Driving is like chess. You should always be thinking a number of moves ahead.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 07:58 AM

And at least 'Ull people have a sense of humour (yep that's the correct spelling, Martian).

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 05:35 AM

YORKSHIRE 4

Lankashure 0 !!!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 04:49 AM

Don't knock Martin, guys! He is every bit a part of the Hull threads as jOhn. Think about it. He knows that it is Hull thread. He knows Sir j started it yet he still joins in:-) I think that Hullophobia is a good healthy attitude. We could develop a Hull/Chicago antagonism equal to Lancashire and Yorkshire!

I have been to both Hull and Chicago btw. I still don't know how Martin can say Hull is dull...;-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,The commisioner for lunacy UK
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 04:44 AM

The Dept of Health hereby announce that there will be a new lunatic asylum built in Yorkshire. One wall will be in Immingham, and the other in Beverly, with the roof going over Hull. This shows that for once the government is listening to the demands of the people!

Yours every 28 days.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,Secret Squirrel
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 04:38 AM

Don't worry, Sir jOhn ! As you will see HERE my assistant Morocco and I have arrived on the scene, to keep the streets and squirrels of your fine city safe from those pesky pensioner curb crawlers !   

Can we put in an order from your Curry Ship ? Will leave our order details in lowest branch of big oak tree in park. Off now to our Secret Surveillance Location.

SS and MM

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Gervase
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 04:10 AM

...but the absolute worst is when you find yourself stuck behind a 12-year-old Ford Fiasco, chugging along at 3 miles an hour and three birianis going cold in the back, and at the wheel is an elderly squirrel wearing a trilby. Little bastard stops at every bloody tree and says: "Coo, look at them nuts, Elsie!".
At least rats drive fast.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,Con Brio
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 03:43 AM

Martin Gibson do everyone a big favour and fuck off. You need to get a life and a shrink, you have a major problem get it seen to, get help.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 03:36 AM

I see too many squirrels in my own garden, eating our hazel nuts before Herself can get her share and digging up our bulbs, to worry too much about contributing to roadkill.

RtS
(nearly 61 driving a Ford Ka)

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 03:22 AM

Shoot the buggers then Andy! I can lend you a rifle if you want, nice 4 x 40 scope, silencer, just the job.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 03:11 AM

jOhn
I live across the prarie from Hull in a little encampment called Beverley I have 3Sheds Sheds are good. Unfortunately I am plauged with skwirrilz

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 02:36 AM

jOhn, DON'T GET INTO A FIGHT WITH A SQUIRREL, by any name. They move like lightning and can fight like a threshing machine, and won't quit. I'm not joking, I've seen the scars on a friend.

Before Les was retyred, was he on Dunlops?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 01:33 AM

:-)

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Bert
Date: 08 Oct 04 - 01:30 AM

Martin Gobson (or Kay Larivee or Harmony Taylor or whatever your name is) if you don't see what there is in this thread then why do you post to it?

It takes someone of the intelligence of Sir John to understand it.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 09:21 PM

martin gibbon=just get lost, you donyt know nothing about it , so just shut up.
john.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Once Famous
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 09:18 PM

This is just another example of why Hull is dull.

Sorry, I don't know what you see in this crap.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 09:17 PM

Waht?
i dont under stand your'e messadge.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 09:11 PM

jOhn, ye're a glaikit shilpit wee bauchle wi no eneuch mense tae let ye ken ye've nane; hae ye a cleek for yer girr?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Mudlark
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:24 PM

Oh, I think yull no it wen you see it....

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:22 PM

anyay=some people moan if curry late=
"especially if they drunk [lot drunk peoplol in hull]
they saying "were you been you basterd, and " I wait ages you arseole etc."

but if they order can drink=i shake it up, and serve them right!

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:18 PM

[scary noise is like this=BERRRRRRRR!
but sqwerill not scared, i think he's a hard bastard sqerill, ie doesent give a shit.
but i dont think he shitted in my garden.

waht does sqwerill shit luck like?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:15 PM

anyway= ! day i going to work, and see a sqwerrill in my garden, [just hanging about looking susspishus],
i told it to fuck off, and get lost [and i put my arms out and make scary noise].

i dont want no sqwerill shit in my garden.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:11 PM

Three Sheds=are you a Red Indian Person?
[Threee Shed name is sound like red indian person.
so how you know about hull then?

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: ThreeSheds
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:07 PM

You are being unfair on old people in cars its those who wear hats trilbys rounders caps that you need wory about they are oblivious to the fact that they are in a vehicle
As for Skwirulls those little bastards keep nibbling my hazel nuts (I know it could be worse) and they piss off my aged collie who thinks he should climb trees and nail the bastards which he should but cant, There should be more experiments on Skuwrilz
Why not make squirell Fingers at Birds Eye and give the yellow bellys a job

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:06 PM

any way=Les should be good at spilling, becase he wemt to private scool, [i think is called hull trinity grammer scool" or something, not sure really.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:02 PM

oh.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Joybell
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 08:00 PM

Possums run on roads here. They don't come out by day though. I lived on Hull road once but it's in Australia so you probably can't get to your place on it Sir jOhn. Pity! Joy

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 07:59 PM

LEs-How you spelling Sqwerrill?
[les good at spelling, [he;s old, and he used to work for hull council before he got retyred.

Subject: RE: Old People in small Cars.
From: Les from Hull
Date: 07 Oct 04 - 07:58 PM

I'm only happy with cars when I'm cadging a lift. I'm a cyclist. Everybody else is the enemy!