LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:56 PM

Oh No It Wasn't!

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 06:21 PM

The pun on "Willy" strikes me as rather daring, but perhaps it was accidental.

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:34 PM

You can play or download Gracie Fields singing WHAT CAN YOU GIVE A NUDIST ON HIS BIRTHDAY at The Internet Archive. It's song #5 on that page.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req:What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday
From: Girl Friday
Date: 21 Jan 06 - 09:57 PM

Tone Deaf Leopard do "The Nudist Song" . It was written with Dave Bryant in mind, and he got to hear it a few times too.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req:What Can You Give a Nudist on His Birthday
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Jan 06 - 02:56 PM

allmusic lists two CDs that contain WHAT CAN YOU GIVE A NUDIST ON HIS BIRTHDAY?, both by Gracie Fields: "You Have to Laugh Don't You?" ASV/Living Era #5210, 1997; and "Our Gracie: 23 Favorites 1928-1947," ASV/Living Era #5259, 1998.

The composer was "A. Le Clerq"

Fortunately, one of the sound samples I listened to contained the "mystery line" marked with question marks above. I believe it should be:

"I've been in holy terror that I make an error."

There is also WHAT CAN YOU GET A NUDIST FOR HER BIRTHDAY? recorded by Bea Arthur on "Bea Arthur on Broadway: Just Between Friends," DRG #12993, 2002. Here's an excerpt:

...So what I want to know:
What can you get a nudist for her birthday?
What kind of birthday present can you buy?
Tell me, on the level, can I send her a muff?
[Followed by a long pause in which the audience laughs. Another forum says the following line is:
"I know it's true they wear a smile, but that can't be enough."]

A web page called Sounds of the Music Hall: A Discography lists an album called "Treading The Boards: Stars of Music Hall and Variety" which contains Leslie Sarony's recording of WHAT CAN YOU GIVE A NUDIST ON HER BIRTHDAY?

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 08:23 PM

Happy Birthday suit, right?

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: Genie
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 08:21 PM

Well, don't give him a suit.

He's already got one of those and he's wearing it. ;-D

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 10:26 AM

Maybe a nudespaper subscription.

I hear that, as readership has been going down, so has the amount they cover.---Very sad!

But if he/she is an emperor/empress, they aren't wearing anything anyhow---no matter what they say!!!!!!

That's the naked truth of it.

The real skinny...

Art

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 10:13 AM

A look?

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 10:12 AM

A tummy tuck? A butt lift????

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 07:45 AM

a mirror?

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:31 PM

Bea Arthur may have done it in a Broadway show.

"What do you give a nudist for her birthday?"

Subject: RE: LyrReq: What Can You Give a Nudist on Her Birthday
From: GUEST,Fynn Titford-Mock
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:19 PM

Well, you've got the gracie fields version of the words (where the nudist is male)- but i want the leslie sarony version (where the nudist is female)! I have it on 78, but the words are rather indecipherable most of the time.

the verse i can remember fully:


Can i ask you a question?
Yes!
A question!
What?
A question?!
It's something i can't figure out - I hope you won't say no
No!
It's all about my sister
what?
my sister!
who?
my sister!
oh!
She's joined a nudist colony, so what I want to know -
What can you give a nudist for her birthday?
[[a word that sounds like "charleston!"-??]]
the things i used to buy her would be wrong -
I'd send a cheque, but dash it! how could she go out and cash it?!
what can you give a nudist when her birthday comes along?





the other verses won't make sense written down by me, but if anyone can help any more than this feeble effort, i'd be very grateful

Fynn

Fynn Titford-Mock

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: screwsoaper
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:50 PM

To Long Firm Freddie

You wrote:I have a CD of 1930's silliness that has Leslie Holmes (who teamed up with the incomparable Leslie Sarony as The Two Leslies) singing "What Can You Give a Nudist for His Birthday?".


Sounds Great! Can you supply CD Details - Or even burn a copy for me?
Perhaps in return I may have something of interest to you.
phone: [phone] email: [e-mail] Website www.folkclub.com/folkodyssey/
Regards
dr

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:10 PM

What can you give a nudist on her birthday

I don't know, but give her one from me!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 12:12 PM

Better ask Essex Girl - it's her birthday a week before Christmas.

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 08:53 PM

I suspect that last line would be:

And he's always smoking too, that's good, thank you very much [ha-ha]

And I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone might have produced a female version of the song, "What can you give a nudist on her birthday". It'd probably be a bit bluer. I can imagine Max Miller having it in his repertoire.

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: screwsoaper
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 08:41 PM

Thank you one and all for 'Nudist' words.
by Gracie. I now also know thar it was
recorded in the late thirties by Lesley Sarony.
He also perfomed with Lesley Holmes and in ITMA
with Tommy Hamdley

dr

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthda
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 05:25 AM

I have a CD of 1930's silliness that has Leslie Holmes (who teamed up with the incomparable Leslie Sarony as The Two Leslies) singing "What Can You Give a Nudist for His Birthday?".

It's the same song as Gracie's but with gender references relevant to a lady nudist, and a good deal of patter between verses.

I shall look it out and transcribe it, but it might be a while yet.

LFF

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 10:40 PM

A bulk lot of sunscreen would probably go down well....!

LTS

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: Billy the Bus
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 09:36 PM

Ripper work Dave,

'Tis one of my favourite 'Gracie' songs. The only recording I have gives the following Credits...

What can you give...
(Le Clerq)
With orchestra conducted by Percival Mackey
CKAA634-2, recorded Oct 9, 1934

Anyway... as to the present?

I'd delve into the family photo album, to find the first snapshot which doting mum put there -- of brother in his bare skin on the bear skin. A mirror should be added, so he can check the change (or change the cheque). It should be enough to induce a cover-up...

Cheers - Sam

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: frogprince
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 07:31 PM

Thought for a minute that someone wanted to buy something for my Mrs., but hear birthday isn't for 8 months yet...

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, Salt Town Poets
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 06:36 PM

Sorry about this, but the title should be 'What Can You Give A Nudist on HIS Birthday'. It doesn't work for the opposite gender for obvious reasons. I can't remember where the lyrics originally came from, but I got them from our files without, I have to confess, checking to see whether they'd ever been corrected (hence 'sought' instead of 'sort').
Slapdash work on my part. I'll give nmyself a smack on the wrist.

DGR

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthda
From: Peace
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 06:28 PM

Whew. Glad that was handled so quickly. I thought the thread title was a general question, and I didn't quite know how to deal with the response, as it were.

Subject: RE: Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthday
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, Salt Town Poets
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 05:59 PM

Indeed. And there's a song called 'Nudist Colony' which Bernard Wrigley does from time to time.

DGR

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthd
From: Deckman
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 02:01 PM

Oh, and don't ferget "Professor Seagull's" song, from "McSorely's Wonderful Saloon."

"In the Winter I'm a buddhist,
In the Summer I'm a nudist!"

CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthd
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, Salt Town Poets
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 11:35 AM

Of course it should.

DGR

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What can you give a nudist on her bir
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 11:22 AM

That should, of course, be "what sort", not "what sought"--regardless of how she sang it.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT CAN YOU GIVE A NUDIST ON HIS BIRTHDA
From: GUEST,Dave Roberts, Salt Town Poets
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 03:52 AM

Here you go:


WHAT CAN YOU GIVE A NUDIST ON HIS BIRTHDAY
(No idea who wrote this, but it was recorded by Gracie Fields)

Oh, dear! I am worried. [Ha-ha-ha-ha!]
I know I'm laughin' really, but I am worried.
It's my brother's birthday and I don't know what to buy him. Oh, dear!

Can I ask you a question, a question that's silly?
It's something I can't figure out. I hope you won't say no.
It's all about me brother, me brother, John Willy.
He's joined a nudist colony so what I want to know—

What can you buy a nudist on his birthday, birthday?
What sought sort of birthday present can you buy?
I can't think what to give 'im, no matter how I try.
Do you think he would be allowed to wear his old school tie? [Ha-ha!]

What can you give a nudist for a present? [Ha-ha!]
The things I used to buy him would be wrong.
I'd send a cheque but, dash it, how could he go out and cash it? [Ha-ha!]
What can you give a nudist when his birthday comes along? [Ha-ha!]

What can you give a nudist for his birthday?
What sought sort of birthday present can you buy?
I bought a pair of braces, just like a silly pup,
But what's the good of braces if there's nowt wants holdin' up? [Ha-ha!]

What can you give a nudist for a present? [Ha-ha!]
I'm sure a bowler hat would be all wrong.
And he's not the kind of fella who would need an umbrella.
Oh, what can you give a nudist when his birthday comes along? Oh, dear, dear! [Ha-ha!]

I've been in holy terror the time they that I make an error.
I did think of a camera, but snapshots are taboo.
A bicycle sounds stupid when you're dressed up like cupid.
I must send somethin' soon, and oh, that's why I'm askin' you.

What can you give a nudist on his birthday?
What sought sort of birthday present can you buy?
And here's another riddle, but give it up I won't:
When at a dance, do they wear fancy dress or do they don't?

What can you give a nudist for a present? [Ha-ha!]
I somehow think that cuff links would be wrong.
And a watch chain would look silly draped across the front of Willy.
What can you give a [Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha....]

What can you give a nudist on his birthday?
What sought sort of birthday present can you buy?
I have heard that they play hockey, so something I have got,
But I don't know for certain if they wear shin guards or not.

What can you give a nudist for a present?
A shop girl told me spats would be all wrong.
She said, "Good gracious, madam! Just imagine spats on Adam!" [Ha-ha!]
What can you give a nudist when his birthday comes along? [Ha-ha-ha!]

Oh, dear, dear! What can I buy? No, let's be—really there is no—honest, what can I buy?
—A lump of soap.
—A lump of soap! Ooh, that's a good idea: a lump of soap! And he's always smoky too. That's good. Thank you very much! [Ha-ha!]


Cheers,

Dave Roberts

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthd
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 03:24 AM

Dermott, it seems like you are fairly new here - the words, if anybody can track them down, will normally be posted in this thread. How long that takes is unknown, depends on who else is passing by.

Subject: Lyr Req: What can you give a nudist on her birthd
From: GUEST,Dermott
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:04 AM

I am trying to get the words to the song 'What Can You Give a Nudist On Her Birthday.

my address is [e-mail]