BS: Humor to soften the blow

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:22 PM

One recycled from the impeachment archive I suspect

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:56 AM

Copied from another thread, where it was posted by an unnamed GUEST:

In the spirit of reconciliation with my Republican friends and neighbors, I offer the following poem:

The election is over, the results are now known.
The will of the people has clearly been shown.

We should show by our thoughts and our words and our deeds
That unity is just what our country now needs.

Let's all get together. Let bitterness pass.
I'll hug your elephant. You kiss my ass.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 11:13 PM

Bush salutes the flag (photo)

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 01:07 PM

Probably so, Larry! :>)


A

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 10:40 AM

Amos- I am sure you would have found it much funnier had it been about Bush.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:19 AM

Appreciate the cartoons, Bill. Gave me a few laughs. Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:17 AM

Larry:

A poor effort, not least because it misses the real nature of a good person.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:12 AM

Heard this from Wanda Sykes on TV yesterday:

"You gotta be for George Bush. You can't be against him. That would be like booing at the Special Olympics."

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 10 Nov 04 - 11:15 AM

Here is a parody I just wrote (this mourning) Hope you enjoy

Kerry   (to the tune of "Carey" by Joni Mithcell)

The vote is in from Florida, last night I couldn't sleep
Oh, you know it sure is hard to know you Kerry
Cause you're really not your own
Your fingernails are perfect, you got moose jell in your hair
And I miss the orange suntan, and the fancy French cologne

Oh Kerry, get on your plane, and spend your gold and silver
Oh, you're a reall flip flopper, but I like you fine

Oh come on down to the Wal Mart Plaza & I will buy you a gun to shoot
And we'll lie and boast we're hunters & put the local people down
Lets tell another lie for these hicks and rednecks
A lie for these empty suits
Let's have another lie for these dumb advisers
Who bring me to this tourist town

Come on Kerry get on your yacht, you're wife's got lots of silver
Oh, you're a real bad loser but I like you

Maybe you'll go to New Hampshire, or maybe you'll go back home
We'll take out the cabin cruiser & put some wind surfers by the door
But lets not talk about Viet Nam now & where the Swift boats roam
And they're playing that silly speech you made
Down on the Senate floor

Come on Kerry, get on your jet, invest in mines of silver
You're a real elistist but I like you

Oh the vote is in from Ohio, I can finally go to sleep
Oh your know for sure you're a loser
And it's time for you to go back home
Maybe its been too long a time
since you were handing with those on the street
Now you're used to that Bean Town Penthouse & Theresa Heinz Cologne

Oh Kerry, get out of here, We all say Hi Ho Silver
We'll get a U. N. Charter, have fun tonight
I said Oh, you're aa mean old loser, so get out of sight

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 10:58 PM

thats a damn good cartoon, Bill

freda

(worked as a cartoonist & caricaturist in the 80s)

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 10:40 PM

hey! Refresh! They're funny, folks!

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 05:54 PM

more, more...we need more!

REALLY scary (cartoon by Bill Day, it says....hmmmmmm....must run in the family)

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Mudlark
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 11:39 AM

Thanks, Mudcatters...just what the doctor ordered.

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 11:25 AM

...and a few images, a couple un-retouched...


the wind whistles

no comment

reading lesson

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 04 - 11:11 AM

and more...
foreign cartoons

by Patrick Chappatte, Geneva

Patrick Corrigan, Toronto

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:03 PM

more...

Pat Bagley

Scott Bateman

Matt Davies

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM

some of my favorite cartoons recently...
Steve Sack

Lalo Alcaraz

Chuck Asay

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 02:17 AM

There's a site called 'ASS' in Esthonia or somewhere that has a page of English-language jokes. It's worth a visit, even if only to find that you don't like it.

Some of the sites that Webferret finds!!

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 11:25 PM

"Be of good cheer. This, too, shall pass. I've had kidney stones, so I
know whereof I speak."

--- Lee Hays, November 1980

Was he speaking of that other disappointing election?

~ Becky in Tucson

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:38 PM

Thanks Jim, these are great! The cached link you posted for "O Canada, we plead to cede to thee" didn't seem to work, so here's one that might do the job: O Canada, we plead to cede to thee (cached) Cheers...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 05:47 AM

Here's another one, courtesy of Carl Hiaasen..

a valentine from Florida to Ohio

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 01:51 AM

Sorry about that Chris, there IS a lot of BS at Mudcat, but rarely a dull moment to be had by sifting through them.

This was just what I needed, thanks Jim!

;-D

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 01:07 AM

The only thing I don't like about Mudcat is too many BS threads! This one isn't bad though...

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 01:01 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 12:59 AM

this is great!

Subject: RE: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: jaze
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 05:40 PM

Thanks for the laugh

Subject: BS: Humor to soften the blow
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 05:05 PM

I'm not interested in hearing Republicans gloat. I don't want to read about conspiracy theories right now, even if they're true. I don't want to see anything that will make me more depressed or angrier. I WANT STUFF THAT WILL MAKE ME LAUGH, or that will GRAPHICALLY reflect the way I feel.

Here's what I've found so far:

Same shit, different asshole!

Marry an American - a Canadian offer to help.

Joining's easy, eh, an invitation from the Toronto Sun.

O Canada, we plead to cede to thee from the Philadelphia Daily News. (By looking at the Google cache instead of the original article, you avoid having to log in.)

A fictional Time Magazine cover

The real cover of the Daily Mirror (UK), November 4, 2004 (a .pdf file)

17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Click anything. This show never disappoints.

The Onion always has something good.

Dave Letterman's Top Ten Archive has some good stuff about Bush.